


Deal with a Demon

by evaricious



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BL, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Dirty Talk, Food Kink, Hand Feeding, Hand Jobs, Infidelity, Kinks, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Original Fiction, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Power Play, Rimming, Smut, Swearing, Topping from the Bottom, Underage Drinking, Yaoi, boyslove, highschool, making deals, set in Japan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 132,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9658727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaricious/pseuds/evaricious
Summary: “Do you usually, that is, ah…” I paused, not really sure how to ask “do you do this with all the boys” without sounding like a love-struck idiot.“Only when I find someone my type.” He flashed me a grin, winking before turning around again.Jin is 17 and a virgin in love with his best friend. When chance introduces him to Gabriel, his world is turned upside-down as this demon with the face of an angel lays him bare and causes him to reevaluate every preconceived notion of love, sex and relationships.





	1. Sunday and Monday

**Author's Note:**

> Language notes: Meirin Gakuen: Meirin Academy  
> Shiteruyo: I know  
> Yoroshiku: word used when meeting people which essentially implies "let's get along together" 
> 
> Deals has now been edited with the help of the wonderful AnneSilverfire, although any errors that remain are entirely my own. Please enjoy this new and improved version^^ As always, comments and criticisms are welcomed.

Day Zero: the prologue (Sunday)

I’m at yet another fancy party for the elites to mindlessly mingle, and I want to go home.

My father is a board member of a multinational conglomerate, and I’ve been dragged to these events often enough that the novelty has worn off. He’s hardly ever home though. Being the main contact for international relations, he’s often visiting the overseas branches. I’ve been told my entire life that—as I’m the only son-- it’s my duty to follow in my father’s footsteps one day. I’m supposed to be applying for T University and if I don’t get in…let’s just say I’ll be in trouble.

I don’t really care either way. It’s not like I have a plan for my future. But I don’t really want to work with foreigners. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I know that English is not my strong suit. And my personality is such that I don’t find it easy to get along well with strangers. I get flustered easily in social situations and I make a fool of myself. Basically, I am the worst possible successor imaginable.

Tonight was shaping up to be a bust. I had escaped from my father and found a quiet corner to hide in pretty quickly. A cursory glance around the room had revealed a few other kids around my age, but mostly the room was stuffed with old men in bad suits eagerly sucking up and pretending they gave a damn about each other.

I had noticed him quickly; he really stood out. The shock of golden blond hair was not uncommon at this kind of event, but it was usually on a woman (generally someone’s trophy wife). My eyes had been following him around the room for almost an hour, and he was now standing with a Japanese lady, head bent down to talk. Even from this distance I could tell he would be taller than me, although he looked about my age. He was laughing now at something his companion had said. I was too far away to be able to hear over the general murmur in the room, but I watched his whole face light up. Without warning, he straightened and our eyes met across the room. Definitely a teenager—although he filled out his suit better than I did.

I froze, mortified that I had been caught staring, but before I could duck away he flashed me a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back before I turned and fled. Smiling across a room was one thing, but I was terrible at making conversation with beautiful people and strangers, and he was both.

I tried to keep out of sight after that, but everywhere I lingered I watched for him. He seemed to be accompanying the lady from before; she was introducing him to people. He was probably like me, a son being hauled along on a business trip—although in my case it was to set me up for the future. In his it was probably just to show him off.

I wished I had something to do. If I didn’t look busy my father was bound to drag me over to meet yet another stranger; so I cast one more longing look at his figure before slinking out of the hall to play on my phone. I had discovered I could usually get away with this tactic for half an hour at a time, and I often overheard interesting things from the smokers who gossiped outside.

Tonight really wasn’t going my way. My phone battery was already so low that I knew I wouldn’t be able to use it for long. I really wanted to call my friend Hiro and bitch about being stuck here but I knew that he would be at his part time job. Deciding that another slow round of the room would have to do, I shoved my phone back in my pocket and strode back into the hall.

I scanned the room for the blond again, but to my disappointment my eye candy had disappeared. Never mind. It wasn’t like I was _that_ invested anyway. I was already nursing a crush on Hiro, and even if I hadn’t been in love with my best friend I wasn’t brave enough to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger anyway.

Slowly, I weaved through the groups of chatting businessmen. I snagged a champagne flute on my way past a table and took a sip of the fizzy liquid. It failed to calm my nerves, but at least now I wasn’t empty handed.

I sipped at my champagne again, but I was careful to drink it slowly. I had learnt early on just how quickly the bubbles could go to your head.

“Jin!”

The sound of my name being called attracted my attention, and I looked over to see my father motioning for me to join him. No doubt he wanted to introduce me to the large foreigner he was currently entertaining.

I plastered a polite smile on my face. I had practiced this face in the mirror at home for hours to get it right. If there was one of my faults I wished to change the most, it was to stop my emotions from showing so easily on my face. The first time I had tried French cuisine was at a huge banquet, and I was sure I had offended the guest of honour with my honest reaction. I had been sure my father was going to disown me right then.

I approached at a sedate pace, transferring the glass to my left hand in preparation for the inevitable handshake. That was another thing I hated about foreign relations; there was so much touching involved. It disgusted me.

As I drew near I could hear my father saying in his accented English,“-also 17 years old, in his last year of high school.”

The foreigner was nodding along as he turned towards me, and from behind his broad shoulders the handsome stranger from before came into view.  My smile faltered for a second.

“This is Jin, he goes to Meirin academy and he’ll take the Tokyo University entrance exams later this year,”

I held out my hand automatically and the man grasped it firmly.

“Hi, I’m Jin.” I said. The back of his hand was hairy. I looked up as he introduced himself.

“Lovely to meet you, Jin. This is my son, Gabriel. He’s 17 too.” I turned my head towards the young man and we locked eyes. Gabriel’s eyes were brown, not liquid black like mine, and there was a playful quirk to his lips that made my palms feel instantly sweaty. This close I could see that his blond hair had been dyed that way. The roots were showing just a hint of brown. We shook hands and I tried not to notice how moist my palm was.

“Gabriel has come to study for a year in Japan as an exchange student” my father was telling me, and I nodded automatically as he released my hand. Could he tell how nervous I felt? He was grinning at me, but it felt more predatory than friendly, and with a sinking feeling I knew he was fully aware of how uncomfortable I felt.

“How wonderful” I said, cursing my thick accent and wishing the floor would just open up and save me from this embarrassment.

“I’m sure you two will get along, why don’t you show him around?” I nodded at my father’s instructions.

“Have you seen the gardens?” I asked, speaking slowly and carefully as I struggled with the difficult words.

“Not yet. Will you show me?”

“Of course.” Concentrating on maintaining my neutral expression, I turned back to Gabriel’s father.

“It was nice to meet you.” I said, bowing slightly before turning to gesture out of the hall.

“Let’s go this way.”

I directed Gabriel towards the exit, stashing my half-drunk champagne on a table as we passed.

Gabriel was following just a step behind me so I couldn’t see his face. It was unnerving. Should I say something to break the ice? Hadn’t they said he was going to be an exchange student?

“Do you know what high school you will go to?” God I hated speaking English. I always tested well—which just made it that much more embarrassing when I tried to speak and sounded like a stereotype. It made me feel so inferior when I couldn’t sound like a native speaker.

“Meirin gakuen,” was the reply, and I nodded.

“That’s my high school,” I commented idly.

“Shiteruyo.” We had reached the doors, and I indicated we should take the steps down to the courtyard below. Gabriel had fallen into pace beside me and it wasn’t until the fourth step down that I realised.

“You speak Japanese!” I cried in surprise, spinning to face him as he laughed.

“Of course,” was his reply. “I’m going to school here, it’d be pretty hard if I couldn’t speak the language.”

I felt my face flush red; his Japanese was flawless.

“I wish I could speak English as well as you speak Japanese.” I was whining, but I was relieved I didn’t have to keep conversing in English. He shrugged in reply, explaining that his mother was Japanese and that he had grown up speaking it at home.

“Oh.” As we reached one of the many floodlit sakura trees that bordered the courtyard we stopped to look up at the illuminated blooms.

“I’m bored” he said, turning to lean against the trunk. Now that we were outside he had dropped his formal manner, and his arms were crossed lazily across his chest. I could see a shimmer in the fabric of his jacket. It looked expensive, and I suddenly felt very self-conscious about my own, off-the-rack suit.

“Ah, what would you like to do? We’re a bit limited, being stuck here...” I trailed off. It was suddenly hard to meet his gaze.

 “What do you usually do for fun at these things?” he asked, and I couldn’t help the crooked smile from twisting my lips.

“I don’t,” I told him flatly, shrugging my shoulders.

He was still staring at me; I could feel the intensity of his gaze.

“You’re not looking in the right places,” came the teasing reply, and I dared to look up again.

When he caught my eye he winked, and to my extreme embarrassment I felt myself blush.

“So what else is there to see here?” he asked, pushing off the tree trunk and crossing the few steps over to me. Standing shoulder to shoulder I was reminded of how much taller than me he was. 

“There’s a fountain further down this way,” I gestured to the stone steps leading down to the pond, watching as he skipped down them. I followed slowly, not trusting my footing in the dark as the lights and sounds of the party faded into the distance.

It was dark at the fountain. Even though it was late the water was still running, and the steady patter of it mingled with the shrill sound of crickets in the cool spring air.

Gabriel had stepped right up to the edge of the pond. For a moment I hung back, just taking in his outline in the moonlight.

As I watched, he removed his jacket, folding it and carefully laying it down before pulling off his shoes and socks and rolling up the pant legs of his suit. I walked closer as he sat down at the edge, quickly imitating him before we both dipped our feet in the cool water. 

“I think I’ll like it here.”

I was surprised when he spoke, we’d been silent for so long. Gabriel had laid back, cushioning his head with his arms as he scanned the sky above.

“Its peaceful,” he added. I leant back on my elbows, letting my head tilt towards him. I had lived in the city all my life. I knew there were no stars to see above us in the empty sky.

“It’s not peaceful at home?” I asked, curious about this almost-stranger. It was weird how I was able to keep talking to him. Usually my nerves rendered me silent, but although Gabriel was filling my stomach with butterflies, I still managed to form sentences.

“Definitely not.”

“I guess I know what you mean.” I offered, thinking of my own home life.

We lapsed into silence again before I felt compelled to say something.

“This is the strangest thing I’ve ever done.” I confessed, and I was slightly offended when he laughed.

“What, you’ve never ditched a party to play in a fountain before?”

“No,” the way my voice came out, so shy and hesitant, was annoying me.

“Although, I once faked food poisoning to get out of talking to the chairman’s daughter.” I frowned, remembering the incident.

Another laugh, this time Gabriel sat up and slapped his thigh.

“What for? What was wrong with her?”

I flushed hotly, recalling the events immediately prior to my escape.

“She was, ah, being quite forward.”

Gabriel smirked at me. “So what did she do? Kiss you?”

It should be illegal to be that attractive, I thought as he watched me through his lowered eyelashes. His lashes were a brown tint, and ridiculously long for a boy. 

“Nothing like that, she was just clingy. She kept hanging on to my arm.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes at me. “Is that all? God, I thought she must have tried to grab your cock at least.”

I flushed bright red, turning my face away to hide my embarrassment. Fortunately Gabriel didn’t seem to notice. At the very least he didn’t tease me further.

“So you didn’t appreciate her advances?” He was still watching me and I felt self-conscious under his gaze. I shook my head and tried to explain.

“She was pretty, I guess. I just…wasn’t interested.”

“Why not? Did you have a girlfriend?”

I shook my head again.

“No.”

“A boyfriend then?”

“W-what? N-no!”

Even if the darkness was covering my blush, he must have heard my stammer.

Gabriel was laughing at me again. He lay back down again, kicking and lifting his feet from the fountain and letting the water run down. His skin was darker than mine. Even his feet were a golden tan colour.

“You don’t like pushy girls then,” He said thoughtfully before adding, “So what is your type?”   

 I wasn’t sure how to answer. My gaze travelled up his body and came to rest on his lips.

“I don’t know if I have a type.” I lied, because I was fast realising my type was good-looking confidant boys whose eyes sparkled when they teased me.

“Everybody has a type. You just haven’t found it yet.” He sat up again, looking me dead in the eye. “I get the feeling you’re inexperienced in the romance department.”

As a healthy seventeen year old faced with an attractive peer, this was mortifying.

“I bet you’re a virgin.”

The words hung heavily in the air, and in the silence I heard the water splash as Gabriel climbed to his feet. I watched helplessly as he straddled me. I could feel the dampness spreading where his legs pressed against me, soaking into my pants. Unable to meet his gaze, I squeezed my eyes shut.

I froze as his hands touched my stomach. His long fingers splayed against me and the unexpected touch caused me to gasp in surprise. The warm scent of his cologne filled my nose. It was intoxicating; sweet and spicy like cinnamon.

“W-what are you doing?” I hated how my voice cracked, I sounded like a panicky kid.

“I saw you,” His voice was a low whisper, and I felt a jolt run through me. “You were watching me.”

“I wasn’t,” I feebly tried to defend myself, but even I didn’t believe me.

“Liar.” Even without seeing it, I knew he was smirking again. I could see his face so clearly even with my eyes closed.

Why? I thought desperately, but out loud I just stammered, “Were _you_ w-watching me?”

“Mmhm,” Gabriel’s hands were roaming across my stomach. One was reaching back to travel over my thigh and I bent my knee unconsciously, bringing it closer to his touch. 

Perhaps because I wasn’t looking my other senses seemed to be hyper aware. Everywhere he was touching me felt hot. His hands were leaving blazing trails where they caressed, and the pressure on my groin from where he sat was causing me all kinds of problems. I could hear my own pulse hammering loudly in my ears and I wondered vaguely if he could hear it too.

A hand was trailing up my side now, gently pulling at my shirt as his strong fingers caressed me through the fabric.

“I know you want me.” His hand trailed over my chest, stopping over my hammering heart and I knew I was busted. He chuckled before his hand continued up to dance across my collarbone, trailing up my neck to comb through my hair. I felt him lean closer, and when he spoke next it was in my ear, causing me to shiver unconsciously.

“Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?”

I tried to say “No,” but all I managed was a quick shake of my head.

“I thought: _I wonder what he tastes like?”_

His hot breath fanned across my face.

“Jin.”

It was the first time he had said my name, and I opened my eyes in surprise. Gabriel was so close I could see my own frightened face reflected in his pupils. They were blown so wide the dark brown was just a ring around the blackness.

“Have you ever been kissed?”

#

_“Have you ever been kissed?”_

Gabriel’s words were echoing in my brain, but I couldn’t answer for several reasons. One reason was that I hadn’t, and I was too mortified to admit that to someone like Gabriel. Another was that my mind had been wiped of all cognitive functions. But the overriding reason was that as soon as the words left his mouth, his lips had closed gently over mine.

I had no idea what to do, but Gabriel seemed to know what he was doing. His lips were softer than I expected as they moved against mine, and I felt myself grow weak under their gentle pressure.

Hands were cupping my face, tilting my head back as his fingers trailed through my hair. I felt dizzy and out of breath, but I didn’t want to stop. Just when I felt like I was getting the hang of kissing him back, I felt his tongue slide against my lower lip.

I froze again and Gabriel drew back slightly.

“Open your mouth.” He commanded softly, and as his lips closed once more over mine I allowed him to gently part them, letting him slide his tongue against my own. Tilting my head further, he deepened the kiss, and mindlessly I reached out to grab fistfuls of his shirt as he pushed me to the ground.

I felt him move off of me, and for a moment I mourned the loss of his body pressed against mine, but then I felt a gentle nudge against my knee, urging my legs to part. The warm pressure returned as Gabriel straddled one leg. Every stroke of his tongue was sending jolts of pleasure through me, and I could feel that I was hard, straining against the fabric of my dress pants. I was so lost in kissing Gabriel that it didn’t occur to me that he might be similarly affected. I felt a twitch against my thigh that caused me a moment of panic. Suddenly, the real world was back in a rush and I realised where I was and what I was doing.

Pressing my hands flat against Gabriel’s chest I tried to push him away as I turned my head, breaking the kiss.  

“Something wrong?” he asked calmly. He sat back and watched me curiously.

“I’m sorry,” I said, a hand reaching up to touch my swollen lips.

I looked back at him, just sitting there patiently, the bulge in his pants pressing into my thigh.

“What am I doing?” I asked in a daze.

“Aren’t you having fun?” He asked, cocking his head at me like _I_ was the one acting strange.

“It’s not- I mean I’m not-“ What was I trying to say? I struggled to get my thoughts in order, but it was difficult when Gabriel’s hands had returned to caressing me, trailing down my chest. One hand brushed across my lower stomach and I knew he could see how I was responding to his touch.

“S-stop that.” I reached up to grab both his hands in mine, holding them away from my body.

“I don’t know what it’s like where you come from,” I started, still unable to look at his face as I tried to get myself under control.

“But you can’t do this in Japan.”

My hands went limp for a moment, and before I realised what was happening, Gabriel had pinned my arms above my head. His hands were larger than mine, and he easily held my wrists in one hand while the other cupped my cheek. I felt the pad of his thumb brush against my lower lip and unconsciously my tongue darted out to moisten my lips. He chuckled as my tongue touched his thumb and I blushed deep red again. My eyes were wide as he swooped lower to kiss me.

“Sweet little Jin,” He whispered against my lips, and I felt a shiver run through me, “I always do whatever I want.”

We were interrupted by a buzzing from his jacket, and with a heavy sigh he climbed off me to retrieve his phone. I felt myself go weak with relief at the interruption.

“They’re wondering where we are,” he called over his shoulder while I lay still, fingers gently touching my lips as I tried to process everything that had happened.

“We should go back.” I said, sitting up slowly and looking around for my shoes and jacket. I was able to reach them with a stretch, and quickly pulled my shoes and socks back on.

By the time I was standing and brushing off my dress pants, Gabriel had already redressed. He’d left his jacket unbuttoned and was ruffling his hair up with one hand as he stretched. He was so sexy I felt my still semi-hard cock twitch at the sight of him. My eyes dropped to his pants, but there was no tell-tale bulge visible.

Embarrassed and annoyed, I shook out my jacket before pulling it on.

Gabriel was clearly waiting for me; as soon as I took a step towards him he turned and we silently made our way up the steps.

There was so much I wanted to know, but I was too shy to ask the questions burning in my mind. We weren’t that far from the hall, I was running out of time.

“So do you go to many of these parties?” I asked, desperately wanting to ask if he did this sort of thing all the time.

He shrugged, hands in his pockets as he walked ahead of me.

“A few a year. Usually I try to avoid them.”

I frowned as I considered his answer. That didn’t tell me anything. I decided to try something a little more direct.

“Do you usually, that is, ah…” I paused, not really sure how to ask _“do you do this with all the boys”_ without sounding like a love-struck idiot.

He seemed to get it though, and turned around to walk backwards for a few steps.

“Only when I find someone my type.” He flashed me a grin, winking before turning around again.

“You look thoroughly fucked, by the way.” He called back over his shoulder, and realising that I had indeed been lying on the ground I whipped out my phone.

A quick check in the camera revealed that my hair was a mess, and I awkwardly tried to smooth it back with one hand as I continued my inspection. There was a flush high in my cheeks, and my lips looked darker and more plump than usual.

Lower the damage continued. My tie knot was askew and when I raised my arm to fix it I noticed that my shirt cuffs were also dirty. I couldn’t go back inside like this.

My steps slowed as I quickly sent my father a text explaining that I wasn’t feeling well and I was heading home early. There would probably be hell to pay later, but no amount of trouble later would compare to the lashing I’d get if I showed up again looking like I’d been rolling around in the gardens.

Gabriel noticed my slower pace and stopped, waiting for me to catch up.

“I’m a mess so I’m going home,” I said, waving my phone as I added “I’ve told my father I’m not feeling well.” Gabriel was watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.

“You know I’ve got a room at this hotel, right?”

“That’s lucky for you, I guess.” I frowned slightly. It seemed unkind to tease me that he had a shower to escape to while I had to ride the train looking like a mess. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Sweet, innocent Jin.”

His attitude was getting on my nerves now.

“I suppose I’ll see you at school then,” I said coldly, more than ready to leave.  

He smiled then, a twist of his lips that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Oh, you’ll see me real soon.” He quickly closed the gap between us, and before I could step away, his hand was in my hair, holding me still as he bent down to kiss me deeply. My parted lips allowed his tongue entrance and I reached up to steady myself against his broad shoulders as his tongue slid against mine. He drew back, smirking at my half-lidded eyes. He patted me on the head patronisingly.

“See you in your dreams, sweet Jin.”

And then he was gone, striding back to the hotel and swinging his jacket carelessly like he hadn’t just violated an innocent teenager. I watched him until he disappeared around the bend before my phone buzzing to life distracted me. I read my father’s angry message as I walked to the station. I didn’t care how annoyed he was, there was no way I was going back to that party.

#

“I’m home.”

The silence that greeted me was expected. My mother was hardly ever home—neither of them were.

I put my shoes away and headed straight to the bathroom, striping off my jacket as I went. I brushed and shook out the rest of my suit to get it as dirt-free as possible, before hiding them in the hamper. Hopefully I’d be able to come up with a convincing lie if I was questioned about it later.

It was a relief to step into the bathroom. I turned the taps to get the bath running before sitting down on the shower stool to wash.

I was still in shock.

I’d known for ages that I was into guys. To some degree I think I’d always known, but I had never done anything about it. Last year I had realised I had a crush on my best friend. I had decided not to confess my feelings though. Instead I quietly admired him and cherished my one-sided affection. I didn’t expect any in return. So when Gabriel had kissed me…

I shook my head as I remembered how I had responded to him so readily. My first kiss had been amazing and I was so mad at Gabriel for stealing it, but I was mad mostly at myself for enjoying it.

I washed quickly, rinsing the soap away and letting the cool water run through my hair. I shut off the shower and moved to the bath.

It wasn’t quite full but I turned off the water anyway. My thoughts had once again returned to Gabriel. He was gorgeous, there was no denying that, I had thought he was beautiful the moment I spotted him. He had looked a bit like an angel with his blond hair and golden tan, but he was a demon in disguise. I couldn’t believe I’d let him do those things to me right after I’d told him I had rejected someone who had only held my arm!

I envied his self-confidence, or had he just been able to tell that I wouldn’t reject him? Either way, I hoped we could avoid each other at school. There were four classes in my year, and even though we were the same age he could still be placed in the year below me. It wasn’t often overseas students matched up with the school year commencing in the spring.

My eyes were already drifting closed so I decided I might as well call it a night. I was in the kitchen getting a drink when I heard someone come in.

“I’m home.” My mother’s flat voice floated down the hall.

“Welcome back,” I called from the kitchen.

She appeared in the kitchen doorway with a surprised look on her face.

“Oh! I wasn’t expecting anyone to be back.” She went straight to the fridge and poured herself a drink.

“I came home early. Wasn’t feeling well.”

I wrinkled my nose as I caught a whiff of alcohol and made a mental note that she’d doctored the orange juice again. I wouldn’t want to drink it in the morning by mistake.

“Well, get an early night.” She drank deeply from the glass as I turned to leave. “Did you get to meet Gabriel?” she called after me and I stopped short in the hall, very confused.

“Huh? Yes, I did.” I could feel the tell-tale warmth in my face and hoped that she wouldn’t notice. Why was my mother asking about him?

“How did you like him?”

An odd question, but then again, everything about my family was odd.

“He was alright,” I said as nonchalant as I could. She tilted her head back to finish her drink. I stared at the hand wrapped around her glass; it was missing her wedding ring.

“I hope you’ll be a good friend to him this year.”

“Sure,” I replied, faking a yawn and excusing myself on the pretext of being exhausted.  

Alone in my room I let my memories replay on loop. I brushed my teeth when I had dressed for bed, but the mint couldn’t cover up the taste of champagne and Gabriel on my tongue. It took me a long time to fall asleep that night, and once I did finally drop off I was plagued with dreams of being seduced by an angel with devil horns.

 **Day One: the deal is struck** (Monday)

My alarm tore me from my restless sleep, and the first thing I noticed was my raging erection. Gabriel’s prediction had been right; he had haunted my dreams. I rolled onto my side, closing my hand over myself and squeezing down. Thank god I hadn’t made a mess in my sleep. I felt annoyed at Gabriel for stealing my first kiss. I had been enduring my crush on my best friend Hiroki for a year, and although I didn’t think I’d ever have the courage to confess to him, I had often dreamed of the best outcome of that scenario. I smiled to myself as I thought of my best friend.

Hiro was an angel on earth, pure and kind.  I brought my knees up, curling in on myself as I began to pump the shaft. It was Hiro’s face I pictured now as I closed my eyes and pleasured myself. Hiro would never have teased someone like Gabriel had last night. I felt my release building as I bucked my hips. With a final gasp I came, spilling hotly into my cupped hand. My orgasm sent a shudder through me and for a moment I was back on the ground last night, the sound of my pounding heart drowning out the sound of the fountain as Gabriel kissed me senseless.  

I groaned in annoyance at the intrusive memory. Reaching for the tissue box, I pulled a few sheets free and wiped myself clean, wincing as my irritation caused me to wipe a little too roughly.

Why did I have to remember that bastard’s face?

I threw the dirty tissues in the trash. I wasn’t going to think about him anymore, that was for sure. I would avoid him completely at school, and I would never think about my stolen first kiss again.

#

My school looked the same as always. This was my third and final year at Meirin Academy and I knew its grounds and halls well. I usually arrived early, and today was no exception. I gave a general greeting on entering and the few students already present called back as I made my way to the desks in the back.  Hiro was already at his desk, his head pillowed on his folded arms as he slept. At the start of the term I had drawn the lot for the very back window seat, but Hiro had begged to swap with me. I was weak to his insistence that he simply must have a window seat, that he would die if he had to sit in the middle, I wouldn’t want Hiro to _die_ , would I? And so I had traded with him, happy that I could do something he wanted. I pulled out the seat at the desk in front of him, sitting backwards and propping my head on my hands as I waited for Hiro to return to the waking world.

Hiro was easily the most well-liked boy in the class—probably the entire school. He was always smiling, was never mean or angry, and was good at his studies and sports. When I had first met him in our first year of high school I had envied him. I worked so hard at my studies and he still managed to beat me at every subject, and no one would accuse me of being gifted athletically. But it was hard to dislike Hiro because he never bragged or tried to put anyone down. I also knew that his family struggled financially, and that on top of extra studying every afternoon he worked part time to help out, which was why he was often sleeping on his desk in the mornings, like today.

I was jolted from my thoughts as Hiro yawned and sat up. He gazed blearily around the room. By the time his eyes came to rest on me I was holding both hands behind my back.

“M-morning.” He yawned, stretching his arms wide and rubbing at his neck.

“Good morning,” I told him cheerfully. “Guess which hand.”

Hiro smiled, and made a show of thinking for a moment before announcing, “Left!”

“Ja-jan! Correct as always!” I placed a canned coffee and a curry bun on the desk and Hiro fell on them gratefully.

“Fanks, Jin.” He said around a mouthful of bread. “You’re the best.”

“I know.” I said airily, waving it off as nothing.

This was a morning ritual for us. One of Hiro’s jobs was to deliver papers weekday mornings, because an evening job would interfere with his study schedule. So by the time he finished his route he would come straight to school every day. The first time I had heard his stomach rumble in homeroom I had vowed to bring him breakfast every single morning. It was the best thing I spent my allowance on.

“You had another one of those party things over the weekend, didn’t you? How’d it go?” Hiro asked as he scrunched up the plastic from his breakfast.

“It was…fine,” I said hesitantly. I did not want to talk about the events of the previous night.

“Did you get to practice your English much?”

I blushed, remembering how little I had actually had to say before Gabriel had slipped into effortlessly natural Japanese.

“Not really.” Hiro picked up that I didn’t want to talk about it and asked me instead if I’d seen the latest episode of his favourite show. Gladly, I let him tell me all about it.

The classroom gradually began to fill up, and I was distracted by a group of girls chatting excitedly about an exchange student rumoured to be starting today. I felt my heart sink as I recalled the conversation from last night.  

That’s right. That pain in the ass is going to my school now _,_ I thought, feeling my annoyance rise again. Still, it wasn’t a small school, I was sure I’d be able to avoid him. I said goodbye to Hiro and went to my own desk as the teacher walked in, calling us to order. It took a little longer than normal for everyone to settle down, but finally we were quiet enough for our teacher to tell us that we had a new student transferring to our class.

The volume immediately went back up, and it took another minute to get the class to calm down again before our teacher could introduce Gabriel. I watched in silent horror as the teacher wrote Gabriel’s name on the board in large, even letters. Gabriel introduced himself briefly in his perfect Japanese and the class immediately erupted into questions. He smiled good naturedly and answered that he was Australian-Japanese and that he had lived all of his life in Australia, but was doing his last year of high school as an exchange student as he hoped to attend a university in Japan. There was a collective gasp when he answered that he was aiming for T University.

He didn’t look at me once, and for a few minutes I had the strange feeling that I had imagined everything from the night before, but then the teacher interrupted the interrogation and told him to take a seat at the empty desk next to me. Finally, he looked me dead in the eyes…

And then the bastard smirked at me. 

“Takezawa-kun, please show Gabriel-kun around until he can find his way.”

I tore my gaze from Gabriel’s smug face to stare at the teacher. I hoped my own face wasn’t displaying the dismay I felt at the current situation as I forced myself to reply that I would do so.

Gabriel moved purposefully towards me and slid between our desks to take the empty seat to my right.

“Yoroshiku, _Jin_ ,” he whispered to me, winking as I looked over at him.

I shot him a dark look but didn’t respond as I resolved to ignore him for the rest of the lesson.

#

During the break between classes there was a crowd of girls surrounding Gabriel.  He seemed to enjoy the attention and I listened surreptitiously as he answered their increasingly personal questions. When he revealed that he didn’t have a girlfriend I saw a few heart eyes being directed at him, and a feeling of satisfaction made me smile as I thought of how disappointed they were going to be.

I was dreading lunchtime (as that was when I would be expected to take charge of showing the demon around) and as time often does when you want it to go slower, the morning’s lessons slipped by in a blur. At the lunch bell, I closed my book slowly and dug my wallet out from my bag. On Mondays, Hiro and I ate in the cafeteria and I bought him lunch. It was a ritual we had started a long time ago, when an old job of Hiro’s had paid on Tuesdays. Thus, the day before he was often hungry and broke. I had insisted we keep up the tradition because I had nothing better to do with the ridiculous allowance my parents gave me, and I liked the routine. Hiro had protested, as he always did at first, but eventually gave in. He often told me he would repay my kindness when he was an adult, grown and earning a real living. Secretly I would have been happy to take care of him forever. It made me happy to know that I was looking after Hiro’s wellbeing.  But I also knew that realistically what we had wouldn’t last forever.

Sighing and figuring that I’d better get it over with, I turned to Gabriel and invited him to lunch with us. He accepted and I grudgingly introduced him to Hiro, glaring as Gabriel shook his hand and Hiro complemented his Japanese.

“Can we go now, I’m starving,” I said snappishly, causing Hiro to shoot me a concerned glance.

“Are you okay, Jin? You seem in a bad mood today.”

I shrugged non-committedly, “Just hungry I guess.”

We walked to the cafeteria where we were joined by the rest of our group. Saki, Miya and I had been friends since elementary school. We had been neighbours as children and our parents all got along well back then. I was glad that we had remained close into high school, even if the occasional pointed comments from my mother of “Miya’s a nice girl” and “Isn’t Saki lovely” were a bit annoying. Takuya had been Hiro’s soccer club friend from middle school, and when Hiro and I had become friends three years ago we had just combined our groups. Everyone seemed to get along with each other, and as far as I knew none of us had ever had a major fight. I think the trick was that we hadn’t tried to date each other.  This thought was a major factor in preventing me from coming out and confessing to Hiro. I would rather die alone than lose his friendship.

I had swallowed my fear and introduced everyone to Gabriel, trying to maintain a happy façade—if only to hide my bad mood from Hiro. I hated to lie to him but I did _not_ want to be questioned about what was bothering me. I was nervous that Gabriel would expose me, telling my friends about the events of last night, and so I watched him like a hawk as he greeted everyone individually.  As I expected, the girls were excited to meet Gabriel. They immediately sandwiched him by clinging onto an arm each, and promised to tell him everything he could ever want to know. By the time we had lined up, I was feeling better about the situation already. I should have known my friends would take over for me, maybe this wouldn’t be as excruciating as I thought. Little did I know there was another bombshell waiting to drop.

“So you’re here for the whole year?” Miya asked, pushing her food around with her chopsticks and resting her head on one hand.

“Yep. The whole year.” Gabriel flashed her a smile as he raised another gyoza to his lips. I watched him bite into the crispy morsel. Everyone had already marvelled over his perfectness. It seemed unfair that one person could just naturally do everything. I found myself wishing he had been cursed with an inability to use chopsticks, but he’d even split the cafeteria’s disposable ones perfectly in half.

I looked down at my own unevenly split chopsticks and huffed in annoyance. Hiro shot me another worried look, so I quickly turned it into a cough, turning away from the table to hide my face.

“Where are you staying? The dormitories?” I heard Saki ask, and even though I loved her like a sister I felt a rising annoyance with her. Could she _be_ any more obvious? But before anyone could call her on it, Gabriel told her.

“I’m being hosted this year. I’m staying with Jin.”

Suddenly I felt the need to cough for real. Hiro was quick to thump me on the back as I choked on air.

“What?! No one told me that!” I erupted, rounding on a calmly smiling Gabriel. He just shrugged at me and sipped his drink with an innocent look on his face.

I couldn’t believe my parents had failed to tell me this incredibly important piece of information. Suddenly though, my mother’s comments from the night before made more sense. I had wondered why she had wanted me to be a “good friend” for Gabriel this year. Why couldn’t she have just said, “Oh, and by the way, he’ll be living here this year”….my mother was useless.

I shook it off, deciding that I was just going to have to roll with the punches from now on. Gabriel was once again absorbed in answering everyone’s questions as I silently listened to the banter. In less than 24 hours I felt like my entire existence had been turned upside-down. If things continued the way they had begun, I was in for a rollercoaster of a year.

#

The rest of the school day was a blur. Gabriel hadn’t mentioned a single word about the previous night. He didn’t so much as hint that he had met me before today, and for that small blessing I was grateful. After school we all decided to grab a bite at a nearby café before Hiro had to go to his study session. An older cousin of his had been tutoring him a few nights a week for the last two weeks. No one else in our group had started working that hard for uni next year but Hiro was aiming for a full scholarship to T University and he knew for that he needed top grades. I thought he was amazing.

It was surprizing how easily Gabriel had inserted himself into my circle of friends. He was good-naturedly teasing them and laughing easily at their jokes. I felt a wave of jealousy when it was discovered that he and Hiro followed the same band. I glared at them over my iced coffee as they shared a pair of earbuds to listen to their latest single on Hiro’s phone.

All too soon we were splitting up. Hiro left with Takuya, they lived in the same direction, and the girls announced that they were going shopping. They invited us along (or at least, they invited Gabriel) but he declined, saying that his belongings had been delivered today and he felt he should unpack them so as not to inconvenience his host mother.

“You’re such a gentleman! Are all Australians as considerate as you?” Saki asked, making heart eyes at him again while Miya giggled.

“No one’s like me,” Gabriel replied, catching my eye and winking while the girls swooned at him.

Since we were heading in different directions we said goodbye to Saki and Miya and headed for the station. I kept sneaking glances at Gabriel as we walked. With his hands in his pockets as he sauntered down the street he looked totally at ease, and the complete opposite of how I felt. It annoyed me.

A thought had occurred to me earlier and now that we were alone I voiced it.

“You knew that you would be staying with me when we met last night, didn’t you?” I was watching him surreptitiously for his response and, as expected, he was smirking again in that dangerously sexy way.

“Of course.”

 I felt a wave of irritation towards my parents. Why hadn’t they warned me? Stupid father. He even introduced us. How hard is it to say _he’ll be living with us for the next year_?

“You’re mad at me.” 

I stopped and looked at him in surprise.

“No,” I started to lie, and then changed my mind.

“Yes. You could have said something last night.” He laughed and reached out to ruffle my hair, but I slapped his hand away impatiently.

“Sweet Jin. I did think it was funny that you didn’t seem to know. I wonder why your parents didn’t tell you?”

His gaze had fixed on a point across the road, and I turned to see what had caught his eye.

“It’s a shrine,” I told him, pointing out the large, imposing torii gate. His response was to roll his eyes.

“Yea. That’s pretty obvious. Can we go in? I’ve always wanted to make a wish at a shrine!”

His eyes had gone shiny with delight, and I shook my head at his childishness.

“Sure, if you want to so badly…” I trailed off, and we crossed the road. I had expected him to balk at the etiquette of shrine visiting, but to my surprise he listened seriously to my every instruction. I demonstrated how to purify his hands and watched as he took the ladle, carefully mimicking my movements with a look of concentration on his face.

We made our way to the main building and I told him to watch me first.

Stepping forward, I let my small change clatter into the offering box. I bowed deeply three times, and grasped the bell rope to ring the bell. Clapping twice, I held my hands together and earnestly prayed “ _Please let this year go by quickly and uneventfully_ ” before bowing three times again.

I stepped back and asked if he’d got all that.

“Do you have to bow three times?” he asked, and I shrugged vaguely.

“It varies between people and shrines. This is an important shrine,” I looked him dead in the eyes as I added, “And I was making a very big wish.”

“That so?” was his reply, and I turned to watch him as he stepped forward.

He paused and looked over his shoulder.

“How much money do you give?” he asked, reaching into his bag for his wallet.

“As much or as little as you want really. But generally people just give small coins.”

He nodded thoughtfully before opening his wallet and shaking the entire contents into the donation box. I watched dumbfounded as a shower of coins bounced on the wooden slats, and even a few folded notes fluttered down.

He bowed three times, ringing the bell and clapping as I had before silently bowing his head for a few moments. Then he bowed three more times and turned to me with a smile.

“Okay, all done.” He skipped down the stone steps to me and tousled my hair again. “Let’s go.”

Shaking my head at him again, I turned to head home. As he stepped up beside me I asked him what he had wished for.

“Can you tell people that?” He sounded surprised.

“Of course!” I laughed in spite of myself. It didn’t seem like Gabriel was caught off guard often, but when he was it was very cute.

“Oh. Back home we don’t say wishes out loud. If you tell someone it means it won’t come true.” 

I filed that piece of information away for future reference.

“What did you wish for?” he asked, and I quickly replied,

“For my family’s health and happiness.”

He made a face at me.

“That’s so boring.”

We had reached the street again, and I turned to bow again at the shrine entrance.

“Whatever. So what did you wish for?”

Gabriel quickly imitated my bow and followed me onto the street.

“Secret.” He said, flashing me a toothy grin as we walked side by side.

This was going to be a long year.

#

Gabriel’s things had indeed been delivered; two suitcases and several boxes were neatly stacked in the entrance hall. To my surprise my mother was home, she appeared briefly to welcome our guest, telling him he would be using the spare room upstairs. My older sister had married and moved out for good last year, and her room had been empty ever since. I tried not to let my horror show on my face as my mother blithely asked me to help Gabriel take his things upstairs.

Next to my room.

He was going to be sleeping in the room _next to my room_ …for a year.

I grabbed a box and silently carried it to the stairs, wondering what I had done in a past life to deserve this nightmare.

It only took two trips each to move everything, and then I hovered in the doorway watching him. Gabriel was sitting on the bed surveying the room. I hadn’t been in here since Hikari had moved out and it looked so different now from how I remembered it. My sister had always had the walls covered in posters of her favourite idols; I could still see a piece of blutac stuck to the wall.

I wasn’t sure how to break the silence that had descended. Gabriel’s intense gaze had settled on me as I leaned on the doorframe, and I averted my eyes.

This was clearly the wrong thing to do. I was learning quickly that Gabriel didn’t like to be ignored.

He got up from the bed and sauntered over, casually invading my personal space as he reached out to play with my hair.

“You can come in, if you want,” he teased, and I turned my head away from him. This was another mistake, as it only encouraged him to step closer. “Or we can go to your room if you prefer.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as he made the offer.

“No,” I said firmly, and tried to turn away to leave.

Gabriel’s arm had shot out behind me, blocking the exit.  

“Stay and play,” he said as I moved backwards to escape him.

He stalked closer and I continued to back away until the back of my legs hit the bed.

We were interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and while he was distracted I ducked around him. I got to the open door just as my mother appeared at the top of the stairs carrying a tray with drinks and two slices of cake.

“I thought you two might be hungry.” She was saying as Gabriel appeared by my side.

“Thanks ma,” I said, trying not to sound too relieved. She was obviously just trying to impress the new face by acting all caring and maternal, but regardless of her motivation I was grateful. She paused on the landing for a moment.

“I forgot. Gabriel doesn’t have a table in his room yet. Why don’t you sit in your room and chat, Jin? Get the door for me?” 

I stared in horror, but stepped forward to open my door silently. I had known there was no way to hide it for long, but I had still entertained a vague hope that I could keep it secret a while longer.

Gabriel thanked my mother politely and she waved it off, complimenting him on his perfect manners. She quickly arranged the drinks and plates on the low table and vanished, leaving me with Gabriel lingering in the doorway. We stared silently at each other as we listened to my mother’s footsteps descend the stairs. God damn it.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Gabriel drawled, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded casually.

I sighed dramatically, sinking to the floor and taking a sip of the iced tea. Knowing my mother was only just downstairs would surely keep him in check, right?

“Fine. Come in.”

He smirked and took a step forward, silently pushing the door closed behind him before taking a seat opposite me.

“Why are you so grumpy today Jin?” He asked, taking one of the plates and admiring the layered cake.

“You were in a much better mood last night.”

I flushed as he finally alluded to our unforgettable first meeting. He had plucked the whole strawberry from the top of his cake and was licking the cream with a flash of pink tongue. As I watched he bit the strawberry in half and I swallowed nervously. It was irritating how even though I hated this guy, I could still find everything he did sexy.

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with you for a whole year.”

He grinned wolfishly at me as I toyed with my cake.

“Cheer up. I promise it’ll be fun.”

_Aren’t you having fun?_

I shivered as I recalled his words from last night and glared at him as he cut and speared a piece of cake on his fork.

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” I said sternly, leaning forward slightly as I made my point. “What happened last night will never happen again. I just drank too much champagne.” I lowered my eyes to my own dessert, hoping that he would believe my lie. There was no way I was going to admit that I had been swept up in the mood. And as far as me finding him sexy? That was a secret I was taking to the grave.

“Hmm.” He murmured, sucking the fork clean before going for another bite. “And here I thought you liked me.” He pouted across the table at me, and I glared back.

“Of course not. I already hav-“ I stopped myself suddenly as I saw his eyes light up.

“So you already like someone else, huh?” he regarded me curiously while I held my breath. “I think I know who it is.” He continued to eat his cake while I tried to get my breathing under control.

“You couldn’t possibly. You’ve never met him.”

He ate his last bit of cake, but I could see him thinking carefully.

“You’re lying,” he announced at last, and I flushed an angry red, “and you’re cute when you’re mad.”

I refused to look at him as I ate my cake, furiously wishing that I wasn’t so helplessly out of control when it came to this demon.

“I don’t care if you want to keep your secret,” he said as he rose, coming around to kneel close to me. “But I am curious.”

I pushed the plate away; it was impossible to enjoy it with him teasing me. I started in surprise when he took hold of my chin, forcing me to turn my head towards him.

“Why haven’t you told him?”

I pushed at his chest ineffectually, trying to free myself from his grasp. I placed a hand on the wrist that held me captive, but as I struggled against him I realised I had no chance. He was so much more powerful than I was. I felt helpless again as I gave up struggling and looked into his eyes.

“I’m not discussing this with you,” I said angrily, hoping that if I refused to play his game he would get bored and leave me alone.

“Fine,” he said as he released me. He turned away and noticed my uneaten cake. “You haven’t eaten your strawberry.” I watched as he lifted the fruit, twirling it to gather more cream.

He held it out delicately to me.

“Open wide.”

“No thanks, I’m not hungry.” I replied petulantly, I made a move to stand, but quick as lightning Gabriel’s other arm had snaked around my torso, pinning my arms to my side as he held me against him.

“Now now, Jin,” he chastised, and bopped me on the nose with the strawberry. “You shouldn’t waste food.”

I glared at him with all the hate I felt, and he laughed in my face.

“You’ve got cream on your nose,” he told me.

My eyes darted to the desk where the tissue box was, but before I could say anything Gabriel had leaned closer and licked the cream off.

I froze in shock, and he took the opportunity to force the strawberry between my lips. Hating how powerless I felt, I gave in and bit into the fruit. Some of the cream smeared in the corner of my mouth.

Gabriel ate the rest of the strawberry, and I watched him as he sucked the cream from his fingers. I wanted to escape. I wanted to wash my face and hope the shame was as easy to wash away as the cream and the taste of strawberries.

But Gabriel wasn’t finished playing with me yet.

“You’re such a messy boy,” he said, and he licked the cream from my lips.

He had caught me off guard, and before I could voice my protest I felt his tongue caress the inside of my mouth. He tasted sweet and it took me a moment before I turned my head away.

Gabriel wasn’t deterred.

“Mmm, delicious,” he moaned. “You taste like strawberries.”

He leant in closer, nuzzling below my ear as he kissed a line down my neck.

“Stop it,” I told him weakly, trying in vain to pull my arms free and escape. It was scary how easily he turned me in his arms, pulling me flush against his chest. His long legs bent at the knee, caging me as he reached up to turn my head towards him.

“No.”

I stared with wide eyes at his single word reply before he brought his lips crashing down on mine again. But I was prepared this time. I firmly pressed my lips closed, and he withdrew quickly, sighing heavily but not releasing his hold on me.

“I don’t get you at all.” He said with a shake of his head. “I know you’re hot for me.”

To my extreme mortification, one of his hands was sliding down my chest. I quickly caught the hand in both of mine before it could drop lower.

“T-that’s…not the point,” I said, blushing furiously as I held the captured hand firmly. “I’m not in love with you,” I told him.

“Who said anything about love?” He seemed to be letting me hold his left hand, but he was gently running his fingers through my hair with his right. “I just want to have sex with you, I’m not asking for your hand in marriage.”

I couldn’t believe he’d actually said it out loud. I released his hand to cover my burning face.

“I don’t separate those things,” I said quietly through my fingers. My head had dropped forward and he was now pulling on the back of my collar to expose my neck. He pressed a kiss to the top of my spine.

“That’s disappointing.” He said sadly, but then perked up again. “What about kissing then?”

“Huh?!” I turned quickly in my surprise, and he let me twist in his arms to face him.

He shrugged casually, leaning one arm on the table but still holding my waist firmly in the other.

“Kissing. It’s not like you haven’t done it before.” He chuckled to himself, “well, after last night anyway.”

 _This guy…_ I thought angrily, but he was already leaning closer.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said suddenly. I gulped, knowing that whatever the terms were I was probably not going to like them.

“You’ll let me kiss you whenever I want, and in return,” he paused, and I held my breath as I waited for him to lay the worst on me, “I won’t tell dear Hiroki about your hard on for him.”

I felt my face turn brick red, and he grinned like he knew he’d won.

“…” I opened my mouth to counter his offer, but then closed it again. I needed to think about this, I needed to outsmart him. There was no point telling him he was wrong. My face had betrayed me. But there was no reason to let myself get swept along at his pace. Surely there was something I could do to protect myself.

“No deal,” I said firmly, and to my great pleasure I witnessed a look of surprise cross his face.

_Ha. That got you, didn’t it?_

“I’m already the one with the most to lose; I don’t think your terms are fair to me.”

There was a sparkle in his eye again. Good. If he was having fun then maybe he’d be more inclined to go along with me instead of the other way around.

“So what do you propose, sweet Jin?” he asked, voice dropping as his eyes lowered to fix on my lips.

Feeling very self-conscious, I faltered for a moment. My tongue darted out to lick my drying lips and I was surprised to see it visibly affect Gabriel as his pupils dilated.

“Being allowed to kiss me _whenever_ you want is too broad,” I began, and he raised his eyes to meet my steady gaze. “I propose,” I paused, _was I doing the right thing_? “That I will allow you to kiss me once per week, at a predetermined time and place.”

“You’re joking,” he said flatly, but I stared up at him resolutely. “You’re not joking. No. No deal.” He said, and before I could react he had pushed me back, pinning me to the floor as he straddled me. “I can easily overpower you, I could just take what I want.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as I realised his threats were the truth.

“Try again.”

For a moment I was too surprised to speak. When I opened my eyes, he was staring down, patiently waiting for a counter offer.

 _He really is playing a game_. Gabriel knew he could just force me, but he wanted to know that he was controlling someone.

I had known that he wouldn’t be happy with once a week. I had really only suggested it as a starting point. I was being trained for a life of negotiating in business after all. My father had taught me long ago, you _never_ put your best offer on the table first.

I made a show of giving up, and I watched his face register that I was no longer straining against his hold.

“...fine.” I said quietly, and I saw a flash of triumph in his eyes. I was pretty sure he’d agree to my next offer. He’d already had his fun. “…Once…every day.” I tried to sound utterly defeated as I made the offer, and I was rewarded by him letting go. I slowly sat back up, trying not to look too relieved.

I had thought from the moment he proposed a deal that once a day was something I could handle. I wouldn’t have to worry about him pouncing on me unexpectedly, and I would likely have time to prepare myself mentally.

I made a show of rubbing my wrist where he had pinned me down. There was a bright red mark and I was banking on him feeling either sympathy or satisfaction as I continued to negotiate.

“Once a day at an agreed time and place,” I stated, and he regarded me silently for a moment. I was starting to worry that he’d seen through my plan, but then he spoke up.

“Okay, we’ll make it here then, your room, every night before bed.”

This was going better than I could have imagined. I had been afraid he would insist on a compromising place, like school at lunch time, but this was perfect. I still hesitated, not wanting him to know I was happy with the arrangement.

I pouted before heaving a sigh that just screamed _it can’t be helped_ , and I offered him my hand.

“Deal.” I said, and he took my hand and shook it firmly.

“Deal.”

#

Later that night, Gabriel and I were downstairs having dinner together in front of the TV. Gabriel had been in a good mood all afternoon. After we had shaken on our deal he had returned to his own room to unpack, and I had been left in peace until we’d been called down for dinner.

I chanced a peek at him from the corner of my eye as I ate. He seemed to be absorbed in the game show that was on, and I didn’t want to draw him into a conversation if I could avoid it. But I had to admit (even if it was just to myself) that it was nice to have someone to eat dinner with. My parents were rarely in the house at the same time, and I had missed just having some company at the dinner table.

Today, like usual, my mother had disappeared after making arrangements for us. I never delved too deeply into what she got up to in the evenings. I was sure at least fifty percent of it was legitimate. She was the secretary of my school’s PTA, plus she had a tight circle of girlfriends from her college days. But there were some nights when she didn’t come home until morning, and I doubted her girlfriends drank whisky or smoked cigars.

The sneaking suspicion of my mother’s affairs had saddened me when I was younger, but time had healed that wound. Now it was just a fact of life, and all the more reason for my own beliefs and convictions.

In a way, I was actually relieved that there was now an official arrangement between Gabriel and I. Before the deal, I would have been alone in the house with him, completely defenceless. Now, Gabriel was satisfied that he had won and had a kiss to look forward to.

I finished eating and started to clear the plates away. I told Gabriel that I was going to wash up, and he could have a bath first if he wanted.

“Do you-“ I started to ask, but stopped when he gave me a withering look.

“Do not ask me if I know how a Japanese bath works,” He said, rising to his feet. I gulped as he towered over me.

“I was just going to ask you if you knew where it was,” I said lamely, crossing my fingers under the plates and hoping he wouldn’t notice the lie.

“Oh. Yeah, you’re ma told me earlier.”

I waited until he left, eyes following him out of the room before putting some of the dishes down to turn off the TV. Being around Gabriel was exhausting. I had no idea how I was going to last the rest of the year living with this unpredictable demon. When I returned to my room I found I had messages from both Miya and Saki on my phone, both asking about Gabriel. I quickly sent replies assuring them that Gabriel was settling in and that everything was great.

I then opened up a new message and started typing to Hiro.

            - Tomorrow’s breakfast, what should it be~

I hit send, sinking onto my bed to wait for Hiro’s reply. It came a moment later.

            - Hmm, yakisoba bun, maybe? Whatever you feel like is fine ^-^

I grinned and typed quickly

            - Hiro shall have a yakisoba bun and a canned coffee. Sleep tight ~

I heard the stairs creak and quickly hit send, jumping up to put my phone back on my desk. I grabbed my pyjamas and headed out just as Gabriel got to the top of the stairs.

 He was wearing track pants and no shirt. Still damp, his hair was an even darker gold and when it wasn’t sticking up everywhere it made him look younger, more innocent. I couldn’t help staring.

“Bath’s free,” he said as he passed me. I had stopped dead at the sight of him.

“Thanks,” I replied, telling myself to shake it off as I quickly descended the stairs.

I washed quickly. I couldn’t help how my thoughts turned to my pale, spindly limbs and how they compared to Gabriel’s tanned and toned body. It was depressing.

In the bath I found myself wondering what was about to happen. We had made a deal, but there was nothing to force Gabriel to stick to it. For that, I’d need leverage, and I had nothing on him. All I knew about him was he seemed to love playing with control, and I wasn’t sure how much I could work with that before he caught on to me.

The other worry was what exactly “kissing” entailed. When it was suggested Gabriel had specifically mentioned that anything we had done yesterday should by default be alright (on the grounds that it was nothing new). I tried to recall everything that I had let Gabriel do yesterday. He had pushed me to the ground, touched my chest through my shirt and put his tongue in my mouth. So far, he hadn’t touched my bare skin anywhere but my face and neck, and he hadn’t touched me below the belt. If he stuck to all this I was pretty sure I’d be okay, but last night we had been interrupted, and there was no way we could count on that every time. In fact, I think I’d probably die of stress if I was constantly being nearly caught making out with my host-brother.

An idea of setting a time limit occurred to me, and I wondered how Gabriel would react to it. I needed to make it a reasonable length or I was sure he would reject it outright. I wondered if he’d take five minutes, surely that was long enough.

I got out of the bath, drying myself and pulling on my clothes thoughtfully. I had deliberately chosen a long-sleeved tee to cover as much skin as possible, and the lack of buttons made it less “easy access” than the alternative. Really the only drawback was the wider neckline, but I was prepared to take that.

I made my way back upstairs slowly. A heavy sense of dread had fallen over me as I returned to my room. I had closed my door behind me but now it was open a crack. I pushed it open tentatively, wondering what I was going to find.

Gabriel was lying on my bed playing with his phone, but he sat up and put it aside as soon as he heard the door. I was relieved to see he’d put a shirt on.

“Come in!” he said as he welcomed me into my own room, throwing his arms wide while I stood framed in the doorway.

“I want to lay down some rules,” I said stiffly, and he quirked an eyebrow at me.

“A bit late for that now, don’tcha think?”

I stepped into my room and closed the door softly behind me.

“Maybe I should rephrase. I want to clarify the rules.” My voice was growing in confidence, and I could see that I had interested him.

“Go on,” He said, falling back onto my pillow and gesturing that I should continue. His phone lay abandoned on the bed next to him as he laced his hands behind his head.

“We agreed that I would let you kiss me. I assume when you say kiss you mean what we did last night.” I was keeping my distance at this stage. Gabriel had his eyes closed and it was impossible to read the expression on his face.

“Yes, that would be my definition of kissing,” he concurred, and I took a deep breath before I continued.

“So can I assume that these are the rules? One,”

He had opened an eye now, and I could tell despite his posture that I had his full attention.

“You will not try to remove or touch beneath my clothing.” I paused, waiting for his consent.

“One layer only. No jackets or hoodies.” He had closed both eyes again, and I breathed a sigh of relief for my first victory.

“Two, you will not attempt to touch me below the belt.”

I had expected an argument on this point, but to my surprise he merely sat up and smiled lazily.

“I won’t unless you want me too.”

I shivered as his gaze pinned me to the spot. I had won two now, and he was finally looking at me. Time to put my plan into action. I dropped my gaze, reaching up to rub at my neck and trying to give off an air of nervousness. It wasn’t hard; my heart was pounding. I peeked through my lashes to see if it was having the desired effect. To my great relief, I saw him draw in a quick breath. 

“The final rule is a time limit.” I waited to see if he would object, and when he didn’t immediately say no I continued.

“Last night we were interrupted, and I think that if we are entering this deal in the spirit of only doing what has been done before, that we should honour a time limit.”

Gabriel had swung his legs off the bed and was slowly getting to his feet. I felt a wave of panic rising as he purposefully stalked closer until he was directly in front of me. But this was part of the plan. I checked that he was watching me as I moistened my lips.

“A time limit…” he repeated distractedly, and I felt a flicker of hope. “How long do you suggest?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Maybe I was more suited to diplomacy than I thought. I looked up and blinked hesitantly at him. I was blushing—that I couldn’t helpbut it was all part of the plan.

“Ten minutes,” I offered, and waited for the verdict.

I had considered this for the longest time. I had decided that five minutes was bound to get shot down immediately, and I wasn’t confident I could haggle to keep it reasonable. But I thought that if I could get him distracted enough, that he might just agree to ten minutes simply to get the deal sealed.

I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until he picked up my phone from the desk.

“Hey-“ I reached for my phone, but all he did was grab my wrist and slap the phone into my upturned palm.

“Set a timer for ten minutes,” he told me, and I quickly fumbled to unlock my phone. As soon as the timer was set he took the phone back, tossing it back on the desk before pushing me roughly. I flailed as I fell backwards and my hands instinctively braced against the wall to steady myself. I only had a second to anticipate his next move before his lips were pressed against mine.

At first I just passively let him kiss me, but he soon caught on to that. A hand gripped my hip and pulled me towards him firmly.

“If you’re not going to honour the spirit of the bargain...” he whispered menacingly. I raised my hands to brace myself against his chest as he crushed me closer.

“I’m sorry,” I offered contritely, “I wasn’t ready.”

He smiled that wolfish smile of his and bent down again.

“Don’t worry, sweet Jin.”

This time I returned his kiss, parting my lips to welcome the gentle sweep of his tongue. As soon as I complied he released the hold on my hip, and I let the distance between our bodies widen again.

Much like last night, Gabriel let his hands roam my body as we kissed. I tried not to react to his caresses, but occasionally his fingers would brush against a sensitive spot and I would make the tiniest gasps. I knew he was remembering them because he paid them extra attention.

Gabriel stepped closer and gently nudged my knees apart. I tried to protest as he pressed against me, but he grabbed both of my hands and wound his fingers through mine. He broke the kiss long enough to whisper,

“No hands, no foul.” And then he was kissing me deeply again. I had already felt the stirring in my groin, and the added pressure of Gabriel pressing into me was causing a sudden rush of blood to the area. My legs went weak beneath me as Gabriel turned us around, walking me backwards on unsteady legs until the backs of my knees hit the mattress.

He picked me up and threw me onto the bed, and as Gabriel climbed on top of me I reached up automatically and pulled him down by the neck.

I kissed him deeply as I ran my hands through his still-damp hair. He had straddled me and was braced on one arm while the other caressed my face gently. This new position, while much more comfortable, unfortunately meant that there was no longer a warm pressure on my growing erection. Unconsciously I bent my knee, raising my hips to seek the missing friction.

Gabriel instantly responded, grinding down and shifting to kiss down my throat.

I was left breathless as feather light kisses burnt a trail over my exposed collarbone. The soft caresses turned teasing as he sat back, reaching out to stroke me with both hands. I gasped softly as he thumbed my nipple through my shirt, and he chuckled at my expression.

“That’s-“ I tried to bat his hands away, “Not kissing,” I chastised. But instead of stopping, he leant down to capture my lips once more. This time, he gently rolled my nipple as he kissed me, and I felt him smile against my lips as I gave another tiny gasp.

His other hand was dragging across my chest, and as his fingers trailed over a particularly sensitive spot I reacted by arching my back. In a single moment, I had pressed my aching cock between us, and I felt it twitch against his groin. To my intense embarrassment, I actually moaned. The hand that had caused the wanton action was sliding down my stomach, and while I registered that Gabriel was about to break the rules I felt no motivation to stop him.

His fingers trailed over my waistband, and the second I felt their gentle pressure brush against my erection the alarm rang shrilly.

We both jumped, and to my intense relief Gabriel immediately stopped. I was able to wriggle out from under him, and by the time I had shut off the alarm he was already on his feet. We locked eyes for a long moment before he swept from the room, closing the door behind him without another word.

I pulled out the chair at my desk and sank onto it, clutching my phone and feeling weak from relief.

Thank god I had imposed a time limit.

Thank god it had not been longer than 10 minutes.

I hated to admit it, but there was no denying the fact that I had lost myself the same way I had last night. I had been swept up in the pleasure and, if not for a timely interruption, who knew what I would have let him do.

Setting my alarm for the morning, I made my way back to bed. Then I crawled under the covers and let silent tears roll down my face. My resolve hadn’t been as strong as I thought it was. I felt disappointed both for not stopping, and for not wanting to stop, and I cried bitter tears for the innocence that I felt being stripped away.

#


	2. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Could you shut up!” I grabbed my pillow and lobbed it at him, but my aim was terrible and it sailed harmlessly over his head. “You’re not helping.” 
> 
> “I’m not trying to help." 
> 
> Gabriel has started to unravel Jin's life, and he requests that the deal be placed on hold for one day.

**Day Two: the deal is altered** (Tuesday)

It had taken me hours to calm down; my tears had stopped but I felt anxious and panicky. I got up to switch off the light, hesitating at the door for a moment. There were no locks on the bedroom doors, would I be safe tonight? I looked around the room quickly for something I could bar the door with, but I didn’t think anything would work. I’d have to give it some thought for the future.

In the end I just crawled back under the covers hoping that when sleep did finally come it would be dreamless.

When my alarm went off I reached out a tired hand to slap at the screen. Blearily I rolled over onto my back and rubbed at my eyes. It had not been a restful night.

The knowledge that I would once again have to face the test tonight filled my stomach with a leaden feeling. The one benefit of waking up feeling so utterly depleted was that at least I didn’t have an erection to deal with. _Small miracles,_ I thought as I rolled out of bed and wandered to the bathroom to wash my face. I had just finished brushing my teeth when Gabriel’s bedroom door opened. I paused for a second, watching him through the mirror as he entered the bathroom behind me.

“Morning,” he yawned, brushing past me and heading for the toilet. I quickly spat out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth as he shut the door behind him. I returned to my room, changing into my uniform at breakneck speed and fled downstairs to grab breakfast.

The kitchen was cold and empty. My mother must have got home particularly late last night. There was an envelope addressed to me stuck to the fridge, and I tore it open to investigate. Inside there was money and a note asking me to purchase a train pass for Gabriel. I pocketed the cash and scrunched up the note, tossing it into the bin across the kitchen. I pushed the opened orange juice aside and, reaching for the unopened one at the back I poured myself a drink, leaning against the counter while I waited for the demon to reappear.

I didn’t have to wait long.

“Morning,” I greeted him. He had changed as well and I couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in our school’s crisp white shirt and tie. I pointed to the fridge.

“There’s orange juice in the fridge, just-” I blushed and moved closer as he opened the door and reached for the half-empty bottle. “Not that one,” I said quietly, handing him the new one.

He shrugged and took it, twisting off the lid and drinking from the bottle. I watch him impassively but my mind was playing over every complement I’d heard people pay him about his manners. If he didn’t become an actor in the future it would be a genuine waste of his talent.

He lowered the bottle and for a moment we just stared at each other. Then, he offered me the bottle and I huffed in annoyance.

 “No thanks,” I said, turning to leave.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged, returning the bottle to the fridge before looking blearily around the empty kitchen.

 “Hungry.” He said, and I almost laughed out loud at the expression he was making. _Was he even awake?_

“I’m stopping at the bakery on the way to school.”

We returned upstairs to collect our bags. I stuffed my phone and wallet back into mine, along with my dreaded English workbook. God I hated Tuesdays.

Gabriel was already waiting for me by the stairs.

“That was quick. Did you get the right books?” it would be a pain to have to share my book with him if he forgot one, but he waved a hand dismissively at me as he yawned.

“Got them-“ he covered his mouth with the back of his hand and yawned wide, “Last night.”

I stiffened at his mention of last night, marching towards the stairs without responding.

We walked to the station in silence, and for the first time I had the opportunity to examine Gabriel with his guard down. He was walking slowly, expressionless and completely unreadable. Once, I stopped at a crossing but he had continued to step out into the street. I had to grab his jacket to pull him back to avoid a bicyclist, but he didn’t seem to notice. Gabriel was clearly not a morning person.

I bought the demon his train pass and we boarded without incident. Gabriel started to wake up as we sped through the suburbs, and I was on my guard once more.

We headed straight to my favourite bakery and, because we were running so early, I suggested we sit and eat breakfast in the café area. Gabriel, having caught scent of the brewing coffee, readily agree and we were soon tucked away in the corner with our pastries and hot coffee.

To my surprise Gabriel had been perfectly pleasant so far. He loved the melon bun I hadn’t been able to talk him out of, and was polite to the owner when she brought our coffees. I was suspicious, but it seemed genuine. Perhaps he was just still half-asleep and the Asshole Gabriel would wake up later?

Once we had finished, I paid for Hiro’s yakisoba bun and coffee before we started to climb the hill to school.

Gabriel had questioned my takeaway purchases and I grudgingly admitted they were for Hiro. This made him smirk, hands thrust in his pockets as he sauntered up the steep hill. _So the asshole is finally awake._

I was annoyed that Gabriel was intruding on what I had come to think of as my own private ritual with Hiro. Even when we had shared a class with Takuya we had been alone in the mornings, as Takuya had soccer club activities before school. Recognizing there was little I could do about it, I squared my shoulders and marched into the classroom. I spotted Hiro right away, snoozing on his desk in the corner, but as soon as Gabriel walked in behind me I realised I had worried over nothing.

The few girls already present pounced on Gabriel as soon as he appeared, and I was left in peace to wake sleeping beauty with his gifts of food and caffeine.

“Morning, Hiro. Pick a hand.”

Hiro rested his head in his hand and smiled sleepily at me.

“R-right,” he yawned, and I placed his prize on the desk. “Thanks, Jin.”

He said thank you every day, but this time it felt a little more meaningful.

“You know I’ll repay you one day, right?” he said, his hand hovering over the wrapped bread.

“I know,” I replied, “once you graduate from T University at the top of your class. You’ll be a flashy attorney, and I’ll just be a lowly company drone.”

My self-deprecating humour had broken his serious mood and so he tore into the bread hungrily.

“Fanks, Jin,” he said with his mouth full. Swallowing and cracking open the can he added, “You’re my favourite friend.”

I smiled, but it was forced. Fortunately Gabriel had just escaped from his fan club and distracted Hiro’s as he sat down with us.

“So what are we talking about?” he asked casually, and while Hiro answered him I glared. I knew he had heard.

“I was just saying that Jin’s the best ever. Did you know he brings me breakfast every single day?” Hiro turned to smile at me fondly while Gabriel mimed a gagging face.

“Really?” Gabriel said with false sincerity. “Wow, what a guy.”

I kicked him hard in the shin and smirked when his knee banged against the table.Hiro had finished his breakfast in record time and was balling up the plastic wrap.

“I’m gonna go wash my face before class starts,” he said, tilting his head back as he downed the last of the coffee. My eyes were fixed on the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallowed when I felt a return kick to the shin.

“Back in a sec!” Hiro called brightly as he threw his trash in the bin from three meters away, earning a round of applause from the girls. We both watched him silently as he took a bow for his audience, and as soon as he was gone the girls dissolved into giggles. Gabriel took in the scene silently and then turned to me with a serious look.

“Ok, some advice,” he said, and I turned to him with the most bored, unaffected look I could muster. “First, don’t kick me under the goddamn table. If you’ve bruised my beautiful body I’ll make you pay.”

I rolled my eyes at him and slumped forward on the desk.

“Second, stop staring at your friend’s neck like you want to bite it.”

I shot up again and made shushing noises, but even I could tell no one was paying attention to us as he continued.

“It’s creepy and someone’s going to notice.” He wrinkled his nose at me and I pulled a face at him.

“I thought you were Team Just-tell-him,” I said, leaning on the desk again and resting my cheek against the wood. It was still warm.

“Yeah, well, maybe I changed my mind,” Gabriel said distractedly. I looked up at him without raising my head.

“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Because I know gay, and that boy is not,” he said flatly, and I felt my stomach drop. To be perfectly honest, I thought the same, but I wasn’t about to admit that to Gabriel.

“You don’t know Hiro at all,” I said hotly, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Struck a nerve, have I?” I refused to look at him and he huffed in annoyance. “We’ll see then.”

I had a sinking feeling that he was up to something.

#

For the entire morning, the foreboding sense that Gabriel was hatching a plan distracted me. With everything going on I had completely forgotten that it was my day to be called on for English. It was a very unpleasant surprise and, as I was unprepared for my readings, I was hesitant and made silly mistakes. On any other day I would just brush my failures off, but somehow, failing in front of Gabriel was extra frustrating.

My mood hit a new low when the teacher called on Gabriel after me, who of course could read the passages perfectly (and who even read one of them in a British accent for a laugh).

Finally, it was lunchtime and I was ready to escape. Our group usually met on the rooftop to eat together, Mondays being the only exception. Hiro, Gabriel, and I made our way to the bread shop ladies to purchase our lunches and, laden with an assortment of calorific breads, we headed up the stairs.

We were the first to arrive and settled down in our usual spot. Gabriel was transfixed by the view and I had to tell him to stop acting like a kid and eat his lunch.

“Schools don’t usually have roof access in Australia,” he told us, which we both found weird.

“Technically we’re not supposed to access it either, but...” I shrugged as I trailed off.

“Jin, you little rebel.”

I blushed and took a sip of my drink awkwardly. I had just started to relax when Gabriel spoke up again.

“About Inoue-san,” he began, and we both looked at him expectantly. Gabriel had stopped eating, and his eyes were downcast. To the untrained observer he looked deep in thought. To my newly educated eyes he looked like he was about to fuck things up.

I swallowed my mouthful first and asked, “What about her?”

Gabriel looked up earnestly and glanced between us, holding eye contact as he continued.

“Well she’s really pretty, isn’t she? Definitely the best looking girl in our class.”

Hiro was nodding and after swallowing a bite he added, “Yeah, definitely.”

This didn’t bode well.

“Do you like Inoue-san?” I asked point-blank. I knew the real answer of course. How _could_ he like her? He’d only met her yesterday. So far he’d spent more time with his reflection in my bathroom mirror than he’d spent talking to Inoue.  But he was clearly up to something, and with a sinking feeling in my stomach I realised what it was when I noticed Hiro’s eyes flick towards Gabriel and then back down again.

Gabriel laughed good naturedly. “I think I missed my chance,” he continued, and I could see Hiro’s grip on his drink tighten until his knuckles turned white, “she’s not just pretty, she’s nice too, and smart. But she already has someone she likes.”

I felt like I was losing control. Gabriel’s face was swimming in and out of focus. From my right I heard Hiro ask what made him think she liked someone already.

“Oh,” Gabriel smiled, “because when I asked her out during the break she said she’s already seeing someone.”

There could only be one reason for this. In silent horror I turned and the look on Hiro’s face confirmed my nightmare was true.

“You’re dating Inoue-san,” I stated flatly, and Hiro’s pale face was quickly turning red as a blush stained his cheeks.

“It’s supposed to be a secret,” he said quietly. “I…asked her out during the winter break,” he confessed, and I forced myself to smile and congratulate him.

Gabriel, a true craftsman, continued to ham it up.

“Oh my god, Hiroki I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed, and Hiro graciously forgave him.

“You couldn’t have known, we were keeping it a secret after all.”

“Why?” I asked sharply before forcing myself to take a breath and calm down. “I mean, why hide it?” I tried again, and Hiro took a swig of his drink. He looked much more relaxed now that the initial shock was over. In fact, it almost looked like he was enjoying the attention.

“It was her idea; she said her friend has a crush on me,” he explained sheepishly. “We decided not to tell anyone to avoid hurting her feelings.”

I tried not to let my emotions show. Inoue’s friend wasn’t the only one who’s feelings were protected by the secret.

“See, Inoue-san _is_ nice!” Gabriel said, and punched me playfully on the arm. “Isn’t Hiroki lucky?” He asked me, and with murder in my eyes I fixed him with a stare.

“The luckiest.”

#

The rest of the day was a blur for me. The remainder of our group had turned up soon after Gabriel’s little stunt but Hiro had asked us to keep the secret for him a bit longer. I had been so silent for the rest of lunch that everyone had become concerned that I was ill, although it ended up working in my favour as, instead of hanging out after school, there was no opposition for me to head straight home.

“Make him get some rest!” Saki called out as they waved us off at the school gate.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him!” Gabriel called back as he linked arms with me and marched us down the hill. “Just lean on me, Jin,” Gabriel said loudly for the benefit of nearby students. “I’ll get you home safely.”

 “I’m going to kill you,” I murmured under my breath, and he laughed as I stumbled over a loose stone in the road. “I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

“Sweet little Jin,” he chastised playfully, “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.” His grip was firm and I gave up trying to wrestle my arm free.

We managed to make it home without too much incident, although I had brought my foot down hard on his when I had felt a hand creeping across my lower back on the crowded train. Of course, there was no evidence that it had been _Gabriel’s_ hand, but after stamping on his foot the offending limb had quickly been removed.

My mother had finally been home, although she seemed to be out again. There were wrapped dishes in the fridge for dinner and after school snacks. I grabbed a pudding and a bottle of iced tea and stomped up to my room.

To my annoyance, although not my surprise, Gabriel followed me.

“Jiiiin,” he called plaintively as he pushed through the door I was vainly trying to close behind me. “Something _awful_ happened at school today.”

He dropped to the floor, placing his own snacks on the table and sliding forward like he was melting until his fingertips reached the other side. I sighed and sat down on the side next to the bed to avoid touching his outstretched hands as I resolved to ignore him. He continued happily without prompting.

“I saw a really pretty girl this morning, Jin, and I thought ‘ _wow, I’d sure like to fuck her brains out, I wonder if she’ll go out with me’_.”

His playful tone had faded, and he was now looking up at me with serious eyes.

“I was talking to her and her friends, but I noticed she kept glancing at a certain idiot for some reason,” he continued, slowly sliding his arms back across the table as he sat up again. I narrowed my eyes but refused to rise to his bait. “So naturally, I asked if I could speak to her alone.”

I was sitting still with my fists clenched in my lap. I could see how it had all played out, but he continued to give me the blow-by-blow, each word another arrow in my heart. He twisted the top off his iced tea and paused to drink deeply.

“Wow, storytelling is thirsty work. Now where was I?” I shut my eyes, refusing to play into his game. “Oh yeah, I asked her out.”

He was waiting for a reaction from me, and I was too petty not to give it. I opened my eyes to look at him and he grinned at me.

“And she turned you down.” I said coldly, reaching for my own bottle and taking a swig.

“But only because,” Gabriel corrected, and here he clasped his hands together and batted his eyelashes prettily as he mimicked Inoue’s breathy voice, “I’m sorry, but I’m already dating someone.”

I stared at him with a neutral face and he puckered up his lips at me.

“You look ridiculous,” I said, but I felt a smile pull at the corners of my mouth in spite of myself.

He dropped the act and for a moment he actually affected a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry, Jin,” he said, and I glanced at him in surprise. For one moment, it had sounded like he actually meant it. “I’m sorry your crush doesn’t like the dick. But at least you have me, right?” he finished cheerfully.

I picked up my pudding and chucked it at his head.

“Ow,” he said, laughing as he picked it up. “Good thing you hadn’t opened this or it would have gone everywhere.”

I leant back against my bed, letting my head drop onto the mattress.

“I knew that it was a long shot,” I said wistfully.

“The longest shot,” Gabriel added, not looking up from the pudding he was opening.

“I knew he was straight.”

“The straightest, like a ruler. Like holy shit the only dick that doesn’t scare that boy is his own.”

“Could you shut up!” I grabbed my pillow and lobbed it at him, but my aim was terrible and it sailed harmlessly over his head. “You’re not helping,” I said sadly, wrapping my arms around my drawn up knees and hiding my face behind them.

“I’m not trying to help. Here, open up.” I felt something wet and wobbly touch my cheek.

“Not this again,” I mumbled, but I turned my face towards him. The spoonful of pudding pressed against my lips and I obediently allowed him to feed me.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

I raised my face, resting my head on my knees as he loaded up another spoonful.

“You’re the weirdest person,” I told him, right before he held another spoonful to my lips. I opened my mouth and ate the pudding, pulling at the spoon with my tongue to lick it clean.

“I don’t care what you think,” he replied with a shrug, eating a spoonful of the pudding himself.

The scary thing was, I knew that he was telling the truth. Gabriel truly didn’t care what anyone thought, and I was pretty sure he lacked any kind of social conscience. He was blowing through life exactly how he pleased, regardless of the consequences to him or anyone else.

We finished both the puddings. Gabriel continued to feed me alternating bites, and he only asked me to lick the spoon once. When he did I had called him a pervert and pushed his shoulder playfully; for a few minutes the atmosphere had been almost friendly.

#

The afternoon wore on. We eventually decided we should get out of the house and do something. There was a nature park nearby that I liked to visit and Gabriel graciously conceded that “it would do”. I grabbed the nearly empty bread packet from the kitchen and we headed to the park to feed the birds.

Considering how devastating my day had been, it was a surprisingly pleasant afternoon. At the back of my mind I knew I was being protected from an avalanche of feelings by shock, and that sooner or later the realisation that my great love was lost to me forever would sink in. But for now I was content, breaking stale bread into crumbs and throwing it for the pigeons.

Gabriel’s mood had lightened considerably, and he was acting almost normal. Normal being a relative term, in this case meaning he had stopped trying to touch me inappropriately. Even though it was a weekday afternoon, the park was surprisingly busy. I put it down to the sakura still being in bloom. Although the peak was over, I actually preferred them this way. I loved it when the park was blanketed in a carpet of soft pink; there was no sight more beautiful to me than that of a gentle gust of wind scattering petals everywhere.

I was apparently feeding the pigeons too slowly, because Gabriel snatched the bag of crumbs from me, upending them all at once at his feet and chortling in delight as the birds swarmed him. I hung back, shaking my head at his idiotic display and wondering how he even coped in the real world.

I decided to leave him to his new minions and walked over to my favourite spot. There was a hill that held a view of the entire park, and I climbed the lawn slowly as I gazed around at the beautiful scenery. It seemed cruel that the world could be so beautiful even when my heart was broken in two.

I had just reached the top when Gabriel came racing up behind me. He fell to the ground dramatically causing petals to flutter up around him as he lay with his eyes closed.

“You’re ruining the mood.” I nudged him with my foot as I sat down next to him. He opened one eye, stuck out his tongue, and then went back to ignoring me. I scooped up a handful of petals and starting scattering them absently one by one, watching each one as it fluttered and fell to the ground.

“Gabriel,” I said tentatively, and he craned his neck to look up at me.

I threw another sakura petal.

“Can I request a halt on the deal for one day?”

I wasn’t even really thinking about what I was saying. The thought had entered my head that I was expected to kiss Gabriel today and it was leaving me feeling cold dread. The only thing that had been my anchor was my firm belief that true love and sex were inseparable. I knew that I was enjoying kissing Gabriel far too much, and if I kissed him tonight in my current emotional state I was sure that I was going to have regrets in the morning. I continued with my mission to redistribute the petals. Some of them came to rest on Gabriel.

He rolled onto his stomach to see me better as I continued to decorate him with petals.

“If you get something I should get something in return,” he countered, his legs scissoring playfully as he watched me closely.

“What do you want then?” I asked in a listless voice. I was already so tired of playing his games.

He was silent for so long I felt compelled to look at him. To my surprise he appeared to be thinking seriously about it. I held the remaining petals over his head and opened my hand, watching dispassionately as it snowed around him. The petals settled in his hair and on his face, giving him a look of childish innocence.

“I want all of your firsts,” he said suddenly, and it took a moment for me to react. I was still holding my hand over his head and I dropped it abruptly to my side.  

“What exactly does that mean?” I asked cautiously, although I had a sinking feeling I knew.  

“Pretty much what it sounds like,” he said, leaning on his elbows to ruffle his hair free of the petals.

I considered his offer impassively. All of my firsts. He had already had my first kiss so did it really matter? How many firsts were there anyway?

I looked back at him. There was a strange gleam in his eye that I didn’t like the look of. It was the look of a madman formulating a plan. It meant regret lay in my future—but better delayed then immediate.

“Fine, but only one first a day,” I said as I reached out to brush the last petal from his hair.

He pushed himself to his knees and regarded me seriously for a moment.

“How do we decide which goes first?” He asked, and I tried to think about it. But honestly, I wasn’t even sure what he had in mind.

“Least to most epic? Alphabetical? The order you did…” I trailed off, my mind suddenly conjuring up an image of Gabriel making out with someone else, him touching them, them touching him.

I could see Gabriel had latched on to that last idea.

“Let’s shake on it.” He offered his hand, and I leaned forward to take it. “We agree to halt our current deal for today,” he said as we clasped hands, “and in return I get one of your firsts.” He finished, and we shook firmly once.

#

Being free of the deal for the day lifted my spirits a little, and I actually enjoyed chatting with Gabriel as we picked ourselves up and returned to the house.

My parents were still absent, but that was nothing new. We ate dinner in the kitchen straight from the fridge, and although Gabriel still offered to hand feed me, he didn’t press the issue when I refused. It was pleasant being with him when I wasn’t worried he was going to molest me, and I found myself wishing that it could always be this way. I was surprised that after everything that had happened I could think of him as a friend.

I had offered to draw the bath and Gabriel had said he didn’t mind if I went first, so I left him in the living room watching TV as I collected my things and headed to the bathroom. I returned to find him leaning on the low table, completely absorbed in a drama, and when I told him the bath was free he said he’d take one once his show finished.

“You can empty the bath when you’re finished; I doubt anyone will be home tonight,” I said, coming to stand next to him as I dried my hair with a towel. He tilted his head up to look at me, and for a moment I saw myself reflected in his eyes.

His arm resting on the table twitched, and for a moment I thought he was going to get up, but in the end all he said was,

“Goodnight. Sweet, heart-broken Jin.”

I fled to my room without replying, but I felt his eyes on me as I left the room.

Mercifully, sleep came quick for me, and I slept the dreamless sleep of the emotionally numb.

#


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a struggle as Gabriel pushed back the table to climb on top of me. He teased me by tracing his fingers gently across my tightly closed lips. 
> 
> “Lick my fingers clean, Jin, or the deal’s off.”
> 
> The power-play continues. Jin tries to keep up as Gabriel keeps changing the rules.

**Day Three:  Jin has a plan** (Wednesday)

I woke with a start when something tickled my nose. I brushed at my face and my fingers slid against a silky smooth texture. Sitting up in shock, I realised that somebody had scattered my entire bed in sakura petals. Groaning, I grabbed my phone, pressing the home button to check the time.

I squinted at the bright screen, slowly letting my eyes adjust to the glare. The first thing I noticed was that it was still stupidly early. That idiot Gabriel must have wandered the park at midnight to bring back the petals and assault me with them. There were other words on the screen, and I struggled to bring the smaller text into focus. I was suddenly fully awake as I realised what it was: a message from Hiro. I had forgotten to send him his breakfast request!

I quickly opened his message, scanning the brief sentence for any hint that he was suspicious about my sudden radio silence after yesterday’s events. But apparently, he had put my mistake down to my being unwell because all he’d said was that he hoped I would be feeling better today.

I let my phone slip through my hands, sinking back down onto my bed of flower petals.

 _Hiro,_ _you are such a dense idiot._

I gathered up the petals in my blanket, carrying the bundle to the window and shaking them loose in a flurry that resembled snow.

I figured there was no way I was going to get back to sleep, so I got up and padded down to the kitchen. Now that I had time, I thought I’d make breakfast. I tiptoed to the far end of the house, where my parents slept. Sliding the door open a crack I peeked in, but even in the gloom it was obvious the room was empty. Oh well, at least I didn’t have to be quiet.

It was nearly an hour later when I had finished preparing a breakfast fit for a king. I had set the table with two servings of everything, my presentation immaculate. I stood back to admire my handiwork for a bit before returning upstairs to invite my personal live-in demon down for breakfast.

I had been standing outside the door for a long minute before I had the courage to peek inside. The narrow sliver of light fell across Gabriel’s sleeping form and I took a deep breath as I entered his lair.

“Good morning~” I called softly as I padded up to the bed. He had pulled the covers over his head and I reached out to tentatively poke at what I hoped was his shoulder.

“Oi~ wake up~” I called a little louder, recalling that he had proven not to be a morning person. Silence. It suddenly occurred to me that I might be more successful if I tried this tactic with coffee, and I returned to the kitchen. I quickly flicked the machine on, measuring out the ground coffee and filling the pot at the sink. I removed the apron I had forgotten I was still wearing while the coffee brewed.

When I returned bearing coffee I walked straight up to the bed, gently pulling back the covers to reveal his sleeping face.

“Wake up~,” I called, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve brought coffee!” An inarticulate groan was my only immediate reply, but I wasn’t giving up.

“Come on, hot fresh coffee!” I cajoled, wafting the fragrant steam towards him as I placed the mug on the bedside table. “I even made you breakfast, you ungrateful cur. Get up.”

I bounced on the bed to illustrate my point, and he finally propped himself up to look at me blearily.

“Whatimeisit?” he mumbled. I cheerfully told him it was 5.30am and that I’d been up for hours. “Uugh!” he moaned, dropping face-first back on to his pillow. “Wake me in 2 hours.”

“Not a chance!” I bounced again until he groaned and begged me to stop.

“Alright, I’ll get up, meet you downstairs.”

“I don’t believe you,” I told him, jumping to my feet and crossing my arms. “You’ll just go back to sleep if I leave.”

A wicked smile spread across his face, and he slowly stretched out an arm to reach for the coffee mug. I watched him as he blew on the hot liquid, taking an experimental sip.

“Ahhh,” he moaned in delight and took a second, larger gulp. His eyes returned to me as I waited expectantly for him to get up. “I sleep naked, y’know.”

I felt my face flood with colour and I quickly spun on the spot, marching out of the room.

“Hurry up it’s getting cold!” I shouted, pulling the door shut with a bang.

My momentary embarrassment had faded in the face of the delicious breakfast I had prepared, and I was feeling much happier by the time a (thankfully fully-dressed) Gabriel wandered in with an empty coffee cup, demanding a refill.

We managed to spend the time pleasantly, and I was intrigued that Gabriel really was just easier to deal with before he was truly awake. He even helped with the dishes when I asked him to, although the quality of his help was negligible, and I soon shooed him away.

We met my mother at the front door just as we were leaving for school, and Gabriel thanked her politely for our dinner last night while I stood awkwardly by. Even from a distance I caught a whiff of stale cigar smoke and I felt embarrassed by her apparent lack of shame we had just caught her slinking home at daybreak. She accepted his thanks graciously, which was at odds with her rumpled day-old clothes and smudged makeup. I told her there was leftover breakfast in the fridge before I hurried us away.

“I’m sorry about my parents.”

Gabriel shrugged like we hadn’t just caught my mother doing the Walk of Shame.

“You don’t have to apologise. My parents are shitty too.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I fell silent again. As we crossed a waterway I noticed the carpet of sakura on the water and suddenly remembered.

“What was with the petals this morning?” I asked, and he laughed out loud. 

“Payback. For the flower shower yesterday.”

Yesterday. On the hill.

We had altered the deal.

My footsteps slowed as my mind turned over exactly what kind of trap I might have unintentionally set for myself.

We skipped the bakery this morning; I had cooked for Hiro too. The look on his face when I presented him with a home-cooked breakfast was precious, but the moment was ruined when Gabriel made the observation,

“Pity it was cooked by a guy,”

Hiro had laughed and said that didn’t make it any less delicious, but it was too late to salvage. I glared at Gabriel until our teacher arrived.

#

It was hard watching Hiro now that I knew about Inoue. He had always had a habit of resting his chin on his hand and staring out the window, but now that I knew his secret I could see that by leaning towards the window, he had a clear view past the student in front of him to Inoue’s desk. It occurred to me that Inoue was the reason Hiro had begged for that seat in the first place, and I felt stupid for not noticing sooner.

When Gabriel and I found out I had wondered if Hiro would tell his secret to the whole group, and I had been surprised when he’d asked us both to keep it quiet from the others. It was Inoue’s wish that no one else knew and he wanted to honour that.

I didn’t want to hang out after school but I knew that if I kept avoiding my friends it would raise suspicions. Plus, the longer I delayed going home, the less alone time I had to spend with Gabriel. Someone had mentioned that we hadn’t done karaoke in an age, and the idea caught on fast. Takuya excused himself, on the grounds that he needed to go to soccer training. He’d told us his coach had suggested he aim for a scholarship, and he had taken it more seriously lately. The rest of us were soon squashed into our own room, laughing and fighting over the remote.

To my great annoyance, Gabriel turned out to have a good voice. Of course he did. I was starting to think that he had traded his soul for human perfection. In a way though, I was glad he was stealing all of the attention, because it made it easier for me to sit back and nurse my broken heart.

In the end we only stayed for the hour, because Hiro wanted to head home to study. But singing had given the rest of us an appetite and we collectively decided to stop for burgers.

I was surprised when we took our seats and Saki elbowed me out of the way, sliding into the booth next to Gabriel. At first I was happy enough to sit away from him. I could eat in peace without Gabriel asking me to lick the ketchup from his fingers or whatever other perverted thing he came up with. Despite my relief, it niggled at me when Saki casually brushed against him. He was paying attention to her too, turned towards her and listening patiently. It was kind of disgusting and I felt sorry that Saki was being drawn in by his act. Couldn’t she see he didn’t give a shit about her manicure?

From across the table Miya was trying to insert herself into their conversation, and it was kind of pathetic to watch them compete for his attention. I joined in every now and then, but mostly I just ate my fries and thought about what might be waiting for me tonight.

#

We ended up staying out later than usual. After eating we had window-shopped. Gabriel let the girls drag us into store after store while they tried on clothes. Accompanying them hadn’t been so bad, although it was boring as hell. It was when both Miya and Saki were in the dressing rooms that was the real problem. My reprieve since we halted the deal was clearly over and, any time he could get away with it, Gabriel was slyly touching me. When I first felt a hand slide around my waist and come to rest on my hip I had actually felt a moment of triumph. After all Saki’s flirting and shoving her boobs in his face, Gabriel was still feeling me up! I had immediately realised that this was the most absurd thing to be excited about. Didn’t I _want_ Gabriel to leave me alone?

I had twisted away from him, angry with myself, and spent the next hour dodging his casual touches.

It was already dark by the time we went our separate ways at the station. I watched Saki and Miya disappear towards the platform that would take them back to my old neighbourhood and felt a wave of nostalgia for the past. Life had been simpler back then. I knew I’d grown up privileged, but at that time we had felt more like a normal family. We had eaten our meals together every night; my father might have been late coming home, but my mother and sister had always been there. And we were happy together, really smiling and actually caring how everyone’s day had been. Everything had changed when we’d moved back into my father’s family home. He’d been promoted around the same time as my grandmother had passed away and we all started to drift apart. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t spoken to my sister since New Years, and I felt a guilty feeling settle in my stomach.

I shook it off after a moment; there was no point in lamenting the past. Things had changed now, and we would all just have to make the most of it.

Gabriel had been leading us towards our platform but I took over as I tried to block out my depressing thoughts. It was just crowded enough that Gabriel could justify pressing into me as we waited for the train to arrive. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I ignored him until he blew in my ear.

“Stop it.” I brushed him away impatiently and he grinned, ducking out of the way but returning as soon as I dropped my hand.

“I’m bored,” he whined, and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re such a child,” I complained, and he rubbed his chin on my shoulder as he nodded his agreement. The train arrived a moment later and soon we were packed shoulder to shoulder. As the doors closed again I felt Gabriel reach out and wind his fingers through mine before I could retract my hand.

“Let go,” I told him quietly, refusing to look at him or hold his hand in return. Instead, I stretched and flexed my hand to try and pull it away from him.

“No,” he replied, and squeezed my hand tightly until I couldn’t help but cry out.

Several people turned to look at me and I stopped struggling. Gabriel immediately relaxed his titan hold but refused to let go entirely. I sighed and gave up, letting my fingers curl around Gabriel’s hand. It was a stark reminder of just how much stronger than me he really was, and I tried not to think about what fresh horrors our deal might bring tonight.

#

Surprisingly, my mother was actually home when we arrived, sitting at the table in the living room and pretending to watch TV. She told us there was food in the fridge if we were hungry before she asked Gabriel how he was enjoying himself so far at school. I excused myself to get a drink; I didn’t want to listen to Gabriel turn his charms on my mother.

It didn’t take long for him to show up in the kitchen though. I was leaning against the counter as I drank iced tea straight from the bottle and he jumped up to sit on the counter opposite me.

“Your ma’s going out again soon,” he said. He was swinging his feet in small circles, and it occurred to me that Gabriel was always moving, always fidgeting in some small way. I wondered if there was a short circuit in his brain.

“That’s not unusual,” was all I said, taking another swig of tea. I held up the bottle to offer him some, and Gabriel held out his hand like he expected me to bring it to him. Instead, I screwed the lid back on and threw it underhanded to him. He caught it easily.

“You old man hasn’t been home in a while, has he?” he took a swig, tipping the bottle up and maintaining eye contact, like some kind of predator. I swallowed nervously.

“Not for a while,” I agreed. “He goes away a lot for work.” Gabriel put the lid on and threw it back. I fumbled the catch and he grinned. “No fair, you threw it harder than I did,” I complained. Then I quickly took my drink before hurling it back at him.

I had aimed right for his face but it seemed he had anticipated my move, because he caught it just before it hit his nose.

“Petty, aren’t you?” He taunted before draining the bottle and throwing it in the trash. I felt a wave of annoyance that he could read me so easily.

A car horn beeped outside and I heard my mother call out that she was leaving. I turned my head to call back but decided not to answer her at the last minute. We listened silently to the sounds of the front door opening and closing, and then a car revving and driving away.

“Bye ma,” I said softly to myself. Gabriel let his heels fall against the cupboard with a dull _thunk_ and I looked up at him. He was staring at me with an unreadable expression.

“Let’s watch a movie or something,” I announced suddenly, and he immediately perked up. I raided the kitchen for more drinks and snacks as we traded movie suggestions back and forth. Eventually, armed with chips and more iced tea we returned to my room.

Gabriel had won the movie battle and went to retrieve his laptop while I dumped the supplies on the table. We sat side by side leaning back against my bed as Gabriel loaded what he assured me was a much better movie than any of my paltry suggestions. He settled in next to me as I tossed the packet of chips into his lap. Tearing it open immediately he ate one before holding out the next chip for me. I leant forward to take it with my teeth and he laughed.

“Nice to see you’re getting used to it.”

I rolled my eyes at him, but continued to let him feed me. Everything was fine until we got to the end of the bag. He crumpled it up and threw it on the table before turning to me.

“Jiiin~,” he whined, holding his fingers out to me.

“Shh. I’m watching the movie.” I refused to look at him as he shuffled closer.

“But my fingers are all salty.” He was outright ignoring the movie now as he tried to touch my lips. I ducked out of the way but he was persistent. “Lick it off,” he commanded, and I narrowed my eyes as I failed to ignore him.

“No.”

There was a struggle as Gabriel pushed the table back so that he could climb on top of me. With his knees pinning my legs together and his left arm braced against the bed I was effectively trapped. He teased me by tracing his fingers gently across my tightly closed lips.

“Lick my fingers clean, Jin, or the deal’s off.” I glared at him, the sound of the movie continued in the background but he was completely blocking my view.

“What?” I asked exasperatedly. Belatedly, I thought that I had made a mistake, that by opening my mouth I had lost. But instead of shoving his fingers in Gabriel had moved them out of the way. He was back to playing his power game. He wanted to see me give in.

“Like we agreed: yesterday the deal was on hold. Today you will lick my fingers, and enjoy it.”

Suddenly a wicked gleam was in his eyes. “Unless that’s not a first for you.” He continued to poke my lips with the tip of his finger. “Hmm?”

I had been wondering how I might beat him at his own game, and while my first idea had been to just run away and hide forever, I couldn’t help the intrusive thought that maybe to beat him I would have to start playing it his way.

Slowly I licked the salt from my lips. We were close enough that I could hear his slight intake of breath. I was amazed that I could affect him like that, and as eyes dropped to the hand waiting expectantly before me, I wondered what else I might be able to do.

I reached up to take hold of his hand, eyes darting up to catch his expression as I hesitated.

“Yes, master,” I said. “It’s a first.” I maintained eye contact as I licked a broad stroke of my tongue along one finger. I continued to lick at his fingers, my confidence growing when Gabriel shuddered in delight. I turned his hand as I ran my tongue around his fingertips. My plan seemed to be working. I kicked it up a notch, running my tongue down the join between his fingers and laving at the flesh there. Gabriel let his eyes close and I watched his face impassively for a second before I opened my mouth and took two fingers in. His mouth dropped open with a silent “o” as my tongue swirled around the digits, sucking gently until there was no trace of salt left.

I felt the thrill of my small victory; I had surprised Gabriel again. But my celebration was short lived as he pulled his hand from my hold and turned his burning eyes on me. I swallowed nervously as he lowered his lips to mine.

“Do that again,” he whispered against my mouth before he kissed me.

_This feels different._

For the first time since kissing Gabriel I felt like I was on even footing with him. No longer was I the weak one, gasping and moaning as he dominated me. Now I was pushing back, tearing little moans from his mouth and swallowing them as my tongue caressed him back.

This was how I was going to win the game. My hands had been motionless at my sides, but now I let them trail up Gabriel’s body. This was a new angle I suddenly had access to, and I realised that I had been letting the enemy advance steadily instead of trying to take some ground myself. Now that I knew what noises I could elicit with my tongue I concentrated on trying to find sensitive spots elsewhere. I tugged his shirt free from his waistband and slowly let my hands slide against the bare skin of his back.

I felt a pressure on my groin as Gabriel’s cock twitched in response. I wasn’t afraid, I had felt this before. Undeterred, my hands continued further up his back, hiking his shirt higher until I had wrapped my hands around his shoulders. I only hesitated for a second before enacting the next step. I pulled down on Gabriel’s shoulders at the same time as I bucked my hips against him.

The response I got was beyond my expectations.

Gabriel’s moan vibrated through my body, and I felt my growing erection throb in response. In a flash Gabriel had pulled me to my feet and pushed me back onto the bed. My knees buckled as I fell backwards, and he stepped between them quickly before climbing on top of me. I tried to reach up to grab his shirt, intending to pull him back down but he knocked my hands out of the way, taking hold of my shirt and ripping it open.

Buttons went flying as my chest was exposed. I was motionless for a split second before he began to lean towards me again. I managed to brace my arms against him at the last second.

“No!” I shouted, and the force of my cry caused him to wait.

“You broke the rules,” he accused, licking his lips as he stared down at me. I tried to think fast.

“We only agreed to rules about what you can do to me!” I said in a rush, and I was pleased to see him think for a moment, inclining his head as he regarded me.

“So we did,” was his only reply. We were still playing the game and it was my move.

“If we extend the rules to apply to you then I’ve still only violated it by touching under your shirt.” I countered, flushing as he punctuated my sentence by rolling his hips once, grinding the bulge in his pants against my groin. I took his point but refused to acknowledge it out loud.

“I propose that we expand the rules to allow touching under clothes only.” I said in a rush.

Worst case scenario, he ignored me and I lost. Best case? I got to keep searching for sensitive spots. I held my breath while Gabriel considered my offer. I found myself hoping he’d say yes. He had beautiful skin and I wanted to keep touching it. And if he turned out to have any weaknesses I could turn them to my advantage later.

“Deal,” he said, sliding off me and turning to stop the movie. I pulled the tattered remains of my shirt together to cover my exposed chest. I’d never had a body-image problem before, but that was before I’d seen Gabriel shirtless, and now I felt self-conscious now with my pale flesh on display.  

“The new rules take effect tonight,” he called over his shoulder. He was packing up his laptop as I scuttled back on the mattress, putting some more distance between us.

He walked out of the door before turning back to face me.

“I’ll meet you here before bed.”

In my surprise I let go of my shirt, leaning forward on all fours as I called after him,

“That’s not fair, we’ve already-“ I stopped as I realised I was exposed again and I sat back down, pulling my shirt closed.

He grinned at me and winked, “Consider it a freebie.”

I got up and furiously slammed the door closed in his smug face.

#

I removed my ruined shirt and gathered up all the loose buttons I could find, throwing it in a bin along with the rubbish from our failed movie watching adventure. I pulled a t-shirt over my head and ran a hand through my hair to straighten it before taking the bin down to empty it in the kitchen. The house downstairs was silent. I stared at the long shadows the late afternoon cast and wondered if my father was coming back at all before his next overseas trip. Not that it mattered; it wasn’t like we spent any time together at home as a family anyway.

I went to draw the bath and let my thoughts turn to tonight. The thing I was scared of the most was my mind giving in to my body. An idea had been bouncing around in the back of my head that I thought I’d try tonight.

Once the bath was ready I went back upstairs and knocked on Gabriel’s door to tell him he could bathe, and then I returned to my room to message Hiro. I couldn’t forget two days in a row or even _he_ would know something was up.

I pulled out my neglected homework while I waited for a reply. I quickly filled out the answers and flicked through my readings for history tomorrow. It wasn’t my turn to be called on, but that teacher could be unpredictable sometimes. I heard Gabriel’s door open and listened to his footsteps fade as he passed my closed door. I let go of the breath I had been holding. My plan relied on bathing second. So far, so good. I jumped as my phone buzzed to life; Hiro had finally replied.  

            - Anything Bun! Jin’s choice ^-~

I smiled wistfully at the message. Just a few days ago I would have been thrilled to receive it. I had spent hours of my life dissecting Hiro’s use of particular emojis, pretending to myself that Hiro was harbouring a deep love for me that he kept hidden much like I did.

But the illusion had been shattered. I narrowed my eyes at the message, cursing the little winking face. I decided not to reply and continued to catch up on my homework while I waited for Gabriel to come back upstairs.

I had finished and was playing on my phone when Gabriel returned. He opened my door without so much as a cursory knock to tell me the bath was free.

I shot him an annoyed look from over my phone.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” I said, dropping my eyes back to my game.

“Why?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe casually. “You doing something in here you don’t want me to see?” He grinned as I flushed in embarrassment. He had no idea how close to the mark he had hit. I jumped up to collect my clothes before pushing past him.

“Don’t touch my stuff.” I told him huffily as I headed down the stairs, but I knew that was a losing battle. He’d do whatever he liked in there. Fortunately, my plan involved not leaving him alone for too long.

My hands were shaking as I removed my clothes and placed them in the basket before entering the steamy bathroom. I washed quickly, scrubbing myself under the shower before rinsing the suds from my body. Once clean, I climbed into the bath wincing slightly at the temperature change from the much colder shower. Time to put my plan into action.

I let myself relax for a few minutes, letting the tension fall away. Closing my eyes, I slowly let my hand brush against my stomach as I reached down to stroke myself gently. My mind was already conjuring up my go-to memories of Hiro: swimming at the beach, watching the fireworks at the festival, his face shining with excitement. This was the summer I had fallen in love with Hiro; it had almost been a year since then. How many times had I done this now? I’d lost count. My cock was quickly becoming hard in my hand, and I pinched and rolled the foreskin gently between my fingers as I thought about what it would be like to do this to Hiro.

I was completely hard now. I stood and reached for the single condom I had smuggled down in my clothes. I rolled it on quickly and held it tight, sinking back into the warm bath. With both of my hands wrapped around my shaft I started a steady rhythm as I stroked myself. I bucked my hips as I pumped, letting my favourite fantasy play out: licking and kissing down Hiro’s body, teasing his cock until he was leaking and then letting him fuck my mouth. My breaths were coming in quick pants, echoing off the walls and I was biting my lip to try and stay quiet as I got closer to the edge. I tried to picture Hiro looking down at me, but suddenly it was Gabriel’s face that I could see.

It was too late to stop; I was coming and I gasped as I spilled into the condom. My hips stuttered and jerked before the tension leaked from my body. Holding myself limply, I closed my eyes for a moment as I waited for my racing heart to slow. Seeing Gabriel had been unexpected and I felt agitated that it was the second time I had thought about him while doing this. I yanked the bath’s plug, watching the water drain away before I awkwardly climbed out of the bath to clean up. I tied the condom off and with a rinse under the shower all evidence of my deception was erased.

As I dried and dressed, I tried not to think about what had just happened. It was unsettling, but it didn’t change the plan. I felt sated and relaxed; the likelihood of Gabriel being able to play me like a fiddle tonight had been significantly lowered. I smiled a grim smile of satisfaction. It was time to put it to the test.

My bedroom door was still open and Gabriel was on my bed again. He was sitting against the wall with my phone in his hands. I walked straight up to him and snatched it from him.

“I thought I sai—“ I started, but then I noticed that my messages were open. I stared down at the screen in shock.

“H-I-R-O? Really? You couldn’t think of a more secure password than--ow!” I smacked him repeatedly in the arm before he finally conceded that I was hurting him. A quick investigation confirmed that he hadn’t sent any messages; he appeared to have just been reading them.

“Get out,” I said angrily, pointing at the door.

“Now, Jin. We have an appointment,” he began in an irritatingly calm voice.

“No! You crossed a line.” I held my ground, but I could feel the control slipping away from me. He was still smiling serenely.

“Sweet Jin. Would it make you feel better if I told you I didn’t see anything I didn’t expect?” I was shaking with anger as he continued. “Although I understand your frustration. All that blatant flirting,” he shook his head in mock sadness. “Hiro really is dense, isn’t he?”

“ _Don’t. Call. Him. That.”_ I ground out, hands balled in angry fists at my sides.

He leaned forward, one arm resting on his knee as he gestured.

“Sweet little Jin. I’ll make you feel better.” He spread his legs further before patting the bed between them. “Come here.”

I stood firmly, determined that tonight I wouldn’t give an inch. He sighed deeply and affected a troubled look. I was in awe of his acting. He seemed like he could conjure the appearance of any emotion he wanted at will. The trade-off was that he never had to experience the real thing. He scooted forward and climbed to his feet, walking silently to the door. I heard it click closed and then he was back. He had stopped behind me and I could feel him pressing up against me. His hands rested on my shoulders as he leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

“I will give you one more chance. Go and sit on the bed.” I remained motionless, and after a few seconds fingers started to pinch into my shoulders. “Do you want to break our deal Jin?” his voice was still a low whisper, and it sent a shiver down my spine. “I can tell Hiroki the truth at any time.”

I remained resolutely silent, and the hands released their grip, sliding down my arms. His hands had closed over mine as he continued.

“I can tell him from _your phone right now_ ,” and he wrenched my phone from my grip.

I spun around to make a grab for it but he held it out of my reach. His other arm wrapped around me tightly, pinning my arm and crushing me to his chest. He laughed coldly as I stretched and strained to reach my phone.

“Play the game, Jin,” he whispered, tossing my phone towards the bed to free up his other hand.

I felt a hand slip under my shirt and I stilled as he stroked up and down my back. I tried to push myself away but his grip around my waist was vice-like.

_Play the game._

It was chilling that he would blatantly acknowledge that this was what we were doing.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to get my fury under control. I had been so angry that I had lost sight of my objective. I wanted to beat Gabriel at his own game, didn’t I? I felt a sense of calm steal over me as I organised my thoughts. Yes. I was going to win this in the end. Slowly I let my body relax bit by bit until I was willingly pressed up against him. As I did, the tight grip on my waist loosened until I was able to pull my arm free. I let my hand trail up and over his shoulder as I pulled myself closer to press my lips to his neck just below the ear.  

I held this for a moment, just breathing against him though my parted lips before I let my tongue dart out to swipe against his skin. Gabriel continued to hold me, tracing patterns over my back with one hand, seemingly content for the moment to wait and see what else I would do. I continued to press kiss after kiss slowly down his throat until I felt a pulse against my lips.

I licked it, and it sped up.

I smiled against his neck as I continued to kiss, lick and nibble up and down his neck. It felt empowering to know that I could affect him with something simple like this. The hand trailing patterns on my back had slowed considerably until it was rubbing small circles, but now it stopped and withdrew.

I had reached the base of his neck and had started to kiss along his shoulder when Gabriel shuddered and pulled back.

_Bingo._

The expression on his face was unreadable as he pulled me by my shirt sleeve towards the bed.

Instead of manhandling me onto the bed like he usually did, he let go of me and climbed onto the mattress himself. With a start I realised he had returned to his original position and I took a deep, steadying breath before I climbed up after him.

He easily manoeuvred me the way he wanted, fitting my back against his chest as he lazily traced patterns over my stomach. I closed my eyes and relaxed into him. It felt…really nice. It was so much easier to give in.

“You’re very relaxed,” he commented, and I hummed in agreement. I could feel Gabriel’s erection pressing into my lower back and I squirmed against him, thrilling at the twitch in reply. My victory was short lived as one hand dragged across my nipple, rubbing it through the fabric and pinching it as it hardened in response.

I felt a dull ache deep in my groin and heaved a huge sigh. God damn it.

But just because he could still elicit a response from me didn’t me that I was going to be overwhelmed again. I didn’t feel that sense of urgency, that mindless desire to chase my own pleasure that had swept me away on previous occasions.

I was still in control.

Gabriel’s arms tightened around me and I felt him kiss the back of my head. He was changing the game again.  

“Let’s make a bet.”

#

“I bet I can get you off through your clothes using only my hands,” as Gabriel spoke, his hands slid lower until they were wrapped around my hips. With one finger he tapped at my waistband slowly.

“If I can get you to come in five minutes or less, then we get rid of the no-touching-below-the-belt rule altogether.”

That sounded dangerous. I knew he wouldn’t propose a bet he didn’t think he could win, but he didn’t know I’d already gotten myself off in the bath. I felt confident that I had some security due to that, but I hadn’t counted on direct simulation.

“What’s in it for me?” I asked, shifting my hips under the pretext of getting comfortable but really I was rubbing myself against Gabriel. If I could get him riled up he was less likely to think clearly.

“How about we make it a contest then?” Gabriel leant forward, resting his chin on my shoulder as he continued.

“No time limit. Hands over clothes only. First one to cream their pants loses.” A chill ran down my spine at his cold words. I had been letting my arms passively lie at my sides, but now I brought them up to stroke at the arms that held me.

“I take it if you win the below-belt rule is abolished.” I asked cautiously. I wasn’t entirely sure that I should make this bet.

“And what do you want if you win, sweet Jin?” I didn’t even have to think about it.

“The daily time limit is lowered to five minutes.” I said, hardly breathing as the silence stretched.

“Deal.” He said at last, and his arms opened to release me. I immediately moved away, shuffling around on my knees so I was facing him. Gabriel was watching me silently, eyes hooded as I hesitated in front of him.

A plan was quickly forming in my mind, taking in Gabriel’s current position. Moving to the right, I reached out to push gently on Gabriel’s knee. He let his leg drop without complaint and I slowly moved closer.

My plan involved exposing myself to attack, which I knew was risky, but I was banking on two things: my temporary immunity and Gabriel’s weak spot.

As soon as I straddled his lowered leg, Gabriel’s hands reached out to me. I decided to ignore what he was doing and focus on my own task. I moved closer, reaching down with one hand to smooth over the bulge and find my target. I steadied myself by curling my right hand over his shoulder as I ran my hand along the taunt fabric, searching for the head. I was relieved that he was already fully erect; half my job was done for me. Gabriel’s hand was pressing against me and causing new waves of sensation in my groin. I bit my lip and kept my eyes lowered, concentrating as I applied gentle pressure to my target.

I kept rubbing gently, cupping my fingers and rocking them over the bulb until I felt a tell-tale spot of moisture. This was my cue. I moved closer, leaning my chest against his shoulder, my hand constantly working below. I was erect now, and Gabriel’s hand had closed over my shaft, pumping me through the fabric of my pants. I waited until he gave me a particularly firm stroke before I moaned loudly and deliberately in his ear.

I felt the jolt run through Gabriel’s body as he involuntarily bucked into my hand. My guess had been right; Gabriel literally got off on being in control. I turned my face away to cover up my smile and instead began to pant, letting my breaths press my heaving chest against him.  

I felt his hand falter for a second; time for the next phase.

I started to slide my hand firmly up and down, starting with a slow pace but letting the momentum build gradually as I felt his hips shudder with want. I had one more trick up my sleeve, and as Gabriel’s breathing started to come in shorter bursts I knew it was time. I let my head drop, resting my forehead on his shoulder. I was still panting—although I wasn’t faking it now; the skilled hand working below was quickly bringing me to the edge and I was having trouble focusing. I had to end this now if I wanted to win. I let my hand fall heavily off his shoulder, dragging his t-shirt down and exposing the junction of neck and shoulder. With the determination to win, I made my move quickly, knowing that this was probably violating the spirit of the rules and that I would only have one chance.

I kissed my target open-mouthed first, letting my tongue taste the skin before drawing back my lips and biting down hard as I quickened my pace.

Gabriel cried out, his head thrown back and his entire body shuddered as I milked him. I had only bitten down once, but for every spurt of his orgasm I sucked hard at the spot, revelling in the feeling of his body trembling and at my mercy.

Gabriel’s hands had stilled as soon as he had lost control and I clung to him, still panting and hard while his breathing gradually came under control. My hand was still on him, the warm and sticky evidence of my victory seeping through the cotton of his pants.

I didn’t have long to celebrate my win.

Gabriel pushed me roughly sideways, and as I hit the bed I scrambled to get away but he was on me in a flash. His fingers curled under the waistband of my pants and in one movement pulled them to my knees.

I tried to push him away but he snatched my hands out of the air, pinning them to the bed harmlessly as he used his body weight to hold down my legs. I watched helplessly as he took my cock in his mouth, using his tongue to caress and swirl around the head. My eyes squeezed shut: I had never felt anything like this before. A loud moan tore from my throat and I instinctively tried to tug my hand free to stifle the noise. My hand slid free and I brought it to my mouth, pressing my palm against my lips to smother the sounds I was making. I didn’t really register that Gabriel had let my hand go until I felt something wrap around the base of my cock.

I had been close already but now I felt my release building as he began to pump me into his hot mouth. Every noise I made only encouraged him and instead of biting down on my hand to stifle my own cries I somehow found myself winding my fingers through his hair, a silent plea to urge him on.

Suddenly he changed the angle, taking me deeper, right before I lost control. I felt a familiar contraction below and I bucked helplessly; my fingers twisted in his hair as I came down his throat. I felt every spurt rock my body as he milked me for every last drop. I went limp as he pushed away from me, sliding off the bed and walking over to my desk.

I winced as the cold air hit my cock and I scrambled to cover myself. I was still seeing stars as I tried desperately to focus on him and to catch my breath. What was he doing?

He had snatched something from the desk, and when he turned back I could see he held his phone tightly. What had his phone been doing there?

I looked from him to the end of the bed, where we had just been, where he had been sitting when I arrived. With dawning horror I looked back at him in time to see him look up from the screen. He turned the phone to show an image of us sitting at the end of the bed. A chill ran down my spine as he lowered his phone.   

_Had… Had he recorded us?!_

I stared in shock at him as he glared coldly at me before storming from the room, wrenching the door open and slamming it closed behind him hard enough to make the windows shake.

I needed to shower but I didn’t want to leave my room. I had just had the most intense orgasm of my life and I felt sick. It didn’t feel like I’d won. I wondered idly if he’d even honour the agreement to lower the time limit. I laughed in spite of myself, flinching as the hollow sound broke the silence. What was happening to me?

I climbed off of the bed with shaky legs, dashing to switch the light off and return to the covers. As I huddled under the heavy quilt I felt a sob bubble up, and before I could stop I was crying. I pressed my face into my pillow to muffle my sobs, unable to stop but terrified of Gabriel hearing me.


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing?” I asked instead of answering his question.
> 
> “Do you mean right now? Or just generally?”
> 
> “Generally.” 
> 
> With me? 
> 
> Jin has been resisting Gabriel but his resolve is starting to weaken. What will happen if he gives in to temptation?

**Day Four: the consequences** (Thursday)

I woke in the morning feeling like hell. Despite crying myself to sleep, my dreams had been of my first blow job, and I felt angry that instead of hating Gabriel for essentially stealing my virginity I was waking up with an erection. I had deliberately set my alarm early so I could avoid him at all costs, and I silently collected everything I would need for the day before sneaking downstairs. I showered quickly, letting the cold water kill any lingering feelings of arousal and dressed in my uniform before leaving the house as quietly as I could. As I walked to the station I wondered what Gabriel would do when he noticed I’d left without him. Would he make his own way to school? He probably wouldn’t even wake up in time.

Even though I got to the bakery early I grabbed my pastries to go. As I waited for the owner to bag my purchases I couldn’t help but look over at the table where I had enjoyed breakfast with Gabriel just two days ago. It was like he was two different people. Was it just acting when he was smiling, joking, and being a normal 17 year old? Why did he bother with an act?

 _Because he’s playing a game_ , my brain immediately supplied as I thanked the shop owner and left. Because he just wants to play with people. As I climbed the hill I wondered what I would tell everyone about Gabriel being absent. Should I just say he was sick today? It didn’t seem believable. Maybe I should say I couldn’t wake him up? He didn’t feel like going to school? _I was too afraid to face him again…._

My feet had carried me to the school gate and I paused as I looked up at the building. Suddenly my phone rang and I jumped. Fumbling in my bag for my phone and stared at the screen as it displayed the caller.

_Master Gabriel_

With a sick feeling of dread I ended the call. I had not saved Gabriel’s number. He must have done it last night when he had accessed my phone. I leant against the wall, my phone held loosely in my hand as I contemplated my next move. Before I could decide, the phone rang again.

My finger hovered over the end call button, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me and with a shaky finger I picked up the call.

I raised the phone to my ear and waited silently.

“Good morning, sweet Jin!” Gabriel sang cheerfully, and I felt my heart pound as I looked around. Being so early, there weren’t any students about yet, but I still spoke in a low voice as I answered him.

“Don’t come to school today,” I said quickly. I hadn’t planned to say that, but after I did I immediately knew that was what I wanted right now.  

“What will I do all day? It’s boring here without you.” I could hear doors opening and I wondered what he was doing.

“Go and play in the park,” I suggested icily. I must look suspicious, hiding in the shadow of the wall and hunching over my phone. I stood up straighter and started to walk quickly towards the school building. “Or go to the movies or something. I don’t care.”

I heard a can crack open, and Gabriel was silent as he drank deeply.

“Ah! Never mind, I just found beer.” I removed my phone from my ear to stare at it in disbelief for a moment.

“Are- are you drinking?!” I whispered furiously as he laughed.

“Lighten up, Jin. It’s just one drink.” There was rustling over the line and then the sound of munching. “It’s your fault for leaving me. I have to fend for myself.” He said through a mouthful, and I slapped my hand over my eyes.

“Fine.” I said through gritted teeth. “Come to school.”

“Nah.”

I felt my irritation overtaking over my fear.

“ _Will you just hurry up and get to school.”_ My voice was shaking again, but this time it was with anger as I hung up on him. I shoved my phone back in my bag and leant against the shoe lockers just as Hiro appeared, walking slowly around the school gate.

I was so glad to see him! I called out and he looked up in surprise before a smile spread across his face.

“Jin! You’re here early.”

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep,” I said, walking out to meet him. I held up the bag. “Want to sit outside and have breakfast?”

We found a bench seat in the courtyard where we could sit and I handed Hiro a canned coffee and a curry bun.

We ate in silence, watching as the first of the early students started to appear.

“Where’s Gabriel?” Hiro asked, and I hesitated for a moment.

“Coming later,” I said, putting my bread down and picking up my drink before I continued. “He is _not_ easy to wake up in the mornings,” I added, taking a swig of my coffee thoughtfully.

“Sounds like you’ve got it rough.” Hiro laughed and I forced a smile. He had no idea. “Hey Jin,” Hiro said in a quiet, serious voice. I paused mid-bite to look at him.

“Mmh?” I took the bite and raised an eyebrow for him to continue.

“Is there someone at school that you like?” I choked on my mouthful, and Hiro slapped me on the back as I tried to cough, breathe, and swallow at the same time. “I guess that’s a yes.” He chuckled to himself as I blushed and wiped my mouth.

“Why..?” I asked, not really sure I wanted to know but feeling obligated to ask.

Hiro had finished eating and was stretching his long legs in front of him as he rested his arms along the backrest. My eyes travelled up his body from his crossed ankles to his graceful neck. He had turned his head to watch the students starting to trickle in the school gate. He looked like a model.

“You know Ayase-san?” I jumped, but he didn’t notice and I quickly confirmed out loud that I did.  

“She told Rei that she likes you. We were talking about it last night and wondered if you might go out with her.”

There was a sharp pain in my chest and I pressed my hand over my heart, kneading my palm at the source of the pain before I realised what I was doing.

_Rei._

Without me even noticing, Hiro had fallen into a serious relationship with Inoue and my heart was breaking.

I knew I had to say something, but I honestly couldn’t form words. I was horrified to feel the prick of tears at my eyes and I rapidly blinked them away. I was turning into a cry baby but nothing, _nothing_ , was going to make me cry in front of Hiro.

He interpreted my silence as a gentle refusal and looked over at me sympathetically.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to. I didn’t actually think you already liked someone, you never talk about it.” I forced myself to smile and shook my head.

“It’s nothing like that. I don’t really have anyone…special...” I trailed off. I couldn’t look at him and lie anymore and I dropped my gaze as I fidgeted with my bag strap. “I mean, I kind of do have someone I like, but it’s one-sided…” I shrugged my shoulders and fell silent again. I could tell Hiro was still looking at me but I deliberately avoided his gaze.

“How do you know it’s one-sided if you don’t confess?” Hiro slapped me on the back encouragingly, leaving his hand there as he leant closer to offer advice. I wondered if he could feel my heart pounding.

“I know how you feel though; I was _terrified_ Rei would reject me.” My fingers dug into my bag as I listened to my first and only love counsel me on how to tell him my feelings. “I know! You just need a practice run, why don’t you practice on me?” He laughed at his own joke, and after a moment I tried to laugh with him, but all I managed to make was a strange, high-pitched squeaking noise.

Fortunately it was at that moment that Inoue came around the corner and leaned casually against the wall. I saw Hiro’s face light up when he spotted her.

“I gotta go,” He said, gathering up the rubbish and putting it back in the plastic bag. “But Jin. Think about Ayase-san, okay? Thanks for breakfast.” He patted me on the shoulder again but didn’t wait for a reply as he jumped to his feet and sauntered over to Inoue. I watched them link hands before vanishing around the corner.

What was happening to my life?

I stared at the spot Hiro had disappeared. I needed to give up on him once and for all. I knew it was hopeless before, but only now was I seeing just how deluded I had been.

I reached for my phone and quickly opened my contacts, scrolling down to M. I opened Gabriel’s contact and stared at the name. He was so full of himself. On a whim I edited it to read “Demon” and hit save before I phoned him.

He answered on the third ring.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” his voice was irritatingly chipper, and I found myself wondering if he’d finished the can from earlier.

“Where are you?” I asked, casting a look around as a group of chatting girls wandered into the courtyard.

“I just got to the station- hang on,” there was a muffled sound and I could hear distorted voices before he came back on the line. Huh. He’d actually listen to me and was coming to school.

“Sorry, getting coffee. Did you know there’s this place that does triple shot espressos?”

I ignored him and started walking back to the school gate.

“I’ll wait for you at the gate,” I said, adjusting my bag as I picked up my pace.

“Why? Miss me?” Came his laughing reply, and I hung up before he could mock me further. I hunkered down outside the gate to wait for him; he probably wouldn’t be more than twenty minutes. As I waited, the number of students arriving increased and soon I was forced to greet classmates. Saki and Miya arrived together but as I was out of their eye line I fortunately avoided having to talk to them.

I finally caught sight of Gabriel’s blond head coming up the hill and I started walking towards him. I couldn’t explain it because it didn’t make sense, but I felt a sense of relief when I saw him. He smiled widely when he spotted me, and hoisted a canned coffee in greeting.

“Hiya, Jin,” he said as I turned to fall into step beside him. He threw his free arm around my shoulder and gave me a shake. “You look like shit. Something happen?” I felt the tears from earlier return but I refused to cry in front of Gabriel either.

“No.” I said resolutely. “I always look like this.”

He laughed and sipped his coffee. He chatted to me normally as we changed our shoes and went up to the classroom. He didn’t mention last night, and if he wasn’t going to bring it up, I certainly wasn’t.

We walked in just before the teacher and although I noticed Hiro giving us an odd look, I hurried to my seat to avoid making eye contact.

It was at the end of the first break that I noticed it. Gabriel and I had gone over to Hiro’s desk to chat, and as our next teacher came in Gabriel had turned to look over his shoulder. I watched him as he tugged his tie down and rolled his head from side to side. My eyes travelled down the column of his neck and I caught sight of a mark just visible under his open collar.

I felt my face get hot as I realised it was the top of an angry, reddish-purple bruise.

 _Oh my god_.

He had to have known it was there. God, it looked _painful_. He would have noticed it as soon as he woke up. I felt a flutter of fear in my stomach as I mechanically rose and returned to my seat.

_If you’ve bruised my beautiful body I’ll make you pay_

His words from earlier that week came back to me. He had looked so angry last night too. Was he going to punish me for doing that to him? Maybe he was planning to let someone ask him about it and then he would look me in the eye, smile that predatory smile of his, and pull out his phone-

Lost in my thoughts, I walked straight into my desk and fumbled to sit down as the class tittered at me. I blushed and kept my head down as the teacher called us back to attention.

I had to stop thinking about this.

Time dragged slowly as I fretted that at any moment someone was going to notice that Gabriel looked like he’d been attacked by an enthusiastic vampire, but the rest of the morning passed uneventfully. As we cleared our desks for lunch I felt a sense of panic rising. There was no way Saki wasn’t going to notice Gabriel’s neck. She was always hanging off him, and she was the kind of brash girl that wouldn’t be embarrassed about bringing it up. No matter what, I had to keep Gabriel away from Saki.

We filed out of the classroom and headed automatically for the lunch ladies. Hiro had caught up to us and I suddenly had an idea. Tearing a few notes from my wallet and slapping them into his hand I asked if Hiro could buy Gabriel and I something to eat as I babbled about having to see a teacher. Hiro took the money and said it was no problem as I dragged Gabriel by the arm in the opposite direction.

We had just passed the men’s room and I headed back to it now, pulling him in after me and spinning him into the wall with a strength born of pure adrenaline. A quick glance around confirmed we were alone.

Gabriel gave a low whistle as he leant against the tiles. My hands were still fisted in the front of his shirt as I panted, head bowed and trying to catch my breath.

“I have to say, I like this new side of you.” He licked his lips and I let go of his shirt like it was burning me, taking a step back.

“You need to hide that,” I said without preamble, fixing him with a stern gaze.

“I kinda like it.” He reached up to pull his collar aside, exposing the full bruise in all its glory. You could even see teeth marks. I covered my face with my hands. “Jin, your ears are bright red.”

I refused to look at him as he turned and examined the mark in the mirror.

“You sure did a good job, have you done this before?” he asked. His tone was so casual it was like he was asking if it rained yesterday.

“No,” was my muffled reply, and I slid down against the opposite wall. This was worse than I thought. Gabriel sounded positively delighted when he replied.

“Cool, I’ve got your first hickey!” he must have touched it, because the next sound he made was a sharp intake of breath. I lowered my hands to look up at him. He was frowning in concentration as he poked experimentally at the bruise.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and I truly was. Mostly because I felt like I had dug my own grave, but there was a tiny part of me that felt bad for hurting another person…even if it was Gabriel.

“Don’t be.” He shrugged, catching my eye in the mirror. He smirked and winked at me before fastening the top button of his shirt, pulling his collar closer, and arranging his tie to hide the mark. “Like I said, I like it.” He turned and offered me his hand and I hesitantly allowed him to pull me to my feet.

“What did I do to deserve a personal demon to torment me?” I asked forlornly, and he grinned wide.

“Probably something wicked.” He licked his lips again and my eyes darted to the flash of pink tongue, but I controlled myself and turned to leave first. Gabriel followed me down the hall and we got drinks from the vending machine in silence as I turned a single thought over in my mind.

Gabriel had deliberately left his shirt open until I had noticed the mark.

As we arrived at the roof and sat down to eat, I tuned out the voices of my friends as I wondered what he was up to. Gabriel spoke with everyone like he normally did, teasing and laughing as if he’d been friends with everyone for a year instead of a week. My eyes kept being drawn to his buttoned up shirt. He didn’t seem to want anyone else to notice. What could that mean? He had deliberately set out to record something incriminating, setting up the camera at an angle that would unmistakably capture my face. What was he planning to do with the evidence?

By the end of lunch I knew my silence had attracted attention, but even though my pathetic excuses of “I’m just tired” didn’t convince them, I was glad that Gabriel had managed to avoid arousing any suspicions. The subject of the rapidly approaching weekend came up, and there was much talk of all of us meeting up to do something fun. Saki was quick to ask Gabriel if there was anything he wanted to do or see, suggesting things like the zoo, aquariums, and an amusement park. Takuya brought a hand down lightly on her head in a chop and told her to stop suggesting date ideas.

Everyone laughed, Saki included, but she brushed her long ponytail over her shoulder before laying her hand lightly on Gabriel’s arm as she insisted that he was essentially a tourist, and these were all legitimate recommendations.

We couldn’t reach a unanimous decision until Gabriel suggested just having a picnic at a park. This idea was met with general accord and it was decided that we would all go to the garden in the city. The historical grounds were a national treasure and rather than packing and carrying food, there was a café we could eat at which we all thought was much more our style.

#

By the time the final bell for the day had rung I was more than ready to escape from everyone. Takuya had made his excuses at lunch and would be at soccer practice all afternoon and, surprisingly, Saki announced that she was going to an interview for a part-time job. As she was taking Miya for moral support and Hiro was going home to study, Gabriel and I were left on our own for the rest of the afternoon.

We got to the school gate before my slow steps ground to a halt.

“Let’s go somewhere,” I suggested, and instead of turning down the hill to the station we crossed the road to the old park.

This wasn’t a neat, manicured park like the one near my house. This park was much older and more of a pocket of green space left untouched than an official recreation area. There was an old, rundown temple with a small graveyard; this creepy ambience had made these woods the site of countless tests of courage for high schoolers over the decades.

On the other side of the woods there was a lookout that afforded a view of the suburb, and it was towards this that I led Gabriel.

I dropped my bag on the ground and sat down on the bench seat while Gabriel walked right to the edge and leaned forward to stare down. It made my feet tingle just watching him.

“Stop that,” I said suddenly, and Gabriel turned with his hands in his pockets to grin at me.

“Scared of heights?” he asked jokingly, but I shuddered involuntarily and he took a step closer to me.

“Something like that,” I said, rubbing at the goose bumps that had appeared on my arms.

He walked back and swung a leg over the bench to sit facing me.

“What else are you scared of?” he asked as he reached out to play with my shirt collar. I batted his hand away.

“What are you doing?” I asked instead.

“Do you mean right now? Or just generally?”

_Both. Either._

“Generally,” I said out loud.

 _With me?_ I added silently. He shrugged as he reached up to comb his fingers through my hair, tucking the strands behind my ear.

“No agenda. I’m just having fun.”

I frowned.

“Don’t you think that’s a little irresponsible?”

He laughed and leaned closer, turning my face so that I had to close my eyes or look at him.

“Do you want me to take responsibility for you?”

I gave him my best withering look and tried to move my head away, but he had a firm grip on my chin.

“Do you love me yet, Jin?”

I was taken aback by the question, and even after he let go I didn’t move.

“What?” I asked stupidly, and he repeated the question.

“Do you love me? Do you think about me all day?” he reached down to touch me and I twisted away to shield my lower body.

“I’ll bet,” he continued in his low voice, “That you dreamt about me last night.”  

_I did._

“No, I didn’t,” I said aloud, and I jumped up to get away from him. “You don’t even understand what love is.” I told him heatedly.

“You may be right,” he conceded as he heaved a theatrical sigh before looking up at me imploringly. “Teach me?” he tilted his head and for a moment he looked so innocent and pure.

“You really are a demon sent to lure me off the righteous path.” I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Gabriel just shrugged.

“Whatever. The righteous path is boring.”

I went as close to the edge as I could stand before looking over. There was no guardrail here and I felt the familiar sensation of fear fluttering in my stomach. It was the same feeling Gabriel inspired, A sense that you were in danger. Fight or flight.

I didn’t notice Gabriel had come up behind me until he suddenly shook me; to my everlasting shame I screamed out loud. He had a firm grip on my arms as he doubled over laughing at me. I wrenched free from his grip to hit him with my bag.

“Asshole!” I smacked him in the arm and he let go, still laughing as he tumbled to the ground. I stood over him as he rolled onto his back, fuming as I gripped my bag strap tightly.

“What if I died, you idiot!”

He stopped laughing and lay back, shielding his eyes with a hand as he looked up at the sky.  

“I wouldn’t have let you fall, Jin.”

I sighed and moved closer to offer him my hand. He squinted up at me before sitting up and taking hold of my wrist.

I wrapped my hand around his wrist and pulled him to his feet. The ground was uneven and for once we were standing eye to eye. I was suddenly aware that I could feel a racing pulse beneath my thumb. I couldn’t tell if it was mine or his.

After a moment he pulled his hand free to brush off his clothes and I watched him silently before offering to help by roughly brushing at his back and shoulders. Gabriel walked ahead of me on the path as I removed the last of the debris from his hair. He asked what we should do next and as we decided to return home I wondered why I had brought him to this spot in the first place.

We headed back to the station and made it home without any further incidents. Once on the crowded train I had fallen against Gabriel, and his arm had automatically gone around my waist to steady me, but to my surprise as soon as I was upright he let me go again.

My mother was actually home, and for once she didn’t look like she was going anywhere soon. She asked if we’d like a snack and I glanced at Gabriel before confirming that we’d be in my room.

I led the way silently as I contemplated Gabriel’s many confusing actions over the course of the day. The last look he had given me the night before was cold, I had felt that he had been angry with me.

I had expected punishment and retribution, but instead he had been cheerful and friendly. And while it was true he hadn’t exactly stopped touching me inappropriately, he had definitely done it far less than usual today. His inconsistency was the hardest part to deal with. He was a never-ending mystery.

I removed my tie, hanging it up before moving to the table. I watched Gabriel loosen and remove his tie from the corner of my eye as I dropped my bag and pulled out my books. Sitting down and pulling one of my workbooks towards me I started on my homework.

To my surprise, Gabriel imitated me and when my mother appeared to deliver a plate of dainty sugar biscuits and drinks we were studiously working.

Gabriel once again did most of the talking as he thanked her politely. I managed a weak, “Thanks ma,” as she left, pulling the door closed behind her.

“Doesn’t look like she’s going out tonight,” Gabriel observed. He sat back and loosened his collar. I caught a glimpse of the mark and averted my eyes as he ate one of the cookies.

“Mmh...you’ve got to try these,” he picked up another one and held it out to me.

The biscuits were tiny, just bite-sized. Without really thinking about it, I grabbed his hand and brought it closer, taking the biscuit along with his fingers into my mouth. Pulling the biscuit from his fingers with my tongue, I sucked the sugar from his fingertips. I pulled his now clean fingers from my mouth with a tiny wet noise and stared at him.

“What?”

His look of surprise was quickly wiped away as he pulled his hand back, looking back down at his homework.

“Nothing, it’s just… I guess you’re not my ‘sweet Jin’ anymore.” He made a show of sniffing and wiping away an imaginary tear. “They grow up so fast.”

“Shut up.” I mumbled, embarrassed but at the same time feeling…pleased? Proud?

 _What the fuck was happening to me_?

I tried to concentrate on my books, but I kept sneaking glances at the biscuits and up at Gabriel. I slowly put my pencil down and picked up a biscuit. Chickening out, I brought it to my own lips and ate it delicately. Gabriel had stopped to watch me as I chewed and swallowed. He was expecting it now, I could tell. Holding his gaze, I reached for another biscuit, this time offering it to Gabriel.

I watched wide-eyed as he took hold of my hand, guiding my fingers into his mouth. The feel of his hot mouth on my fingers instantly gave me flashbacks to last night. I felt a jolt of desire run straight to my cock as he sucked and licked me.

I withdrew my hand hurriedly. I don’t know what I’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. I dropped my gaze quickly to my schoolwork but I couldn’t help but wonder if Gabriel had felt the same thing whenever I sucked on his fingers. Was he reminded of lips wrapped around his cock? Who did he think of when I was sucking on his fingers? I started to blush.

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now.” Gabriel’s voice was a quiet command and I looked up helplessly. I couldn’t possibly tell him I wanted to try doing to him what he’d done to me last night. “Jin.”

I screwed my eyes shut.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

To my intense relief he didn’t push the issue. After a few minutes Gabriel abandoned his homework and flopped onto my bed. I glanced up at him before peeking at his workbooks. From a quick glance it actually looked like they were finished. His handwriting was neater than mine.

 _Great, his perfection continues_.

He was lying face down and hugging my pillow and I leaned against the table to watch him.

“Stop making out with my pillow.” I told him, and he turned his face to me with a grin.

“Only if you come here and make out with me instead.”

I sighed as I climbed to my feet. Gabriel rolled over towards the wall and patted the empty space beside him.

I moved to lie down next to him and he rolled onto his side, fitting himself against me and starting to trace patterns over my chest.

“If I ask you what you want with me would you give me an honest answer?” I asked. I had closed my eyes as his fingers traced around my nipple before rubbing over it gently.

“I’ve already told you: sex.”

I felt him undo my top button one handed.

“But why _me_?” I pressed, opening my eyes to look at him as he worked at my second button.

“Because you’re exactly my type,” he said, undoing the third button and spreading my shirt wider. He lightly touched my bare chest, playing with my nipples until they hardened underneath his fingertips. He looked me in the eye as he pinched one lightly. “Aren’t you going to tell me I’m breaking the rules?” his hand pressed against my chest and I could feel my heart pounding against his warm palm.

“No,” I said quietly. “I want to see what you’ll do next.”

He smiled at my words and, removing his hand, replaced it with his mouth.

I closed my eyes again as soft, wet kisses were pressed above my beating heart. Gabriel kissed and licked down to my nipple before covering it with his lips. I felt his tongue swirl around the bud before he sucked gently. I gasped as he blew softly across the nub before moving to give the same attention to the other side. My hands moved involuntarily to curl in his hair and he looked up at me, eyes dark with desire as I dragged his face closer to kiss him. I slid my tongue into his mouth, caressing and pushing against him as my hands combed through his hair, sliding down his neck until my thumb was pressing against the mark.  Gabriel moaned into my mouth and I felt it vibrate through my body. I had moved my thumb when I first realised I was pressing against the bruise, but it was a pleasant feeling when I could make Gabriel moan and I wanted him to do it again.

I broke our kiss, turning Gabriel’s head and pulling his collar aside to bare the mark I had made. I closed my lips over it and kissed it open-mouthed, pressing my tongue into the bruised flesh. Gabriel moaned again, his body jerking as he reached out to brace himself by grabbing my shoulder.

I wasn’t the only one affected. I had felt my cock responding as Gabriel teased me before and now I could feel him getting hard where he was pressed against my thigh. I moved away from the abused spot, kissing further up the column on his neck to just below his ear. I sucked gently, not hard enough to leave a mark but it still caused him to buck his hips against me.

“Jin.” His voice was breathy, uncontrolled. I hesitated for a moment and he pushed me down, straddling my hips as he braced his hands on my chest. I watched him as he rolled his hips, grinding himself against me. Almost in a daze I reached out to fumble with the belt at his waist, and he returned the favour. He lifted his weight temporarily for me to undo my fly and expose myself as Gabriel pulled his own erection free. I felt him slide against me, the tips of our cocks weeping as he reached for one of my hands. He guided my hand to wrap as far as it could around both of us, and he covered my hand with his as he stroked us together.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sight. Gabriel was bigger than I was, but I was surprised to see that it wasn’t by much. His hand had set the pace and I was quickly being brought undone. He shut his eyes as he bent over me, bracing his weight on his arm. I reached out with my free hand to touch the tip of his cock. I swirled my fingertips around the thrusting member, gathering the dripping juices and bringing them back to the head. I withdrew my hand suddenly, licking my palm to load it with saliva before bringing it back to cup over both of us.

The groan this action tore from Gabriel’s throat sent a wave of pleasure through me. He immediately leant forward to kiss me, and the change in pressure caused me to moan into his mouth. I felt a tremor as I bucked into our hands, and with a sudden tightness I felt myself break. I came into my hand seconds before Gabriel shot his load, our cries muffled by our joined lips. We parted, short of breath and bodies trembling, as we both looked down at the mess we had created.

Gabriel slowly let go, climbing off of me, and falling backwards to lie on the bed, knees bent to prevent the mess from spreading further. I climbed shakily to my feet and awkwardly shuffled to the desk to retrieve the tissue box, wiping myself as best I could before doing up my pants.

I carried the tissues over to Gabriel, who was still lying with his head hanging just off the edge of the bed. Dropping the box on the bed next to him, I moved back to the other end to sit down as he slowly sat up, pulling a few sheets to wipe up the mess.

I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms. It had suddenly occurred to me that my mother was still in the house and although she rarely came up stairs, the relief that we hadn’t been caught was adding to the weak feeling in my legs.

Gabriel seemed to have recovered and was on his feet fixing his pants. He sat back on the bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

“I knew you’d be good. We should do this every day.”

I laughed hollowly, the sound muffled against my knees.

I felt the bed move as he repositioned himself and suddenly he had pulled me into his lap. He cradled me in his arms as I quickly brushed the tears from my eyes. He frowned down at me.

“Are you crying?” he asked incredulously, reaching up to pull my hand away from my face. “You are! Why?” he sounded genuinely confused, and this just made my eyes tear up again.

“Just leave me alone,” I struggled to free myself but he was holding me too tightly for me to escape.

“Not until you tell me why you’re crying. Did I hurt you?” his face was filled with concern, and I felt a sob tear from my throat. “Didn’t it feel good?” He continued to question, and I gave up trying to struggle, settling for just covering my face. I could smell sex on my hands and the pit in my stomach grew larger. “Jin?” he tried to pry my hands away but I turned my face into his chest to hide, “Answer the question.”

“I don’t know!” I tried to shout, but my voice shook as I raised it. “I just- I don’t know.”

He fell silent for a moment and I risked a glance up. I couldn’t see his face from this angle but as another sob wracked my chest I felt a hand rest gently on my head.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Gabriel has gently rocking me, stroking my hair as I buried my face in his shirt again. “Please stop crying,” his voice was impossibly gentle and I found myself taking deep, gulping breaths as I tried to stop. I started to shiver and he responded by pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

My tears had finally stopped falling and I tried to sit up by grabbing handfuls of his shirt to pull myself up. To my surprise he didn’t restrain me, his hands just slid around to rub comfortingly up and down my back. Another shiver ran through me and I released my hold on his shirt, sliding my arms around his neck to press myself closer to his warmth. 

The gentle strokes up and down my back continued to comfort me as I clung desperately. I felt terribly confused.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked, tightening my hold as Gabriel reached up to stroke my hair again.

“Ok, rude. I’m always nice to you?” I almost snorted at that. He couldn’t be serious, but he sounded as confused as I felt. “I thought we were having fun, then you started crying and I just felt…weird.” I felt a laugh bubble up at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“You felt _weird_?” I asked. “Do you mean you felt _bad_?”

I was feeling a lot calmer now and I relaxed my grip, shifting back so I could see his face. Gabriel let me arrange myself but was still cradling me in his lap. He was wearing his unreadable expression again.

“Whatever it was I didn’t like it.” He had tilted his head. He really looked like he was thinking about it. A slight frown creased his features. “So don’t cry anymore.”

I laughed again and this time I managed a smile. Gabriel’s frown disappeared immediately as he grinned down at me.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, much.” I climbed off Gabriel’s lab and shuffled to lean against the headboard.

“Good.”

I suddenly felt like a great weight had been lifted from me. I had been struggling to resist Gabriel for days and when I had finally broken nothing bad had happened. I hadn’t been struck by lightning like I dreaded. We hadn’t even been caught. I felt lightheaded as I considered that he had been right all along; it had felt good. Better than good, amazing. But that didn’t mean I was going to keep giving in to him. I suspected I was going to need to maintain a distance from Gabriel. He didn’t strike me as boyfriend material and if I let myself get in any deeper I was sure I would end up with a broken heart.

I moved to grab an iced tea from the table and we sat on the bed sharing the drink between us as I complemented him on his homework.

“You’ll probably get into T University.” I frowned as I raised the bottle to my lips. “I’ll probably fail,” I said, taking a swig and letting my shoulders droop.

It was something that had been weighing on me for the last three years. I knew I could go to uni prep to improve my chances, but the truth was that I didn’t actually _want_ to succeed. Deep in my heart was the hope that if I just failed badly enough my father would stop pressuring me and I would be free.

I tried to put this into words, but Gabriel just didn’t get it. He kept insisting that it didn’t matter what anyone else wanted, and I should just do what I felt like. In the end I gave up; it was pointless arguing with him. But he did have one helpful thing to say.

“You could still go to T Uni and graduate if you wanted to. There’s no rule you have to do it because your old man told you to. There are other faculties besides economics.”

I turned that thought over in my mind. I had only considered two options before: the path laid out for me or nothing at all. I hadn’t really thought about trying to study something else. I didn’t know what I’d be good at.

“Ok. I’ve decided,” I tightened my grip on the bottle. “Help me study for T Uni.” He looked at me with a hungry expression, and I felt a moment of hesitation before he replied.

“Sure. But what do I get in return?” I felt like I had seen most of the sides of him now. Maybe it would make him easier to handle in the future, or maybe there were more surprises in store. Whatever the case may be, I had decided that I would go there for myself, and I was going to work hard this year to achieve my freedom.

“Get me into T Uni and I’ll give you whatever you want.”

His eyes glittered as he regarded me.

“You know what I want. Are you prepared to follow through?”

I took a deep breath as I considered this. Was I prepared? If I thought about it rationally, given everything we had already done there wasn’t much left to do. It was only my personal hang-ups about sex belonging in relationships that was preventing me from indulging in what was turning out to be incredibly enjoyable. I risked a look at Gabriel again. I had no idea what it was about me that made him look at me that way, but I was starting to think that letting him take everything I had to give wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Okay. New deal.” I turned to face him. “You’ll help me study to get into T University.” Gabriel reached for me, his hand lightly cupping my cheek as he pulled me closer. “And in return, I’ll have sex with you.”

Rather than a handshake, we sealed this deal with a kiss.

#

The rest of the evening passed peacefully. We had both ditched our uniforms and changed into something more comfortable before continuing to pour over homework. I pulled out other subject workbooks and we discussed plans for future study. I also suggested we think about enrolling in uni prep and, to my surprise, Gabriel appeared to be considering it.

When we went down for dinner my mother actually sat with us. It was strangely surreal to sit and eat at the table with her and Gabriel. It was also incredibly awkward. It didn’t help that every time I caught sight of Gabriel’s hand I kept thinking about what we had done earlier. My cheeks flushed so many times my usually clueless mother asked if I was feeling unwell.  

I decided not to mention uni prep tonight. I wanted to think about it before opening that can of worms. I had argued so strongly against it at the end of last year, insisting that I could study perfectly well on my own. So, I listened to Gabriel tell my mother everything she wanted to know about him. It was fascinating to hear him talk about his life. For the millionth time I wondered why his personality was so fragmented. He could be cold and calculating, sadistic and selfish, but also warm, friendly, and straightforward. I hated to think that one of them was an act. Despite everything that had happened between us and, against my better judgement, I found myself beginning to genuinely care for him.

Almost as if he was reading my thoughts, he turned and smiled warmly at me. That same open, friendly smile he had flashed across the room at the party before we met. For a moment it was like none of the bad things had happened yet, and I felt a thrill of butterflies in my stomach. I forced a smile back as I realised that I was seriously in danger of falling in love with this demon.

Gabriel had offered to do the dishes and my overjoyed mother had settled in to watch TV; although, despite his chivalrous offer it was me who was elbows deep in sudsy water while Gabriel sat on the counter next to me, making no effort to even pretend to be helping. I was halfway through rinsing a plate when it occurred to me that I had no idea what his future plans were.

“What will you major in?”

“Hmm?” Gabriel stopped kicking his heels against the cabinet and stared at me. “Dunno. Law maybe.”

That was surprising. I rinsed the last dish, emptying the sink and drying my hands.

“Same as Hiro,” I said and Gabriel wrinkled his nose.

“Not law then. Something else.”

That made me laugh. He looked like a petulant child as he sat on the kitchen counter and picked a future based on whether someone he knew was applying to the same faculty.

Gabriel was still making the cutest face and, before I really thought about it, I moved to stand in front of him.

“I’m still thinking about it too,” I said earnestly, “but practice exams are only six months away so we should decide soon.”

I realised belatedly that I was standing between his knees as Gabriel locked his ankles behind me, effectively capturing me.

“Boring,” he whined, reaching for me and bending to kiss my neck. “I don’t want to think about exams.”

I tried to hold off his advances by bending backwards and pushing him away but it was a losing battle.

“Like I said,” I started as Gabriel gave up trying to kiss me and began reaching for my pants instead, “they’re at least six months away for now.” I felt his hands travel over my hips and cup my ass, pulling me closer just as we both heard the sliding door to the living room open.

Gabriel’s legs sprang open at once and I jumped away just as my mother walked into the kitchen. She gave a start when she noticed us but continued to the fridge to pour a drink.

“I didn’t know you were still downstairs. Thanks for doing the dishes.” She said, turning to face us while sipping her orange juice.

My face burning, I blurted out that I would go and run the bath as I high-tailed it out of the kitchen. That had been close; we were getting too careless. Being alone in the house for so long had led to me being off guard in the evenings, and it was going to get us busted.

As I returned to my room I wondered what would happen if we were caught. Would my mother kick Gabriel out? Would it affect his exchange program? I didn’t even want to think about the consequences if my father walked in on us. I felt ill just thinking about it. Thank god he was hardly ever around.

I was surprised to find that Gabriel wasn’t in my room. I hesitated at my room for a moment before continuing down the hall. His door was open and he was lying on his bed watching something on his phone. His eyes briefly flicked up to me as I entered, but his attention was on the screen. As I drew closer I could hear faint sounds that made my ears burn and, sure enough, when I drew level with him he turned the phone to show our “home video”. I watched in stunned fascination as it reached the part where I had got Gabriel off. He turned the screen towards him again, frowning at the video before tossing the phone aside while I stood dumbfounded.

“Does it actually bother you,” I asked nervously, but before I could continue he looked up in surprise, like he had only just noticed I was there.

“The camera angle was all wrong. It completely missed the blowjob.” I blinked at him a few times in silence.

“I-I’m sorry? What?”

He heaved a sigh. “I really wanted to see your come face on film but it didn’t work out.” He flashed me a wicked smile.

“Oh well. There’s always next time.” I gulped nervously. “I haven’t really got to see it yet. I was too busy at the time.”

I sat down heavily on the bed and wondered if it was worth asking him not to record me. On the one hand I _really_ didn’t want that sort of video of me to exist, but on the other hand asking Gabriel for anything was useless unless you were willing to offer something in return. I gave up and decided I’d just have to be clever about it in the future. If I could keep an eye on the warning signs of a set up then I could sabotage them like I had done accidentally.

I ended up going for my bath first and I took my time relaxing in the hot water. So much had happened today that I was having trouble keeping up with it all. The morning had started so fearfully; I had truly felt like a hunted animal. Then Hiro, my beloved, dense Hiro, had inadvertently encouraged me to confess to him and even offered himself as a practice run. I hadn’t thought my heart could hurt any more than it already did, except that he had tried to set me up with a girl I had barely spoken to in three years before ditching me as soon as Inoue had appeared.

I wished that I could go back to the moment I had fallen in love with him and stop myself. If I could go back to that night of the test of courage where I’d tripped over a tree root and Hiro had appeared from the woods, offering his hand to pull me to my feet. I had looked into his eyes and suddenly felt a warm explosion in my chest as I thought, _“yes, I’m in love with this dork”._

Suddenly I sat bolt upright in the bath. It had just occurred to me why I had taken Gabriel to the lookout today.

I had been trying to re-write that moment.

After Hiro had helped me up I wasn’t interested in continuing with the game. We had snuck off the designated path and spent an hour hanging out at the lookout before we realised our friends had thought we were taken by spirits and were combing the woods for us.

I knew I had to give up on Hiro. But I also knew if I tried to replace him with Gabriel I wasn’t just going to get my heart broken; I was pretty sure that Gabriel would rip it out and eat it.

I got out of the bath, heaving a sigh at my predicament. After dressing, I went back upstairs. I leant in Gabriel’s doorway and watched him silently for a minute. He was dozing on his bed, shirt pushed up to expose his tanned stomach. He looked so peaceful it was a shame to wake him up. Still, he needed a bath.

“Oi.” I grabbed a pillow and slapped his exposed stomach with it. It made a delightful _whap_ sound and he groaned and rolled over.

“Bath’s free,” I told him, sitting down on the bed. His arms curled around my waist.

“Come and bathe with me.”

I tried to pry his fingers off but his grip was too tight.

“My mother’s downstairs, idiot. Besides, I just got out of the bath.” He let me go with a dramatic sigh.

“Fine.” he gathered his things silently and left me in his room. I looked around at the belongings Gabriel had brought with him. His clothes had exploded on every surface—he was unbelievably messy. He also had an entire box of books, which I found oddly surprising. I pawed through a few titles, but they were all in English and didn’t hold my interest. My gaze travelled around the room and came to rest on Gabriel’s phone.

I picked it up before I had thought about it and turned it over. I pressed the home button and stared at the screen in surprise. It was unlocked.

 _That’s dangerous_ , I thought, and vowed to tell Gabriel to set a pin the second he got back. If anyone else got hold of his phone… I shuddered at the thought as I opened the gallery. The video from last night was right there. I opened it, minimising the sound and slowly clicking it back up bar by bar until I could just hear it.

I watched movie-Gabriel move to the bed, taking a seat, and settling in with my phone. I saw his shoulders shake and the recording picked up his low chuckle. He had clearly just unlocked my phone. He scrolled quietly, fleeting expressions flitting across his face as he presumably read my messages. After a few minutes of this I heard the door creak off screen and I saw myself walk into the frame.

I lay down on Gabriel’s bed, holding the phone overhead as I watched last night’s events play out on the screen. It was actually really erotic watching myself kiss Gabriel’s neck, and when it got to the point in the video of Gabriel dragging me to the bed I was already feeling the all too familiar pull in my groin. 

It wasn’t long before the video reached the point where I had seen before, and I stared hungrily at the screen watching Gabriel’s face as I brought him undone. Gabriel had then pushed me off him and we mostly disappeared from the screen. I turned the volume up and although from the sounds I could guess what was happening, I understood Gabriel’s disappointment now. I continued to hold the phone up to my ear, closing my eyes to concentrate and I didn’t notice the footsteps approaching or the door silently swinging open. As I heard our final muffled cries I opened my eyes and jumped in shock. Gabriel was looming over me with a smirk on his face.

“Pretty hot, right?” he said as I handed him his phone, face burning with shame.

“You need to lock your phone.” I told him sternly, and he smirked wickedly at me before clicking the screen off and placing it on the bedside table.

I moved to get off the bed as he sat down next to me but a hand shot out and wrapped around my wrist.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked playfully, pulling me down onto his lap.

I squirmed to try and free myself but gave up after a few half-hearted attempts. Gabriel’s lips pressed against my throat and I stilled. I was still turned on from watching the video of us and Gabriel’s hands were travelling down my sides, curling around my waist, brushing lower towards my groin.

Gabriel dragged his fingers over my erection, pressing gently as they moved to part my legs. I sighed at the gentle pressure that stroked me there. I moved slowly so he knew I wasn’t trying to escape, sliding off his lap to turn and straddle him. We locked eyes as I began to grind against him, and he smirked at me before pulling me closer. I bent down to kiss him, and to my surprise he let me dominate him. I found that I could push him down on the bed and soon he was pinned beneath me for the first time. I kind of liked it.

This realisation brought with it a rush of guilty feelings and I paused for a moment. Gabriel noticed and gently pushed me away to sit up.

“I have to say, it’s a little ego-damaging when you’re hard and ready beneath someone who’s clearly miles away.”  I had stood up when Gabriel pushed me off and now I turned to sit on the bed next to him.

“Sorry,” I couldn’t quite look at him as I apologized. “I’m just a bit overwhelmed these days.”

“You think too much,” he said, scooting backwards to turn and lie on the pillows. “Just go with the flow.” He had closed his eyes when I turned to look at him.

“I envy you,” I told him jealously. “I wish I could do that.”

He shrugged, bringing an arm up to shield his eyes from the overhead light.

“Do what you want, Jin. In the end, it’s your life, no one else’s.”

I considered his words. Realistically he was probably playing me again. I had seen his acting range and it honestly terrified me how easily he created a different character for the different people around him. I tried to tell myself I was being foolish but a tiny voice in my head was whispering that of all of Gabriel’s characters that I had witnessed, this one that he reserved for when we were alone seemed the most real.

I had no evidence for this, and the whisper was probably just my ego, but I got up to turn the lights out and returned to Gabriel’s bed anyway.

It wasn’t completely dark; there was a soft glow through the window that allowed me to see the outline of Gabriel as he got under the sheet. An arm held the sheet open for me and I silently crawled in beside him.

 _This is probably a mistake_ , I thought as Gabriel tucked his body against mine. I felt his arm curl around me and his warm breath on my neck. To my surprise he didn’t try anything further, just held me as our breaths evened out until we were breathing together.

“Gabriel?” I asked tentatively, not sure if he had fallen asleep.

“Hmm?” came the sleepy reply, and I felt it vibrate against my neck.

“I’ve been thinking,” I began hesitantly, not sure if I should continue.

“You do that a lot.” He nuzzled behind my ear and kissed me, and I felt the rest of my words pour out.

“About the new deal.” Gabriel didn’t miss a beat; he continued to kiss gently at my throat as he held me against his chest.

I tried to pull away but he held me firmly.

“I’m trying to tell you that I don’t think I can do this.” He stopped kissing and moved back, but it was only to roll me towards him so that he could see my face.

“You mean you won’t sleep with me without feelings being involved.” My eyes were adjusting to the dark and I stared up at him helplessly. His hair glowed gold like a halo in the faint light. “That’s why you should fall in love with me.”

I stared up at him in shock, but his face was perfectly serious. I looked for laughter in his eyes or a trace of amusement on his lips but he didn’t seem to be making fun of me.

“That’s not how it works,” I said, turning my face away from his intense gaze. I remembered his words at the lookout from earlier today.

_Do you love me yet …?_

Was this Gabriel’s plan? Was he actually putting effort into seducing me so I would have sex with him? I kind of admired his dedication.

“Fall in love with me, Jin.” I could only stare wide-eyed as he lowered his lips to mine. He kissed me softly, parting my lips and sliding his tongue against mine as I reached up to run my fingers through his hair.

This was insane. I wanted to push him away and tell him _“you can’t just tell people to fall in love with you”._ But as I kissed him back, clutching at him desperately like a drowning man I realised that he could.

_Oh no._

Gabriel had rolled us so that I was on top of him, our legs tangled together under the sheet. As I started to become more demanding he had slowly submitted and now I was in control. My hardening cock was pressed between us and I rolled my hips against him. Gabriel’s hands smoothed down my back and over the swell of my ass to hold me against him. Suddenly I remembered being in the kitchen earlier and the thought that my mother was still in the house caused me to freeze.

“Wait.” I said breathlessly, and Gabriel squeezed my ass in reply, bucking his hips against me. My face flushed as I looked at him. “My mother’s still downstairs.”

“So?” he bucked against me again. “I saw her after my bath, she was going to have one too then go to bed.”

I held myself up, straining my ears for any kind of noise from outside the room, but all I could hear was my own pulse and short breaths.

“What if she comes upstairs?” I hissed urgently.

“You think she checks on you while you sleep?” he said mockingly. “I think we’re safe.” He bucked his hips and I bit my lip as I considered his words.

I knew he was probably right, but I still felt fearful of getting caught. I looked back down at him. Gabriel was watching me with a soft expression. I didn’t mean to ask, but the words had slipped out before I could stop myself.

“Do you love me?”

As soon as the words were out I tried to take them back. “Don’t answer that!” I scrambled to climb off him and disentangle myself from the sheet.

Gabriel had sat up behind me as I got unsteadily to my feet.

“Jin, come back.” He called softly, but I refused to look at him.

“I’m going to bed, see you in the morning.” I forced myself to leave without looking back, and I went straight to my room, hitting the lights on the way, and jumping under the covers.

I was such an idiot. I felt tears pricking at my eyes and I didn’t bother to wipe them as I silently berated myself. If I was so keen on getting my heart broken then I deserved to cry myself to sleep.


	5. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We’re home alone tonight.”  
> “I know.” I wanted to say other things, but he was making it hard to think.  
> “Then tell me, Jin. Why the sudden eagerness to rush home today?”
> 
> Jin still isn't sure about the new deal but Gabriel is as alluring as ever. With the added temptation of an empty house, will Jin finally give in to the demon?

**Day Five: home alone** (Friday)

I woke the next morning feeling strangely refreshed considering the night before. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a moment before deciding I might as well get up. I got ready leisurely, brushing my teeth and changing before heading down to the kitchen.

There was another envelope stuck to the fridge for me, and I read the note inside it three times before it truly sank it.

\- in Kyoto for three days with the 9th graders.  Your father has left for Italy until next weekend. Food money enclosed.

I peeked in the envelope. Way too much money enclosed. We could eat at a restaurant for every meal and still have change. I turned to lean against the counter. We had the house to ourselves for three whole days. Should I tell Gabriel? He’d probably jump me in the kitchen if he knew we wouldn’t get caught. I tucked the envelope with the cash into my pocket and threw away the note. I’d tell him later.

It was still early so I decided to put coffee on. I had never been much of a coffee drinker before but I seemed to be acquiring a taste for it lately. Gabriel wandered into the kitchen just as I was pouring his. He yawned as he came up behind me, reaching for the cup and mumbling a good morning.

I smiled and shifted out of the way as I added milk and sugar to my own drink.

“You’re really not a morning person, are you?” I smiled as I blew gently on the hot drink. Gabriel lowered his mug and gave me a dark look.

“I have low blood pressure.” He grumbled, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his grumpy expression.  We finished our coffee in silence and I watched him carefully. I had not forgotten the events of yesterday and I felt like now more than ever I needed to be on my guard. These moments in the mornings before asshole Gabriel was awake were dangerous to me. Something about his helplessness appealed to my nurturing instincts and I just wanted to protect him. In the interest of keeping my heart safe I was better off waking him up sooner rather than later.

We finished our coffee and went back upstairs to grab our bags for school. Gabriel was usually ready to go, but this morning I was left waiting in the hall tapping my foot impatiently. I pushed his door open to find him sitting on the floor, bag open and all of his books spread out around him.

“What are you doing?” I asked, exasperated.

He turned to look up at me forlornly.

“I don’t know what books I need,” he announced before falling to his side and lying motionless in the middle of the mess. I felt my annoyance dissolving. He might make us late, but he was actually kind of adorable in the midst of his mini-meltdown on the floor. I tried to regain some control over the situation, forcing a stern expression as I clicked my tongue at him and started picking books from the pile.

“You’re hopeless in the mornings,” I huffed as I got the last book, tucking them into his bag. “Come on, I’m starving. Let’s get brea--“ I stopped speaking suddenly. I felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped over my head. I had forgotten to message Hiro again last night. I quickly pulled my phone out to check my messages, but there was nothing from Hiro. I felt weird as I tucked my phone back into my bag and stood up.

“Come on,” I repeated, a little more mechanically this time as I reached down to pull Gabriel to his feet. I herded him down the stairs and outside where I hoped the fresh air and sunlight would help to wake him up a bit.

I sent Hiro a quick message as we walked to the station, apologising and asking him what he wanted for breakfast. I got a reply about 5 minutes later on the train, and I read the message shielding it from Gabriel as he leaned heavily against my shoulder.

            - Thanks Jin, but don’t worry about me. Rei said she’d make me breakfast \\(^o^)/

I turned the screen off and silently returned my phone to my bag. I supposed that was my fault. Inoue probably saw me bringing a breakfast bento earlier in the week and wanted to try it herself. Come to think of it, maybe she would want to take over providing Hiro’s breakfast every day. She was his girlfriend after all.

I felt a dull pain in my chest and I looked down, but it was only the buckle on Gabriel’s bag digging into me as he leaned more of his weight on me in the crush of the morning commute. I poked him in the ribs to wake him up for our stop.

We went to our regular bakery and ordered. Gabriel asked for “really strong coffee” and we took a seat with our purchases.

“Why are you so tired today?” I asked as I took a bite of my pizza roll. Gabriel had his head cushioned on his arms waiting for the coffee.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled, and I felt my chest tighten.

“Oh,” was all I could say in reply. I couldn’t help wondering if it was because of me.

Our coffee was soon brought over and Gabriel fell on it like a dying man. We finished breakfast in silence. Gabriel seemed to wake up about halfway through his second coffee for the day and as we were leaving he stopped me with a tug on my sleeve.

“What about Hiroki?” he asked as I exited the shop.

“Oh,” I hadn’t wanted to mention it but I guess I didn’t have a choice, “Inoue is making him breakfast today.” Gabriel looked at me closely for a moment before sweeping past me.

“Is that so?”

I hurried to catch up with him. He had thrust his hands in his pockets as he strolled up the hill.

“You don’t like Inoue, do you?” he asked, and I shrugged.

“Not really.” I said, adding, “Honestly she seems kind of shallow.” I cast him a sideways glance. “You think she’s pretty.” The way I said it almost made it sound like an accusation.

“Lots of people are pretty. Doesn’t mean I like them.” was all he said in reply. We fell silent as we approached the school gate. It wasn’t late but there was still a fair crowd of students milling about.

We made our way to our classroom. To my surprise Hiro wasn’t there. A quick scan of the rest of the students revealed that Inoue was missing as well. Gross.

I pulled a face and sat down at my desk. Gabriel dumped his bag on his desk and slumped in his chair facing me.

“I wish we had ditched today,” he mumbled through a yawn, and I silently agreed with him. But at least it was Friday. I pulled out my books and started arranging them for the day as Gabriel napped on his bag. I noticed Inoue sidle in a few minutes before the bell and Hiro himself sauntered in just in front of the teacher.

He winked at me on his way to his desk and I forced a smile in return. I stood to greet the teacher and gritted my teeth. I couldn’t believe I had been pining an entire year for that dense idiot.

During the first break Hiro told us all about the breakfast Inoue had brought for him. I was secretly pleased that despite his kind descriptions, it sounded like I was a better cook than her. Gabriel engaged Hiro’s attention and steered the conversation towards our plans for tomorrow. He seemed excited to see the gardens and explore the city.

The rest of the morning was uneventful and we all met up for lunch as usual. Saki tried to sit down next to Gabriel, but I shuffled closer to him to make room in the circle and she was forced to sit on my other side. I tried to hide my smile as she sat down but Gabriel had noticed. He bumped my leg with his knee and I turned and grinned at him before I really realised what I was doing.

He returned my grin and the tightness in my chest was back again. I tried not to look at him for the rest of lunch. We finalised our plans for when and where to meet tomorrow. No one wanted to go early and I insisted that was for the best, elaborating that getting Gabriel out of bed in the morning was about as easy as waking the dead.

Saki whistled and made a crude comment that insinuated she might have more success, which caused me to choke on my drink. Fortunately no one paid me any attention because Takuya chopped her on the head and told her not to say such unladylike things. I offered a silent prayer of thanks for Takuya and tried not to notice how Gabriel had shifted closer so that our knees were now touching.

At the end of lunch Saki tried to get Gabriel to agree to do something after school, but I interrupted her to say that we were having a family dinner to celebrate the end of his first week in Japan and that my mother wanted us back early.

The disappointment on Saki’s face was delicious, and I savoured every second of it. We packed up and parted for our classrooms as Gabriel fell into step beside me. Hiro had raced ahead shouting a generic excuse, which I mentally translated to “Inoue”, but for once I couldn’t care less.

We were last on the stairs and Gabriel reached out a hand to stop me, letting the others disappear down the hall.

He quirked an eyebrow at me once they were out of earshot. “Family dinner, huh?”

I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and leaned casually against the wall.

“Yep. I think we invited the distant branches. It’s going to be huge.”

He leaned down until our noses were practically touching.

“You’re such a liar.”

I felt my cock respond as he stepped closer. He had braced his hands against the wall, effectively trapping me.

“Your ma told me last night she was going on a school trip. We’re home alone tonight.” He licked along my ear and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

“I know.” I wanted to say other things, but he was making it hard to think.

“Then tell me, _Jin_.” I had shut my eyes as I tried not to focus on the feeling of Gabriel’s growing erection poking me. “Why the sudden eagerness to rush home today?”

A scuffing sound of footsteps on the floors below caused us to jump apart and for a long moment we just stared at each other.

“You know why,” I whispered, feeling my face heat up as I dropped my gaze for the millionth time today. I could feel Gabriel’s eyes boring into me and I cleared my throat to speak again. “Let’s get back to class,” I said in as even a voice as I could muster while I met his eyes again. Gabriel looked down and then back up.

“Really?” he asked, sounding mildly put out.

I didn’t have to look to know what he meant.

“Think about baseball,” I offered, and he frowned.

“Now I’m just picturing you in a baseball jersey and, I’ve gotta say, it’s kinda doing it for me.” I slapped a hand over his mouth as I heard more footsteps, and he actually licked my palm. I felt it deep in my groin and with a sigh I removed my hand and wiped it on his shirt.

“Grow up,” I told him as he grinned at me. I flicked him in the shoulder and quickly thought of five unsexy things. The last one was being late to class and getting detention, which spurred me to drag Gabriel by the sleeve back to our classroom. We weren’t the last ones back in, and as we took our seats I looked up to see Hiro wandering back in with Inoue close behind. No one else seemed to notice but I flashed Hiro a grin and a peace sign which he returned.

It felt strange, and maybe it was because I couldn’t feel sad when I was still so turned on, but when I looked at Hiro I didn’t feel that sharp pain in my chest anymore.

The end of the day could not come soon enough. As soon as the bell rang I was throwing my things in my bag and practically dragging Gabriel out of the school. It had been a spur of the moment thing, my lie to ensure that I would have Gabriel to myself all afternoon, but now that things were working out in my favour I felt like I had to appreciate every moment.

We caught the train back to our neighbourhood and Gabriel asked if we could stop at a convenience store. I nodded and led him out of the station to the Lawsons’ up the street.

“What do you need?” I asked at the entrance, but now that we were here Gabriel was very vague as he replied, “A few things,” and told me to grab a basket. We split up and wandered the aisles separately. Now that I was here I figured I might as well grab some things I wanted too. Gabriel seemed to be getting snacks, dropping them into the basket with the drinks I’d already picked up. I then spent 5 minutes explaining to him how there was no way he would be able to purchase beer before he gave up and grabbed two ice creams, announcing that we were done.

I carried the basket to the cashier and he started scanning our items. Gabriel asked me if I wanted the strawberry or the vanilla ice cream and I turned to him in frustration.

“Maybe I don’t want either. Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted one?”

He shrugged. “Because I wanted both but I figured I couldn’t eat two whole ones.  We can share them.” I slapped my palm over my face as the cashier read out our total.

I dug a few notes out of my wallet and waited for the change, grabbing it and the bag from the cashier and thanking them.

“Come on, you idiot,” I said, digging the ice creams out of the bag and handing one of them to Gabriel.

We unwrapped our treats and, true to his word, Gabriel made me share, although he did at least offer me alternating bites of his. We had finished them by the time we made it back to the house.

“We’re _home_!~” I sang loudly to the empty house, kicking off my shoes and taking the bag to the kitchen. Gabriel followed me in at a more sedate pace and so I was already digging through our bag when he sauntered into the kitchen.

I had taken out two puddings and a packet of chips when I spotted something unfamiliar at the bottom of the bag. I picked it up and turned it over in my hand before realisation turned my face bright red. It was a tube of lubricant.

I turned slowly to face Gabriel.

“What is this?” I held it out to him accusingly and he returned my gaze levelly.

“A marvellous invention. You’ll thank me later.” He grinned his predatory grin and I was sure my face was steaming. This was clearly the purpose of our convenience store visit. I was hit with another realisation.

“Oh my god, the cashier.” The tube fell from my hands as I rounded on Gabriel furiously. “I go in there all the time! We could have gone anywhere else! Oh god.” I covered my face with my hands.

Gabriel picked up the small tube and patted me on the shoulder.

“You worry too much. No one cares nearly as much as you think they do.”

I silently put our extra drinks away and considered this. It was possible, but that still didn’t make it any less embarrassing. I was just grateful I hadn’t noticed in the store. It occurred to me that Gabriel might have distracted me at the counter on purpose so I wouldn’t see it being scanned and stop to make a scene. If that was the case he was more considerate than I usually gave him credit for.

I sighed and decided to put it out of my mind. I turned to face Gabriel. The offending tube had disappeared and I decided not to question it for the time being.

“What should we do then?” I asked, and Gabriel suggested we relax with snacks for a while. I agreed and we carried a drink and a pudding each to the living room to eat in front of the TV.

“What about dinner?” I asked after a while. Gabriel swallowed his last bite of pudding thoughtfully.

“Aren’t we having a _Big Family Dinner_?” his foot reached out under the table to touch mine, and I didn’t stop him as he began to rub his ankle against my leg.

“We could order pizza later,” I said, ignoring his teasing as I finished my pudding. I wasn’t even hungry anymore; I was nervous and looking for ways to fill the time so that I didn’t have to think about the lubricant we had bought and what Gabriel intended to do with it.

“Fine with me,” he answered easily, and I swallowed as he shifted closer.

“I’m going to have a bath,” I announced suddenly, standing up and gathering up the debris from our afternoon tea. I hurried from the room and refused to look back.

I deposited the rubbish in the kitchen bin before racing upstairs to grab something to change into. I didn’t want to run in to Gabriel on the stairs and I prayed he stayed in the living room while I raced around my room.

I managed to make it to the bathroom without seeing him again and I quickly stripped off to wash.

My stomach had been in knots from the moment I realised what the lubricant was. I knew how things worked between two men, even though I had never done it. I had done some research on the subject last year and it was enough to make me blush remembering those times. I had just rinsed the last of the soap off and had climbed into the bath when Gabriel’s cheerful voice came through the door.

“Jin, want me to scrub your back?” I ducked down into the water as the door slid open. Gabriel was completely naked and at half-mast. I quickly spun away to avert my eyes while I shouted at him to get out. “No need to be so bashful, Jin. We’re all friends here.”

Gabriel made himself comfortable on the stool and turned on the shower. He had sat with his back to me and I snuck glances at him as he shampooed his hair and washed everywhere. I could see a faint tan line. So he wasn’t naturally golden, but he also wasn’t far off, judging by the caramel-coloured skin below hip level.

I had been so absorbed in watching him that it came as a surprise when he shut off the shower and stood up. I huddled close to the wall of the bath as he stepped down into the water.

We fit, but the size of the bath meant that no matter where I moved, some part of me was always touching him.

“Relax, Jin,” Gabriel reached out and pulled me back towards him. He settled me between his caged legs and I froze as his erection brushed against my naked ass. He laughed as he felt my body stiffen up again.

“Shush, relax,” he said again, smoothing his hands up and down my arms. “I’m not going to do anything to you yet.”

I consciously relaxed my body bit by bit until I was leaning back onto his chest.

“That’s it,” Gabriel said in a soothing voice, letting his hands come around to stroke my chest softly.

I had gotten hard just watching Gabriel. His hands sank lower; one hand wrapping around my cock. I pushed back against him as he gave me a languorous pump.

“There are so many things I want to do to you,” he was still speaking low, his breath tickling me as he pressed his lips gently to my neck.

He began a slow, steady rhythm as I felt his other hand slide past my hip, lifting me until he could slip his hand under me. I tensed as a finger brushed against my entrance, but the sensations caused by the firm hand stroking me were distraction enough as a fingertip pressed against me. I felt something, a tightness and a pull deep in my groin, and Gabriel gave a low moan in reply.

“Did you feel that?” he whispered against my neck, “you’re twitching for me.” I felt the finger push against me slowly, and a warm heat spread through me. I had wondered what it would feel like and now I guess I knew. The hot feeling was receding and I felt Gabriel move experimentally. It didn’t hurt, and I closed my eyes as Gabriel continued to pleasure me. I could feel my body relaxing around him, becoming heavier.

The finger was slowly withdrawn and I felt Gabriel urge me to turn around, his hands on my hips guiding me in the water.

“Stand up, Jin.” His hands moved to my thighs as I rose from the bath, water cascading in rivulets as he pulled me closer. My hands rested on his shoulders for balance as he guided me into his mouth, one hand disappearing between my legs again. I shifted my legs further apart, leaning my weight forward as I felt the gentle press of a fingertip against me once again. I gasped, the sound echoing in the bathroom as I felt him enter me, the strange sensation competing with the feeling of his hot mouth as he quickly brought me to the edge.

The sensation pooling in my groin felt deeper than it ever had before. There was a sudden tightness and I felt like I should warn Gabriel but before I could say anything I came. The jerk of my hips had buried Gabriel’s finger deeper and I felt myself clenching around him. My hands slipped on his wet skin and I braced myself on the edge of the bath as I caught my breath. Gabriel had sucked me dry, swallowing my come before licking me clean. His finger was still in me as he held me steady, and in the wake of my orgasm I started to feel embarrassed.

“How was that?” Gabriel asked me, kissing my hip as he gently removed his finger.

I couldn’t speak but as he kissed me a shiver ran though my body. Gabriel chuckled, nuzzling my thigh before he carefully manoeuvred me backwards.

“Sweet Jin,” he said as he looked up at me, “wait until we get to the bedroom,” he leaned forward and licked a long, wet strip along my hip.

I was clinging on to him again, not trusting my unsteady legs as he stood up. I had gone soft, but I could see Gabriel was still hard and I risked letting go with one hand to touch him. My eyes were lowered, watching as I teased him with light touches, but I heard him sigh as he swayed against me. 

“We should go upstairs,” he suggested, and I nodded my agreement, letting him help me out of the bath. Gabriel took my towel, drying me off meticulously, even getting down on his knees to carefully pat me dry. When he was finished he swatted me on the bum.

“Go up to my room,” he told me, quickly starting to dry himself. I nodded and left the bathroom, pulling on my pyjama bottoms but not bothering with my top.

Walking up the stairs I paused outside my room for a moment before continuing down the hall. Gabriel’s door was open and I went in without hesitation and sat down on the bed. I felt warm and relaxed from our bath activities as I lay down to wait. I felt like I could drift off into a deep relaxing sleep, but as soon as Gabriel appeared in the doorway and I took in his appearance I felt wide awake again.

He had the same idea as me and was only wearing pyjama bottoms as he vigorously dried his hair. I sat up again as he threw the towel at the desk, stalking towards me purposefully. His expression was closed and serious, but when he opened his mouth his words were surprisingly gentle.

“Do you want to continue?” he asked as he crawled onto the bed to straddle my hips.  He held my chin gently as he waited for an answer, and I nodded once. “I promise I’m going to make you feel so good.”

Gabriel smiled before pushing me back onto the pillows. My hands reached out to touch him tentatively and as my fingertips skittered across his skin he smiled against my mouth, reaching up to press my hand firmly to his chest.

“You can touch me, Jin,” he said, pulling away to smile down at me. I blushed as I felt Gabriel’s nipple harden under my palm. I tried rubbing it experimentally before craning my neck up to lick it. Gabriel’s hitch of breath was exactly what I had been hoping for. I was starting to realise I got off on surprising him as much as he got off on controlling me.

I didn’t have long to revel in my small victory as Gabriel began to kiss his way down my body, slowly crawling off me and curling his fingers under the waistband of my pants. I was instantly reminded of the last time he had done this, but this time he went slowly, kissing along the waistband, patiently waiting for me to relax again.

“Lift your hips,” Gabriel commanded, and I let him strip my only defence away. He pulled them off completely, lifting each foot to carefully free it of the fabric before tossing the bundle aside. He looked up my naked body at me and smiled, somehow it was the most erotic thing I had ever seen. He quickly removed his own pants, kicking them off the bed. Kneeling at my feet, he bent down to press a kiss to my ankle.

“Throw me a pillow.”

I lifted my head to remove one of the pillows and passed it down to Gabriel’s waiting hand. He gently bent my knees and rocked me back, sliding the pillow under my hips. Placing my hands on my thighs his next command was to hold my legs as he disappeared behind them.

I felt exposed and nervous as his hot breath fanned across the sensitive skin but I kept still, holding my legs up as his tongue licked across my entrance. The sensations caused by every wet stroke of his tongue made my legs jerk and soon my knees were banging together.

“Hold them open, Jin.” Gabriel’s voice was low and gentle and I relaxed and let my legs fall open again. I had shut my eyes but I could hear the click of a plastic cap as an artificially sweet smell filled the air.

“This will be cold at first,” Gabriel warned, and I nodded without realising that he probably couldn’t see me. I flinched at the first touch of the cold, wet lubricant, but as Gabriel rubbed it against me it quickly began to warm to my body temperature. There was a gentle pressure against me and I couldn’t help but gasp as I felt the tip of his finger push in.

“Relax, Jin.” Gabriel kissed my thigh and I concentrated on taking a few deep breaths.

“Good boy,” he murmured against my skin as I felt him slide in deeper. It didn’t hurt, but it felt tight. The initial uncomfortable feeling was fading though and my hips sunk lower as I unconsciously relaxed. Gabriel could obviously read me since he began to slowly move. The feeling of him touching me so intimately was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. The room was so quiet all I could hear was my breathing and the wet sounds Gabriel was causing. I felt Gabriel kiss my thigh again before biting down and sucking on my flesh. I gasped and looked down in surprise.

Gabriel was watching my face and I couldn’t help the blush that spread over my cheeks. He smiled wolfishly at me and licked at the bruise, causing me to gasp and shudder again. My eyes dropped lower to where his finger was disappearing inside me. He must have been waiting for me to look. I could see him still watching me as I felt his finger curl and suddenly a burst of warm pressure was spreading through me.

I threw my head back, moaning loudly at this new sensation. I could feel him rocking against the same spot repeatedly, and I looked down again to watch. Gabriel hadn’t touched my cock at all but I could see that I was already hard and leaking.

“God you feel so hot.”

I watched as Gabriel slowly slid his finger free and lined up two fingers at my entrance. He held my gaze as he slowly pushed both in and I cried out at the flash of pain it caused. The burning feeling subsided much quicker than it had before and Gabriel was soon pushing in and out of me, fingers scissoring to open me up.

“You’re doing so well,” he murmured as he once again brushed against my sweet spot. Every time he touched it I felt my legs jerk as a bolt of pleasure shot through me.

“Are you ready for a third finger?”

Gabriel sat up between my legs as I looked down my body, past my weeping erection and the fingers slowly stretching me, to Gabriel. His own erection jutted out, the tip shiny with a bead of precome.

I was seized with the urge to lick it, and I unconsciously reached a hand towards him. Gabriel raised an eyebrow questioningly at me.

“What do you want, Jin? Ask.”

“To…lick.” I felt my face flush again, but my eyes had darted back to Gabriel’s bobbing erection. I wet my lips and tried again. “I want to lick you.”

Gabriel chuckled and removed his fingers. I gasped as they were withdrawn from me. I felt empty, but Gabriel wasn’t finished with me. He pulled me up and guided my head down to his lap, settling one hand back between my legs to gently stroke at my entrance while the other held his erection steady.

“Lick me then.”

I couldn’t meet his eyes as I leaned forward. The bead of liquid was salty but not unpleasant, and I rocked back to look up at Gabriel. He was watching at me as he pulled the skin down to expose the fleshy pink bulb.

“Do you remember how I sucked you?” He asked, letting go to let his fingers brush gently along my jaw. I nodded and my eyes darted back to Gabriel’s cock. I reached out, wrapping my hand around him to guide the tip past my lips. I rolled my tongue against him, bracing myself on the bed to bob my head as I rocked him against the roof of my mouth. Gabriel’s gasp of “Yes, perfect” made me hum with satisfaction.

The warm hand between my legs had been rocking gently against me. I registered the click of the cap again and more cool gel being drizzled on me. I felt a press of fingers against me and I moaned in pleasure as he slid back in. Gabriel shuddered as my moan vibrated along his cock and his fingers pressed deeper still. I changed the angle to take him deeper, and suddenly I felt my throat constrict. I had hit my gag reflex and Gabriel groaned above me as my throat contracted around him.

He pushed me back and his cock slipped from my mouth wet with saliva. His hand had been withdrawn and I collapsed back on the bed as I wiped my mouth. I hadn’t come again yet but I felt so close I couldn’t help reaching down to stroke myself as I watched Gabriel return to the bed, rolling a condom on expertly.

Gabriel kneeled between my legs before leaning over to kiss me. I could feel his sheathed cock bump against me and I immediately wrapped my hand around both of us. As I touched him Gabriel moaned into my mouth.

“God you’re so fucking sexy,” he panted, eyes closed as he bucked into my hand. I slowed the pace and let go as he opened his eyes to look straight down at me. I gazed up at him, wide-eyed. He pressed kisses down my chest as he slowly returned to kneeling between my bent legs.

“I want to be inside you,” He murmured, lifting me by my ankles and pulling me down the bed towards him. He retrieved the lube, drizzling it along his cock and spreading it with a quick, practiced movement before rubbing the excess against me. I watched in stunned fascination as he lined himself up at my entrance, pressing into me with slow precision. I gasped as the tip disappeared, and the now-familiar burning sensation flared and died. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as he slowly pushed into me, cock disappearing as Gabriel drew closer to me.

The feeling was incredible. The look on Gabriel’s face was almost better.

I reached up to pull Gabriel down to kiss me. He slid an arm under my shoulder to pull me closer as he began to move. The angle of his thrust was causing the most amazing sensations and I locked my arms around his neck as I bucked helplessly against him. In the back of my mind was a faint thought that I should be embarrassed. As the pace quickened, we made wet, slick sounds. There was a slap of skin against skin and I knew this was the most exposed to another person I had ever been in my life. But I also felt so full and satisfied that I couldn’t look away. Gabriel was looking at me, and I felt like I was being seen for the first time in my life.

“You feel amazing,” he panted, leaning closer and kissing me again. I hooked a leg around him to pull him in deeper, swallowing his moans as I sucked his tongue. He broke the kiss, leaning down further to catch his breath as he kissed my throat. “Jin, it’s so hot.”

He raised his head to look at me again, and I let my hand brush against the hickey I had left. He closed his eyes momentarily, and I felt him shudder against me as I pressed it again.

His hand had found its way between us, wrapping around me and finding our rhythm, pumping as we rutted together. I felt my pleasure build to the breaking point, my breath coming in pants as I tried to keep up with his thrusts.

I tried to warn him, but all that I managed was a strangled cry. Clutching tightly to him, I convulsed as I came all over my stomach. I could feel him losing control, hips stuttering as he filled me before he collapsed.

We lay tangled together for a moment before Gabriel rolled us over, and I let my eyes drift closed, chest heaving as I caught my breath. I pushed up from the bed as my breath slowed and risked a glance down at his face.  

He had his eyes closed and lips parted, breath as ragged as mine was. I gently brushed his hair out of his face and he looked at me, eyes dark and half lidded. 

I could feel my cheeks heating up as his intense gaze bore into me. I was acutely aware that I had made a mess and I didn’t want to think about how it was now all over Gabriel.

“Sorry about, uh…” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him anymore and turned my face away.

Gabriel just smiled and bucked under me gently. The movement caused his softening cock to slip out and my breath caught in my throat at the sensation.

“Sex is supposed to be messy,” he said, pulling me down to kiss me again.

I broke the kiss to crawl off him when I started to feel cold. Gabriel reached for a packet on the bedside table and quickly wiped himself with a wet towel. His planning was kind of unexpected. I sat silently watching him out of the corner of my eye as he tied up the condom and threw it and the used towel in the bin. To my surprise, he then began to carefully clean me.

Without words, he gently pushed me down for better access and I shut my eyes. Now that I wasn’t distracted I felt embarrassed and when the cool towel dipped into my belly button I felt my face flame again. But the whole act was filled with such tenderness that I felt tears pricking at my eyes.

I blinked them back before Gabriel could notice. He had gotten up and hit the lights, leaving me to sit awkwardly in the dark, not sure what to expect next. He came back to bed, pulling me to my feet and lifting the covers.

“Hop in,” he said, urging me to crawl in first. I shuffled over to the wall and felt him slide in next to me. His warm body wrapped around mine as he pulled me to him. His lips were pressed against the back of my neck and I took a deep, steadying breath.

“I told you I’d make you feel good,” he murmured, and I felt myself smile in the dark.

“It felt incredible,” I told him, sliding my leg back between his as I tried to touch him as much as possible. “I want to do it again.” He laughed and squeezed me tighter for a moment.

“Such a stud,” he chuckled, nosing at my throat. He licked a long stroke of his tongue up my neck before biting down just below my ear. I shivered against him as his hands caressed me. I knew I wasn’t ready to go again straight away but I was not about to let the mood die just yet. I let my fingers trace up and down the arm that held me. Gabriel continued to nuzzle and kiss at my neck, and I stretched to give him ultimate access. He sucked lightly over my pulse and I was reminded of how he had sucked at my thigh. I felt blindly for the spot with my hand, pressing against the abused flesh when I found it.

“You gave me a hickey.” My tone sounded accusatory, but secretly I was pleased. Gabriel nipped at my throat in response.

“I think you’ll find yours is easier to hide in public,” he said dryly, and I felt a laugh bubble up as the arm holding me tightened.

“Sorry,” I apologised again. “I didn’t really think that through.”

Gabriel’s hand slid down my body until his fingers tangled in mine, brushing against my thigh where the bruise was blossoming.

“I’m just impressed you beat me. I was so confident I’d win that bet.”

I squirmed as I contemplated confessing my extra-curricular activities that day, but in the end decided that I didn’t need to give away all my cards.

“Let that be a lesson for you then; don’t underestimate me.” Gabriel chuckled at my high and mighty tone, but I wasn’t done with him yet.

I bent at the hips to press my ass into Gabriel’s groin and I was pleased to feel him twitch in response. I reached my hand back to stroke Gabriel’s hip lightly as I pressed back into him. I kind of wanted to do to him the things he did to me, but I was too shy to suggest it. That could wait, I decided, reaching between my legs to touch Gabriel and feeling him come back to life in my hand.

There was definitely a part of me that wanted to have power over him, the way he had power over me, but right now the desire to be filled by him again was overwhelming. Gabriel had bent down to kiss along my spine, and as I stroked him Gabriel’s hand had snaked around to tease my nipples.

He was heavy and hard in my hand as I pumped him slowly, letting my hand drag all the way to the tip. He was starting to leak again.

I moved away, twisting under the sheet and shuffling down to straddle Gabriel’s thigh. It felt good to press myself against him, and I curled over him to take him in my mouth as I rocked my hips.

Gabriel had let me roll him onto his back and I felt his fingers run through my hair, not pushing or pulling at me but just touching me as I sucked him. I had wrapped one hand around the base to hold him steady, but I let my other hand play, travelling softly over his balls, rolling them in my hand as I bobbed my head.

I darted a quick look up when I heard a muffled sound and was surprised to see that Gabriel had his hand pressed over his mouth. I felt my lips pull tight around him as I smiled. It was exhilarating that I could pull these reactions from him, and I wasn’t finished yet.

I sat up, rubbing him to mix my saliva with the weeping juices.

“Where did you get that condom from?” I asked, and Gabriel started to shift towards the bedside table.

“No, no, stay there,” I exerted all of my weight to hold him still, pushing both hands flat on his chest to keep him lying on the bed. “I’ll get it.” I could see them now; a strip of foil squares next to the wet wipes from earlier. I was pleased to see the lube there too, although the small tube was almost empty.

I stood with my back to Gabriel as I tore open a condom, rolling it gently to make sure I had it the right way before I pinched the tip and quickly put it on myself. I opened a second one and turned back to the bed, rolling it slowly over Gabriel’s erection before squeezing the last of the lube over him.  I straddled his hips, wrapping my hand around his cock to spread the clear gel before spreading my cheeks and smearing the excess lube on myself. I had been carefully avoiding Gabriel’s gaze. My eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that I felt nervous and exposed and I was sure that if I had to look at him I’d lose any confidence I had. I turned my face away as I held him steady, slowly lowering myself until he was pressed against my hole.

It felt wonderful just having him rub against me and I let out the tiniest sigh, which soon turned into a gasp as Gabriel bucked his hips, causing him to slip just the tip into me.

I closed my eyes and I started to sink slowly lower, focusing on the feeling of him sliding into me. I let myself down as far as I could before I looked at his face.

I had been worried that he would be judging me. I was so scared of being laughed at. But there was no judgment in his eyes. Rather, he was looking at me almost hungrily. Gabriel reached for me and I leaned into him as he brought me closer to crash his lips into mine.

I kissed him back briefly, enjoying the feel of his tongue sweeping against mine before I pushed him down again. I sat up and rolled my hips, watching with mounting glee as Gabriel moaned under me.

“Jesus…Jin…” his hands were reaching for me, grabbing my hips for traction as he bucked into me. I matched his thrusts, thighs straining as the pace quickened. My hands had been pushing against him for balance, but now that he was holding me upright I wrapped one around myself. I matched our pace, stroking myself as I bounced on him, feeling the familiar coiling sensation as my pleasure built.

It wasn’t long before I felt myself break for the third time today, and I gasped as I clenched around Gabriel again.

Fingers bit into my hips as Gabriel came moments later, thrusting into me desperately as he called my name.

I felt boneless as I slid off him sideways, turning to fall next to him as I struggled to catch my breath. I rested my hand against my forehead and registered that I was sweating. Who knew sex would be so athletic?

Gabriel lay panting beside me and I risked a look at him from around my arm. He had his eyes closed and I was gratified to see a sheen of sweat that was causing his pale hair to stick to him too. He opened his eyes as I watched and turned towards me, reaching out to pull my hand away. To my surprise, he kissed the back of my hand before gathering me to him in a hug.

“Fucking hell, Jin,” he murmured against my hair, and for a moment I was worried I’d done something wrong. “Were you a virgin or not?” I felt a laugh well up and it escaped before I could stop it.

“I was yesterday,” I smiled as he pulled back to look at me, a look of disbelief on his face. “I’ve just read a lot of books.” I assured him and he shook his head as he laughed, kissing my forehead before pushing up to survey the damage.

“I knew you’d be a good lay,” He said, reaching down to pull the condom carefully from me. “I didn’t realise you came pre-trained.” He tied it off and threw it in the bin before tending to himself.

“No mess this time!” I rolled over onto my stomach, gathering the pillow up to rest my cheek against. “I’m hungry,” I suddenly realised, and looked over at Gabriel as he fell back on the bed.

“You’re an animal.” He stretched and yawned. “I feel like I could sleep for a year.”

He lay down next to me, cuddling up to my side with an arm thrown casually across my lower back.

“Hey,” I knew this was probably not the time to talk, but it suddenly felt really important that I knew where I stood with him.

“Hmm?” he propped himself up and kissed my shoulder, waiting for me to continue.

“You know what you said before, about what you wanted.” I felt my stomach twist into knots as I thought about what I was doing.

“And I told you that I don’t separate sex and romantic feelings,” I said in a rush, trying to get it all out before I chickened out.

“Is this a confession?” he asked as I turned my head to avoid his gaze. “Because usually that comes before the sex part.” I felt my nervousness dissolving as I reached to slap him playfully.

“You’re crazy, and an asshole, and I’m _not_ in love with you,” I told him, and he sighed dramatically as he rolled on to his back. 

“I’m hurt Jin. And here I thought I’d finally seduced you.” He had placed his hands over his heart and pouted for a moment before his features relaxed again. My lips quirked into a smile as I watched his antics.

“I like you though,” I said, and he met my gaze as I reached out to trace lightly over his chest, letting my fingers brush against his hands. He smiled brilliantly at me and I felt my chest tighten in response.

“Even though I’m an asshole?”

I lay back down on the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut. “Maybe because...” I trailed off, trying not to think about the feeling in my chest. He reached out to place a hand on my shoulder as he turned serious for a moment.

“Jin, you’re new to this, so I’ll let you in on something.” I opened my eyes and we looked at each other without raising our heads from the pillow.

“You are shit at flirting.”

I laughed in spite of myself and Gabriel pulled me into another hug. Whatever I was doing with him was dangerous. I still didn’t know the extent of what he wanted from me, and I was seriously close to losing my heart to a demon. We ended up ordering the pizza and spent hours talking. Now that I was no longer trying to avoid Gabriel’s casual touches it was really relaxing to just lean into him, letting his hands caress and massage. I wondered about the outing planned for tomorrow with everyone. I guessed I would have to go back to maintaining some distance between us. I definitely didn’t want to tell my friends I was sleeping with Gabriel. This train of thought put me so obviously on edge that Gabriel asked me what was wrong. I briefly considered shrugging it off as nothing, but then on the spur of the moment I decided to just get it over with.

“Tomorrow when we’re in public, don’t touch me.” I was sitting in what was quickly becoming my favourite spot, between Gabriel’s legs and leaning back on his chest. He was lightly stroking up and down my arms but stilled when I made my declaration.

“Worried about your precious Hiroki?” he asked, drumming his fingers on my arms. His tone was light but there was a hard edge to the words that I chose to ignore.

Shifting myself to rub against him I pulled his arms over my shoulders to hug me, turning my face towards him.

“I just don’t want rumours flying around about us, that’s all.” He bent to kiss me, and I relaxed into him. I could feel him stirring, a pressure against my lower back that hadn’t been there before.

“Are they still rumours if they’re true?” he wondered aloud when we broke apart, and I laughed.

“Trust me; it’ll be easier this way. Let’s just keep it between us.” 

#


	6. Saturday part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you hate it when Saki touched me?”
> 
> “I hated it.” I admitted, my eyes closing as he continued to stroke and kiss me.
> 
> “Because you love me?” 
> 
> The game continues, and Jin is determined not to lose as Gabriel turns on the charm.

# Day Six: Ignorance is bliss (Saturday)

When I woke the next morning I felt a moment of confusion before remembering that I had slept in Gabriel’s bed. I stretched my limbs, feeling the burn in my thighs and a dull ache between my hips. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply as I let memories of the previous night replay in my mind. We had returned to his bedroom after dinner and Gabriel had bent me over the bed to fuck me again. The angle as he pounded into me had made me see stars and I had come on his cock, grasping at the sheets in front of me as his hands held my hips tightly. I lifted the sheet and glanced down, surprised to see that bruises decorated my hips. They were faint and didn’t hurt when I pressed them, but I couldn’t help smiling as I pictured Gabriel’s hands gripping me so tight it left physical evidence.

I let the sheet fall and turned to look at Gabriel. He was so peaceful looking I couldn’t help touching him. He moved in his sleep, tilting his face into my hand and I felt my heart thump in my chest.

“I don’t love you,” I told his sleeping face quietly, putting as much conviction as I could into the words. Gabriel made no response to my declaration and I tried to climb out without disturbing him by crawling to the end of the bed first. I was hindered slightly by my legs not quite working as I remembered. I had abused all kinds of new muscles last night and I thought longingly of relaxing in a hot bath.

Instead I washed my face in the bathroom upstairs, drying with a towel before peering into my eyes in the mirror.

It was strange. I felt so different, but I looked exactly the same. They were the same eyes in the same face, but behind them I was a swirl of new emotions born from the last 24 hours.

 _Or the last week_ , I thought to myself wryly. Gabriel had turned my life completely upside-down in such a short time and I was still reeling.

“You’re not in love with him,” I told myself sternly in the mirror. “You’re just confused because he makes you feel good.”

I returned to my room to pull on a shirt and some underwear before going downstairs to make coffee and wait for a reasonable hour to wake up the demon.

I was surprised when he came down of his own accord a little less than an hour later. I had been eating cold pizza in the living room when the door slid open. Wearing wrinkled pyjama bottoms but no shirt, he slumped at my feet and demanded coffee.

“Alright, I’ll make you coffee, but you need to _get off me._ ” I heaved at his shoulder; he had fallen across my lap and the dead weight was pinning me to the ground. He looked up at me with sleepy eyes.

“You left me,” he whined, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“I came downstairs; I wouldn’t call that abandonment.” His eyes had slipped closed again and I unconsciously reached down to run my fingers through his hair.

“I missed you.” He rolled towards me, arms wrapping around my waist as he pressed his face into my stomach. I froze, hardly daring to breathe as he nuzzled me. My fingers were still in his hair, frozen in shock as I felt his breath warm me through my shirt.

“ _Stop_ ,” I whispered. My heart was hammering in my chest as I tried to slide my legs out from under him. “I’ll bring coffee, so just wait here ok?”

He let me pry his arms away and I carefully lowered his head to the tatami. Pausing in the doorway, I cast a glance back at him before sliding the door closed again. In the interest of protecting myself I really needed to talk to him about imposing another boundary on our interactions. I had thought originally that the endearing way Gabriel acted towards me wouldn’t be an issue. I felt weird about the concept of loveless sex: it went against everything I thought I believed in. But I also knew that falling for Gabriel would not end well, and if Gabriel kept treating me this way I wouldn’t be able to lie to myself for much longer.

He was still dozing when I returned with the coffee. I deliberately sat on the opposite side of the table and nudged him with my foot to wake him up.

“Oi, drink your coffee,” I called, poking him in the leg with my pointed toes until he groaned and rolled over.

“S’not very romantic,” he mumbled, raising himself on his arms and looking over the table at me.

I shrugged and sipped at my second cup of coffee, choosing to let the comment slide.

“We’ve got hours until we need to be anywhere,” I said as he sat up and pulled his coffee towards him. “Want to go out for breakfast?”

He nodded as he blew on the coffee, taking a sip and immediately sitting up a little straighter.

“Yeah, sounds good.” He propped his elbow on the table, resting his head on his hand as he looked over at me. He was looking more awake already and I wondered how much of his morning sleepy antics were an act.

“…what?” I asked, dodging his gaze and trying to drink my coffee without spilling it.

“I had dreams about you last night.”

I cleared my throat, fidgeting under his stare.

“Those weren’t dreams, idiot.” I felt my face flush as he started to smirk at me.

“Oh, trust me. I can tell the difference between a dream and reality.” He leaned closer and I tightened my grip on coffee. “Besides, if we had done everything I imagined last night, I think I’d be feeling it in some strange places this morning.” He winked at me, and I choked on my coffee.

“W-what?” I spluttered, and his lazy grin widened.

“Speaking of, how do _you_ feel this morning?” He watched me over his coffee and I put my mug down on the table. I felt almost giddy under his gaze and I was in danger of spilling the hot liquid with my shaking hands.

“I’m fine.” I shifted my legs underneath the table. “I don’t hurt, if that’s what you mean,” I added as he took another sip, observing me carefully.

“That’s good then.” He finally looked away and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I picked up my coffee and finished it quickly, announcing that I was going to have a quick shower before we went out.

#

We ended up eating at a family restaurant near the station. It was my first time seeing Gabriel dressed casually outside the house and I had been rendered momentarily speechless when he’d first wandered back downstairs in jeans and a wide-necked sweatshirt. The bruise on his neck had started to fade but was still unmistakably a hickey, and it was completely visible in this outfit. I had told him there was no way he was going out like that, and he had replied that A: he hated collars, B: it was the weekend and C: he would wear whatever the hell he liked. In the end I had cut a square of sticking plaster and pressed it over the mark, perhaps a little too roughly, telling him to think of a convincing excuse before the first person noticed and asked him about it.

I watched him from the corner of my eye as we ate our breakfast. After I had made a fuss and covered the mark, he had produced a jacket that fortunately obscured the plaster. I frowned at him now, recalling how he had teased me on the walk to the station. What was wrong with keeping some things private? Just because I didn’t want to tell the world what I was up to…

Gabriel noticed me fall silent and stole a piece of bacon from my plate.

“Hey!” I moved way too late to save my breakfast; he’d already brought it to his mouth.

“It’s not like it’s that great anyway,” he said as he chewed and swallowed. “Seriously, this is not even bacon.” He frowned down at the last of his breakfast. “You should come visit me in Australia, I’ll show you a proper breakfast.”

I gave up trying to shush him. Fortunately, the restaurant wasn’t busy and no one overheard his rude comments. I sighed and pushed the limp salad of my breakfast set around my plate. We had plenty of time, but I thought if we caught the train in early I could show him around the city a bit.

“Let’s go,” I said suddenly, pushing aside my plate and standing up. Gabriel drained the last of his twice-refilled coffee before rising to his feet.

“You’re keen,” he observed, but I ignored him as I grabbed the check and moved to the counter to pay.

After a quick scan of the map I found us the right platform and soon we were on a train bound for the city. For mid-morning on a weekend it was surprisingly uncrowded and Gabriel and I found a seat together. He was turned sideways, body angled towards me as he looked out the window. I watched his face as the world rushed by, noticing the little details, like how his long eyelashes curled upwards, and the dark speckles in his brown eyes. I found myself unconsciously leaning closer to him until his eyes shifted to meet my gaze.

“See something you like?” he asked quietly, and I unconsciously licked my lips. The wicked smirk that spread across his face brought me out of my daze, and I looked away without comment. We rode the rest of the way in silence before getting out at a crowded platform.

“This way!” I called, grabbing his sleeve and trying not to lose him in the sudden crush of people as we made our way to the escalators. “We’re here early, what do you want to do?” I asked as we walked towards the exit.

He considered it as I tried to ignore the stares he was getting. His blond hair and tall stature attracted enough attention at school, but out in the real world he looked like a celebrity.

“Let’s go on a date,” he announced suddenly as he dragged me towards a department store entrance. I stumbled to keep up until he slowed his pace to match mine, and we wandered in. I chose to ignore his choice of words for the moment. Looking around, I spotted a floor guide and moved towards it.

“Do you want to buy anything in particular?” I asked, scanning the guide for inspiration and trying not to think about the word “date”.

“I want a new wallet.” Even though this was the first he’d mentioned it he sounded committed. I quickly scanned the guide for men’s accessories and directed him to follow me to the 3rd floor.

Gabriel attracted the attention of the entire floor when he walked in. We spent at least thirty minutes letting an enthusiastic sales clerk show Gabriel every wallet they had in stock. In the beginning she had been very polite but as time wore on and Gabriel turned to ask my opinion more and more she reserved her smiles for Gabriel alone, becoming decidedly less friendly towards me.

“What about this one, Jin?” he asked, pointing to a black leather one with gold accents.

I cast an eye over it as the sales clerk brought it out. I wondered if it felt as soft as it looked and reached out instinctively to touch it. My fingers stroked lightly over the cover; it was beautifully soft.

“It’s nice,” I said generally, stroking it once more to feel the smooth leather under my fingertips. I actually really liked it. I preferred the classically simple over the more decorative designs we had looked at earlier. I was surprised that Gabriel seemed to pick up on that.

“Do you have two of these in stock?” Gabriel asked, and the flustered girl stammered that she would check.

“Great, thanks.” She returned the wallet to the display case before disappearing out the back. I turned to Gabriel questioningly.

“Why do you need two?” I asked as he trailed his fingers up my arm to toy with my shirt sleeve.

“I don’t, one’s for you.”

I was too surprised to stop him when he stepped closer.

“I don’t need you to buy me a present,” I told him as he continued to tug at my sleeve.

“I know.”

He pulled me closer and I held my breath as we locked eyes.

“I’m doing it because I want too.” If I just leaned forward a fraction I could close the distance between us. 

I jumped when I heard the sales girl come back. I could see her over Gabriel’s shoulder, holding a single box and apologising. Gabriel had let go of my shirt, stroking down to my arm and letting his hand drop as he turned towards her, listening to her explain that they only had one left out the back and the one opened for display we had looked at.

“That’s fine, I’ll take that one too,” he said easily, and her face registered her relief as she took the wallet back out, placing it carefully in its box and ringing them both up. I drifted away as Gabriel paid for them, trying not to notice the total or how he put it all on his card without batting an eye. We found a spot to sit down and Gabriel dug the brand new wallet out of the bag.

“Chuck me your wallet,” he said, opening the sealed box as I hesitated. I dug my wallet out of my bag and held it out tentatively.

“You should have the new one,” I protested, but he shook his head.

“The untouched one is for you.”

He opened my old wallet and I watched as he removed the cards, notes and coins, transferring them all over. He didn’t even hesitate as he got to the photo of Hiro that was tucked behind my school ID. Gabriel pulled it out and I watched as he held my new wallet open to slide the photo in.

“Wait!” my hand shot out and I had grabbed Gabriel’s hand before I really registered what I was doing. He paused with my hand over his and looked at me silently.

I shook my head, unable to articulate what I wanted to say but I knew I didn’t want to put that photo in the wallet Gabriel had bought me. He handed me the photo silently and I tucked it back in its spot as Gabriel closed my new wallet and presented it to me.

“For you, sweet Jin.” I accepted it with both hands. It really was unbelievably soft. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Thank you.” He smiled at me as I turned it over to admire it again. I loved it. Gabriel had pulled his own wallet out to do the same. I turned my new possession over in my hands as he transferred everything over. As I watched he put his old, empty wallet into the box and deposited it unceremoniously in a nearby bin.

I didn’t find it surprising that he could throw away something so easily, but I did feel a twinge of sadness. I looked down at the old and new wallets on my lap. I had been using this wallet for three years now, and the thought of throwing it away here made me feel uneasy. In the end I put both back in my bag and threw away the empty box. I found it hard to meet Gabriel’s eye after that. Why did it feel like keeping Hiro’s photo was a betrayal? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I needed a distraction or I was going to go crazy.

I jumped up to check the floor guide again and noticed that there was a cat cafe on the tenth floor. Gabriel, with his short attention span, seemed like the kind of person who’d enjoy chasing cats and I grabbed his hand to drag him to his feet.

#

I had been right. We ended up spending well over an hour at the cat cafe, trying to coax our favourite cat from the group to show us some love.

Gabriel had been surprisingly patient with his chosen cat, sitting still and letting the little grey and white come closer of his own accord. I had watched him in disbelief as I had much less luck with my own favourite who would walk right up to me to rub against my leg, but scoot away every time I tried to pet him.

We had been so absorbed in playing that the time got away from us and we ended up rushing out of the store to head to the gardens.

Despite heading straight there, we were still the last to arrive at the park entrance and Saki chastised us for our tardiness.

“Sorry, we were playing with cats.” Gabriel explained, and the girls immediately went gooey as they gushed over how adorable cats were and how they wished we had all gone together.

“No Takuya today?” I asked Hiro, who explained that the soccer coach was demanding every waking minute of Takuya’s free time. I felt a wave of sympathy for him at being stuck at practice on a beautiful day like today, but I guessed he wouldn’t be there if he hated it.

The day was warming up and as we walked through the gate I noticed Gabriel removing his jacket. I held my breath waiting for someone to notice the plaster but he had slowed his pace and re-joined the group on the outside edge. I breathed a sigh of relief; it was hidden from view for now.

We walked down a cherry blossom-carpeted avenue and admired the sunlight filtering through the trees. Everyone was chatting happily but I hung back to watch the petals dance on the breeze. It really was beautiful here. We ended up slowly walking most of the park before coming to the lake. As soon as the girls spotted the pedal boats and begged to go on them. My thighs hurt just thinking about it and I respectfully declined, announcing that I would set up the blanket on the hill and watch them from there.

#

I lay back on the blanket and relaxed in peace. The sunlight filtering through the trees was bright and I threw an arm across my face to shield my eyes as I thought about the events of the morning. Gabriel was continuing to surprise me and it was leaving me very confused. Why did he buy me a wallet? He may have noticed at any time during the past week that mine was looking worn out, but would someone normally just buy you a new one for that reason? I smiled wryly to myself as I reflected that trying to understand Gabriel by applying the rules of regular people was not going to get me very far.

I could hear someone approaching and I peered out from under my arm just in time to see Gabriel flop down next to me.

“ _Jiiin_ ,” he whined and I turned my face towards him. He was flat on his back, arms and legs wide and taking up most of the blanket. “Saki made me do all the pedalling. My legs are killing me.”

I scoffed at him as I lowered my arm. “What do you want _me_ to do about it?” I asked him coldly. “If you keep flirting with the girls they’re obviously going to chase you.”

“Sweet Jin.” I shut my eyes again as his voice softened. “Don’t be jealous. You know you’re my favourite.”

“Don’t,” I said firmly, feeling my hands curl into fists at my sides. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” I could hear the question in his voice and I knew he would have his head cocked to the side, a puzzled expression on his face.

 “Just don’t.”

There was a sound of fabric rustling and then a warm weight rested on my stomach. I risked a glance and saw that Gabriel had moved around to lay with his head cushioned on me.

“Get off.” I pushed at his shoulder but there was no power in it. I was too relaxed in the warm sunshine to really be bothered, and deep down I actually kind of liked it. I turned my hand to stroke the back of my fingers softly against his neck. I could feel the edge of the plaster.

“I’d love to get off,” came his lazy reply, and I felt a rush of heat in my face as he continued. “But we’re in public and I doubt it would go down well.”

I stopped touching him to cover my face again.

“You’re so crude.”

“You love it.”

“I don’t.” I said firmly, and I felt him shrug.

“Gabriel! You ran away and left me!” Saki’s accusing voice called as she approached, and I felt Gabriel shift as he looked over at her.

“Jin is nursing me back to health after you nearly killed me.” He whined, and I reached down again to flick him on the shoulder as Saki laughed.

“Mother Jin,” she said, and I opened an eye to peer at her. “You always were the maternal one.”

“Was not. Don’t confuse being sensible with caring,” I countered. Gabriel shifted again and I groaned when he put pressure on my stomach. “Either stop fidgeting or get off me.”

Gabriel laughed and the weight disappeared. I felt a moment of disappointment, but as I sat up Gabriel shifted to rest his head on my thigh. The movement caused his hair to fall in in his eyes and I fought the urge to brush it away as I looked around.  

“Hiro and Miya not back yet?”

Saki was sitting with her legs tucked under her, picking at the grass next to the blanket edge.

“Still on the lake, I think,” Saki offered, with a sideways glance at Gabriel.

“My legs were sore, woman. Maybe if you pedalled once in a while we’d still be out there too,” he pouted, and I patted his head patronisingly. Saki smiled and conceded that he was probably right.

“Are you sure you don’t want a go on the boats, Jin?” Saki asked, and to my surprise Gabriel laughed.

“Yeah, right. Are _you_ going to pedal for him?” Tilting his head back he looked up at me. “Or maybe Hiroki will take him out for a spin?” he chuckled again as I glared down at him.

“Jin might look like a girl but he’s always had pretty strong legs.” Saki countered levelly. “He did Judo for years. Used to crush walnuts with his thighs.”

“Saki!” I felt my face flame as Gabriel laughed and winked at me.

“Is that so? No wonder your leg is so uncomfortable.”

I clicked my tongue in annoyance, leaning back and jiggling my leg to shake him off.

“Get off then, I didn’t ask to be your pillow.” He didn’t move though, just whined and reached up to try and hold my leg still as he closed his eyes again. I sighed, resigned to leave him there. Suddenly I looked back over to Saki.

“What do you mean, ‘looks like a girl’?” I accused, and they both laughed at me as Saki leaned closer.

“It’s your womanly hips that do it,” she said, reaching over Gabriel to slap me on the hip. I couldn’t help shrinking away from her touch. Fortunately, Saki didn’t notice, but I saw Gabriel frown as he felt the movement.

“Let’s go eat,” I suggested, reaching down to poke Gabriel in the ribs. He actually giggled and flinched away from me before finally sitting up.

“You two get along well,” Saki commented, and I felt a moment of panic, turning my back on her to gather up the blanket.

“That’s because I’m his Obi Wan. I’m teaching him The Ways of the Force,” Gabriel announced. He had come up behind me and pinned my arms to my sides in a bear hug. The blanket trailed uselessly from my hands and I let it drop as I turned my head towards him.

“Does that mean my father’s going to kill you soon? I might be okay with that,” I deadpanned, and he laughed and lifted me off the ground, spinning us around before releasing me.

“Is that a reference to something?” Saki looked confused as she glanced between us and I shook my head.

“Just ignore him.” I shook my head at him. “He’s an idiot. Help me with this.” I gestured to the blanket and Saki helped me fold it while Gabriel stretched and yawned. “Can you text Miya to meet us in the café?” I asked Saki as I tucked the blanket back into the bag. She nodded and pulled out her phone and I moved closer to Gabriel as we made our way down the hill.

Saki had pulled ahead of us and I reached out to tug on Gabriel’s sleeve.

“ _What are you doing_?” I whispered urgently, my panic bubbling over now that we didn’t have an audience.

“Relax,” he whispered back. “No one thinks we’re boning.” He blew me a kiss and I watched in disbelief as he caught up to Saki. She immediately linked arms with him and started telling him all about how the café’s dessert parfaits were to die for. Gabriel shot me a sly look as I fell into step beside them.

“I do have a weakness for sweet things.”

I tried to ignore him as we found a large table outside. The café looked over the lake and I could see Hiro and Miya getting out of a swan pedal boat. Thank God they’d be back with us soon. Saki was usually pretty perceptive and given the playful mood Gabriel seemed to be in I didn’t want to risk spending too much time with just the three of us.  

We were reunited soon enough and I quickly decided what to have. I left my order in Miya’s capable hands and excused myself for the bathroom, quietly slipping away from the table. I wished we hadn’t come out today. As I had stood up I had seen Saki leaning on Gabriel’s shoulder as they shared a menu and I was seething. It was unfair that Saki could just casually touch him and I couldn’t.  

I really did need the bathroom though, and I quickly used the stall before washing my hands and stopping to stare at myself in the mirror again. I kept expecting to see someone different staring back at me, but my reflection was unchanged. I jumped when the door opened and Gabriel came in.

“Loitering in public bathrooms,” he tskked, coming up behind me and letting his hands travel up my sides. The fabric of my shirt started to rise and I tugged it back down. “Jin,” He said seriously, staring at me through the mirror as I tried to avoid his gaze.

I dropped my hands and allowed him to lift my shirt. He whistled long and low when he saw the bruises.

“I thought you said you didn’t hurt.” He let my shirt fall as I turned to face him. He was standing so close I brushed against him as I moved.

“They don’t hurt. Even if it did,” I leered up at him, pushing off the sink to press my crotch against him. “For the look on your face last night, it would be worth it.” Gabriel’s eyes smouldered and I bit my lip.

“Can we go home now?” he asked hungrily, and I shook my head.

“Nope.” I put my hands on his shoulders to lean up and whisper in his ear.

“Let’s just have a nice lunch, and,” I licked his ear, relishing the feeling as he quivered under my touch, “If you stop letting Saki put her hands all over you, I might do it again.”

I ducked under his arm and left the bathroom with my head held high as Gabriel held on to the sink. I would probably pay for my insolence but the despairing moan from him had been worth it.

We got through the meal and I was gratified to see that Gabriel maintained a respectful distance from Saki for the duration. I had been speechless with fear when Saki asked Gabriel pointedly about the plaster, but he had told her that he’d been scratched by one of the cats earlier. I breathed a sigh of relief as she accepted his easy lie, although my relief soon turned to annoyance when she made a fuss about it.

After lunch we managed to break up the party and started to make our way home. The girls wanted to shop now that they were in town and Hiro had “plans” that he didn’t disclose but sounded suspiciously to me like they involved his secret girlfriend. I frowned as he disappeared across the street, wondering just how long he was going to keep lying to his friends.

I was happy to split off with Gabriel under the pretext of showing him the city, but really we just headed back to the station. As soon as we were out of earshot, Gabriel leaned heavily on my shoulder and complained about how he had wanted to feed me bites of his dessert.

“We should go out again, without everyone else,” he said and, secretly, I agreed, although out loud I pointed out that we could be alone at the house just as easy as anywhere else. He instantly perked up and asked if we could go shopping for ingredients for parfait and I heaved a sigh as I acquiesced.

Almost two hours later we were finally home. We had stopped at a nearby supermarket and Gabriel had excitedly purchased a random assortment of sweet things to construct parfaits. I had noticed him sneaking a few extra items into our basket this time, including a much larger container of lubricant, more condoms and wet wipes. I refused to go through the checkout with him although I did open my new wallet and press a bundle of notes into his hand to pay for everything. It gave me a perverse feeling of satisfaction that I was spending the money my mother had left for us on sex supplies. As I waited in the bagging area I wished there was a more private way to purchase these necessary items. I felt self-conscious and embarrassed as I watched them being scanned, although Gabriel didn’t seem at all flustered. It made me wonder if he had ever been bashful or if he was just used to it now.

From the moment we’d left everyone in town Gabriel literally hadn’t left my side. Everywhere we went he had been touching me in some way, casually resting his hand on the small of my back, or leaning over my shoulder while we grocery shopped. As I put the food away in the fridge I felt a thrill of excitement as I got down to the last three items. I wondered what might be in store for me later. He had vanished to the bathroom when we got home and he reappeared now, loitering in the doorway as I shut the fridge.

“What do you want to do with these?” I asked, holding out the bag to him as he silently raised an eyebrow at my question. I blushed deeply at the look and amended my statement.

“I mean, where do you want to keep them.” He stepped closer until we were chest to chest, taking the bag from me. I let him take it and I heard him drop it back on the counter before reaching up to run his fingers through my hair.

“Did I manage to keep Saki’s hands off me?” He was so close that his murmured words caused his lips to brush against mine.

“Yes,” I whispered back, waiting for him to close the gap and kiss me, but instead he turned my head to lick my ear before continuing.

“Did you hate it when Saki touched me?” he whispered in my ear and I shivered.

Wrapping my arms around him for support as he backed us towards the wall, I had to swallow before I could answer him.  I felt a hand travel up my side, pushing my shirt up as he caressed me.

“I hated it,” I admitted, my eyes closing as he continued to stroke and kiss me.

“Were you jealous?” he was still whispering in my ear, palming the bulge in my pants. I gasped softly, eyes squeezed tight as he licked just below my ear.  

“Yes,” I confessed breathlessly as his thumb rubbed against me. I felt him smile against my neck before he drew back.

“Because you love me?” He asked softly, and my eyes flew open just as his lips closed over mine. Instead of trying to answer I kissed him back, pushing back against him even as he pressed me into the wall. I had hooked my leg around him to pull him closer and the pressure against the bruise on my thigh felt good as I let my hands travel over him.

He kissed me until I was breathless, but he wasn’t to be distracted from his mission.

“Answer the question, Jin,” he whispered as we broke apart, but I pulled him back to kiss him again, fisting my hands in his shirt to spin us around.

I pushed him back against the wall, letting my hands run down his body as I sunk to my knees. Bracing my hands on his thighs, I closed my mouth over the bulge and exhaled slowly. I felt Gabriel shudder as my breath warmed him, and while he was distracted I undid his belt buckle, quickly undoing his fly and pulling his erection free.

Before he could stop me I guided him into my mouth, taking him in as deep as I could as I gently stroked his balls. I heard him moan above me, and fingers gently tangled in my hair as I began to bob my head.

I flattened my tongue to push against him as I wrapped one hand around him to hold him steady. Gabriel had slid further down the wall as his knees bent and I couldn’t help smiling when I heard him bump his head against the wall.

I had started to pump him into my mouth, concentrating all of my efforts on the sensitive tip as my other hand slipped between his legs to stroke there. He moaned long and low as I continued my ministrations, tilting my head back to rub him against the roof of my mouth.

“Fuck, Jin.” I felt him shudder as he called my name, and his hand slipped from my hair to grip my shoulder. “Fuck me that feels so good.”

I increased the pace, hollowing my cheeks and stroking gently between his legs. I could feel him trembling and it made me smile to know how badly he was affected. I hummed in satisfaction and above me Gabriel moaned as the vibrations moved through him.

I felt him push against my shoulder, a gentle pressure to try and push me away but I wasn’t interested in stopping.

“Jin,” He was starting to sound breathless. I hummed again, and above me I heard his breath hitch before he continued. “Jin, you need to stop before I come.”

In answer I took him deeper, closing my eyes to concentrate as I worked at him.

The grip on my shoulder tightened as he moaned again. It wasn’t long before I felt his balls contract and then the first spurt against the back of my throat. Above me Gabriel swore, his grip on my shoulders tightening as he bucked his hips. I felt my throat constrict but I managed not to choke as the strong, bitter taste flooded my mouth. I swallowed several times, feeling Gabriel tremble above me as I sucked him clean. Suddenly Gabriel’s hands were reaching to pull me to my feet, and before I could react he had brought his lips crashing down on mine, tongue sweeping into my mouth as he switched to push me back against the wall.

He was short of breath and pulled away quickly.

“Jesus Christ, Jin.” He paused to catch his breath as I braced myself against the wall. His jeans were still undone and hanging loosely around his hips. “You’re so fucking good at that.”

I felt my chest swell with pride at his praise.

“I learned from the best,” I answered cockily, sliding my hands around his neck to bring him back for another kiss. He laughed against my lips before submitting to their gentle pressure.

“God you’re sexy,” he moaned as he leaned into me, hands slipping under my shirt as he kissed down my neck.

“So you keep saying,” I told him, “but I really don’t see it.”

“Trust me, you are.” Gabriel was pressing lightly on the bruises on my hips, lining his fingertips up with the marks before bucking against me. “I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you. I was devastated when you went home that night.”

“We were _in public_ ,” I told him sternly.

“I had a _hotel room_ ,” He replied, imitating my tone but rolling his eyes at me.

“Oh.” That brought me up short. I cast my mind back to that final interaction, remembering my annoyance at how I was dirty and rumpled and had to ride the train, and Gabriel was just artfully tousled and was going up to his room. _Oh._ “Whoops.”

I smiled, shrugging my shoulders as Gabriel watched the penny drop. 

“That’s why you’re my sweet Jin,” he said, returning to nibbling at my neck. _What does that mean though?_ I thought, relaxing in his arms as Gabriel continued to pepper me with kisses.

“Are we dating?” I asked aloud, and as soon as the words were out I wished I hadn’t said anything. I stiffened under Gabriel’s hands but he continued to suck gently below my ear before replying.

“In the sense that sometimes we go out.” 

“You know what I mean.” He didn’t answer me.

 “Are you my boyfriend?” I pressed, and he finally stopped to reply.

“You didn’t answer my question. Why should I answer yours?”

He had taken a half step back to do up his jeans and as he moved away I let my hands drop to my sides.

“Please, Gabriel.”

He sighed. “No, I’m not your boyfriend. Glad we cleared that up.” He had finished with his jeans but he was still hanging back. I reached for him automatically, moving closer to lock my hands behind his neck and pressing closer to him.

“What are we doing then, if you’re not my boyfriend?” he didn’t avoid my gaze, and the fact that he could look me in the eyes and say these things was even more hurtful than the alternative. 

“We’re having fun, Jin. Just relax and enjoy it.” His hands had stilled as I interrogated him, but now they returned to gently caressing me.  “The way I see it, giving it a label just adds unnecessary pressure.” He leant closer, punctuating his speech with kisses.

“If you make a commitment to someone,” He pressed a kiss to my temple and I felt my heart pounding. “Then you feel obligated to stay with them,” He kissed my cheek. “Even if you don’t enjoy being with them anymore.”

The next kiss fell on my jaw, and I closed my eyes as he began to play with my hair, lifting my fringe and brushing it aside with his fingertips before skimming down to trace my lips. My lips parted automatically under his touch, and he moved to cradle my jaw as he gently kissed me. It was slow and deliberate, and despite his cold words I felt affection in the tender way he moved with me.

I felt my defences crumbling as he pressed me up against the wall again. I desperately wanted him to tell me he loved me. I wanted him to be mine. But I knew if I asked him the same question he kept asking me that his answer would be ‘no”, and I knew my heart wouldn’t be able to take it. I was going to regret it in the future, but right now I just let myself give in to his kisses. I worried that once I answered him, this game would be over for him and he’d leave for someone else.

He broke the kiss, tenderly stroking my cheek until I opened my eyes.

“Come upstairs,” he whispered, and he reached down to twine his fingers through mine before grabbing the bag from the counter and pulling me towards the hallway.

I followed half a step behind him, my eyes fixed on our joined hands as we made our way up to his room. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions and I needed time by myself to think through everything, but it didn’t look like Gabriel intended to leave me alone.

He stopped by the bed, releasing my hand and depositing the bag on the bedside table before climbing onto the bed and collapsing. He turned his face to the side, reaching up to pat the pillow by his head.

“Come and lie with me.” He rolled over as I approached, and as I lay down he scooped an arm under my shoulders to pull me close. “You’re the perfect cuddling size,” he sighed into my shoulder, and I shifted to get more comfortable.

“You’re so clingy,” I said peevishly, but I was relieved when he didn’t move away. I could feel his lips curve into a smile where they pressed against my neck.

“You’re just so irresistible I can’t help myself,” he murmured, and I felt myself smile in spite of my serious mood. I doubted I would ever get Gabriel to admit that he had feelings, but as long as I never admitted out loud how he was affecting my heart then at least I could hang on to my pride.

“You never answered my question earlier.” I froze as he murmured his accusation against my neck. Was he a mind reader?

“Why do you keep asking? It’s not like it’s important to you.” I felt his lips move as he smirked. He licked me before sucking gently over my pulse.

“Isn’t it important to you? I want you to enjoy yourself.” His teeth scraped lightly over my fluttering pulse before he continued. “I don’t want you distracted by unnecessary guilty feelings.” My cock twitched as his hands moved against me, slipping lower to caress me through my jeans.

“I don’t feel guilty.” That wasn’t strictly true, and he called me on it straight away.

“ _Liar_.” The word was a breath against my throat and I pulled back to look at him. When I moved he’d lain back on the pillow, face turned towards me.

“Okay, I feel a little bit guilty. But that’s my problem, isn’t it? _You_ don’t need to love someone to have sex with them.” He had reached up to caress me, letting his upward strokes tug my shirt higher until a strip of pale flesh was exposed.

“So you don’t love me?” His hand was splayed on my stomach. It felt warm and comforting and I screwed my eyes shut as I tried to focus.

“I meant what I said yesterday,” I opened my eyes to look at him. “I like you. We are officially friends.”

“Friends, huh?”

I nodded as he moved to open my fly one-handed.

“And what about Hiroki?”

I gasped as he gently freed my erection and trailed his fingers along the hard length.

“What about Hiro?” I blushed; it felt wrong to say his name while Gabriel was touching me like this. Gabriel readjusted himself, sliding his arm out from under me as he shifted down the bed.

“Aren’t you in love with him?” he had been moving lower and I felt his breath warm me as he brought his lips closer to lightly kiss my cock.

_Am I still in love with Hiro?_

I couldn’t answer him, and my eyes squeezed shut as his hand closed around me and pumped slowly.

“Do you want to do this with him?” He asked, voice just above a whisper before he licked the bead of precome from the tip.

“I want to do it with you,” I heard myself answer, and I was rewarded by Gabriel taking me into his mouth. It felt amazing as his tongue stroked against me firmly before swirling around the tip. My hands fisted in the sheets as he slowly began to pump me again.

It was so hot and wet in his mouth that I couldn’t help remembering the things Gabriel had said yesterday when he’d fucked me. Was it hotter down there than a mouth? What did it feel like? I couldn’t supress my moan as the pace gradually increased. I grabbed fistfuls of the sheet as he continued to pump me. I was coming undone fast, but above the pleasure all I could think about was, _what would Gabriel feel like_? I felt my face burning and I covered it with my hands as Gabriel brought me closer to breaking point.

The angle changed as he took me deeper and my hips began to stutter helplessly. My release came quickly and I cried out in pleasure as Gabriel swallowed around me. My cries had been muffled against my hands and Gabriel must have noticed.  

“Jin?” He sounded concerned and I felt the bed move as he planted a hand either side of my head, but I refused to look at him.

“Why are you blushing?” I felt him try to pry my hands from my face but I rolled away from him, curling my legs up to my chest. He started to rub my back in small circles as he continued in obvious confusion. “You had my dick down your throat half an hour ago. What could you possibly be embarrassed about?”

That just made me blush harder; how could he say such crude things? There was no way I could voice my thoughts like that. I heard Gabriel heave a sigh as he rolled me back towards him, doing up my jeans before pulling my shirt down to cover me completely.  

“If you’re going to be so shy I’ll have to think of something else to do all afternoon.” He swung a leg off the bed and I risked a glance through my fingers at him. “I wonder what’s on TV?” he said thoughtfully, and I moved to grab his wrist, holding him on the bed but not exerting any pressure to pull him back.

“Don’t go,” I asked, forcing myself to meet his gaze.

He climbed back onto the bed and straddled me, but he kept his hands to himself as I repositioned my head on the pillow.

“Something on your mind, Jin?” he asked lightly.

“I think you forget this is all still new to me,” I told him accusingly, and he offered me a smile.

“But you’re doing so well,” he replied, bucking his hips against me as I reached up to touch him. “I want you to tell me what you want, Jin.” He leaned down to kiss me and I let him control the kiss as he reached under my shirt.

No way. Nu uh. Not happening. I would die of shame if Gabriel could hear my inner most thoughts. I felt guilty about the shameful things I wanted to do to him. He broke the kiss, but continued to caress me. His thumbs were brushing over my nipples, causing them to harden under his touch.

“Should I tell you what I want?”

I considered this for a moment before nodding once.

“I want you to sit on my dick again.” He hiked my shirt up to reveal the pale bruises over my hips.

I watched as he traced the outline of the discoloration with his fingertip.

“I want to make these marks darker. I want to film it so I can watch it over and over again.” He shifted down a few inches so that he could caress lower. “I want you to call my name when I make you come.”

I felt myself blush again, but I didn’t cover my face this time.

“You hardly ever say my name,” he accused, and I shrugged helplessly.

“It feels strange,” I said, and he scrunched up his nose adorably.

“Why? It’s just a word.”

“It’s the name of an angel,” I said, adding uncertainly, “I don’t think it suits you.”

He laughed at that, throwing his head back before looking back down at me.

“What would suit me then?”

_Demon._

I just shrugged; honestly, I didn’t think I could call him a demon out loud either.

“Ok, let’s try something different.”

Gabriel shifted off me and pulled me upright, urging me to switch places with him. He lay down and directed me to straddle him.

“I’ll be you and you be me, ok?”

“What?” I stared down at him in confusion.

“Pretend you’re me. You want to bone the gorgeous boy between your legs. You’re not embarrassed to say what you want. You shamelessly call your lover’s name when you come.”

He bucked his hips and I felt a jolt in my groin. I was terrified but so turned on.

“I can’t-“ I started to say, but before I could finish Gabriel was already talking over me.

“I’m too shy! You’re so sexy but I’m not brave enough to take you!” He had pitched his voice higher and thrown an arm over to cover his eyes. Even my embarrassment wasn’t strong enough to prevent me from slapping him on the shoulder.

“Jerk. You’re doing me all wrong.” In spite of my complaint I was smiling at him.

“I’m doing better than you,” he replied huffily as he lowered his arm.  “Why am I still wearing pants?”

“Stage fright. I’m too nervous.”

“I won’t look at you then.” He squeezed his eyes shut and I reached down to cover his eyes with my hand.

“You’ll peek though; I know you will. You like to watch.” I felt his eyelashes brush against my palm and I lifted my hand.

“You’re right,” he conceded. “You’ll have to blindfold me.”

#

 


	7. Saturday part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to blindfold you...And you’re going to tell me what you want me to do.”  
> Gabriel actually licked his lips  
> “I like it.”

**Saturday: part two**

_“You’re right.” He conceded. “You’ll have to blindfold me.”_

I stared down at him in shock.

“What?”

He was already shimming out from under me, and I fell on my ass as he climbed from the bed to retrieve his school tie. He returned to kneel beside me, offering it to me with both hands.

I reached out to take the strip of black fabric and felt a rush of blood to my groin as Gabriel pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.

My chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe. There was no way I could do this, was there? Just what was Gabriel expecting of me?

“I have a request,” I said slowly, looking up from the tie I still gripped tightly in my fist. Gabriel was arranging the pillows against the headboard.

“I’m all ears.” He reclined on the propped up pillow, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles and I turned my face away from his piercing gaze, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves.

“Can we-“ I stopped, changing my mind midsentence. I wasn’t going to ask; I was going to tell. I turned to look him in the eye.

“I’m going to blindfold you.” I told him with a confidence I didn’t feel, and he grinned wolfishly at me.

“You’re so hot.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. It didn’t feel like he was taking me seriously.  

“And you’re going to tell me what you want me to do.”

He raised an eyebrow at me silently, and I moved closer.

“I don’t think I can ask for things until I’ve heard someone else say it,” I explained, and I continued to move closer to him as I spoke. “So if you tell me what you want me to do, I-I’ll do it,” I winced as I stammered, but continued, “and I’ll feel less self-conscious if I know you can’t see me.”

Gabriel actually licked his lips 

“I like it. Will you do anything I say?”

I gulped.

“As long as it’s humanly possible, I suppose…” I trailed off, but Gabriel had sat up and was reaching out to touch me.

“Do you promise? No matter what I say you’ll do it?” he was almost breathless with excitement and I felt my stomach twist in knots. His eyes were shining and I could see myself reflected in his dilated pupils.

“I’ll try.”

Gabriel immediately closed his eyes, face tilted up to me as he waited for me to tie the blindfold. I reached up hesitantly to cover his eyes, leaning over his shoulder to tie it securely to the side. As I leant back his hands came up slowly to feel the blindfold and I saw him smile as his fingers brushed over the knot.

“You’re a clever boy,” he told me, lips still quirked in a smile.

I couldn’t help the blush that coloured my cheeks, but just knowing that he couldn’t see me blush allowed me to reply with confidence.

“This may not be my first time with a blindfold.”

“Kinky.” 

I didn’t elaborate. He didn’t need to know that I had actually never tied a blindfold in my life. I just knew that when you were drunk and only half removed your tie, sleeping on the knot was ridiculously uncomfortable.

Gabriel lay back down and I looked down at his bare chest. I reached out to touch him and I felt him flinch at first as my fingertips lightly brushed him. He relaxed immediately under my hesitant touch and I pressed my palm over his heart. Was he nervous as well? His heart rate was elevated.  

“Can you undress me?” he asked, and I moved off him to unbuckle his belt, sliding his jeans down as he lifted his hips to assist me.

I folded his jeans and dropped them next to the bed before his next command.

“You need to be naked too.” I quickly undressed myself, dropping my clothes off the end of the bed before kneeling next to Gabriel to await my next instruction.

“I want you to ride me again, but you need to be ready first.” I sat back on my heels as Gabriel’s hand searched blindly for me. He found my knee, smoothing his hand up my thigh and dropping between my legs.

“So I need you to come up here.” I shuffled closer on my knees.  

He had reached up to pull the second pillow out from under his head, letting it fall off the bed. He adjusted the remaining pillow so it lay flat under his head.

“I want you on all fours, knees here,” he patted the pillow. “And hands here.” He patted the bed by his hip, and I swallowed nervously before following his directions. It was awkward positioning myself and I felt extremely exposed. There was no way I could have done it if Gabriel wasn’t blindfolded.

I felt his hands slowly travelling up my thighs to touch me, feeling me out gently as he positioned me where he wanted.

“Come down a bit.” He said, pulling me down slowly. I lowered myself until I could feel his hot breath fan against me.

“That’s it,” he whispered, and I shivered as another breath caressed me. “I can’t see you, so I need you to tell me if it feels good, ok?”

I nodded, then realised this was exactly what he was talking about. “O-ok,” I replied hesitantly. Gabriel’s hand had cupped my balls, lifting them up gently as his tongue licked me between the legs. I gasped at the sensation, but barely had time to register before he licked me a second time. “Jin.” I winced at his gently reproachful tone. “What did I just tell you?”

“It…feels nice.”

“Good boy,” he murmured before licking me again. I dropped my head to look, shivering as I watched him lick me over and over again, getting closer to my entrance. Suddenly his tongue pressed against me, and I twitched and gasped as I felt the tip of his tongue probe at my hole.

I dropped down onto my elbows as a tremor ran through my legs. Gabriel continued to lick and probe while his warm hand cupped me, fondling my balls delicately.

“I want you to touch me Jin.” I raised my eyes to where Gabriel was hard and jutting towards me. Slowly I repositioned myself, shifting my weight to one side so that I could reach down and brush my fingers against him. I heard him sigh as I brought just the tip into my mouth. Holding him steady, I swirled my tongue around the head. Gabriel continued to lick me, and every time his tongue probed against my centre I moaned around his cock.

He hands moved to spread my cheeks and I felt a wet finger slide against me.

“Jin, I want to open you up but I need your help.”

I let him fall wetly from my mouth as I turned to look over my shoulder.

“What do I need to do?” I asked, feeling more assured as I reconfirmed the presence of the blindfold.

“Get the lube.” His hands dropped to the bed and I carefully moved off him to retrieve the bottle. Quickly opening the seal, I returned to the bed before hesitating. I pressed the bottle into his hand before asking “Where do you want me?” and I saw Gabriel smirk.

“On my cock but that’ll have to wait.” I felt like I should blush but it was incredibly freeing knowing that I couldn’t be seen.

“Come back up here, how you were before.” I climbed back up, less hesitantly this time and I heard Gabriel flick the cap open.

“This’ll be cold at first.” He warned, and I replied, “I know,” out loud automatically. “Good boy, Jin.” I flushed at his praise, but it was pleasure rather than embarrassment. I felt the cold touch of the gel against me but it warmed quickly as Gabriel slowly rubbed his finger over my entrance.

“Do you want me to put it in?” Gabriel asked, still rubbing gently as I twitched in anticipation.

“Yes,” I replied without hesitation, and he chuckled.

“Eager, aren’t we?” He let just the tip of his finger slide in until he heard my intake of breath. “Do you like that Jin?”

“Yes,” I answered, gripping the sheets as I sank onto my elbows again.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes.”

“Ask for it.”

“More.”

“More what, Jin?”

“Put it all in.”

I moaned as he complied, his finger pushing deeper until he was completely buried in me. The momentary burn was already fading as I stretched and adjusted to him. I felt him curl and brush against that magical spot and a tremor ran through me.

“I have an idea I’d like to try.”

“Yes?” I invited him to continue.

“I’m going to fuck you Jin, but I want you to set the pace. Whatever you do to my cock, I’ll copy.”

I considered this for a moment before shifting to wrap my hand around him. I lowered myself, guiding him into my mouth, and as I positioned myself I felt Gabriel slide his finger back until just the tip was in me. I began to bob slowly on his cock, my fist pumping him at a slow pace in my mouth as Gabriel finger fucked me, matching my pace and sweeping against my sweet spot with every thrust.

“God Jin you feel so good.” I hummed with pleasure, relishing his moans as he succumbed to the vibrations. I released him from my lips and licked the head, turning to look over my shoulder as he paused.

“Two fingers,” I told him confidently, and I heard the click of the cap again. Soon a second digit was pressed into me and I took him deep again.

I picked up the pace, and I couldn’t help moaning in pleasure as I felt him match my new speed. I could hear wet sounds now as he slid in and out of me and it felt too good to feel ashamed. I felt him falter for a second before he spoke again, and his voice straining with want sent bolts of desire through me.

“Wait, Jin.” I slowed my pace as he continued. “I’m gonna-“ I hollowed my cheeks as I sucked the tip, and I was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath before he finished. “Shit, I’m gonna come!”

I squeezed firmly at the base, cutting off his release as I relaxed my mouth around him and finally let him slip free of my lips.

“Not yet, you’re not.” I told him, and I grinned as I heard him panting behind me.

“Cocky…little bastard, aren’t you?” He was out of breath as he curled his fingers and I gasped as pleasure flooded through me.

“No fair!” I told him as he withdrew his fingers. I climbed down from the bed, snagging the lube as I tossed a look back at him over my shoulder.

“Just lie there and behave for a minute,” I said bossily, and I saw him grin as I retrieved a strip of condoms.

“Yes Master Jin,” he replied with false humility, and I rolled my eyes as I opened the first condom.

I put the first one on myself, pinching the tip as I rolled it down firmly. I tore off a second one and tossed the strip over my shoulder, climbing back onto the bed to straddle Gabriel’s thighs.

“I’m just getting you ready.” I warned him as I pinched the tip, positioning the condom over him and rolling it over his wet and throbbing cock.

“Thank you Master Jin,” he replied, and my eyes darted to his face. The blindfold was still firmly in place, and his face beneath it was relaxed and passive. I felt a thrill of excitement as I realised I was completely in control now. Flicking open the cap, I drizzled lube onto my cupped fingers before reaching for him.

“I’m going to apply the gel now,” I told him, and he lay obediently still as I touched him. I spread the lube slowly and evenly over him, wrapping my hand around him and lazily pumping him a few times to make sure he was completely covered. “Stay still,” I told him, rising up on my knees to shuffle closer.

“Yes Master,” he replied, and I couldn’t help grinning. This was fun.

My hand was still slick with lube, and I spread my cheeks to rub the excess against myself.

I let my finger press against my entrance. It felt soft under my finger tip and I was seized with curiosity. I slowly pushed in and gasped softly as I felt heat envelope my finger. Gabriel wasn’t exaggerating; it was so hot down there.

He shifted against my thighs and I withdrew my finger guiltily.

“Are you ready?” I asked him, shifting my hips to line myself up.

“Yes.”

I hesitated. Lowering myself until he was just brushing against me. Knowing that he was laid out before me and completely blind to what I was doing was filling me with confidence.

“What do you want? You have to ask me.” _Is that really me speaking?_

“Please sit on me,” he begged, and I held myself open as I slowly lowered onto him.

I watched his face as I sunk slowly onto his cock. His intake of breath as he first pierced me was followed by his lips falling open. I could see him tilt his head back as he reached for my hips, holding me as I seated myself on him.

“How does it feel?” I asked him, genuinely curious.

He smiled, fingers gripping me tightly as he bucked up once.

“It’s so hot. I wish you knew how good you feel.”

I shifted my weight forward. I was crouching rather than kneeling this time, and I felt my thighs burning already, but I had considered it after last time and decided that this angle would give me better control. Balancing one hand behind me on Gabriel’s thighs, I raised up before sinking back down on him.

Gabriel responded by gripping me harder, pulling me down onto him as he bucked up to meet me. My hand was still slippery from the lube and it gave me an idea. I stretched down behind me, reaching between his legs to stroke gently at his balls. I was gratified to hear him gasp as I fondled him and his legs parted further for me. I let my hand fall further to stroke below them and brush against his entrance. He felt different, firmer than I had when I touched myself earlier.  

“ _Jiiin_.” His voice was heavy with want, and I pressed one finger against him, feeling a twitch against my fingertip. I withdrew my hand, feeling overwhelmed for the moment by my actions and Gabriel’s response.

I slid my foot back, lowering myself onto one knee for stability as I reached for one of Gabriel’s hands. I closed my hand over his, squeezing his hand before pulling him away from my hip.

“Stroke me,” I told him breathlessly, guiding him to my cock. He took me in his hand confidently, matching our pace and causing me to cry out.

“Touch me again Jin, please,” he begged, and I reached down once more. “ _Yes_ ,” Gabriel cried softly as I brushed against him.

“Do you want…” I hesitated, my finger just resting against him. I couldn’t say it out loud.

“Yes, _god yes_. Please Jin,” I hesitated one more second before pushing in. I felt a soft resistance before my finger slipped in. It was soft and hot inside, just like I had been. The angle didn’t allow me much depth or control, but Gabriel gripped my hip tighter still when I penetrated him.

I wasn’t going to last much longer. The stimulation from both Gabriel’s cock and his hand had brought me to the edge.

“Jin,” I had never seen Gabriel like this before, I couldn’t take my eyes off his face as he called out. “Oh god, I’m coming.”

“M-me too,” I panted, just as out of breath as he was as I felt Gabriel’s balls tightening as they drew in above my hand.

I felt Gabriel convulse under me just before my own release. Gabriel’s hand moved up to cup me and I shuddered as I came under his palm.

I had moved my hand to brace against the bed as I came and as Gabriel released me I slid sideways off him, lying on my back to catch my breath. I craned my neck up in time to see Gabriel reach for the blindfold, pulling at the tie to remove it.

“Come’re.” I crawled closer sluggishly; my legs were like jelly. We lay still at first, chests heaving as we struggled to catch our breath. Gabriel recovered first and he reached down to carefully remove my condom, tying it up and dropping it in the bin. I watched silently as he reached for the wipes, carefully wiping me clean before tending to himself. Once we were spotless he lay back down and reached for me. I let him pull me to his chest, tangling our legs together as he held me close.

“Fuck you’re amazing,” he whispered against my hair.

“You’re amazing.” I felt dazed and deeply satisfied as I nuzzled into his neck.

“I’ve never done that before,” he admitted, and I stirred in his embrace.

“The blindfold?” I queried, and he nodded.

“I didn’t think I’d like feeling helpless, but I trusted you.” I felt a warm explosion in my chest as I pushed back to look at him.

“Gabriel.”

He smiled as I addressed him by name.

“Yes, sweet Jin?”

I paused. I knew I was making a mistake but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Can you lie and say you love me?”

He brushed my hair back, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you, Jin.”

I buried my face in his neck again, unable to look him in the eye.

#

I woke with a start, still wrapped up with Gabriel. It was dark in the room and a quick glance at the wall clock told me that we had been asleep for a few hours. I tried to free my arm pinned between us without waking him and settled back to watch his sleeping face.

My hand was flooding with pins and needles and I clenched and flexed my fingers to encourage the circulation. Once the feeling subsided and I had some control back I turned over under his heavy arm, letting it slide down to rest over my lower back. I leaned closer to gently touch his face, tucking his hair behind his ears and stroking down his jaw.

He stirred in his sleep but didn’t wake, and I bent down to kiss his throat.

There was something very soothing about being held by Gabriel. The solid weight pressed against my back was comforting and I wished I could just stay like this forever. Sooner or later we would have to face the world, and I worried about what that would mean for me in the future.

Gabriel stirred and his eyes fluttered open slowly.

“Good morning.” He murmured, and I smiled down at him.

“Good evening, you mean. It’s nearly 8pm.” Gabriel’s hands were sliding up my back, rolling me on top of him as he pressed our bodies together.

“Whatever,” he yawned and let his head loll on the pillow.  

“Are you hungry? We could go somewhere for dinner.”

“Like a date?” I couldn’t read the look on his face.

“It’s just dinner, Gabriel,” I told him flatly.

“You said my name again.” He smiled, hands rubbing small circles on my back.

“It seems less intimidating now.” I flushed as I remembered our conversation earlier.

“Good.”

I pulled myself free from his embrace and started collecting my clothes, flicking on the lights to aid in my search.

“I want a shower,” I told him, “I feel all sticky.” I held my clothes loosely in my arms, and as I watched him pull back the sheet it occurred to me that I was standing completely naked in front of him and it didn’t feel awkward at all.

“Good idea. I’ll join you.” He had rolled out of bed and was looking for his clothes. I returned to my room for clothes to change into and met Gabriel on the landing before we went down to the bathroom together.

I started running the bath but when I turned to the shower Gabriel was waiting for me. He silently directed me to take a seat and began to gently wash me. I closed my eyes and relaxed as he massaged me with the soapy sponge, letting him move me to wash me thoroughly. By the time he began rinsing the soap from my body I felt like I could have fallen asleep.

“There, you’re all done.” He kissed the top of my head and told me to go relax in the bath.

“But I want to wash you!” I protested, and to my delight he acquiesced, swapping places with me and closing his eyes after he handed me the sponge.

It was thrilling to have complete access to Gabriel. Without him watching me I felt complete freedom to explore every inch of him. I loved trailing the sponge over his skin and watching the soapy rivulets drip down his toned, muscular body. I ended up imitating everything Gabriel had done to me, lifting each arm one by one and gently pulling him to his feet to wash each leg. I managed not to blush as I washed between his legs and carefully soaped his front. By the time I turned the shower back on I felt freezing and I was relieved when Gabriel opened his eyes, took one look at my shivering body and sent me to wait for him in the bath.

I gratefully entered the tub, shutting off the water just as Gabriel finished rinsing. We sat facing each other today, legs bent and folded over each other to make room as we leant back at each end of the bath.

“Where should we go for dinner?” I asked, and Gabriel shrugged.

“Don’t care. Somewhere close by is fine.” I nodded and suggested a steak house one station away. I’d only been in there once before but I remembered the atmosphere being lively and the food had been good. It wasn’t my kind of place, but I felt like Gabriel might enjoy it. After reassuring him it wouldn’t take long to get there he quickly agreed.

I had been about to suggest that we get ready to go when I heard the front door opening and Hikari’s unmistakable voice calling from the entranceway.

Eyes wide with fear, I stared at Gabriel.

 _“What’s my sister doing here?”_ I whispered urgently, and I was annoyed to see he didn’t look flustered at all, and even smirked at me when he noticed how white I had gone.

“Jin?” Her voice was getting closer as she entered the hall, and to my horror Gabriel splashed the water, eyes fixed on me as he grinned his predatory grin.

“Oh, you’re in the bath.” I heard her reply, and I drew closer to hiss at him.

“She’ll just burst in here if she thinks its me.” I told him through gritted teeth, and to my relief Gabriel fixed a puzzled expression on his face and called out to her just as I heard the laundry door open.

“Hello? Is someone there?”

Once again I was in awe of his acting skills. His voice sounded alarmed and surprised as he continued.

“I’m Gabriel, the exchange student.” I held my breath, not daring to move as I strained my ears for her response.

“Oh, sorry!” She laughed, an edge of embarrassment creeping into her voice.

“I’m Jin’s sister Hikari. Is he upstairs?” to my relief I heard her move away from the bathroom door. I could still see her shadow on the fogged-up glass panel though, and my heart was in my throat.

Gabriel looked straight at me and winked. I felt my eyes go wide with fear. I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“I think he went out to buy a drink,” he called out, and I sighed in relief as her voice floated back sounding more distant. Thank god she was leaving.

“Thanks, I’ll wait for him in the living room. Sorry to disturb you!”

The door to the laundry rattled closed again and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, as Gabriel collapsed in silent laughter.

“It’s not funny!” I tried to sound stern, but I was starting to feel giddy with relief and had caught his giggles.

“Come on,” I told him, untangling myself from his legs to stand up and pull him to his feet. We climbed from the bath at the same time and I retrieved our towels, locking the laundry door before returning to hand him his.

I dried quickly and unselfconsciously as I pulled on my clothes at warp speed.

“You go detain her in the living room and I’ll pretend to come home,” I told him, and he smirked at me in a worrying manner. I watched him from the hallway as he entered the living room, leaving the door open before I crept to the front door, opening it and loudly calling out that I was home.

Hikari’s voice called back and I tried to feign a look of surprise as I entered the living room.

“Hey Jin, you’re back. I’ve just met Gabriel.” My sister and Gabriel were seated at the table, and I tried not to make eye contact with Gabriel as I greeted Hikari.

“Hey sis, what are you doing here?” I flopped to the floor and my eyes fell on the huge box of produce she had obviously brought.

“We’re having an early season this year and I’m sick of eating all this already. You’ve got carrots, snow peas and a ton of strawberries.” I leaned forward to peer into the box.

“Thanks. You know ma’s away right?”

“Oh, when’s she back?”

“Tomorrow. Dad’s away for a week though. Italy.”

“Oh. It’ll last until then.”

“We were just going to go for dinner.” _Please don’t come please don’t come please don’t come._

“Cool, I should join you!” she turned to Gabriel as I closed my eyes in defeat. “Where are you going?”

“Some place in the city Jin’s been telling me about all week.” Gabriel lied easily, and my eyes darted to my sister’s face as it fell.

“Oh, I’ll have to miss it then. I’ve got to leave here by 9.30 at the latest.”

I couldn’t believe my luck as she rose to her feet.

“It was good to see you though Jin,” she said, and I looked up at her, suddenly noticing how tired she looked. I felt conflicted. I didn’t want anyone to interrupt my time with Gabriel, but I knew how long it would have taken Hikari to get here, and I felt like I should make some effort to reach out to her. She had picked up her bag and was moving towards the door when I called her back.

“Hey sis, why don’t you come over for dinner when ma’s back?” she paused and looked back at me.

“Yeah?” she said hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I agreed with more confidence.

“Let’s have a family dinner here, ok?” I felt relieved when she smiled at me.

“Ok Jin, sounds good. I’ll call later and we’ll pick a day. See ya.”

We waved goodbye and listened as she left, and I didn’t look at Gabriel until I heard the door click closed behind her.

I slumped forward on the table, heaving a huge sigh of relief as Gabriel laughed at me.

“That was too close,” I told him, looking up at his amused face reproachfully.

“It was fine, you worry too much.” He brushed off my concerns and rose to his feet. “But did I do the right thing? It looked like you didn’t want her to come so I lied…”

It was strange to see Gabriel second guess himself, and I was quick to reassure him.

“Yeah, thanks for that. I seriously though she’d just tag along.” I pulled a face at that thought as I rose to my feet, and Gabriel stood up beside me.

“Still, I feel like we owe her. The strawberries she brought are so good.” My eyes dropped to the box as Gabriel stepped closer.

“Did you eat a strawberry in front of my sister?” I asked.

“Yep, wanna taste?” He had reached for me, his hands running through my still-damp hair and tilting my face as he brought his lips down to cover mine. I could taste the sweet strawberry on his tongue as he kissed me. I pushed back to look him in the eye.

“Did you eat it like a normal human? You didn’t do anything weird to my sister did you?”

He laughed and stepped away to reach down and pluck a strawberry from the box.

“I was a perfect gentleman,” he said, arm wrapping around me to pull me closer as he traced my lips with the tip of the red fruit.

I rolled my eyes at him, but I bit the tip off the strawberry. It was delicious; juicy and sweet.

Gabriel continued to rub the fruit over my lips, coating me in the juice before leaning down to lick it off.

I took the opportunity to seize the strawberry from him and hold it out for him to eat. He obediently bit half and I ate the remaining bite, rolling the green stem between my fingers as he pulled me back to kiss me again.

“This isn’t going to dinner,” I told him, a bit short of breath as we pulled away.

“Do we have to go to dinner?” he asked, hands travelling down my sides to grasp at my hips, drawing me closer.

“Yes. I’m hungry,” I told him simply, and he shook his head at me.

“Then quit teasing me and let’s go.” And he turned me around and swatted me on the bum.

We weren’t going anywhere fancy so we just threw jackets on over our t-shirts and jeans before heading out. It didn’t take long to get there and time was on our side as we missed the dinner rush. We were shown to a booth immediately and settled in to peruse the menu. I was pleased to see that Gabriel looked suitable impressed.

“Wow. I hope these taste as good as they look.” I felt a flush of pride that I had chosen the right place. We placed our orders and Gabriel quizzed me about Hikari as we waited. I shrugged and gave him the basic overview.

“She married last year, moved out with her husband and his family. They live in Gifu on a kind of farm.”

“She didn’t strike me as farmer’s wife material.”

I shook my head.

“Me either. She was an Art major. I guess she fell in love and that was more important.”

Gabriel was playing with the straw in his drink.

“Love, huh?” I averted my eyes as I felt him stare at me.

“It’s a thing, Gabriel. People fall in love all the time.”

“They fall out of it, too.”

I chanced a glance up at him.

“I guess so.”

He grinned and leaned closer.

“I think you know so. What was his name again? Your One True Love?”

“Don’t talk about Hiro like that.” I kicked him under the table and he caught my ankle between his, dragging my foot towards him. I looked at him silently as I slumped down in my seat. Gabriel was watching me intently, eyes boring into mine.

“Your Medium Tex-Mex with fries and vegetables,” the voice of our waitress broke the spell, and I felt Gabriel release my leg as he turned to smile and thank her.

After placing my meal in front of me and checking if we wanted anything else, she deposited our check and left us in peace. I picked up my cutlery and poked at my chicken. I wished I had more courage to challenge Gabriel but he always seemed to find the chinks in my armour.

I was glad to see he was enjoying his steak, and I cheered up when he offered me a bite. I glanced around to make sure no one was watching before I retrieved the cut of meat with my knife and fork. Gabriel looked a bit disappointed, but I wasn’t going to just let him hand feed me in public.

His meal was deliciously spicy. In return I offered him a taste of my BBQ chicken, and he happily accepted. I had speared a piece on my fork and held it low over his plate, expecting him to slide it from my fork as I had done, but instead his fingers closed over mine, lifting the fork to his mouth and watching me as he ate it.

I pulled my hand back as soon as he let go, darting an embarrassed look around to see if anyone had noticed.

“Relax, Jin.” He smiled lazily as he swallowed the mouthful. “No one cares.”

“ _I_ care.” I grumbled softly, but I let it drop and we continued our meal peacefully.

Gabriel had expressed his disappointment that he couldn’t fit in a dessert, but I breathed a sigh of relief. He would probably have tried to feed me or eaten it seductively and I wasn’t prepared to watch him lick a spoon in public. We waited at the register together to pay, and when the host appeared and apologised for the wait we both reached for our wallets.

“It’s fine, Gabriel, I’ll get it,” I told him, leafing through for a few notes. Gabriel already had his card out and was extending it to the waiting girl.

“You bought lunch, Jin, I’ll grab it.” I pushed his hand down and put the cash down on the counter.

“No, you’ve already spent too much on me today. Don’t argue.” The girl picked up the notes and quickly ruffled through them, placing them across the register as she counted out my change.

“Thank you, here’s your change.” She was blushing as she placed the notes and coins on my palm, and I wondered why as I thanked her and Gabriel steered me out of the restaurant.

“What was that about?” I asked Gabriel, turning to watch him as we entered the street. He slung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

“She thinks we’re on a date,” he whispered in my ear, and I felt my face heat up as I tried to free myself from Gabriel’s iron grip.

“See! I told you to stop acting so inappropriately in public!” I hissed at him, finally ducking out from under his arm as we neared the end of the street.

“Oh no, that was all you Romeo.” He came to a stop, hands in his pockets as he regarded me with a smirk. “Very gallant of you, insisting you pay for my dinner.”

My retort died on my lips. _God damn it_ , he was probably right.

“Still. You should stop acting in such a misleading way, especially in public.” I lectured him as we began walking again, turning down the alley that would take us back to the station.

“But I though you wanted me to.” Gabriel had caught up to me, voice low and breath tickling my ear. My steps slowed and he bumped into my shoulder.

“No,” I said softly, although what exactly I meant by that I didn’t really know.

Gabriel turned me around, fingers reaching for mine and twining them together as he walked me back to the wall.

“Didn’t you want me to act more like a lover?” I felt the hard wall behind me as he continued to press closer. “Didn’t you want me to tell you I love you?” I tried to turn my face away but he followed wherever I moved, just barely touching me.

“That was a mistake.” I shut my eyes to avoid looking at him, but I didn’t resist as his lips closed over mine. His grip on my hands lessened and I pulled them free to touch him, sliding my hands up his chest under his jacket. I let him kiss me until we were breathless, and as Gabriel broke away I leaned into him.

“We need to get home. Now,” he said urgently, and I silently agreed, although how we were supposed to go back into public I had no idea. I pushed him away and stepped out around him, taking a few slow, deep breaths before turning to face him.

“Come on,” I told him. “Surely you can keep your hands off me for twenty minutes.” I watched as Gabriel gripped the bulge in his pants, pressing it down and heaving a sigh that made his shoulders rise and fall.

“You’re going to kill me,” was all he said as he brushed past me towards the station.

The train ride home was torture. We rode in a completely empty car and the temptation to reach out and touch him was so strong I ended up moving to the opposite bench seat. Gabriel was standing and watching me with dark eyes the entire time.

I was never more grateful for the short walk between the station and home. Despite it normally taking less than ten minutes it was almost half an hour later that we stumbled in the front door. Gabriel had kept grabbing me and pulling us into secluded spots to kiss me and by the time we were kicking off our shoes in the entrance way I was straining uncomfortably in my jeans.

I shrugged out of my jacket and Gabriel reached for me, pulling my shirt over my head and letting it drop to the floor. I had been caught by surprise and couldn’t react before he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back into his chest as he licked and sucked at my neck.

I rolled my head to the side, giving him maximum access to my throat and was rewarded with his low moan of desire vibrating through me.

I twisted in his arms, taking hold of his shirt and lifting it up slowly. He had already ditched his jacket and he let me pull his shirt over his head before walking me backwards to the hall.

I blindly bumped into the wall as he dropped to his knees, hands fumbling to undo my belt. I tried to help as I unbuttoned my jeans and we both pushed them down my legs. The denim pooled at my feet as Gabriel curled his fingers under the waistband of my underwear, pulling them down slowly and revealing my weeping erection. His hands abandoned the fabric at my knees, smoothing back up my thighs to hold my hips steady as he took me in his mouth.

My head bumped against the wall as I threw it back, my fingers twining in his hair as he wrapped a hand around my cock. He began to pump me into his mouth, cheeks hollowing as he sucked me.

I shuddered and slid half a foot down the wall as my knees gave way.

“Wait, Gabriel,” I tried to pry him gently from me, and he moved back, my cock sliding wetly from between his kips as he looked up. His hand was still closed around me and he pumped me slowly.

“I want to come with you.” His eyes drifted shut and he leaned heavily against me, rhythm faltering as he slowly released me.

“Jesus Jin,” he whispered, and then he stood up and started unbuckling his belt. “Upstairs then, quick.”

I stepped out of my jeans and underwear, leaving a trail as I peeled off my socks and followed him up the stairs.

Gabriel opened his bedroom door and held it for me. We both ignored the light switch and I walked past him in the dark to the bed, but he grabbed my wrist and turned me around before I could reach it. He kissed me furiously, crashing his lips to mine as his tongue pushed against me possessively.

I was completely overwhelmed, and when he broke the kiss and pushed me I fell back on the bed, helpless. I watched as Gabriel pushed his jeans and pants off, kicking them aside before sweeping my legs up and rolling me back onto my shoulders.

His hand closed around my cock again as he began to lick me, tongue probing while I twitched for him. My hands had fisted in the sheets and I felt a loud moan tear from my throat. Gabriel moaned in reply and I felt him squeeze down on me. He lowered me back to the bed and I tried to catch my breath while he retrieved the lube. He was back in seconds, hitching my legs over his shoulders as he coated two fingers and rubbed them against me.

I watched through half lidded eyes, chest still heaving as he pressed the first finger into me. He only waited for a second before starting to move, pushing in and out of me as he reached around my thigh to pump my cock again.

I felt my hips buck automatically and he squeezed down briefly, setting a slower pace as he stretched me with a second finger.

I wanted to keep my eyes open to watch, but Gabriel was brushing over my sweet spot and every time he hit it I threw my head back in pleasure, my eyes closing as I moaned out loud.

Every time I felt like I was going to come Gabriel would cut off my release. I didn’t know if I was prepared enough, but at this point I didn’t care. I wanted to tell him to fuck me already but I couldn’t form the words.

As he prevented my release once again, I drew in a deep, shuddering breath and opened my eyes. Gabriel was watching me and I found I could meet his gaze steadily. His hand was still gripped around the base of my cock, and I pushed back against his fingers as they pumped into me.

“Fuck me. Now.”

I was too desperate to feel embarrassed.  Gabriel released my legs as soon as I spoke and when he returned to the bed with a condom I had already turned over and raised my hips, shoulders dropped to the bed and clutching the pillows to my chest.

My ears registered the click of the cap again and seconds later Gabriel was spreading my cheeks, guiding the tip to my entrance and pushing into me.

I felt a burn as I stretched around him and I couldn’t help flinching. Gabriel immediately stopped, holding my hips steady as he hesitated.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, bending low over my back as his arm circled around my waist comfortingly. I could feel his chest heaving against me. He wasn’t that deep, an inch at most. I could already feel myself relaxing around him as I adjusted to his size.

“It’s okay,” I told him, and I pushed back on him. I heard his intake of breath as he sunk another inch deeper. “I’m fine. I want you inside me.”

I heard him swear before he started to slowly push the rest of the way in, and a jolt ran through me when I finally felt him rest against the backs of my thighs.

“I’m all in,” he whispered, leaning down again to kiss my spine. “God Jin you feel so good.”

I pushed back against him, clenching around him and revelling in the gasp it tore from him.

“Then fuck me. Please.” I relaxed again as he shifted to grab my hips, moaning low in his throat.

“ _God_ ,” he whispered hoarsely, and I cried out as he began to move his hips, thrusting into me as he pulled me back against him. “Tell me Jin,” he panted, “Tell me how you want it.”

“H-harder.” I pressed my face into the pillows, but I knew he heard me because the grip on my hips tightened.

I tilted my hips up further and as he slammed into me I felt the familiar coil of my orgasm building again. My hand closed over my cock to stroke myself as I reached the point of no return.

“Gabriel, I’m coming,” I gasped, and I didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. My body was shuddering as the hot spurts decorated my chest. I convulsed around Gabriel and I heard him call my name as he came, hips stuttering as he drove into me one last time.

Instead of pulling away, Gabriel wrapped his arms around me, rolling us sideways to cradle me to his chest, still buried inside me. Our chests heaved as we struggled to catch our breath and I slowly relaxed in his arms.

I wanted to clean up, but I also didn’t want to move. There was something about being connected to Gabriel like this that was comforting and I didn’t want to break that connection. Gabriel had stirred and was pressing a kiss to the side of my head, hand stroking up and down my side.

“Getting more confident, aren’t we?” he whispered, hand falling to cup my ass as he gently bucked into me.

I felt him move, the smooth sensation of him slipping from me causing me to shudder and press back into him, seeking the lost contact.

“You love it,” I replied, and in answer he gripped me tighter.

“Damn right, I do. You’re driving me wild.”

I grinned in the dark at that. 

“I’ve made a mess again,” I said, trying not to let my soiled hand touch the sheet as I relaxed. Gabriel pressed a kiss to my shoulder before he shifted away and I rolled onto my back as he climbed over me.

Relaxing on the pillow, I saw him remove his condom and quickly wipe himself. He grabbed the wipes and returned to the bed, kneeling beside me and gently wiping me clean.

I watched him lift my hand to clean me, even wiping between my fingers. He kissed my palm before laying my arm down on the bed. I didn’t feel embarrassed this time, enjoying the sensations as he gently dragged the cool towel over my skin. I felt completely relaxed as he bent my knee to softly stroke between my legs and I smiled as he kissed my knee before lowering it back to the mattress.  

When he had finished I welcomed him back to bed and wrapped my arms around his neck as he snuggled in beside me, sliding one leg between mine as we pulled each other close.

“Thank you.” It occurred to me that I hadn’t thanked him last time.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied easily, leaning his forehead against mine.

I desperately wanted him to tell me he loved me. If he said it to me without prompting, I would have thrown every last shred of my pride away and told him I loved him back. But he was disappointingly silent and I felt a hole open up deep in my chest as I realised that want I wanted was impossible.

Gabriel had made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in being my boyfriend. He had happily complied with my request yesterday but I got little joy from a heartless confession. I blinked back my tears as I snuggled closer to his warmth. If I couldn’t have his heart, at least I could have his body and with this thought I fell into an uneasy sleep in his arms.

 


	8. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re wearing my shirt and no underwear.” He moaned.  
> “Yeah, sorry. My clothes were kind of awol.”  
> “Don’t apologise, I fucking love it.” 
> 
> It's the end of the most eventful week of Jin's life, but he's got more surprises in store.

**Day Seven: It all comes tumbling down** (Sunday)  

As soon as I woke up I felt an ache deep between my hips. It wasn’t unpleasant but as I stretched I thought it felt like I might hurt for a day or so. I rolled over and reached out a hand to stroke along Gabriel’s back. I had fallen asleep wrapped up in his arms but at some point in the night we must have drifted apart.

Maybe the loss of his comforting heat had been why at some point in the night my dreams had twisted into nightmares. The memories of them were fading though, and the more I tried to recall the events the faster they disappeared. All I was left with was the feelings they had inspired: confused, hurt, and terribly alone. I moved closer to press my chest against him, curling an arm over him as I buried my face in his shoulder.

He didn’t stir, and I found myself wishing that he would wake up and dispel the bad feelings that were plaguing me after my restless night’s sleep. Just holding him while he slept was less exciting than I imagined it would be. I propped myself up on an elbow to stroke lightly up and down his back. I let my fingers graze across his smooth skin, dragging them back up to trace over his shoulder and running my fingers through his hair. I traced the outline of his jaw before returning to draw patterns across his back.  

Leaning down to press a kiss to his shoulder, I carefully watched his face for any sign of sleeplessness. His breathing was still slow and even. I couldn’t believe how heavy a sleeper he was.

I had started to feel better the moment I touched him, and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t keep the secret burning in my chest any longer.  

“I love you,” I whispered, leaning down again to press a kiss to the back of his head. Saying it out loud had caused my heart rate to sky rocket, and I felt terrified and exhilarated all at once.

Gabriel stirred, and for a moment I panicked thinking that he had woken in time to hear me. I moved back as he rolled over to look at me, but all he did was open his eyes blearily and ask what the time was.

“Almost 9. We don’t have anywhere to be though so you can go back to sleep.” I let myself relax again when he nodded and yawned before looking back at me again.

“What’re y’doing?”

“Nothing. Just watching you sleep.”

“Hmm.” He shuffled closer and I lay back down as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

 “Y’were innmy dreams,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Yeah? What did you dream about?”

“Think y’were cat.”

A cat. Well there went my hopes of being the suave man of his dreams. Maybe if I brought him coffee he’d wake up enough to stop casually insulting me.

“Whatever, weirdo.” I pulled myself free with some difficulty; despite only being half-awake he had quite a grip on me.

“Where’re y’going?” he complained as he reached for me, but I shimmied away.

“To make coffee, I’ll bring it up, ok?”

I watched him collapse face-first on the pillow before I grabbed the first shirt I saw. Pulling it over my head, I was grateful it hit me mid-thigh and I was happy to forego underwear for my trip downstairs. My lower back had protested when I bent down to collect the shirt and I didn’t want to try balancing on one leg to don pants.

At the base of the stairs I encountered the debris from last night; my clothes littered the hall. I quickly picked them up and straightened our shoes in the entrance way before depositing the garments in the laundry.

As I put the coffee on I thought about how I wished my mother could stay away for longer. I had grown to quite like having the house all to ourselves and I wasn’t looking forward to having to be on guard again when she got back later today.

Returning to Gabriel’s room with two coffees, I left them on the bedside table before climbing back into bed.

I was secretly pleased when he shifted to nuzzle my thigh as I sat back against the headboard. I dragged my fingers lazily through his hair, closed my eyes, and just enjoyed the quiet morning.

I felt him stir again, lifting his head slightly from my leg.

“Hey.” He looked up at me as I dropped my hand.

“Hey. I brought you coffee.” I said back, slouching against the headboard.

“You know me so well,” he moaned, struggling upright and reaching for the mugs. I watched him hesitate for a second before passing the milky coffee to me first.

“Thanks.” I wrapped my hands around the warm cup and balanced it on my knees as he sipped his own black coffee.

He was watching me curiously and I couldn’t help asking him what was wrong.His face clouded for a moment, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he regarded me.

“I feel like I missed something.” I knew I was probably making my deer-in-headlights face again but I couldn’t help it.

“Like what?” I asked, taking a sip of my coffee so that I wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Dunno. Just a feeling.”

“Maybe it was something to do with your dream,” I suggested, and he looked even more confused.

“I don’t remember dreaming.”

“You said you had a dream about a cat,” I offered, and he shrugged. I was relieved when he accepted my explanation that it was probably because of the cat café yesterday, and with one more shrug he continued to drink his coffee. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I had salvaged my phone from my jeans when I’d tidied up downstairs and it had buzzed to life on the bedside table where I’d left it. I leaned over to reach for it, but Gabriel got to it first. I was a bit miffed when he brought the screen closer to read the notification before letting me have it.

“It’s your clueless crush,” he said, tossing the phone on my lap before draining his cup.

I shot Gabriel an annoyed look as I juggled the mug to retrieve my phone. Rearranging myself to balance the mug on my thigh, I opened the message and quickly scanned the contents.

“Listen to this,” I told him, scoffing in disbelief as Gabriel shifted to lie back down again,

““ _We’ve decided to tell people we’re dating but we’re going to stage it as getting together. Rei’s organising a dating party for tonight. I’ll text you the location once we decide. You have to come, Ayase will be there. Bring Gabriel.””_

I clicked off the screen and dropped my phone back onto my lap. “Like hell I’m going to his stupid set up.”

Gabriel had his eyes closed but I knew he was listening because as I had read the message, getting more and more worked up, he had reached out to pat my thigh.

“If only we weren’t in on the secret,” he said. “It would have been hilarious to interfere with their ‘get-together’.”

I laughed bitterly and Gabriel squeezed my thigh.

“I’m not going,” I said firmly, and he opened one eye to look up at me.

“Why not? It could still be fun.”

I shook my head.

“No. I’m not interested in being manipulated or guilted into dating Ayase.”

“Why not? You never know, you might like it if you try it.”

“No thanks. I’m not the slightest bit interested in Ayase. You can date her if you care so much.”

“What’s got you so riled up? I doubt you have to worry about Ayase.” He had rolled onto his side and was dragging the sheet lower to reveal my bare thighs. “I bet she’d freak out if you told her you wanted to hold hands.”

He shifted closer to lick my thigh, and I parted my legs automatically.

“Does anything make you freak out?” I asked, meeting his gaze as he looked up at me.

“Probably not, but why don’t you experiment and see if you can find something?”

I didn’t have a reply to that, and I tilted my head back to finish my coffee as he slid a hand between my legs. I heard him sigh deeply as his fingers brushed against me.

“You’re wearing my shirt and no underwear,” he moaned, pressing his face closer to my crotch as I leaned over to put my empty cup safely next to his.

“Yeah, sorry. My clothes were kind of awol.”

“Don’t apologise, I fucking love it.”

He was turning me on as he touched me, and it was so easy to give in, but he was actually awake and talking and I felt the sudden urge to seize the opportunity.

“Have you dated girls?”

“Don’t date.”

“Slept with girls then?”

“Yep.”

“But don’t you like guys?”

“Not in particular. Doesn’t matter to me who it is. As long as it feels good and gets you off, what does it matter what they are?” Hands were gently ghosting over me but I mostly ignored them as I continued.

“I guess I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve never felt attracted to a girl before.” I was tilting my head as I considered this, and Gabriel’s hand stilled.

“Jin?”

“Yeah?”

“Not that I’m not enjoying getting deep and meaningful with you, but am I gonna get laid right now?”

I frowned down at him.

“No, probably not.” He sighed and dragged himself off me.

“In that case I’m going to get more coffee.”

I picked up my phone again and reopened Hiro’s message.

“Should we go to this thing?” I called out as he opened the door.

“You already know what I think, Jin.” He called back, disappearing down the hallway.

I sighed and hit reply, typing that Gabriel and I would be there and to text me the time and place.

#

Worrying about Hiro and Inoue’s stupid dating party plan ruined my morning. In the end Gabriel told me to either text Hiro and tell him we weren’t going or shut up about it. My mother arrived home around lunchtime, just as Gabriel and I were heading out to find something to eat. I told her about Hikari’s surprise visit and that I had told her to come back for dinner with us some time soon. She looked surprised at first but seemed to warm up to the idea. Maybe I wasn’t the only lonely one.

Gabriel and I weren’t going far. There was a trendy café in my neighbourhood that specialized in siphon coffee and I was looking forward to impressing Gabriel with it.

After lunch I felt like I had salvaged the day somewhat. Gabriel loved watching the siphon coffee being made, although I was disappointed to learn that he’d already seen it at home. We ate lunch without mentioning the upcoming party, and by the time we were walking home I was much happier.

My mother had brought home edible souvenirs from Kyoto and all three of us sat down in the living room with hot tea and cherry leaf wrapped rice cakes.

“How was your first week at school, Gabriel?” my mother asked as she refilled our tea cups.

“Fantastic. I don’t ever want to leave.” I watched their exchange as I nibbled on my rice cake.

My mother laughed at his enthusiasm. “You won’t be able to stay in high school forever, but I’m sure University will be just as much fun.”

“I think so too. Jin and I have already started studying.” I felt a wave of guilt as my mother turned to me with a pleased look. True, we had made a start, but our extra-curricular activities had been more physical than studious.

“I was thinking about prep school again,” I offered hesitantly, and I watched my mother’s face light up. “Maybe we could both enrol…” I trailed off, but I’d done it now.

“That’s a great idea!” she turned to Gabriel. “Would you like to do that, Gabriel? I’m sure it will be beneficial for you. T University is very competitive.”

“That sounds great.” We locked eyes over the table and I felt a thrill of excitement. Sure, actually attending would be a pain, but my mother was already climbing to her feet to make a phone call and with her on the case we were likely to get places within a week. That meant no more getting dragged out with Saki in the afternoons. We had a ready-made excuse to avoid everyone.

“That escalated quickly.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes, casting a glance at the doorway where my mother had disappeared.

“She wanted me in prep this year but I refused. I think she’s been worried that I’ll fail the entrance exams and she’ll be stuck with me for another year.”

Gabriel laughed and reached out to ruffle my hair.

“I won’t let you fail. You’re definitely coming to T Uni with me.”

#

Later that afternoon I stood in my bedroom looking for something to wear to Hiro’s stupid dating party. I’d already tried on three different outfits and I’d rejected all of them. Halfway through my one-man fashion parade Gabriel came over to see what all the fuss was about and he had taken up residence on my bed, offering his own opinions and suggestions.

“I said no red,” he said as I picked up my black and red sweater again.

“But I _like_ red,” I protested, getting more and more frustrated with his pointed comments and unhelpful critiques. He sighed heavily and slid off the bed.

“Hang on,” he said, disappearing to his room and returning with a navy blue jacket. He dropped it on my bed, turning to rifle through the pile of rejected shirts and extracting a long-sleeved one.

“Here, put this one on.” He threw it at my head and the world went white. I pulled off the shirt I was wearing, replacing it with the one he chose.

“Jacket.” He handed me the jacket and I pulled it on next.

Gabriel wasn’t finished with me yet. From his pocket he produced a leather cord necklace that he fastened around my neck, arranging the small silver pendant over my shirt before reaching up to push my hair back.

He looked at me, head tilted to the side as his fingers held my hair off my face.

“Don’t move.” He vanished again and I took the opportunity to check what he was doing to me. I felt the necklace, holding the cold metal pendant between my fingers. I jumped and dropped my hands back to my sides when Gabriel reappeared holding a small pink pot.

“What is that?” I eyed it warily, and he grinned.

“Figures you wouldn’t recognise hair wax.” He twisted the lid off and I closed my eyes as he started pulling his fingers through my hair again. It felt so relaxing and the hair wax had a sweet smell like candy. “There.” I opened my eyes again and watched him replace the lid. “You’ll probably give Ayase a heart attack, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about her coming on to you tonight.” He was saying, reaching for the tissues to wipe the excess product from his hands. “And this is Hiroki’s favourite colour,” he gestured to my borrowed jacket. “So he’ll like looking at you although he probably won’t realise why.”

I turned to check my appearance in the mirror and my jaw fell open. Was that really me? I reached up to tentatively touch my hair; it was firm but not hard. I found I could move it if I wanted to, but I liked how Gabriel had pushed it back and ruffled it up so I looked kind of…

“Bad ass, hey? Bet you didn’t think you were a hottie.”

I felt a thrill of happiness at Gabriel’s praise before a frown creased my face as I turned to him.

“How do you know Hiro likes blue?” I said, and he rolled his eyes at me.

“Because I have eyes.” I was unsatisfied with his answer and he sighed as he elaborated. “Because when you’re poor you don’t waste money on crap you don’t like. Hiroki chooses navy blue… a lot.”

I couldn’t believe Gabriel had picked up on something like that in one week. I turned back to my reflection.

“How did you know my hair would look good like this?” I asked, turning to examine my reflection from all angles. Over my shoulder I could see Gabriel watching me.

“You always look good,” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder. “Now are we going to this thing or not?”

#

I didn’t know why I felt so nervous. The entire train ride all I could think about was how carefully Gabriel had dressed me. The fact that he had deliberately chosen to make me look good for Hiro was something I was having a hard time getting my head around. There was no way I stood a chance at breaking up Hiro and Inoue; he was never going to be interested in me that way, I knew that. But Gabriel’s unexpected consideration was causing all kinds of issues as my brain tried to process what his motives could be.

We exited the station and were immediately mugged by Saki and Miya, who explained they had been waiting so they didn’t risk being the first to arrive. Saki had spotted Gabriel’s blond hair in the crowd, but it was me her attention was currently on.

“Wow, Jin. I love your hair.”

I beamed at her appraising look. “Thanks.”

“Trying an image change?” she asked, folding her arms as she looked me up and down.

“Just for tonight. Why? Don’t you like it?”

“ _I_ like it,” Miya piped up, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

Saki stepped forward to link arms with Gabriel and I, and Miya turned to take my other arm.

“We’re in trouble now, Miya.” Saki called as we headed towards the restaurant.

“We’ve already got two handsome guys and we’re not even at the party yet.”

#

The girls didn’t have to worry; they were definitely not the first at the restaurant. I could see Hiro, Takuya, Inoue and Ayase seated in a booth towards the back as soon as we entered. There were comments on my new look, although I noticed Ayase was very quiet, and when I caught her eye she turned bright red and looked away. Gabriel had been right; she looked terrified of me.

Hiro complemented me on my look, saying it really suited me and I thanked him as Gabriel bumped my knee under the table. Soon we were joined by the last of our party, two more friends of Inoue’s. I recognised the girl as Nanami Iida; we had been in the same class last year, and Inoue introduced the boy as Shouta Hayashida. He seemed shy and I wondered how someone like Inoue knew him. Enquiries revealed they were in the calligraphy club together.

Considering how much I had dreaded this event, it started out innocuously enough. We placed our orders for dinner and everyone seemed to get along well as we got to know each other. I ignored Hiro as much as I could, but I still couldn’t help but notice how he had shifted so close to Inoue that their shoulders were touching. I was still annoyed with him for dragging me out to witness this farce.

Instead I tried talking to Ayase, thinking that if she got to know me better she would realise there was nothing special about me. To my extreme embarrassment, Saki helped shatter my mysterious illusion as she regaled the group with humiliating tales from my youth. In the end I had to threaten to start exposing her embarrassing stories until she finally gave me a break.

I escaped to the drinks bar and was surprised when Gabriel followed me.

“Not so bad, is it?”

“It could be worse.” I shrugged as I refilled my cola.

“That Iida chick is pretty full-on,” he commented, and I narrowed my eyes as I looked back over at our table. I had noticed she had been paying Gabriel a lot of attention, but I didn’t think that it would be enough to bother him.

“And I think I underestimated Ayase,” he whispered as he turned his back on the table. He was retreating, winking at me before turning around and weaving around the tables to avoid Ayase as she made a beeline for me.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly, looking up at me as she twisted her fingers in her skirt nervously.

“Hi,” I repeated, not really sure what I was supposed to do in this situation. “Did you want something to drink?” I asked her, and a look of relief crossed her face.

“Yes!” she said loudly, then shook her head and continued in a much quieter voice. “I mean, yes. Thank you.” I put down my drink to get another glass and I asked her what she’d like, pouring her a cola when she said anything was fine. I handed her the cup and tried to think of something intelligent to say. She beat me to it.

“I-I like your outfit today.” I glanced down at myself before grinning at her.

“Me too. It’s not my usual style but it’s growing on me.”

“I know,” she agreed, and then caught herself. “That it’s a new style, I mean.” She was blushing furiously. “Um, thank you for the drink!” she blurted out, darting back to the table and leaving me wondering what exactly had just happened.

It felt weird being on the other side; usually I was the one flustered and not knowing what to say. It felt empowering to be the calm and collected one for a change.

I took my seat back at our table and I was annoyed to see that Inoue was smiling at me in a kind way. She was obviously happy with the way I was treating her friend, but she was very much mistaken if she thought things would be going according to her plan. Ayase seemed like a nice girl, but I was not even remotely interested in her.

After Gabriel’s mention of Iida I started to pay closer attention to her and Gabriel. I was surprised to see that she was sitting almost as close to him as Inoue and Hiro were, and that every now and then she would deliberately brush her hand across his. My hands balled into fists in my lap as I tried not to lose my temper at the table. _Who the hell did she think she was_?

I was relieved when the evening finally drew to a close. Given that we all had school the next day it had been agreed that we wouldn’t stay out too late. Walking out together, the talk turned to who was walking to which station. There were a few whistles as Hiro announced that he would be escorting Inoue home, and I was glad Takuya was closest and congratulated him properly. I really didn’t feel like I could do it myself. They waved to everyone as they left, and to my surprise Inoue turned and smiled at me again. I forced a smile in return, but as soon she as she wasn’t looking I dropped the fake smile. If she thought I was going to offer to take Ayase home then she was delusional.

In the end, it looked like Miya and Inoue’s friend Hayashida had hit it off well, and he offered to walk with her to the station. She was hesitating, obviously worried about ditching her friend as she cast a look at Saki, when Saki intervened and gave them a little push, saying that she had something to talk to us about and that she would see her tomorrow. I watched them leave with a feeling of satisfaction. Miya had always lived under Saki’s shadow and I was pleased to see someone appreciating her for the sweet person she was.

Gabriel, Saki, and I all needed to return to the same station Miya and Hayashida were going to, but Saki was making us hang back to give them time to talk together.

I noticed Iida edging closer to Gabriel and I announced that since Gabriel and I were heading to a different platform than Miya it didn’t matter if we left now. I said our good byes over Saki’s protests and left them, overhearing Takuya try to tell Saki he should make sure she made it home safely while she insisted that she was fine and that she was more concerned about Nanami.

“So was it everything you hoped for?” Gabriel asked, hands in his pockets as he kept up with my long strides.

 _Had_ I been hoping for anything? Not really. I knew Hiro was beyond my reach and, honestly, while I still loved him, in the last few days I felt like it had changed. He was important to me, definitely, but was I _in love_ with him? I was starting to think I wasn’t anymore.

“I made it out alive anyway.” I shrugged my shoulders as Gabriel cast me sideways look.

“No great love confession from Ayase?”

I laughed, remembering her nervousness at the drinks bar.

“I think it’s about ten years too early for that.”

“Still, she approached you on her own. That was pretty gutsy, considering.”

I shrugged again. I didn’t really care about Ayase and it didn’t seem that big of a deal to me.

“Thanks for loaning me the jacket,” I said suddenly, and Gabriel shot me one of his unreadable looks. “I can’t believe you picked Hiro’s favourite colour in one week. I’ve never even noticed before.”

“Well, you’re a bit dense sometimes,” he said teasingly, and I gave his shoulder a playful shove. He laughed as he skipped away from me. His comment had reminded me of something and I moved closer as I lowered my voice.

“Iida seems pretty into you.”

“Picked up on that, did you?” he asked, throwing me a curious glance.

“Did she ask you out?” I pressed, eyes downcast as I waited for his answer.

“Nah.”

Instantly I felt relieved. “I bet she will though. Poor Iida, she’ll be so crushed when you turn her down.”

“Who says I’ll turn her down?”

I tripped over my own feet and had to jog a few steps to catch up.

“I though you didn’t do relationships?” I asked accusingly, but he just shrugged.

“I can still have fun, can’t I?”

“But…” _what about me?_ I screamed internally. _I thought you were having fun with me?_ I couldn’t finish my thought out loud and Gabriel was frustratingly silent. “So you’re going to go out with Iida.” I sounded angry and I tried to get myself back under control.

“I didn’t say I would, just that I could if I wanted too.”

We had joined the crowd surging down the steps to our platform and for a moment we were parted. As we reached the last step I wanted to reach out and close the gap between us, but I held back. We waited in silence for the train. I had no idea what Gabriel was thinking, but my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and fears. It was happening, just like I knew it would. I had given in to him, admitted to myself my changing feelings, and now that he’d had his fun he was done with me.

I stewed in these thoughts the entire way home. Gabriel seemed unperturbed by my attitude and left me to my own devices, keeping his distance while we rode the train. The walk home from the station was the worst part though. Just last night we had walked the same path, and I thought about it every time we passed one of the spots Gabriel had hidden us in to kiss me yesterday.

#

When we got home my mother was unsurprisingly absent again. I was relieved there wasn’t anyone around to notice my bad mood.

I stripped off the jacket in the hall, handing it to Gabriel. He had accepted it wordlessly, eyes dark and unreadable as I announced I was going to the bath first. I had felt a flicker of hope when he reached for me, but his hands had merely settled on the necklace, unfastening it silently before he left me standing in the hall.

It was strange preparing for bed without Gabriel pestering me. I had bathed quickly and returned to hide in my room. Instead of going to Gabriel to tell him the bath was free I slammed my door shut before hitting the lights and climbing into bed. It was childish, but I felt unbelievably angry as I listened for his door opening and watched for footsteps down the hall.

 _Just who did he think he was_? Marching into my life and making me care about him when all he intended to do was walk out of it again? I rolled over to face the wall, hugging myself as I tried not to think about Gabriel naked in the bath downstairs.

I was still trying not to think about him when I heard him come back up the stairs. I refused to turn to watch for his shadow and I let out the breath I had been holding when I heard his door open. I didn’t want to go to bed angry with him, but I felt so worked up that I knew if I tried to talk to him I’d just end up making the situation worse. This was my fault. Gabriel had said from the beginning that he was in it for the sex. My feelings were my own problem.

I heard footsteps in the hall again and I lifted my head from the pillow as my door opened and closed. I held my breath as I waited in the dark.

Gabriel silently pulled the sheet down and I let it be stripped away as I rolled over to look up at him.

He was naked from the waist up as he kneeled over me to gently capture my lips with his. I reached up automatically to touch him, sliding my hands over his shoulders to pull him closer.

He kissed me deeply, pressing me back into the pillows before turning my head to kiss down my throat. I let him pull my pants from me, my erection bobbing free as I lifted my hips to help him.

He wasted no time, lifting my legs over his shoulders as he began to lick me, pulling soft gasps from me as I twisted my hands in the sheet. I heard the familiar click of a cap and soon a cold, wet finger was pressing against me. Instead of pushing in he circled me, rubbing around my hole and teasing me. Every time he neared my entrance I bucked my hips, desperate for him to open me up.

He finally seemed to comply as he pressed against me, but when he didn’t enter me straight away I pushed back, sighing deeply as he finally penetrated me. My movement had only swallowed the tip of his finger, but he continued to push into me to the knuckle before waiting for me to stretch and relax around him. I jerked my hips to let him know it was ok for him to move and I was rewarded by a slow, steady pace as he began to pump into me.

I felt my legs lowered to the bed and Gabriel bent between my knees. When his lips wrapped around my cock I cried out softly and his hand on my cock matched the slow pace he had set below. The rhythm was only broken for a brief moment to apply more lubricant, and then two fingers were slowly pushing into me, the pace still maddeningly slow. 

Gabriel released his grip on me as he moved back and I mourned the loss of heat as I fell from his lips. He continued to slowly scissor his fingers, curling them to cause bursts of pleasure as he brushed over my special spot.

I let my eyes drift closed as he pleasured me. He had left the light off but even in the gloom I might have been able to see his face, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to catch his eye. He had been so quiet; I was scared of what I might see if I looked. I gasped as his fingers brushed up once more before they were slowly withdrawn. I felt the bed move and I screwed my eyes shut even tighter as I listened to Gabriel retrieve a condom. I was surprised when he gently rolled one on me.

I risked a peek through my lashes and watched as Gabriel closed his hand around himself and stroked quickly for a few seconds before unwrapping a second condom and rolling it on himself.

A wave of guilt crashed over me as I realised that while he had been preparing me I hadn’t done anything for him. As he returned to the bed I tried to sit up, but his hand reached out and gently pushed me down again. I looked up at him puzzled, but his eyes slid away from me as he raised my legs and lined himself up. He had coated himself already and I felt a momentary coolness as he rested the tip against me. I relaxed, lying back to close my eyes again as he pushed into me agonisingly slowly.

My legs were rocked back towards my chest, and I opened my eyes to watch as Gabriel pushed my knees together and moved them to the side. He bent down to kiss me, and my eyes went wide as he started to move in me. The way he had arranged my body meant that he could easily reach down without putting a strain on my legs, and he kissed me deeply even as he began to thrust. I could reach up and run my fingers through his hair as he fucked me, and I moaned into his mouth when he tilted his hips and was suddenly sweeping against that spot.

At this angle there was little I could do to assist, but as Gabriel continued his maddeningly slow pace my chest began to heave with the effort of keeping up with him. I could feel every inch of him as he slid into me, his hard, slick cock withdrawing almost entirely before he would push back in so deep I could feel his balls pressing against me.

My eyes had drifted closed again but I opened them now. Gabriel was resting his forehead against mine and I tilted my face up to initiate a kiss.

I kissed him hungrily, hands pulling him down to me as I tried to convey my desperation. My teeth grazed over his bottom lip and he quickened his pace. I was almost disappointed when he pulled away, but it was only to steady himself by gripping my raised hip as he began to pump into me faster.

I pressed my hands to my mouth, trying to muffle the cries tearing from me as I felt my hard cock slap against my stomach every time Gabriel pounded into me. I felt dizzy as my orgasm coiled in my belly and I came suddenly, clenching around him as I twitched, gasping for breath as I tried to choke back my cries. I felt him shudder as my release triggered his. He pulled me against him firmly as he thrust hard once, twice, and then one final time before he was slumping sideways, cock sliding from me as he fell at my feet.

His hand had fallen from my hip, and now that he was no longer holding me steady I slowly extended my legs. Beside me Gabriel lay on his back, chest heaving and eyes closed as he recovered. I wanted to touch him, but something was holding me back.

After a minute Gabriel slowly sat up, and I watched him through half closed eyes as he took care of me. He must have brought everything over with him, because after he removed my condom he gently wiped me clean. I lay still as he pressed a kiss to my clean, deflated cock, and let him lift my leg to carefully wipe between my legs. After quickly sorting himself out he leaned back down to kiss me once more. His lips moved against me tenderly, gently parting my lips to sweep his tongue against mine.

As I reached for him he pulled away instead, breaking the kiss as he cradled my face. I touched the back of his hand hesitantly as he looked down at me, but before I could ask him to stay he had turned away. I watched in silence as he retrieved his pyjamas and returned to his room.

I stared at the door for a long moment feeling conflicted. My body felt heavy and relaxed; Gabriel had completely satisfied me physically, but I felt tears gather in my eyes as I reflected that we had not exchanged a single word.


	9. Monday: the second week begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A disclaimer: the conditional sentence Gabriel chooses for the English lesson is blatantly stolen from an episode of Full Metal Panic, the dub version at least.

**Day Eight:** **the second week begins** (Monday)

I woke up, and for a moment I wasn’t sure where I was. As the realisation dawned that I had slept alone in my own bed for once a feeling of loneliness washed over me. I pushed that feeling down, determined not to think about Gabriel and his behaviour last night. If it had been anyone else, I would just ignore their mixed signals, but I was fast discovering that Gabriel was very difficult to ignore.

Last night I had lay awake for hours analysing every touch, look, and word that had passed between us and I was more convinced with every passing second that I had completely fallen for Gabriel’s trap. I might as well go in there now waving a white flag telling him he’d won; maybe then he’d stop yanking me around, because the emotional whiplash was killing me.

At least, I’d thought that I was done, but while the coffee brewed I decided that I would be damned if I was going to go down without a fight. Probably no one had ever challenged him before and that’s why he was such a heartbreaking heavyweight. I carried both cups up to Gabriel’s room, determined that whatever game he was playing, I wasn’t going to be the one to give in first.

I held both mugs awkwardly one-handed as I turned the doorknob, but as I pushed the door open I was alarmed to see that instead of being asleep in bed, Gabriel was on the floor.

Head slumped forward and with his back resting against the mattress, I almost spilled hot coffee all over me as I rushed over. To my relief a closer look revealed he appeared to have fallen asleep reading. I let out a long, shaky breath as I crouched down to remove the fallen book from his lap. Glancing at the cover as I put it aside, I frowned at the cover art. He didn’t strike me as the fantasy type but then again he was just full of surprises.

“Gabriel?” I shook his shoulder gently. I shifted to kneel instead, applying a little more force as I continued to shake him awake. “Hey! Wake up, dummy.” He finally stirred, groaning as I slapped him on the shoulder. “Why’d you stay up all night?” I asked, and he slumped sideways, leaning all his weight against me.

“Yes,” came his mumbled, sleepy reply. I smiled wryly and rubbed his back as he leaned into my shoulder.

“Come on, get into bed.” I tried to push him back so I could stand up but he was a dead weight. I couldn’t move him on my own. “Come on Gabriel. You can’t sleep here. Up!” I shifted back and he caught himself before he fell over. He finally sat up and opened his eyes before he blinked at me drowsily.

“You hate me.” His eyes had slipped closed again and my arms reached up to catch him as he slumped forward once again. I felt my heart lurch in my chest as I felt his chest rise and fall with even breaths. He’d fallen asleep again.

“I don’t hate you, idiot.” I wrapped an arm around him and buried my face in his neck. He was warm and his hair was tickling my nose and I didn’t want to let go.

There was no way I was going to get Gabriel to school this morning. I did at least manage to get him into bed; he woke up enough to help me pull him to his feet but once he was under the covers he was out like a light again. I drank my coffee as I watched him sleep and argued with the demon and the angel on my shoulders about whether I had to go to school today. Eventually I picked myself up to get changed for school, but before I left I wrote a note to Gabriel and left it under his phone, asking him to text me when he woke up so I knew he was alive.

I hesitated for a moment after leaving the note. He looked so innocent when he was asleep and I brushed his hair behind his ear before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead.

It felt weird going to school without Gabriel. He’d only been in my life for one week, but somehow it felt like I’d known him so much longer. Once I got to school I went straight to the staff room to lie to our homeroom teacher.

Explaining that Gabriel hadn’t been well this morning and would most likely not be in today was easier than I thought it would be, and I was relieved when they didn’t make a huge deal out of it. Dragging my feet to the classroom, I thought about the rest of the people I would be lying to today. I was half-dreading having to see Hiro. He would definitely question me about Gabriel’s absence and I didn’t want to talk to him about it. I needed time to think about Gabriel’s unpredictable actions by myself.

By the time I walked into the classroom I was ready to go home again. I registered Hiro’s empty desk with a sigh of relief and walked straight to my own, pulling out my books and arranging them for the day.   

I couldn’t concentrate at all during the first lesson until I heard my phone buzzing in my bag. I checked it surreptitiously under my desk and saw that Gabriel was alive and bored. I darted a glance up at the teacher whose back was to the class as they wrote on the board— _perfect_.

I quickly texted him back to suggest he might like to read a nice _book_ , and I nearly had a heart attack a minute later when my phone started vibrating loudly in my desk where I’d stashed it. The entire class failed to suppress their laughter as the teacher silently held out their hand for my phone. I handed it over, red to the tips of my ears, silently cursing Gabriel.

As soon as the lesson ended and my phone was returned I ducked down the hall, calling up Gabriel’s contact and smiling grimly at the name I had given him in my phone. He answered on the second ring.

“I’m at school, you idiot. Why are you calling me?” I hissed at him before he could say anything, and I closed my eyes as I slid down the wall. He was laughing at me.

“Sorry,” he didn’t sound sorry; he sounded amused. “I’m just bored without you. Your ma’s home though. She’s going to take me out for lunch later.”

I frowned as I asked him why.

“Dunno. Maybe she’s bored too. Come home and we can go out together.”

“You know I can’t.”

“Ah well.”

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Please stay out of trouble today.” I didn’t feel very reassured as I heard what sounded like him falling back on his pillows.  

“You know me.”

“Yes, I do. That’s why I’m begging you to behave.”

“I love it when you beg.” His voice was low and sexy and it was making the front of my pants uncomfortably tight.

“That is exactly what I’m talking about.” Hiro stuck his head around the corner and called me just as I spotted the teacher coming down the hall. “I’ve got to go, behave.” I hung up, cutting him off as I shoved my phone back in my pocket and raced back into the classroom just before the teacher got there.

Knowing that he was awake and seemingly back to normal should have been a load off my mind, but instead I felt even more distracted as I tried to focus on the lesson.

When lunch finally rolled around, I dragged my feet unenthusiastically to the cafeteria. Hiro had told me at an earlier break that he had asked Inoue to sit with us, and it turned out that Inoue came in a set with Ayase. Without Gabriel to distract everyone and with Inoue glued to Hiro I was forced to make small talk with Ayase all lunch. It was hard to concentrate as I wondered what Gabriel was getting up to. I had hoped he would text me again, but my phone was disappointingly silent. I had never before been so grateful for lunch to be over as we separated to go to class.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened until the last lesson. Our teacher was unavailable and we were told to self-study in their absence. I took the opportunity to text Gabriel while pretending to read. I was wondering what he’d been up to all day and I grew impatient when he took ages to reply.

            - Hey, just went to check out a prep school. Your ma got us in, she was like a tiger-mom.

I read his reply, shaking my head at his description. She could definitely be scary when she tried; I was glad she only turned on the attitude occasionally. I didn’t think I’d cope very well if she was always on my case. I asked him if they were home yet and I was disappointed when he replied that they were still out.

As the last bell of the day drew near pretty much everyone had given up on pretending to study. Most of the class had abandoned their desks to sit with their friends, and I was borrowing the chair in front of Hiro’s desk as we talked about last night.

“So what did you think of Ayase-san? I noticed you dressed up for her,” he said, keeping his voice low as he waggled his eyebrows at me.

I rolled my eyes. He really had no idea, and I had a mad urge to tell him that if I had dressed up for anyone it was him, but even as the thought occurred to me I realised that I had been more concerned with Gabriel last night. I had thought about it before, that Gabriel must find me somewhat attractive, otherwise why was he always all over me? But he’d never really complimented me in so many words before, and I had felt happy when he told me I always looked good.

There was a clamour of chairs scraping as the bell finally went, and I didn’t bother to keep my voice down.

“I didn’t do it for her. I just felt like being different for a change.”

Lies. My mini-makeover had not been my idea. I had just let Gabriel do whatever he wanted. I frowned as my thoughts returned to Gabriel and his hidden motives.

“If you’re not into her that’s fine. I know you said before you already liked someone else.”

Hiro had noticed my look and was making a sympathetic face at me. I swallowed nervously as I looked around the room for a distraction. Inoue was standing by the door talking with her friends and I tried to divert him from the direction he was taking the conversation.

“Is Inoue waiting for you?”

He shook his head. “Not today, I’ve got to study remember?” he wasn’t easily dissuaded as we stood up to grab our bags.   

“So you never said who it was you liked?”

“And I never will.” He had followed me over to my desk as I retrieved my bag.

“Jin,” he shook his head sadly at me, “Did you talk to them at least?”

“No.”  

“That’s not fair. You need to consider their feelings too. What if they like you back?”

“Trust me, they don’t,” I said flatly, shouldering my bag.

We were the last one’s in the classroom, and as I turned back to look at him he reached out to put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Jin, you’re my best friend. I want you to be happy.”

 “Thanks, Hiro. That-“ I paused, feeling a bit overwhelmed as his hand slid down to awkwardly pat me on my upper arm. “That really means a lot.”

“Gabriel!”

I jumped in surprise when I heard a girl calling from the hall outside. I turned and there was Gabriel, standing framed in the doorway. I couldn’t read the look on his face and, as I watched, Iida appeared beside him, reaching out to take hold of his arm and pulling him away. I quickly turned around again. How long had he been standing there? Had he overheard me talking to Hiro? 

“Jin?” I jumped in surprise as I realised Hiro was still talking to me.

“What?” I said stupidly. I had no idea what he’d said to me. My brain was sending me into a panic. Why was Gabriel at school? I felt like I had to get to him quickly. I didn’t like the idea of Iida and Gabriel alone. “Sorry, I’ve got to catch Gabriel, I’ll see you tomorrow!” I ducked into the hall and took off in the direction they had disappeared. Iida couldn’t have gotten far with him and I set off down the hall at a jog to try and find them.

I didn’t have to look for long. I rounded the nearby corner and almost collided with them. Iida completely ignored me as I skidded to a stop, smiling up at Gabriel with big, shiny eyes.

“I’ll text you later then,” she said, waving her phone as she took a step backwards. I looked between her and Gabriel as she called her goodbyes.

“Why is Iida texting you?” I asked hesitantly, and Gabriel looked down at his own phone.

“I guess because we’re dating now,” he replied, shoving his phone back in his pocket and turning to walk back towards the classroom.

I stood rooted to the spot, trying to process what had just happened.

Gabriel couldn’t be dating Iida.

Gabriel didn’t _date_.

I rounded on him angrily, jogging to catch up when I saw how far ahead of me he was.

“What do you mean, ‘ _we’re dating now’_?” I hissed as I drew level with him.

He shrugged, hands still in his pockets as he sauntered down the hall like he owned the school.

“She asked me out and I said yes. That’s how it works, isn’t it?”

I stopped in the middle of the hall and he paused to look over his shoulder at me.

“Something wrong, Jin?”

I had clenched my fists at my sides and I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, forcing myself to relax my hands and look at him.

“Nothing. You said it yourself yesterday; you can date Iida if you want to.”

“Exactly. Now can we go home? I must have tons of work to catch up on,” he said dismissively.

He wasn’t waiting for me, and after a second’s hesitation I jogged to catch up to him again. If he wanted to play it that way, that was fine by me. I did ask him what he was doing at school though.

“Your ma had to come in for a PTA meeting,” he explained. She had suggested, given the time, that he might like to go home with me instead of by himself. _Very useful, thankyou mother_ , I thought angrily.

Gabriel continued to discuss school and what he had missed that day, and by the time we were changing our shoes and walking out of the building my anger had subsided. The whole scene with Iida was starting to feel like a bad dream. Gabriel was chatty and he was back to nudging me with his shoulder, all friendly casual touches.

We made our way home leisurely as he filled me in on the prep school situation. I was surprised that Gabriel seemed genuinely pleased that we could start as soon as next week and I felt a burst of happiness as he smiled. The good mood continued when he noticed a café that promised the best iced coffee in the country and he dragged me in by the strap of my school bag.

It was surreal to be sitting by the window, watching the world go by as I sipped my iced coffee. Across from me Gabriel was practically indecent as he moaned about how wonderful his was.

“Keep your voice down.” I darted a look around the mostly deserted café, but secretly I was pleased that we were talking again.

“But it’s so good,” he moaned, “Canned coffee on demand is pretty sweet, but _this_ ,” he sipped at the sugary concoction again. “I’ve missed real iced coffee.”

“Even though you normally drink it black,” I commented, and almost regretted my observation. Something flashed in his eyes, a spark of recognition. I was afraid he was going to tease me, to call out how much attention I pay to his caffeine habit, but all he did was sip at his straw again, eyes sliding away to look out the window.  

Something was changing between us and I was scared I was losing him. Almost like my thoughts were being broadcast, Gabriel’s phone buzzed and he glanced down to read the message.

I saw his lips quirk in a smile before he clicked the screen off. I desperately wanted to ask him if it was from Iida and what she had sent, but instead I silently played with the cork coaster as I sipped my drink.

#

“You’re very quiet today.”

I jumped, glancing up from my books as I looked at Gabriel over the table. We had been studying in my room for almost an hour, and we hadn’t said a word to each other since we started.

“I’m just concentrating. English tomorrow.” I gestured to my open book and he smiled.

“If it’s an English lesson you want I can give it to you.” He rose to his feet, coming around the table to sit next to me. I shifted self-coconsciously as his shoulder brushed against mine. “What are you having trouble with?”

I swallowed and looked back down at the page, trying very hard to concentrate on the words.

“Mostly just pronunciation.” I told him. “I understand everything when it’s written down, I just trip over my tongue when I try and speak.” I tried not to think about kissing Gabriel as he leaned closer.

“You just need to practice then.” He told me, and I nodded in agreement. “We could practice now. Try reading this one.” He pointed to a sentence on the page and I focused on it intently.

“Ehfoo. Aye. Hadu. Oohing goosoo.”

“Stop.” I flushed as Gabriel laughed at me. “You suck at this. _If I had wings_ , see? It’s easy, stop adding so many extra syllables.” 

I glared at him. “Not all of us can speak a second language flawlessly _Gabriel_ ,” I said venomously. I had narrowed my eyes at him as he watched me with eyes sparkling with amusement.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.” He leaned down and kissed me, and I melted into him as I kissed him back. _To hell with studying_. Gabriel let me push him down and his hands travelled lightly up my sides as I moved on top of him. He had pulled my shirt free of my waist band and started unbuttoning it when I heard a phone buzz on the table.

“Do you need to get that?” I asked as I kissed down his neck. My shirt had fallen open now and Gabriel leaned up to lick my nipple. 

“Nah. It’s probably just Iida.” I felt a wave of annoyance at her name, and then suddenly shot bolt upright as I remembered.

“You’re going out with Iida!” I scrambled off of him, knocking the table back in my haste to put some distance between us. I had completely forgotten, becoming swept up in the mood like I always did when it came to Gabriel.

“So?” He sat up leisurely, reaching out to grab the loose tail of my shirt to pull me closer again.

“So?!” I repeated shrilly, tugging my shirt free of his grasp and quickly buttoning it closed. “You’re her boyfriend now! You can’t just go around kissing other people!”

He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair and pulling it back down over his eyes.

“I said I’d go out with her. She didn’t ask me to be her exclusive boyfriend,” he said sulkily.

“But that’s what she meant!” I cried, covering my face with my hands.

“Look, I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” he explained, and I lowered my hands slightly to look at him over my fingertips. “I already have an arrangement with you, remember? She can’t expect me to just drop everything for her.”

I stared at him in shock. Was he really suggesting that he thought I’d keep sleeping with him now that he was dating Iida?

“This is a joke, right?” I asked tentatively, and he tilted his head as he regarded me. “Did Iida really ask you out?”

In answer, Gabriel reached for his phone, quickly scanning the text and rolling his eyes at it before turning the phone around to show me.

            - Now that we’re going out, will you call me Na~na~mi <3

I read the text three times before I calmed down enough to look at him again.

“Our deal is cancelled,” I said, moving to the far side of the table and dragging my books across. “I don’t need you anyway.” I kept my eyes down as I continued, “prep school will be enough.”

I risked a look up at him and immediately regretted it. He was still rumpled from being kissed, and my eyes darted to his lips automatically. I had been about to order him to leave, but as much as I wanted to hurl hurtful words at him I felt like they were hurting me at the same time. Instead of kicking him out I heard myself telling him he could still study with me.

“But if you touch me again I’m going to tell Iida.”

He clicked his tongue at that, rising from the floor and stalking from my room, leaving his books and slamming the door behind him. I looked down at my book and tried to read the sentence again.

_If I had wings, I would fly to you._

The words blurred as my tears began to fall.

#

I had put some much-needed distance between us. After Gabriel had stormed off and I had calmed down a bit I went downstairs to look for dinner options. Gabriel hadn’t mentioned if my mother was planning to be back this evening and the kitchen was looking pretty sparse. In the end I shut the fridge and decided I’d just order in. I debated going up to ask Gabriel what he felt like before deciding that I’d just order for him, and if he didn’t like it then he could starve.

I waited downstairs for the delivery, fluctuating between wishing Gabriel would come downstairs and talk to me and hoping that he stayed away. By the time the delivery boy dropped off the boxes of hot soba noodles and tempura prawns I was such a wreck that when he handed me my change and said “Enjoy your meal” I stupidly replied, “You too”.  

In the end though, calling Gabriel down to eat hadn’t been nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be. I had knocked on his open door, and he’d smiled and acted normally, although I noticed he had been careful not to brush against me as he overtook me on the way to the living room.

We were eating in silence now. It was better than arguing again but I still felt I should make some effort of hospitality. The anger I had felt earlier had prompted me arrange our meals on opposite sides of the table and I felt embarrassed that I was acting so childishly. Gabriel seemed content to leave me in peace though. I had been sure he would call me out on the table setting but he had just sat down wordlessly on the far side, and now he was eating his tempura and watching the TV over my shoulder.

I wanted to extend an offer of peace, to apologise for my harsh words earlier when I’d said I didn’t need him. I had been upset, but regardless of how justified my anger was, I had been rude. I didn’t know how to begin though, so I ended up wasting my opportunity. Gabriel had finished and was standing up, asking me if I he could have a bath first.

“I don’t mind.” We finally looked at each other then, and there was so much I wanted to say to him, but I felt the words stick in my throat. He left without another word to me and I went back to poking at my congealing noodles in disappointment.

#

The rest of the evening passed in much the same way the afternoon had. Gabriel had gone straight back to his room after his bath and I went down after I heard his door close. I couldn’t help thinking about how tonight felt so much like last night, and I was angry with myself for half hoping that Gabriel might come to me again like he did before.

I didn’t want to help him cheat on Iida. I didn’t want to be responsible for causing someone else that kind of pain, so I mostly hoped that he would stay away. But there was a small part of me that wished for him, that hoped that today had just been a bad dream. I knew that if he did come, I would find it impossible to send him away.

I slowly dried myself, changing into my pyjamas and dragging my feet back upstairs. I lingered in the hallway staring at Gabriel’s closed door for a long minute before I shut my door, turning the lights off and crawling into bed.

Sleep evaded me, and it was several long hours before I finally dropped off.

#


	10. Tuesday: All by myself

**Day Nine: All by myself** (Tuesday)

I did not like waking up alone.

Now that I knew what the alternative was, I vastly preferred waking up next to Gabriel’s warm body, and the fact that this was no longer available to me had put me in a bad mood.

Remembering yesterday morning, I peeked in Gabriel’s room before going downstairs. I was relieved to see that he was sleeping in his bed properly today. I hoped he hadn’t stayed up to all hours reading again.

I debated long and hard in the kitchen before I carried Gabriel’s coffee upstairs, leaving mine on the kitchen counter. I would wake him and leave him to drink his coffee in peace. I certainly wasn’t going to climb into bed with him. My plan was going brilliantly so far. I had placed the mug on the bedside table and called out a few times before he stirred.

“Wake up, I’ve brought you coffee,” I told him brightly as he blinked at me.

“Come’re.” he reached for me and I danced out of the way of his groping arm.

“Nope, I’m not staying. Here,” I pushed the coffee closer. “Drink your coffee. I’ll be downstairs.”

With my heart hammering in my chest, I took the stairs two at a time as I returned to the kitchen. I wondered if Sleepy Morning Gabriel didn’t remember that I was mad at him from yesterday. It seemed strange given the way he had reacted to me on Monday morning. I leant back on the counter as I sipped my coffee, recalling how he had fallen against me yesterday.

 _‘You hate me’,_ he’d said.

Why had he thought that? Sure, we hadn’t exactly had a heart-to-heart, but I hadn’t rejected him, had I? It was worlds apart to how we had parted last night. The boy was a mystery.

Having finished my coffee, I returned to my room to get changed for school. I stuck my head in Gabriel’s room and I was relieved to see that even though he was not out of bed, he was at least sitting up and appeared to have drunk the coffee. He was busy on his phone, and I quietly apologised for disturbing him before retreating to the living room to wait.

After stopping at the bakery for breakfast like usual we made it to school. Gabriel was still being very careful around me; hanging back as we passed through doorways and giving me plenty of space when we rode the train. Even though this was specifically what I had asked for, I was getting a little bit fed up by the time we entered the classroom.

I made a beeline for Hiro, who was resting his head on his desk. Gabriel followed me and we both pulled up chairs as Hiro raised his head.

“Morning,” he yawned, and I returned his sleepy greeting.

“Where’s Inoue?” I asked automatically, and he reached his arms across the desk as he stretched.

“In Saitama. It’s the one-year anniversary of her grandmother’s death.” His fingers brushed against my arm and I looked down at them.

“New watch?” I asked suddenly, noticing the brand new shiny silver dress watch on his wrist.

“Yeah. From Rei.” He was beaming but there was a faint blush in his cheeks. “Four months yesterday.” He looked so pleased.

I think I said something generic like, “That’s great,” but my ears were suddenly ringing. I couldn’t believe they had been secretly dating since Christmas and I had had no idea. Fortunately, Gabriel took charge of the conversation.

“Wow, that’s awesome.” Hiro played with the strap, clearly very pleased with his gift. “Did you guys do anything _special_ to celebrate?” Gabriel continued, resting his chin on his hand as he raised an eyebrow at Hiro. Suddenly the flush in Hiro’s face spread and I stared at him in shock.

“ _No!_ ” I was staring open mouthed as he hurriedly made shushing gestures.

“No! No no! Whatever you’re thinking, no!” Gabriel looked like he was having the time of his life.

“And what are _you_ thinking, Hiroki? Hmm?” he teased as Hiro dropped his face to the desk, voice muffled as he replied.

“Nothing like _that_. We just, y’know. Did more than kissing, a bit.”

I didn’t really know what to say. I was feeling a little bit shocked, to be honest. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. They had been going out for four months, and they had only just gotten to the point where I had been with Gabriel after just days. I darted a look at Gabriel and was surprised to see that he was watching me. I looked away again, feeling uncomfortable, just as Gabriel was called by a classmate.

“Iida-san is here.” We all looked over to see Iida standing in the doorway, and she waved as Gabriel turned around. “Duty calls, guys.” He stood up and Hiro offered him a fist bump before he went out to the hall.

“Rei mentioned those two got together. I guess you’re next, huh?” I had been watching Gabriel and Iida but I turned back to look directly at Hiro.

“No, I don’t think I’m interested in dating anyone right now.”

“Really? But I thought-“

“It was just a crush before. I’m over it.” I cut him off, changing the subject to the drama he had been hooked on recently and hoping that would keep him occupied until our teacher arrived.

I had been hoping for an uneventful morning, but Gabriel had apparently “forgotten” his English textbook and the teacher asked me to share with him. Gabriel had gleefully dragged his desk closer and I had spent the entire lesson trying desperately not to notice how close we were sitting, or how easy it would be to brush against him.

I had been surprised that even though Gabriel had obviously planned to invade my space, he was still avoiding actually touching me. He didn’t initiate any direct contact, and by the end of the lesson I was annoyed with myself for wishing he would just lean a fraction closer to me.

By the time the lunch bell finally rang I was a mess.  I needed to talk to Gabriel alone. I had no idea why he had suddenly decided to go out with Iida, but I wondered if he was trying to punish me in some way. I didn’t think I’d done anything to upset him, but he was such a strange person I never really knew what he was thinking.

“Gab-“ I began, but I was cut off by Iida standing in the doorway. “Gabriel!” She called excitedly, and I turned to see Iida holding a large, wrapped bento.

Gabriel had already slid his desk back and was walking towards her without a backwards glance. I dropped my eyes to my desk as I put my books away. It looked like Iida wanted to have lunch with Gabriel today. Fine. That was _fine._ I could always talk to him later. I looked up as Hiro came to stand by my desk.

“Wanna grab lunch?” he asked, and I smiled up at him, relieved. That’s right. Inoue wasn’t here today. Maybe I could just pretend that the last week hadn’t happened and Hiro and I could have a normal lunch like the old days.

“Sure,” I dug my wallet from my bag and we moved towards the classroom door. Gabriel and Iida were standing just outside, and I ignored them as we turned to head towards the lunch ladies.

“Have fun, you two.” Hiro turned and winked at Gabriel and I clutched my wallet tightly.

“We’d better hurry, Hiro,” I told him, and we both broke into a jog before we missed out on the good stuff.

Despite my warning we managed to buy lunch without incident, and as we headed for the roof I asked Hiro if he wanted a drink from the vending machine.

“Thanks Jin. Coffee, please.”

I slotted a handful of coins in and my finger hovered over the black canned coffee, the one I always bought Gabriel. I remembered just in time that Hiro drank the same as me, and I quickly changed to select two milk coffees instead, handing one to Hiro silently.

We were the first to the roof as per usual and as we sat down Hiro asked if I was ok.

“I’m fine,” I lied, and Hiro cracked open his can as I tried to think of an excuse for my gloomy expression. “I’ve just been thinking about the future.” That wasn’t entirely untrue.  I hoped Hiro would assume that I was worried about entrance exams and, to my relief, it seemed that was the case.

“It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?” Hiro said quietly, and I looked up in surprise.

“ _You_ don’t have to worry,” I told him firmly. “You have the best grades in the school, and you placed really high on the nationals.” My shoulders slumped as I mentally compared Hiro’s test results to mine. “I need to do better this year or I’m not going to make it.”

Hiro offered me a sympathetic look.

“You’ll be fine Jin. The year’s only just begun.” He brightened as he made his next suggestion. “Why don’t we try some practice exams this weekend?” I drank my coffee to avoid having to answer right away as he watched me excitedly. “I can ask my cousin tonight if he can get us some practice exams for Law and Economics.”

I looked up in surprise. I had forgotten that Hiro didn’t know I had changed my mind.

“Actually,” I began, suddenly feeling hesitant about sharing. “I haven’t decided on my major yet.”

Hiro looked shocked as he lowered his drink to stare at me.

“But I thought you…Didn’t your dad plan out your degree?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes for some reason. I felt like he was disappointed in me.

“Yeah, but I never wanted to do it. I’m not sure what I want to do after uni, but I know I don’t want to join the company.” It was weird explaining this to someone else. How strange. I felt like Hiro should know me better than anyone else, and yet he was looking at me like I’d just pulled a rug out from under him.

“Since when?” he asked, and I shrugged as the door to the roof opened.

“Since always.” I darted a glance as Takuya held the door open for the girls.

“We can talk about it later,” I finished quietly, and Hiro nodded and dropped it as Saki sat down and asked loudly where Gabriel was.

#

“I cannot believe Iida beat me to it.” Saki said for the hundredth time. I darted a glance at Takuya. He had been very quiet all lunch and I wondered if it was due to the fact that Saki had not shut up about how she had planned to ask Gabriel out this week.

“I mean, he was _right here_ every day and she just waltzes in after meeting him once and _bam!_ ” Resting her chin on her hand, she looked sulky as Miya patted her on the back.

“Next time, Saki,” She consoled her friend, “I’m sure it won’t last long.”

That was an interesting observation, and I couldn’t help but ask her what she meant.

Miya blushed. “I don’t mean to gossip, but I overheard Iida-san’s friends talking in the bathroom yesterday.” Miya was shrinking under the intense look Saki was giving her, and her voice got quieter as she continued. “They were saying that she’s only interested in him because he’s half Japanese. Apparently she told them her plan is to marry a foreigner and get out of Japan.”

Saki looked devastated, but my laugh attracted her attention and turned it to puzzlement.

“Miya’s right. I don’t think you have to worry, Saki,” I told her firmly. “I know for a fact Gabriel isn’t looking to settle down, and he’s bound to see straight through her.”

That perked her up, and while I was happy that she had finally relaxed enough to stop talking constantly about Gabriel, my heart sank as I thought about Gabriel and his philosophy regarding relationships.

While it was true that Gabriel had told me he wasn’t interested in being my boyfriend, he had never actually mentioned his views on marriage. There was also the fact that he had said he didn’t date, and now here he was: going out with Iida.

My only consolation was at least he didn’t seem like he was intending to date Iida exclusively, but, as I was not prepared to share him with anyone else, this wasn’t very comforting.

I was grateful for the bell signalling the end of lunch and I headed back to class with a heavy heart. Gabriel was already seated when I returned to my desk and I caught his eye as I passed him.

“How was Iida’s homemade lunch?” I asked, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. He smirked as he leaned back on his chair dangerously.

“Would you be jealous if I told you it was amazing?” I averted my gaze as I took my seat. Gabriel leaned forward, his chair legs banging against the floor before he dragged his chair closer to me.

“I don’t really care,” I told him flatly, getting out my books for the next lesson.

“In that case, it was pretty awful. I pity whoever ends up stuck with her cooking.” I had to turn my face away to hide my pleased smile.

As the teacher arrived Gabriel scooted back behind his desk. My dark mood had lifted and I managed to even smile at Gabriel as the afternoon wore on.

By the last bell, both Miya and Gabriel’s words had put me in such a good mood that I had forgotten that he hadn’t actually broken up with Iida yet. Her appearance at our classroom door at the end of the lesson was a nasty surprise, but I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard Gabriel tell her that he had to go straight home today.

“But I wanted to show you that dress I was telling you about…” Iida pouted, and I pulled a face as I shoved my books into my bag.

“Sorry, Nana-chan. Next time.” He was leaning casually in the doorway, his hand above Iida’s shoulder as she leaned on the wall.

“I guess I can’t interfere with your studies, Mr. T Uni,” she was still pouting and I rolled my eyes as I breezed past them.

“Don’t be late, Gabriel. We’ve got a ton to go over,” I called back to him, and I felt my heart skip a beat when I heard him reply to her.

“You heard the man. See ya tomorrow!” I tensed as he threw an arm around my shoulder, but as he left it as a friendly gesture I didn’t shrug him off and we walked together until we reached the stairs.

By keeping the topic on school and study, we managed to make it home without falling into any awkward silences. We were finally alone again, but I found I couldn’t ask him the things I wanted to know. In the end I pushed my feelings down, choosing to focus on our study plans for today.

Gabriel had information from our prep school enrolment that he hadn’t had a chance to give me because of our fight, and we went up to my room to go over the schedule and work out what we should focus on at home this week.

“Have you thought any more about what your major will be?” I asked him.

Paperwork was strewn all over the table. My mother had found the ingredients we’d bought on the weekend and had added to them, bringing us up two decadent looking parfaits. I looked at Gabriel over a frosted glass as I picked out a strawberry to eat.

He shrugged, licking chocolate sauce from the long dessert spoon before scooping up another bite.

“Not really. I don’t really care what I study.”

“But what about a job afterwards?” I pressed. He just shrugged again. “Well, what do you like doing?”

I watched him as he raised the spoon to his lips again.

“Nothing I want to be paid for,” he said, and I looked away, embarrassed by the insinuation. But he’d reminded me of a thought I’d had before.

“Have you thought about performing arts?” I suggested, and I was surprised when he shook his head. “Seriously? I think you’d make a fantastic actor. Maybe instead of T Uni you should consider a school more suited to entertainment…” I trailed off as he shook his head at me.

“Nah, T Uni or bust.”

“But why?” I asked, curious about what could possibly interest Gabriel so much.

“Because I want to.”

“That doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to aim for the most exclusive university in Japan.” I chastised him, and he grinned in response.

“I saw it in a movie once. It looked cool. Decided I wanted to go there,” he shrugged, like this was how everybody decided their future. 

I shook my head at him. If that was the honest truth then – 

“You’re completely insane,” I told him seriously, and he continued to eat his parfait, unfazed.

#

Talking with Gabriel hadn’t helped me sort out my own career path, and I brought my laptop down to the table to browse T Uni’s site for inspiration. Law was out, as was Medicine. I couldn’t think of anything I was suited for and I was starting to despair when Gabriel moved to sit by me and look over my shoulder.

“Education?” he suggested, and I gave him a withering look.

“And spend the rest of my life in high school? I don’t think so.” I turned back to the screen as Gabriel leaned closer.

“Pharmacology?”

“Too scienc-y. I’m not really interested.”

“But you’d look so sexy in a lab coat.”

“That’s a terrible reason to pick a career, Gabriel.” He was so close, leaning over my shoulder as he read the screen.

“What about Letters?” I looked where he was pointing and clicked on the faculty. Letters appeared to encompass Language, Literature and History amongst others.

“Aren’t Japanese and History your best subjects?” Gabriel asked, and I slowly nodded my agreement as I scanned the faculty page. They were, but I’d never considered a career with it.

“I can see you now, wearing wire-rimmed glasses as you lecture bored undergraduates on the Manyoshu.”

“Oi,” I complained, bumping his shoulder with mine. He laughed and bumped me back before he reached over to settle his hand over mine on the trackpad, dragging the cursor up to click through to the next page.   

I had felt a hand ghosting up my back, and I sat perfectly still in case a reaction from me caused him to stop.

“It’s not like it even matters really. We’ll be there for years. If you don’t like it, just change.”

It amazed me how out-of-touch with reality he was. I knew he must have had a pretty privileged upbringing, given the entitled way he always acted, and he was certainly never short of money, but to suggest just swapping courses until you found one you liked…

“I’ll think about it,” I said, surprised that I truly did want to consider it. I wasn’t sold on the idea of teaching literature or history, but if I could read and research and write, that didn’t sound too bad. “What about you?” I asked, and I held my breath as Gabriel turned towards me again. His hand had been rubbing up and down my back soothingly, and now it drifted lower, settling a warm weight on my hip.

“I’ll apply to Letters with you.”

I was watching his lips as he spoke. I wondered if I kissed him now if he’d taste like chocolate or strawberries.

“I haven’t said I will yet,” I told him, and he shrugged.

“Then I’ll apply wherever you do. I don’t care.”

I shook my head and decided not to press it for now.

“Gabriel?”

His phone buzzed on the table, and I looked down at it as he waited for me to continue.

“Nevermind.” I gestured to his phone. “You should check that.”

I was both annoyed and relieved that the interruption had caused him to remove his hand. I had been intending to remind him that he was not supposed to be touching me, but the way I had rehearsed the scenario in my head had led to him proclaiming his undying love for me and his promise to break up with his stupid girlfriend immediately. Instead, I watched him read the message that was probably from Iida.

_Nana-chan._

I felt sick.

I pulled the prep school info closer while he was distracted. We were starting from next week, every weekday afternoon. I was secretly pleased that it would prevent Gabriel having free time to spend with Iida.

I tried to put both her and Gabriel out of my mind as I returned to studying. We had agreed to study until 7pm at least, but so far we had been pretty uncommitted. I was determined to focus for the last hour at least.

#

Dinner was a low-key affair. My mother had cooked for us again and we ate together downstairs. She asked how the studying was going and I lied almost as smoothly as Gabriel as I told her we were doing great. She seemed pleased, and as we were going to prep starting next week anyway, I didn’t feel too guilty about lying to her face.

Hikari had phoned earlier and my mother informed us she was coming for dinner on Friday and would stay the night. Gabriel was very noble and asked if she would like to sleep in her old room, but my mother told him that wasn’t necessary.

“She usually sleeps on a futon in here when she visits,” I explained, and I tried not to look at Gabriel as we discussed his current bedroom. My mother rose and starting collecting the plates, but Gabriel was quickly on his feet and offering to do the dishes.

“Thank you Gabriel,” she smiled kindly at him as he took the plates she had stacked.

“If you two would do the dishes that would be lovely.”

I helped Gabriel gather up the plates and followed him into the kitchen.

“You know, I think you might be the son my mother always wanted. She seems happier when you’re around,” I commented, and as Gabriel turned on the hot water I thought about the last two days. “I don’t think I’ve seen her drink since she got back,” I added in a lower voice as I stepped up to take the sponge.

“I doubt that’s got anything to do with me,” Gabriel said as he stepped aside. “I’m not known for being a sobering influence.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” I told him wryly as I handed him the first dish to dry. I was amazed when he took it and began to dry it. “But still, she likes you.” I frowned as I held out the next dish to him. “Pity Hikari’s already married, or she could have had you as a son-in-law.”

 I was joking, but the look on Gabriel’s face wiped the smile off mine. “It was a joke, Gabriel.”

 I gave up waiting for him to take the dripping plate and put it in the draining rack.

“You have a weird sense of humour,” was all he said in reply. We lapsed into silence as I continued to wash the dishes. Gabriel dried the dishes so slowly that by the time I finished washing them he was barely halfway through.

“Do you suck at all household chores?” I made a grab for the tea towel he held, but instead of pulling it from his fingers he gripped it tighter and yanked me closer to him.

“We could do something I’m good at instead,” he suggested with a smirk, and I shrank back as he boxed me against the counter, arms stretched out to block my escape.

“Let me go.”

“I’m not holding you here.”

“Move your arm then.”

“You move it: if you want to leave I won’t stop you.”

He was so close. I could be kissing him, if I just took a tiny step forward he would no doubt wrap his arms around me, pull me closer…

For a long moment we just stared at each other before I took a deep breath and closed my hand around his wrist. I lifted his arm and ducked under it, angling my body away from him as I reached back to grab a dish to dry.

“I’ll finish these. You can have a bath first if you want.” I refused to look at him. Eventually I heard him leave the kitchen and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wished Iida would hurry up and dump him before the last of my willpower left me.

#

After finishing in the kitchen I went back upstairs and was reading in my room by the time Gabriel finished in the bathroom. I had deliberately left my door open and I called to him as he passed by to hand him back his school books. I had cleared the table from our study session and I didn’t want to go in his room to leave his books there.

Or did I just want an opportunity to talk to him again?

His hands brushed against mine as he took the pile of books from me and I had to keep reminding myself that I was the responsible one.

“Don’t stay up late,” I cautioned him as I grabbed my pyjamas and pushed past him to go downstairs. I didn’t wait to hear his reply.

I didn’t linger in the bath tonight. I just wanted to hurry back to bed and fall asleep as quickly as possible. If tomorrow was going to be another day like today then I wanted to at least be well-rested for it. I stuck my head in the living room to tell my mother the bath was free. I had been right earlier; she was still drinking green tea instead of her usual secret screwdriver.

“Thank you, Jin.”

“Don’t stay up too late.” I told her, echoing my earlier advice to Gabriel.       

“I won’t.” She smiled at me. “I’m just going to finish this show.”

I felt like I should say something about prep school. To thank her for organising it or at least acknowledge it, but in the end all I managed was to say “night” as I retreated back up stairs.

As I approached my door I could see Gabriel’s light was still on. I shook my head; if he wanted to stay up all night that was his business. If I couldn’t wake him up in the morning then he would just miss school again.

I shut my own door and hit the lights, crawling into bed and cuddling one of my pillows as I rolled to face the wall. In the dark, with no one judging me, I could admit to myself that I missed Gabriel. I was so tired that, thankfully, I fell asleep quickly, and soon I was dreaming that I was holding Gabriel again and we slept wrapped up in each other’s arms.

 

 


	11. Wednesday: The worst happens

**Day Ten: the worst happens** (Wednesday)

I could feel a warm weight at my back and the heat from it radiated through me, filling me with a sense of security as I tightened my arms around my pillow. I had been dreaming that Gabriel had been hugging me as much as I hugged my pillow and I smiled lazily to myself as I stretched. My movement was hindered though and, feeling confused, I blinked in the predawn light. There was a tanned arm draped over me, and as I gradually woke I realised that Gabriel was under the covers. I could feel his chest rising and falling where he was pressed against my back.  

I felt a wave of panic wash over me as my brain repeated the facts: Gabriel and I shouldn’t be sleeping together. I had definitely gone to bed alone. I was still dressed, but Gabriel didn’t seem to be.

One of his legs was between mine and, as I tried to put some space between us by pulling my lower leg free, I felt his erection brush against me. I knew I had to do something.

“Gabriel.” I tried to keep still as I shook his arm, urging him to wake. “Gabriel, wake up.”

The arm holding me tightened as Gabriel closed the gap between us.

“Shh Jin, s’too early,” he mumbled into my neck, and to my shame I felt my own cock twitch as once again Gabriel pressed into me.  I tried to twist out of his grip as I renewed my efforts to pull free.  

“This isn’t funny, let me go!” I had been trying to keep my voice down but I was getting panicky now. I had abandoned my hugging pillow as I tried to escape and now I felt Gabriel’s hand sliding up my chest to hold me closer.

“Shhh,” he said as he tangled our legs together again. The feeling of his hard cock, where it was pressed between us, had arrested all of my attention. “Sleep,” he murmured, and I gave up struggling for the moment to try and think rationally about the situation.

He was clearly not awake enough to reason with. My efforts to pull free were met with resistance. So I needed a new plan of attack. I took a few deep breaths and deliberately relaxed, letting the tension fall from my limbs and noting how his grip loosened around me. His breathing was still slow and even and I waited until I was sure he had fallen back asleep.

I knew that if I moved slowly and carefully I could probably escape now, but if I was being honest with myself I really didn’t want to. Thinking about it rationally, Gabriel came in here of his own accord, so he was obviously happy to be here. While he was asleep and I was awake it was unlikely that anything could happen that I would have to feel guilty about so I reasoned with myself that it wouldn’t hurt to just lie here for a little while longer. My alarm hadn’t even gone off yet. Surely there was no harm in waiting for my alarm?

I tentatively reached up to touch the hand at my chest. At first I just stroked my fingers lightly over the back of his hand, but soon my fingers were wrapping around his hand, gently pulling it higher as I bent my head to kiss his knuckles.

God I had missed this. I wished for the hundredth time that things hadn’t become so complicated between us. I froze again as I felt Gabriel stir. I promised myself that if he was waking up I would move away, climb over him if I had to but I would get away somehow, but as I felt him press a kiss to my neck, my will power crumbled and my grip on his hand tightened as he continued to press kiss after kiss down my neck and along my shoulder.

I shut my eyes as Gabriel gently tugged his hand free from my grasp. The only sound was the rustling of the sheet as it was pushed down and he slid a hand up under my shirt.

“Gabriel,” I said breathlessly, and I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or dismayed when he answered.

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing here?”

He paused, warm palm held against my beating heart as he kissed my shoulder again.

“I like sleeping with you.”

“Well it’s morning, so you can go back to your own room now.”

I knew he could feel how my heart was pounding. His hand slipped lower again, grazing down my chest to my groin and palming my now fully grown erection over my pyjamas.

“I missed you,” he whispered, and I knew that I was in trouble now. I pushed back, rubbing myself against him as he slid his hand under my waistband. He gently stroked my erection, fingers winding around me before his warm hand travelled further down to cup my balls. I opened my legs for him, silently urging him on.

I held my breath as his fingers brushed lower to stroke me between the legs, and just as they grazed over my entrance my alarm rang shrilly from the bedside table.

Gabriel had retrieved his hand and rolled over to stop the alarm and I took the opportunity to sit up and climb off the end of the bed.

I stood awkwardly watching him as he placed my phone back on the table and lay back down. I was uncomfortably aware of how obvious my erection was. Even if he hadn’t just been fondling me my pyjamas were very clearly tented.

“Can you please leave,” I said pointedly, with a glance towards the door.  

“Nah, I’m comfy here,” he replied, clasping his hands behind his head as he watched me. I folded my arms as I faced him and reconsidered.

“Then I’m going to have a shower,” I announced, and I moved to gather my uniform.

“There are more fun ways to deal with you current issue.” I tried to ignore him as I folded my shirt over my arm. “Or are you planning on taking care of it in the shower?”

I rounded on him angrily but something in my face must have given me away because he was smirking at me.

“If that’s the case, you should just do it here. You’ll end up making more of a mess in the bathroom.” I threw my clothes over my desk chair and stalked closer.

“I told you to get out,” I said, determined to make him leave this time.

“Touch yourself, Jin.”

I stared down at him in disbelief. The sheet was pushed down to his waist and I was finding his nakedness incredibly distracting.

“What?”

“Touch yourself. Or I will.” He reached for me and I backed out of the way. He was sitting up now, and the thin sheet couldn’t disguise that he was as hard as I was. “You want me to, don’t you?”

I stood frozen in the middle of the room as he watched me.

“Do you want me to use my hands?”

“Stop,” I whispered, but Gabriel wasn’t listening. He had kicked the sheet away and before I could react he was in front of me.

“Or I could use my mouth.” My eyes darted to his lips as he licked them. My breath hitching in my throat caused him to chuckle as he gently pulled me back to the bed.

“No,” I told him firmly, shaking my head and pulling my hands free from his grasp. “I don’t want you to touch me,” I lied, screwing my eyes shut to avoid looking at him. 

“I won’t touch you then.”

He had taken a step back, and I was torn between feeling disappointment and relief before I felt him pull my pyjama bottoms to my ankles.  

“Kneel on the bed, Jin.” He commanded, and I found that I didn’t want to disobey. Stepping out of the fabric pooled at my feet I climbed back onto my bed. He was still behind me and out of my sight but I squeezed my eyes closed anyway. My shirt was lifted and I obediently raised my arms to let him pull it over my head.

I heard a rustle of fabric and then felt the bed move as he climbed up behind me. He leaned close but was careful not to brush against me as he whispered in my ear.

“Stroke yourself, Jin.” I felt a jolt run through me and my hand twitched before I raised it tentatively to touch my throbbing member. I flinched as my fingers brushed against the tip, but my movements became more confidant as I closed my hand around myself and gave an experimental pump.

“Good boy.” Gabriel breathed his praise and I stroked myself again, desperate to hear him praise me more. “That’s it,” he said, and I continued my slow pace, dragging my hand to the tip to spread my leaking precome, gasping softly as my hand began to glide more freely.

My left hand had been curled into a fist at my side, but without a conscious though I reached down to stroke my balls as I pumped.

“Well done.” His voice was washing over me and I shivered as I pleasured myself. Over the sounds I was making I could hear an echo, a slap of skin on skin, and I realised with a jolt that Gabriel must be stroking himself. I desperately wanted to see but when I opened my eyes I was disappointed that he seemed to be directly behind me. I didn’t know what he would do if I stopped and turned around. To be honest I wasn’t sure I could keep going if I could see him watching me.

If I leaned forward, would I be able to see him through my legs? Slowly I let my knees slide further apart. Closing my eyes again, I dropped down to my elbow, resting my head on the bed even as I continued to pull at myself.

“Yes, Jin. Perfect.”

I wasn’t even done yet. I sucked on my fingers, loading them with saliva before I reached back to stroke between my legs.

“ _Yes_ ,” I heard Gabriel gasp softy, and I risked a peek through my eyelashes.

Gabriel was on his knees behind me. I couldn’t see his face but I could see his hand wrapped firmly around his cock as he stroked at a pace that matched mine. As I rubbed my wet fingers against the soft, sensitive skin I saw his hand falter. For a moment I thought he would reach out for me, but at the last second he held back. Annoyed, I moved to press against my hole. I could feel the firm, puffy outline under my fingertip and I pressed against it, letting it swallow the tip of my finger.

“Fuck, Jin,” I heard Gabriel swear, and I increased my pace as I felt my orgasm begin to coil, the pull deep in my groin getting bigger as I pushed in as deep as I could.

For a moment I was lost as I felt the heat wrap around me. My insides felt soft and warm and I wiggled my finger back and forth to feel as much of it as I could. I felt a burst of pleasure and I cried out in surprise. I had found that spot. I curled my finger against it again and with my chest heaving I pumped myself quickly as my orgasm broke, hot spurts splashing against my front as I milked myself. I had just pulled my finger free, bracing myself on the bed when I heard Gabriel cry out. I jumped as I felt him come, hot jets hitting me between my legs and dripping down my thighs.

I had collapsed on my side as I watched him finally leave my room. Chest heaving and tears gathering behind my eyes, I screwed them shut to stop them falling. I was surprised when I felt a cool wet towel on me, and my eyes flew open again as I realised Gabriel had returned with the wet wipes.

At first I had let him start to wipe at the mess, but when he reached out to move me I slapped his hand away. Sitting up, I snatched the wet wipes from the bed and glared at him until he backed away.

“Leave.” The single word was harsh and the only sound in the heavy silence that had fallen. For a moment I thought he was going to argue with me, but then he shut his mouth, obviously thinking better of it and I watched him leave again, shutting the door behind him.

I clenched the packet in my fist, noting that I appeared to be shaking. Adrenaline, maybe? I took a few deep breaths to calm down before I finished cleaning up. 

I definitely shouldn’t have done that. Regardless of the fact that he technically hadn’t touched me, I felt that there was no way this didn’t fall under the category of “cheating” by anyone’s standards. Exactly how I was supposed to face Iida at school today I had no idea.

#

After Gabriel had returned to his room I pulled my pants back on and gathered up my uniform again. I was absolutely having a shower now. By the time I had washed and dressed I could see Gabriel waiting for me in the living room. He had made himself coffee and when I went into the kitchen I discovered that he had made one for me as well.

I returned to the living room with my coffee and took a seat on the opposite side of the table. I couldn’t look him in the eye but I told the table thank you for the coffee.

“Don’t mention it,” he said easily, and I focused on the morning TV news instead of thinking about anything else.

I felt uncomfortable and I quickly finished my drink.

“We should go soon, we’re running late.” My voice sounded normal but I was still having trouble meeting his gaze. I saw Gabriel nod and stand up as I fled to the kitchen to wash my empty cup.

The walk to the station was incredibly awkward, at least for me. Gabriel seemed unfazed, which was honestly starting to piss me off. I picked up speed to walk ahead of him, and I heard him chuckle behind me.

“What’s got you so worked up this morning, Jin?” he called, and I frowned and ignored him. Asshole Gabriel was clearly awake.

I continued to ignore him for the entire train ride, and it wasn’t until we approached the bakery that my internal argument finally ceased. I would admit that I was just as much to blame as he was. I should have left when he didn’t leave. Anyway, there was nothing I could do about it now, so I would just put it behind me and hope that I didn’t have to see Iida today.

We grabbed our breakfast to go; we really were running behind today, and we ate as we walked up the hill. Gabriel pulled his phone out of his pocket and from the corner of my eye I saw him read a message and smile. I wanted to ask him if it was from Iida, but I wasn’t prepared to hear the answer.

As we reached the top of the hill the school gate came into view and I heard an excited shout of “Gabriel!” Looking up, I spotted Iida making her way towards us and I immediately ducked my head.

“See you later,” I said quietly, and I abandoned him to avoid Iida as she breezed past me. I wasn’t quick enough to miss him cheerfully calling her “Nana-chan” again and I sped up to put as much distance between us as I could.

Hiro was alone at his desk again this morning and it occurred to me that Inoue might not be back yet. I felt a surge of guilt as I realised that Hiro probably hadn’t had anything to eat either yesterday morning or today and I berated myself for not getting him something at the bakery.

“Morning, Hiro.” I pulled up a chair at his desk and he smiled and greeted me.

“Hey, Jin.” His smile faltered for a second and I was quick to ask him about Inoue. “She’ll be back at school tomorrow, but I’ll see her when she gets back tonight.”

I felt my stomach twist. It was strange. I had been in love with Hiro for so long that even though I recognised my feelings had changed, I still felt an odd twinge of jealousy when he talked about Inoue.

“That’s good,” I managed to say, and I was saved from having to lie any further when the teacher walked in, Gabriel half a step in front of them.

I deliberately refused to think about anything not directly related to school and I was focusing so hard on the lesson that by the time I heard my phone buzz in my bag I had three messages on it.

I held my phone under the desk and quickly read through the messages, all from Gabriel.

            - Are you mad at me?

            - Are you ignoring me?

            - Jiiiiiiiiin~

I shook my head and glanced over at him. I could see he still had his phone out and he smirked as he quickly typed out a message. I glanced down at my phone as the new text came through.

            - Made ya look ^o~

I looked up at him again and shook my head, silently mouthing “you’re an idiot” before putting my phone away. It was significantly harder to concentrate for the rest of the lesson, but fortunately we were freed after only ten more minutes.

As soon as the teacher left Gabriel dragged his chair closer and rested his head on my desk.

“What are you doing?” I sighed. I wanted to push him off my desk but was also afraid of touching him.

“Catching up on sleep. Someone woke me up too early this morning.” I froze; I could feel my face heating up as I tried unsuccessfully not to remember the events of this morning.

“Hey Gabriel.” Hiro had come over to join us and he greeted Gabriel casually as he took a seat. “What’s up with you?” he turned to me and I tried to think of a reasonable excuse for my flaming red face.

“I know who Jin likes,” Gabriel said, raising his head and leaning his chin on his hand.

“He told you?” Hiro looked at him in surprise. He sounded a bit hurt.

“More like I guessed,” Gabriel conceded.

“Not that it matters,” I glared at him. “Because I don’t like anyone anymore.”

“Oh Jin, stop being so shy.” Gabriel was poking me in the cheek and I batted his hand away impatiently.

“If it doesn’t matter anymore can you tell me?” Hiro asked, and I felt a wave of annoyance.

“No! Now will you both just leave me alone?” I felt guilty as soon as the words were out. I had never spoken like that to Hiro before and I tried to apologise. “I’m sorry, Hiro. I just really don’t want to talk about it.”

He nodded, still looking a bit stunned as I turned to look at Gabriel next. He was watching me with one of his unreadable expressions and I was acutely aware of Hiro watching us.

“Sorry I snapped.” He smiled in answer, but it wasn’t a warm smile that reached his eyes. This was cold and closed and it made me wonder what he wanted from me if it wasn’t an apology.

“I guess that’s what I get for teasing you.”

Hiro thankfully changed the subject and we talked about the latest drama Hiro and Gabriel both seemed to be watching until our teacher arrived. I prayed that the rest of the day would just go quickly.

Lunch time finally rolled around and Iida turned up to steal Gabriel. I was horrified when he asked if she’d have lunch with us instead of going off alone with her. To my dismay she agreed, and we all headed up to the roof together.

I thought it would be awkward for me having her around, but it turned out to not be as bad as I thought. The girls mostly claimed her attention although I was secretly pleased that Saki seemed to be less than friendly towards her. As hopeless as my life was at the moment, at least I wasn’t the only one with unrequited feelings for Gabriel. Maybe Saki and I could start a support group.

I had been worried that Gabriel might bring up something to embarrass me again, but he had been surprisingly well behaved since my earlier outburst. I wasn’t happy that I had hurt Hiro’s feelings, but at least he had dropped it for now. I darted a look at Gabriel as he joked and laughed with my friends. If I was completely honest, I felt guilty about snapping at him too. It was true that his teasing was what had pushed me in the first place, but the more I thought about it the more obvious it became that he had effectively turned the conversation from a much more dangerous topic.

I risked a longer look at him and this time he caught my eye and smiled: a real smile this time. I couldn’t help but return it. Lunch went by peacefully enough until the very end when Iida insisted that Gabriel walk her back to her classroom. I watched them disappear with a sinking feeling, and I couldn’t help silently agreeing with her when Saki voiced that she didn’t like  very much.

We returned to our own classrooms slowly and I dragged my feet hoping to catch a glimpse of Gabriel on his way back. 

Waiting for Gabriel had been in vain, as he rushed in just before the teacher did. I would have to wait until a break to talk to him. I was worried that Iida would drag him out this afternoon and I really wanted to keep him away from her as much as possible. Ideally I wanted him to break up with her. I had realised that as much as I hated the idea of Gabriel cheating to do things with me, I was finding it impossible to leave him alone. Maybe it was only because I had done things with him that I had never done with anyone else, but the feelings I had for him were overwhelming. The love I had felt for Hiro paled in comparison.

As soon as the lesson ended I turned to Gabriel.

“Hey,” I called out to him and my words stuck in my throat as he looked over at me. I suddenly had no idea what I wanted to say. He tilted his head as he watched me silently, and I mentally cursed him for not making this any easier for me.  “Are you doing anything after school?” I asked lamely, and was rewarded with a smile.

“Why? Have something in mind?”

“Not really.” I suddenly found that I couldn’t ask him to ditch Iida to hang out with me. I felt needy and pathetic for wanting him to myself and I lapsed into silence, but when the next lesson started I mentally berated myself for not being more decisive.

By the last bell I was determined to say something, but even as I steeled myself, I saw Iida waiting for Gabriel at the door.

I looked over at him and he answered my silent question.

“Iida wants to see a movie.” The classroom was filled with the loud sounds of conversation and chairs scraping, and Gabriel leaned closer as he continued in a low voice.

“Unless you have a better offer?”

I slung my bag across my chest, fiddling with the strap nervously.

“I’m not playing this game with you, Gabriel.” I turned and left, forcing myself to smile brightly at Iida as I passed her. I resisted looking back for all of ten seconds, but my heart sank when I saw Iida and Gabriel following with their hands clasped between them.

I was prepared to hurry home and feel sorry for myself when I heard Hiro call me.

“Jin, hang on!”

I wheeled around and watched as Hiro jogged to catch up with me. I witnessed a look of annoyance flit across Gabriel’s face before his happy mask was back, but I ignored him as I turned to walk with Hiro.

“My cousin sent me the link to access old entrance exams, want to try one today?” he paused and shot me a look. “Oh, I forgot you’re not doing Economics anymore. It’s weird to think you don’t know your major.”

I shook my head.

“No, I’ve picked one now. Do you want to come over to mine?” A puzzled look creased his face for a moment, but then he grinned.

“Sounds great! I haven’t been over to your house in ages.”

I refused to turn around and clock Gabriel’s reaction, but I couldn’t help feeling smug as Hiro and I walked down the stairs. Gabriel might be going on a date but I got to spend time with Hiro, and I was pretty sure that I liked Hiro a hell of a lot more than Gabriel cared for Iida.

#

My afternoon was pure bliss. After taking the train home, we had used the computer in the downstairs study to print off last year’s exams for both Law and Letters. Hiro had been very excited when he saw the faculty heading and told me he thought it suited me perfectly.

We had raided the fridge for snacks and drinks before heading up to my room to read over the exams.

“Let’s just go through and answer what we know, that way we can work on the ones we have to skip.” Hiro suggested, and I was happy to agree. The official practice exams taking place later in the year would make us attend under strict exam conditions, but there was no need to stress ourselves out too much at this early stage.

I slouched against the bed, the end of my pen between my teeth as I read and re-read the first question. I started to write, and soon I was turning page after page, burning through the questions and feeling my confidence growing as the answers came to me easily.

After almost an hour of silently answering Hiro put down his pen and stretched.

“This is so hard!” He complained, and I smiled as I put my own pen down.

“Really? Mine’s kind of easy.”

Hiro frowned and pulled my test closer to read it. I saw his eyes widen as he scanned the page.

“Wow, Jin. It’s like you swallowed the textbook.”

I shrugged, feeling shy but pleased at his praise.

“I’ve always liked history,” I offered, almost like an excuse.

“I’m proud of you for making your own choice Jin.” I dropped my gaze as he slid my test back. “I’m serious. You seem different now. Happier.”

I nodded and agreed with him.

“I think Letters will be a much better fit for me.”

I heard the front door open and Gabriel called out that he was home. I glanced at the clock and noted the time; he must have skipped the movie if he was back this early. I wondered what had happened.

“Sounds like Gabriel’s back,” Hiro said, and he picked up his pen again as I nodded.

My bedroom door opened and Gabriel himself appeared, dropping his bag inside the door and launching himself onto my bed.

“Hey,” I acknowledged him, and I watched as he pulled a pillow towards him. He cushioned his head as he turned to look over at us. He was still wearing socks and his feet were hanging off the end of the bed.  

“I’m back,” He said in a flat voice.

“I can see that,” I said dryly. “How was the movie?”

Gabriel sighed heavily and I caught Hiro’s glance and rolled my eyes at him.

“Didn’t go. We missed the start because Iida couldn’t stop looking at shoes and I didn’t want to wait for the next session.”

I turned around and looked at him. Was he sulking?

“Didn’t Iida want to see that movie though?” I clicked my tongue at him as I added, “you’re not a very good boyfriend, Gabriel.”

“I know,” he sighed, rolling over and sitting up to see what we were doing. “Maybe Hiroki can give me some tips.”

Hiro laughed at that and insisted he was no great shakes either. I shifted over as Gabriel slid off the bed to sit next to me. Even though I moved he still settled himself so close our shoulders were touching.

“So what have you two been up to without me?” he asked, and I pushed my mostly completed test towards him. He had put himself between Hiro and I, and I found myself wondering if he had done that on purpose.

“Hmm,” Gabriel looked over it, flicking through the pages to read my answers. “Nice, Jin. I told you Letters was the way to go.” He had reached up to ruffled my hair and I beamed happily at his praise.

If he had left his hand on me any longer I would have pushed it away, but as it was, I was almost disappointed when he dropped it back to his lap before glancing over at Hiro.

“And how did yours go, Mr Lawyer?” he asked, eying the test in front of Hiro. Hiro sighed and smiled ruefully.

“Not quite as well as Jin I’m afraid, but I think I’ll get there.”

I had thought it would be awkward with all three of us sitting in my room together, but so far it had been fine. I was a little uncomfortable when Gabriel had so blatantly drawn my attention to the bed, but I felt like I might be getting used to dealing with him. At least, I thought so _before_ I felt a hand slide over my thigh under the table.  

“You haven’t finished yet,” Gabriel observed, drumming his fingers on the last page of my test, and I bit the inside of my cheek as his hand grazed over my cock. “Are you going to keep going?”

Hiro checked the time on his phone and shook his head.

“I think I’ll call it quits for today.” He started packing up his things and I took the opportunity to grab Gabriel’s hand and squeeze it as hard as I could, my fingernails biting into his skin as I twisted his wrist and held it away from me.

“Tell your cousin thanks for that, Hiro. I feel much more confident now.”

Hiro smiled and stood up, and I quickly let go of Gabriel’s hand, standing up and moving away from him before he could retaliate.

“I’ll walk you down,” I offered, and I saw Gabriel retrieve my test again as Hiro and I walked towards the door.

“See you tomorrow Gabriel!” He waved, and Gabriel returned his friendly gesture. I watched him as Hiro turned to leave and saw the smile fall from his face like it was a mask.

“I’ll be back up in a sec,” I told him, watching as he returned his gaze to my test.

“Bring snacks,” he said, and I sighed as I followed Hiro down the stairs.

“Thanks again, Hiro.”

“I should be thanking you, Jin.” He looked over at the stairs and a worried look crossed his face.

“Is Gabriel always like that?” he asked in a low voice, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I guess so,” I said evasively, wondering what he was referring to. “Why do you ask?”

Hiro turned back to look at me thoughtfully.

“I dunno. He seems like he’s always kidding around but…” he trailed off, seeming to choose his words with care. “He’s seems smart. Or maybe observant is a better word.”

 _And cunning, like a dangerous predator,_ I thought, but aloud all I said was, “Yeah, he definitely is.”

“Well, see you tomorrow.”

I watched Hiro walk down the front path and turn onto the street before I shut the door behind him. I wondered what had made Hiro reconsider Gabriel like that. I walked slowly to the kitchen and went through the fridge and pantry. I was grateful we had already finished the strawberries Hikari had brought. I looked for something innocuous, and eventually settled on rice crackers; there was nothing even remotely sexy about rice crackers. I tucked the bag under my arm and grabbed two bottles of iced tea before returning to my room.

I found Gabriel still slouched against the bed reading the last page of my test.

“Here,” I tossed the bag of crackers at him and he caught it easily.

Sitting down on the side closest to the door, I placed a bottle on the table for him before opening my own.

“So how was your date with Iida?” I asked, taking a swig and watching him as he opened the packet.

“Boring. How was your date with Hiro?”

I flushed as he handed me a rice cracker.

“It wasn’t a date. You know Hiro isn’t interested in me like that.”

He shrugged.

“Call it what you want. You were alone in your room with him though.”

I watched him eat and sighed when I realised he could play like this all day.

“We just concentrated on our tests. We didn’t even talk that much.”

Gabriel was watching me, leaning on the table and propping his head up with his arm.

“You’re such a catch. How on earth were you a virgin when I met you?”

I bristled at his teasing, but I knew he was just baiting me. He had reminded me of something though.

“I thought I told you to keep your hands to yourself.”

He looked up at me through lowered lashes.

“Are you going to boss me around now? Because I might like that.”

“Can you just be serious for one minute? Please.” I looked at him in exasperation.

“I am serious.” He lowered his arm flat on the table and I looked down at his wrist. I could see little indented crescents left by my fingernails when I’d grabbed him earlier. 

“You can stop me if you really want too.”

I stared at the marks guiltily.

“Sorry, did that hurt before?”

“Yes. Emotionally. You wound me, Jin.”

I watched him silently for a moment. I wished he would stop teasing me.  

“Why are you going out with Iida?”

He shrugged at my sudden question, climbing gracefully to his feet before getting back on my bed.  

“Why not?” came his muffled reply: he was face down in a pillow and seemed to have lost interest in the conversation. I shook my head.

“Forget it.”

I looked back at my books spread over the table before deciding I’d had enough.

“I’m going grocery shopping,” I announced, and Gabriel rolled over to look at me. “What do you feel like for dinner?” I asked, and to my surprise Gabriel sat up.

“I’ll come with you. We can decide on the way.”

#

Shopping with Gabriel had been surprising pleasant. He had not tried to grope me at any point and he wasn’t being fussy as I suggested we make curry. He even held the basket as I selected the ingredients. There was something endearingly domestic about choosing the perfect onion while he waited patiently holding the basket, and for one blissful hour I forgot that he normally liked to tease me to insanity.

We got home just as a sleek, black car pulled up across the street. From the corner of my eye I saw my mother climb out of the passenger side. I was grateful that the windows were tinted; I couldn’t have seen the driver even if I walked right up to them.

Gabriel held the groceries as I quickly unlocked the door, and we slipped inside before my mother had crossed the road. We headed straight for the kitchen and soon I heard the front door open again as my mother followed us in.

“Hi boys.” She started preparing tea as I returned her greeting and unpacked the groceries.

“I’m making curry for dinner, is that ok?” I asked, and she smiled as she set the tea canister on a tray.

“That sounds lovely, Jin. Would you like any help?”

“I’ll lend a hand, Ms Takezawa. You can relax if you like.” I rolled my eyes to myself as Gabriel turned on the charm. Honestly, I couldn’t believe that no one else saw through his act, but at least my mother left us in peace.

I pulled out a chopping board and a knife.

“Here you go, then.” I said, handing him an onion. “Dice this.”

Gabriel looked down at it, then back up at me.

“You know I only said that to be polite, right? I’m not helping you.”

I put the onion on the chopping board and bent down to get out the pot.

“Hurry up. The onion goes in first. After that you can peel the carrots.”

I watched from the corner of my eye as Gabriel picked up the knife and turned the onion this way and that on the board. I had to fight back the urge to giggle as he began to butcher it with the knife.

“Here,” I said, gently taking the knife to peel the onion and cut it in half.  

“Make a few shallow cuts this way,” I demonstrated as I explained.

“And then finely chop.”

I diced a few lines then held the knife out to Gabriel.

“Give it a go.”

He took the knife back and imitated how I had held the onion. I adjusted his fingers so they were curled under and he began to chop slowly.

“Perfect. Keep going.”

With Gabriel helping, we managed to get everything chopped and in the pot in a reasonable time.

I had put the rice on while Gabriel was messing around with the vegetables, then I stuck my head in the living room to ask my mother to keep an eye on everything so we could return to my room.

“I’ve never cooked before,” Gabriel told me in a voice that held a note of wonder. He had claimed my bed again, lying on his stomach and kicking his feet lazily in the air.

“Strictly speaking you still haven’t. All you did was chop vegetables.” I frowned as I added, “Badly.”

I was sitting on the floor using my bed as a backrest and I didn’t look up from my comic as he objected. 

“Hey! I stirred things!”

“Congratulations, Gabriel. You’re a Master Chef.” I couldn’t resist looking over at him and I watched him screw up his face as he sniffed his hands.

“I smell like onion now.”

“Yeah, well, it’ll taste nice,” I said disinterestedly, my attention returning to the comic in my hands.

“How come you can cook, anyway?” he asked, and I sighed heavily. Couldn’t he see it was reading?

“Necessity,” I said shortly. After a moment I added, “Believe it or not but my mother used to be around even less.”  

I frowned as I recalled that learning how to cook had kept me fed over the last few years. With absentee parents and Hikari away at uni I had ordered a fair bit of home delivery, but I had decided one day that I would learn to feed myself. I had been surprised when I had enjoyed it.

My thoughts were interrupted by Gabriel’s phone buzzing on the table. I looked down at the screen and I could see it was a text from Iida.

“Message from your girlfriend,” I told Gabriel, picking up his phone and holding it out towards him. He didn’t look up from where he lay on my bed as he replied.

“You read it. I can’t be fucked.”

I stared at him silently while I thought. I did want to read it, but I didn’t want Gabriel to think I did. After a fierce internal debate, I decided that as Gabriel had suggested it he was not likely to read too much into my actions.

“Whatever.” I swiped the message open and quickly read the text. “She wants to know if you can try for the movie again tomorrow afternoon.” I told him, and he looked over his shoulder and pulled a face.

“Ugh. Think of an excuse for me, Jin.” I tossed the phone towards him and it skittered over the mattress, bumping into the back of his hand.

“No way, I’m not getting involved with your love life.”

He rolled on to his back and pouted at me, phone ignored.

“Why not? I like it when you’re involved in my love life.”

I gave him my very sternest look.

“Why do you always have to play with people’s emotions?”

“What else is there to do?” He stretched his arms above his head and my eyes were drawn to the strip of tanned skin as his shirt rode up.

“I mean it,” I told him, dragging my eyes up from his exposed stomach as I made myself clear. “I don’t want anything to do with you. Date Iida if you want to, just leave me out of it.”

I heard a knock and jumped a mile when my mother opened the door.

“Dinner’s ready.”

“Thanks, we’ll be down in a second.”

I couldn’t tell from her expression if she’d overheard us talking. Climbing to my feet, I cast a glance over at Gabriel still reclining on my bed.

“Are you coming?”

He sat up, eyes dark and fixed on me as a wicked grin spread across his face.

“Not since this morning.”

I felt a wave of embarrassment colour my cheeks and I spun angrily towards the door.

“You can stay here if you aren’t going to be decent. I’m going downstairs.”

He finally slid off the bed and I slowed my steps as he overtook me. Pausing on the landing, he almost looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end he just shook his head and left me silently wondering yet again what the hell his deal was.

#

I was pleased with how the curry had turned out, not that curry was especially difficult to make. I always cheated and bought a packet mix, but it was still delicious and I couldn’t hide my pleasure that Gabriel obviously enjoyed it. My mother was going out again and disappeared to change while we ate in front of the TV.

“Home alone,” Gabriel sang under his breath, looking at me as we listened to my mother call out her goodbyes from the front door.

“I’m going to wash the dishes. You can have the first bath if you want.” I was ignoring him as I collected the empty plates, wanting to put some physical space between us before he did something that would break my resolve. I was grateful when he disappeared without a fuss. 

I was tidying up my books when he stopped by my room to let me know the bath was free. I stared at him wordlessly as he returned to his own room. He had not been wearing a shirt. As I gathered my pyjamas to head down for my own bath, I reflected on how very, very screwed I was.

I didn’t know what to think anymore. My own sense of right and wrong was telling me that what Gabriel was doing was definitely Not Right, but it was getting harder to resist his advances when my own heart wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anyone before.

I sat in the hot water, knees curled up to my chest as I tried desperately to ignore my growing erection. I hated the conflicting feelings Gabriel stirred up in me. Why couldn’t he just be normal, agree to be my boyfriend and not date anyone else? My fingers had closed over my cock before I had really thought about it. Closing my eyes I teased myself, fingertips pinching and rolling my foreskin as I debated whether I was going to do this.

The bath was warm and felt nice, especially as I wrapped my hand around myself to stroke firmly. But even as I gasped softly at the sensation, I knew it would feel even better if Gabriel was with me. I closed my eyes as I recalled how he had pleasured me in the bath, taking me into his mouth as he had gently and patiently prepared me. God I wished he was here!

My pace quickened as I continued to search my memories of our various encounters. I shifted around to kneel in the water, hunching down to keep my shoulders below the water level even as my knees slid further apart. I was fast coming undone and I slapped a hand over my mouth as the first moan slipped past my lips, echoing in the small tiled room.

The coil of my orgasm was drawing tighter in my abdomen, and without warning I felt it break. I shuddered as I spilled into the water and, drawing in a few shaky breaths, I quickly reached down to drain the water before I ended up with a sticky mess.

The euphoric feeling of my release was fading, and as I stood dripping in the bathroom I suddenly felt a wave of sick revulsion wash over me. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want my hands on me in secret, conjuring up images of the past.

I wanted Gabriel.

I dried and dressed quickly, retreating to my room and quickly falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**  
**


	12. Thursday: Things get damaged

**Day Eleven: Things get damaged** (Thursday)

 _How had this happened again_? I had woken up before my alarm and I was immediately aware that Gabriel had snuck into my bed during the night. But I was going to be smarter today. I knew I needed get up straight away, before he woke up and I ended up doing something I would regret later. I slowly eased out from under his arm, sliding off the end of the bed to avoid jostling him awake. With a heavy sigh I gathered my things and quickly changed next door in Gabriel’s empty room.

I was walking towards the door and fixing my tie when I heard Gabriel’s phone buzz next to his empty bed. I had turned almost on autopilot, and when I saw the text was from Iida I couldn’t help but open it.

            - Morning bae! Had an early night huh? I’ll meet you at the station, lets walk to school together <3

I quickly scrolled through the rest of the messages, four of them after the one I had read yesterday and a few more before it. Gabriel hadn’t replied to any of them.

I put his phone back down and walked back to my room. I didn’t want to risk waking him so I just peered from the doorway, but he seemed to still be sound asleep.

Why had Gabriel agreed to go out with Iida? He clearly didn’t care about her. So far in our brief acquaintance I had witnessed Gabriel do some bizarre things, but he always seemed to want to do them. I shook my head as I failed to come up with a reason. Maybe it had just been a whim.

I went downstairs and put the coffee on, picking at the leftover curry in the fridge while I waited. It was still quite early. I wondered if I could get Gabriel up and awake in time to stop and eat a real breakfast before school.

As soon as the though occurred to me I couldn’t get it out of my head, and so I carried both coffees up to my room with the intention of getting Gabriel up as soon as possible.

“Hey,” I called, setting the coffee down before sitting on the bed. “Gabriel. Coffee.”

He was exactly where I left him: on his side facing the wall, and so far he wasn’t stirring. I reached up somewhat hesitantly to rock his shoulder.

“Come on, wake up. I want to go out for breakfast this morning.”

He had made an indistinct sound and I took this as an encouraging sign.

“Coffee coffee coffee coffee _cof~fee_ ~” I sang loudly, rocking his shoulder back and forwards with every syllable. His answer was a long moan and I moved off the bed as he rolled towards me.

Blinking up at me with bleary eyes, I watched his nose scrunch up as he tried to bring me into focus.

“What’re you doin’?” he mumbled as I held the coffee out to him.  

“Get up. I want to eat real food today.”

His eyes drifted slowly from my face to the coffee cup and I waited as he struggled to sit up against the headboard. He didn’t seem capable of formulating a response, but he managed to take the mug from me.

“You’re really not a morning person, are you?” I commented as I retrieved my own coffee, moving to sit out of reach at the end of the bed.

We sipped our drinks in silence and I watched his face as he slowly woke up. About halfway through, judging by the angle he was tilting his cup, he looked over at me again.

“Hey,” he said, and I tried to hide the smile twitching at my lips.  

“Hey. Are you awake now?”

He reached up to run his fingers through his hair, and I watched as he dragged fingernails over his scalp, scruffing up his blond locks as he yawned. It looked like he was naked again. My eyes travelled down the smooth expanse of skin and I tried not to stare at the thin sheet bunched at his waist.

“Mostly.” He looked around, eyes falling on the clock and narrowing as he read the time.

“Yes, it’s early,” I told him as he shot me a dirty look. “We’re going to go out for breakfast. It’ll be nice, you’ll see.”

“It could be the best,” he said petulantly, “I’d still trade it for another hour of sleep.”

“Stop being such a drama queen and get dressed.” I had finished my coffee and I jumped off the bed, intending to go back downstairs.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?”

I stopped, only halfway across my room. I didn’t turn around, instead casting a look over my shoulder. I could see he was watching me, knees drawn up to his chest and chin resting on his folded arms as I hesitated. I chose my words carefully as I replied.

“You always do whatever you want, Gabriel. I don’t pretend to understand your reasons.” I forced myself to walk to the door, but hesitated again in the doorway. “Iida has been texting you. You should really reply to your girlfriend.”

I left quickly after that, and as I waited downstairs I fretted about what I had said to him. I did want to know why I kept waking up with him in my bed, but if the answer wasn’t, “I love you, date me” then I didn’t want to know. For now my plan was to just keep ignoring it and hoping for the best.

Gabriel appeared in record time, but he was in a pretty foul mood. I wasn’t fazed; I had noticed last weekend that the trendy siphon coffee café did an American style breakfast, and I thought that was probably the closest Gabriel would get to home for a while. Enduring his bitching for half an hour was worth it as I watched his face light up with joy on sighting real, crispy bacon.

“Jin, you’re a fucking legend,” Gabriel told me between mouthfuls. “We’re coming here every day.”

That sounded unrealistic, but I would at least admit that the bacon _was_ delicious. I smiled as he devoured his entire breakfast and half of mine. He had looked so happy when I slid a rasher onto his plate that I couldn’t help but give him my last one too.

The mood was light as we walked to the station, and I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face until we were standing shoulder to shoulder on the crowded train and Gabriel got another text. I watched him read the message and click the screen off, unzipping the front pocket and slipping his phone into my bag.

“Gabriel, what are you doing?” I asked as he zipped my bag closed again.

“Nothin’,” he said, and turned away to look out the window again. I didn’t press him for more. It was probably Iida again, and if he was still ignoring her then it was probably in my best interests to stop nagging him about it.  

We got out at the next stop and as we neared the exit I caught sight of Iida waiting for him.

“Gabriel!” she called, moving towards us with an expression that was half relief, half veiled anger. “I’ve been texting you, why haven’t you replied?”

Her tone was definitely edging towards pissed and I side-stepped out of her warpath. I looked at Gabriel then cast a glance down at my bag as Gabriel spread his hands wide.

“Sorry, Nana-chan. I think I’ve lost my phone.” I shook my head and kept walking past them as Iida gently chastised him. There was no way I wanted to get mixed up in their domestic dispute.

My plan was ruined as Gabriel quickly caught up to me. Looking back, I was surprised to clock Iida watching me with narrowed eyes before she fixed a smile on her face. I slowed down so we could all walk together, which was obviously what Gabriel wanted, but I moved so Gabriel was in the middle. I didn’t want to stand next to Iida when she looked like she might start breathing fire.

We ended up climbing the hill together and, to my extreme discomfort, every single topic Iida brought up Gabriel managed to include me in. By the time we got to the shoe lockers I was incredibly uncomfortable. I could feel Iida’s eyes on me and I wanted to get away as soon as I could.   

“I’ll see you later,” I told Gabriel, quickly exchanging my shoes and dashing away before I could be detained any longer. I breathed a sigh of relief once I was around the corner and out of sight.

When I got to our classroom Hiro was at his desk, but sitting where I normally sat was Inoue.

 _Hooray, she’s back_ , my brain said sarcastically, but I tried to smile as I waved to them. I wasn’t interested in making small talk though, and went to my own desk to put my books away. As I opened my bag to grab my books I remembered Gabriel’s phone and I couldn’t stop myself from checking it. I was both relieved and dismayed that he still hadn’t put a lock on it.

There were two more texts after the last one I had read this morning, and I smiled wryly as I saw Iida’s messages had become brusque and frustrated when Gabriel hadn’t responded to her. I glanced around, checking that no one was watching before sliding Gabriel’s phone into his desk and continuing to set up for the day. Whatever his reason had been for accepting Iida, it clearly wasn’t because he was interested in her. If he didn’t pick up his act she was definitely going to dump him sooner rather than later.

Gabriel walked in not long after, and I saw his gaze travel over Hiro and Inoue in the far corner then to me sitting alone at my desk. I pulled out my phone as he approached and collapsed in his seat.

“What’cha doing, lonely heart?” He asked as I quickly typed a text.

“Nothing.” I replied, hitting send and watching as Gabriel turned to look down at his buzzing desk. Puzzled, he retrieved his phone, quickly scanning my message.  

            - If you press the little arrow in the corner, you can reply to a text

I saw him type quickly and then felt my phone vibrate as his message came through. I rolled my eyes before reading his reply.

            - Thanks for the lesson Teach, but I know how it works

I put my phone back in my bag and shook my head at him.

“You’re an idiot.” He dragged his chair closer and rested his head on my desk.

“You’re pronouncing ‘genius’ wrong.” He yawned, cushioning his head on his arms as he closed his eyes.

“Why are you so tired?” I asked, sliding my chair back from my desk to avoid accidently touching him.

“Can’t sleep these days,” was his mumbled reply. I found myself wondering if that was why I had woken up with Gabriel two mornings in a row now. Could he not sleep on his own? Was something keeping him up at night?

My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher’s arrival and Gabriel reluctantly returned to his own desk as the lesson began. I tried not to look over at him and instead focused on the teacher. Gabriel was making it harder to concentrate on school than it had ever been before.

Finally the first break rolled around, and I was surprised when we were visited not only by Hiro but Inoue as well.  

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop her,” Hiro whispered, and I shot him a confused look as Inoue came closer.

“Why, what’s happening?” I asked, noting that Gabriel had dragged his chair over to my desk to listen.

“If you have plans today, cancel them!” She said brightly as I looked up at her in surprise. Hiro sighed and borrowed the vacated seat in front of my desk.

“Karaoke this afternoon. You’re both invited,” he explained, and as Inoue looked over and smiled at Ayase, I realised what she was up to.

“I don’t know if I can make it,” I started to excuse myself, but Inoue cut me off.

“You’re not getting out of this, Takezawa-kun!” she wagged a finger at me and I grit my teeth as I silently counted to ten. “Hiroki said you’re starting prep next week. You need to have fun while you still can!”

I couldn’t agree with her more, but I didn’t think Hiro would appreciate me telling his girlfriend that spending time with her was not my idea of fun. I looked over at Gabriel for support, but judging from the winning smile he was flashing, he was on board with the idea.

“I guess I’m in then.” I gave up, and Inoue grinned at us.

“Of course you are! I’m going to tell Rika.”

I watched Inoue make a beeline for Ayase, and Hiro made an apologetic face as he shrugged.

“If you just humour her, I’m sure she’ll give up after this.”

“It’s fine,” I told him, trying to hide my frustration as he rose and trailed after his stupid girlfriend.  

It had rattled me when Inoue had called Hiro by his first name. I guessed she was pretty serious about him after seeing the watch she had gifted him, but it was strange to think that they were really that close. I never would have picked them as compatible. I was lost in these thoughts when Gabriel slumped over my desk again, head resting against my forearm. I shook him off and pulled my arm away.

“I don’t want to waste the afternoon at karaoke,” I complained softly, and Gabriel sat up again to look at me.

“So don’t go then. No one’s got a gun to your head.” I sighed, looking over at him. I wished I could just blow off social obligations as easily as he did.  

“Must be nice to be you,” I sighed. He had folded his arms on my desk, leaning forward until he was only inches from me, eyes fixed on mine.

“It has its moments.”

He was so close I could see the narrow ring of colour around his wide-blown pupils, and I felt my breath catch in my throat as his eyes dropped to my lips. He leaned closer, and for a few heart-stopping seconds I thought that he was going to kiss me in the classroom in front of everyone.  

We were interrupted by our teacher’s arrival and I blushed furiously, heart racing as everyone returned to their seats. After that I managed to avoid talking to him alone. At the lunch bell Iida came to collect him as usual and I watched him leave for the cafeteria before I turned and headed for the lunch ladies by myself.

I was the first to the roof, and alone. Hiro was with Inoue again, and I imagined they were all sitting at the same table with Gabriel and Iida. Hiro had invited me too but if I was already spending the afternoon with them I didn’t want to waste my lunch hour on them too. I declined with a more acceptable excuse and scrolled through my phone while I waited for someone else to turn up.

I had opened Gabriel’s messages and without really thinking about it I sent him a text.

            - Anything exciting for lunch in the caf today?

I clicked my screen off and turned my attention to my own lunch, but before I had swallowed my first bite I had a reply.

            - Curry. Not as good as yours.

I read it and smiled; I was typing a reply when another message came through.

            - You nearly got me in trouble. “ _I thought you lost your phone”_ (>.<)#

Ha. Serves him right for lying in the first place. I stared at the words as it occurred to me that even though I only ever sent him mundane messages, he had always replied to me. I backspaced over my reply, clicked off the screen, and put my phone away. I was determined not to over think it as the door opened and Saki and Miya appeared.

I didn’t mention Inoue’s karaoke plans; if she had invited the girls then that was fine, but I wasn’t about to bring it up. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the afternoon mediating between Iida and Saki as they glared at each other over Gabriel.  

It wasn’t long before Takuya appeared, and after observing them closely for the remainder of lunch I was convinced that Takuya was hopelessly smitten with Saki, and Saki was equally oblivious.

He had always been comfortable around Saki, but perhaps the appearance of Gabriel and the change that had made to our group dynamic had made him more open about expressing himself. This week I had been noticing little things, like how he would buy her favourite drink for her, and how he would angle his body towards her when she spoke. I hoped Saki would catch on soon, because while I thought Takuya was a great guy, I did not want to have to be the one to tell Saki her usually sharp eyes had missed something.  

The rest of the day went by much too quickly for my liking. Karaoke was probably my least favourite afterschool activity, and being stuck in a tiny room with Inoue and Iida was my idea of hell.

As we gathered together to walk to the station I tried to put on a happy face, but Ayase was unconvinced and very persistent as she tried to get to the bottom of my hopelessly apparent bad mood. In the end I made up something about not getting enough sleep lately and she finally left it at that. Gabriel had tried to catch my eye as I made my excuse but I was steadfastly ignoring him and he eventually gave up.

To my great annoyance, Gabriel was just as good at karaoke as he had been the first time we went. We’d only been here ten minutes, and I was ready to leave already. Iida had insisted that Gabriel sing a duet with her, and my cheeks hurt from forcing myself to smile as I watched them. There were consolations though; Gabriel was stealing the show, and I felt a flicker of glee when Iida’s voice cracked on a high note.

I applauded with everyone else as they took their bows, but dropped my hands to my lap when he relinquished the mic and sat next to me, squeezing into the tiny space available in the corner and leaning against me.

“Make some room, Jin,” he said loudly, and I tried to shuffle over without crowding Ayase sitting on my right.

He laughed and shifted in his seat. I was uncomfortably aware of how his leg was pressed up against mine. 

“I have a song suggestion for you,” he said loudly, and he beckoned me closer. His arm was along the back of the sofa, and I foolishly leaned in as he turned towards me, cupping a hand to my ear to whisper, “you look so fucking hot right now.” And then he licked my ear.

I froze, hoping my shock wasn’t visible on my face. Gabriel had sat back again, but his leg was pressed up against mine, his arm still resting on the sofa behind me. I had to get out of here before someone noticed how he was affecting me, and I stood and excused myself, stepping around Ayase and fleeing into the hall. A quick glance up and down the carpeted hallway revealed the bathroom, and I gratefully escaped into it.

Leaning on the sink, I gripped the cool porcelain as I bowed my head. It wasn’t fair. I knew that I needed to be the one that policed our interactions to keep Gabriel respectable but when he was outright flirting with me it was just too hard.

I looked up from the sink as the door opened, groaning internally as I watched Gabriel in the mirror push the door closed and lean against the wood.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked him as he slowly turned the lock.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” I lied as he smirked at me, folding his arms and slouching against the door. His hips were angled towards me and I hated myself for noticing. “Do you even like Iida?” I asked, glaring at him through the mirror. I didn’t really want to hear the answer if it was yes, but I was almost sure it wouldn’t be.

“I’m just having fun. Have to find it somewhere while you’re holding out on me.”

I dropped my gaze back to the sink to avoid his eyes as I considered what that might mean. While I doubted Iida would have slept with him already, I couldn’t help but wonder what else he might have got up to with her. I had thought that holding Gabriel at arm’s length would put him in a position where he would have to analyse his feelings, eventually coming to the conclusion that he only wanted me, but apparently I had been wrong.

“And does Iida know you’re ‘just having fun’? _”_ I asked, trying to keep my voice even and emotionless as I gripped the edge of the sink so hard my knuckles turned white.

“I don’t care,” was his nonchalant reply, and I watched him through the mirror as he came stalking closer, my body tense as he stopped behind me. If I just leaned back a fraction I could be pressed against him. I deliberately leant forward on the sink. Engaging him in conversation had been a mistake. I needed to get rid of him fast before I did something I’d regret, and I decided that trying to piss him off might be the easiest way.

“Iida only likes you because you’re a half. Everyone knows she wants to attach herself to a foreigner so she can get out of Japan,” I told him flatly, and Gabriel’s laugh was cold. It didn’t seem like he cared.

“She can try. I’m not interested in a relationship.” I felt his fingertips brush the back of my neck. “You know that,” he whispered as he leant down to press a kiss to my shoulder. I shrugged my shoulder to avoid his touch.

“Don’t do that. You’re dating Iida and this is cheating.” I hated myself for how badly I wanted him to keep touching me.

He sighed heavily. “I thought we already talked about this. I never said I’d be her exclusive boyfriend.” Gabriel pulled my collar down with a finger and kissed the top of my spine. “Besides, we’ve already done more than this-“

I forced myself to turn around, putting out a hand to push him back.

“You should break up with her if you don’t intend to be faithful.” He reached up and brushed my hand aside easily, stepping forward to trap me between him and the sink. 

“Why do you care?” he leant forward to kiss me and I turned my face away. Without missing a beat he kissed and then licked my ear again, arms reaching around to pull me closer as I felt my body give in.

“I care because,” I closed my eyes as I leant into him. I hated myself for being so weak. “…I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to cheat on me.” I felt his lips twist into a smile as they kissed down my neck.

“You’d need a boyfriend before they can cheat on you.”

I sighed as I gave in, reaching up to drag my fingers through his hair.

“I’m well aware of that.” I didn’t want Gabriel to do this with Iida; I didn’t want him to do this with anyone else. My resistance had slowly melted away and I found myself pulling Gabriel back to my lips, kissing him soundly as he nudged my legs apart to step between them.

My hand slid towards the front of his pants and I palmed the bulge there, rocking my cupped hand over him until he moaned into my mouth. I felt it vibrate through my body and my cock twitched in response. I dropped my hand like I’d been burnt and pushed him away again.

“Stop!” I said urgently, and he looked at me with darkened eyes. “Break up with Iida.” I had said it without thinking, but it came out sounding like an order. My hands were pressed against his chest and he pushed against them.

“Make me.” He pushed closer and I let my hands slide up over his shoulders as he pressed me into the sink again. I kissed down his neck, pouring my heart and soul into each press of my lips but his hands remained motionless at his sides. I pulled myself closer to grind on him as I tugged his collar away from his neck. The mark I had made last week was all but gone now, just a faint tint of colour but it gave me an idea.

He twitched against me as I continued to nibble along his shoulder, but still he wouldn’t touch me. I felt a surge of anger as I pulled his shirt further away, and I bit down on his shoulder, harder than I originally intended and sucking furiously as I bucked my hips against him. He had reached up to grip my arms but didn’t push me away as I licked and blew against the abused flesh. I leaned back to admire my handiwork; a red angry splotch marred his perfect skin that would surely blossom into an impressive bruise later.

I gave a small cry of surprise as he roughly jerked me towards him, crashing his lips to mine in a brief tousle before shoving me away.

Slouched against the sink, I watched him unlock the door and leave without a backwards glance. I wondered what exactly had just happened. I splashed some water on my face and stared at myself in the mirror. I hardly recognised myself these days. Gabriel was changing me into a different person and I wasn’t sure I liked who I was becoming.

_Jealous._

I shoved the word back down. I didn’t want to feel jealous over Gabriel. I didn’t want to feel _anything_ for Gabriel. At least not so long as I was the only one feeling it.

I dried my face and hands and returned to the room. Slipping back in, I retook my seat and tried not to notice that Iida was practically sitting on Gabriel’s lap. I felt a surge of anger when he put his arm around her shoulders and I clenched my fists in my lap. I couldn’t leave yet, we’d only been here fifteen minutes. I counted backwards from ten slowly and relaxed my fingers. Less than an hour, I could handle that. And then I was high tailing it out of there, with or without Gabriel.

I spent the rest of the time ignoring Gabriel by listening to Ayase. Her initial nervousness around me had faded over the last week and it was obvious she was much more comfortable around me now. I felt a flicker of sympathy for her as she gazed up at me with adoring eyes. It sucked when you were the only one in love. I knew exactly how she felt.

To my relief she didn’t try to call me out to confess to me. I had been worried that was Inoue’s plan, especially given Hiro’s attitude towards today. But instead we spent the time trading song recommendations and it was surprisingly pleasant.

I had rejected Ayase when Hiro had suggested dating her, but I could at least recognise that she wasn’t a bad person. I mentally ranked her higher than Inoue, anyway. But that didn’t mean I was prepared to even pity-date her. My affections, whether I liked it or not, were very much tied up with a clueless heterosexual and a loveless asshole. Honestly, I was looking forward to the day when I would be able to fall in love with a nice boy who would return my feelings.  

When our time was up I announced that I was going home, fully expecting Gabriel to come with me. My surprise was evident on my face when he replied that he was going to walk Iida home, and I turned my back on him, saying goodbye to Hiro and Ayase before I left.

The train ride home by myself was torture as I imagined what Gabriel might be doing. I covered my face with my hands as I remembered our exchange in the bathroom. I had demanded he break up with Iida, and instead of laughing or dismissing me, he had issued a challenge.

 _“Make me”,_ he had said. What could I do to make him dump Iida? A shiver went down my spine as I thought about what else he had said to me.

_Just having fun._

_Find it somewhere else._

_You’re holding out on me_

Did that mean if I gave in to him he would break it off with Iida?

I turned this thought over and over as I made my way home. I almost locked the front door behind me before I realised that Gabriel would need to get back in the house. I felt my stomach drop as a chilling thought occurred to me. I _hoped_ he needed to get back in the house. I left it unlocked and I slowly bathed and got ready for bed with my ears straining for the sound of the front door.

Almost an hour later my prayers were answered when I heard him come home. I stuck my head out of the living room where I had been pretending to watch TV.

“Bath’s free,” I told him, finding that anything else I wanted to say had died on my lips at the sight of him. He looked over his shoulder at me impassively before nodding and heading upstairs. I ducked back into the living room to hide until I was sure he had come back downstairs to the bathroom.

 _Why am I like this?_ I thought angrily as I shut myself in my room. I hated him for how he was making me feel, because I knew that no matter what I did or how much I wanted it, Gabriel could never show me love the way I wanted him to. I flicked the lights off and crawled into bed, wishing for sleep to overtake me.

I had been lying in bed for hours when I heard the soft click of my door opening and closing again. Unable to sleep, I had been staring at the wall as I replayed everything that had gone wrong today. I closed my eyes, concentrating on breathing slowly and evenly as I felt the covers being pulled back.

Gabriel slid into bed with me, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my shoulder as he shifted closer.

“Good night, sweet Jin,” he murmured, nestling against my neck.

Did he know I was awake? He didn’t seem to expect a response from me. I lay perfectly still, and soon his breathing evened out and I felt the arm over me grow heavier as he dropped off.

I had waited until I was sure he was asleep before I let myself relax. His arm was a reassuring weight, and warmth was leeching into me everywhere his bare skin touched. I couldn’t help touching him, ghosting my hand up his arm before lifting it higher to roll over.

I settled my head on the pillow, eyes searching his sleeping face. He looked so different when he was asleep. All the cockiness was gone and he looked younger, more innocent. Careful not to wake him, I lightly skittered my fingertips across his chest, pressing my palm flat when he didn’t stir. I watched his chest rise and fall gently, his heart beat a steady rhythm under my hand.

I knew that I was probably pushing my luck, but now that I’d started I couldn’t stop touching him. I let my hand trace up over his collarbone and further until I could tangle my fingers in his soft hair. I paused when he shifted slightly, head angling into my touch, but when he settled again I continued to rake fingernails lightly over his scalp.

He hummed, a small sound of satisfaction and my gaze was immediately drawn to his mouth. A ghost of a smile was playing on his lips as I kept scratching gently.

“…feelsnice,” he murmured, and I shuddered as he gave another tiny moan. His eyes had opened slightly, just the barest reflection of light from beneath heavy eyelids. “Thought you were asleep.” His voice was soft, sleepy.   

“I am asleep. You’re dreaming,” I whispered as I closed my eyes and leaned in to rest my forehead against his. I could feel the arm slung low over my hip move as he smoothed his palm slowly up and down my back.

“I’m dreaming.” He repeated back to me, and I opened my eyes when his hand moved to my shoulder to gently roll me onto my back. “Dream Jin,” he murmured, our foreheads still pressed together.

“Yes, I’m Dream Jin,” I whispered back. I still had my hand in his hair and I slid it down to his nape, gently urging him down to my lips.

I was surprised when the first kiss he gave me was soft and chaste. He was half lying on me, most of his weight supported on one arm as the other reached to close over my hand, lifting it from him and drawing it to his lips as he moved back.

I watched in silent awe as he pressed a kiss to each knuckle before turning it over to press my palm against his lips.

“…Gabriel.” My voice almost cracked on his name. It was too hard to breathe. My heart hammered in my chest as he lowered my hand, watching me through half-lidded eyes.

“Say my name again,” he sighed, lacing his fingers through mine.

“Gabriel,” I said, voice significantly more steady this time, if a little breathless.

He had lifted our joined hands, pinning them to the pillow next to my head as he continued.

“Say you love me.”

“I l-love you.” I winced as my tongue tripped on the word, but Gabriel paid it little attention. He was kissing me again, still soft but now with an edge of hunger as I allowed him to part my lips. His kisses were slow, languid, his tongue licking and caressing as I melted under him. I could feel his thumb stroking my hand where he had pinned it to the bed and I squeezed my fingers tighter around him in response.

Reaching up with my free hand I cupped his jaw, fingertips pressing gently as I arched up into him. I had grown hard, my erection straining beneath the soft cotton of my pyjamas and I chased friction as I moved under Gabriel, moaning into his mouth as I felt him respond by grinding down on me, his own cock hard where it was pressing into my belly.

I could feel a wet spot forming as I bucked under Gabriel and, making a snap decision, I tugged my hand free, pushing Gabriel off me with a shove against his chest as I sat up. I looked over my shoulder, surprised to see that Gabriel had his eyes closed, hair fanned out on the pillow as he drew in deep breaths that matched mine.

I rolled onto my knees and pushed my pants lower to let my throbbing cock spring free. Quickly straddling Gabriel, I wrapped my hand around both of us, giving one slow pump as Gabriel’s eyes snapped open, a small “oh” of surprise falling from his parted lips.

I held his gaze, drinking in the look of pure shock as I raised my hand and licked my palm, loading it with saliva before reaching back down to tease his cock. I held us together again, starting a slow rhythm, my hand sliding leisurely up and down our lengths. He closed his eyes again when I reached down to cup my palm over us as we both began to leak.  

I increased the pace, my thighs squeezing around him and bucking gently into my hand as I encouraged Gabriel to move with me. He found my rhythm, hips bucking and delicious moans falling from his open mouth as I pumped us together.

I kept my eyes on his face as his breaths came fast and noisy. He was arching up into my touch as I began teasing the slit with my thumb, the balls of his hands pressed over his eyes and I drank in the sight of Gabriel falling apart in my hands.

I was short of breath myself; I knew if I kept this up I wasn’t going to last much longer, but I wanted to see Gabriel come first. I abandoned my own cock to concentrate more fully on him. The hand that had been teasing could be put to better use elsewhere, and I sucked on my fingers, sliding my knees further apart as I slipped my hand down between Gabriel’s legs.

“Gabriel.”  

He gasped as I rubbed a wet finger against his entrance, and his hands moved from his face, knuckles dragging up the headboard until he was gripping the top.

“Look at me,” I commanded, and I saw his eyelids flutter open, eyes searching for mine in the dark.

I felt a jolt of pleasure at the sight of him laid out beneath me. As he met my gaze I pushed in knuckle-deep and I felt his hips falter as he threw his head back with a bitten-off cry.

It was almost enough just to watch him as he writhed beneath me, bucking desperately into my hand as I began to thrust shallowly into him. He had been so compliant, so submissive throughout that the thought occurred that he would probably do anything I asked. If that was the case then I had a great idea.

“Say my name.” His head was still thrown back, but I could see the light reflecting in his eyes as he looked up at me.

“Jin.” He was panting, chest flushed and heaving as I concentrated on my steady movements.

“Say you love me.” I felt my heart squeeze tight in my chest as he complied.

“I love- ah!” I had curled my finger and his eyes squeezed shut, cutting himself off with a cry before he could continue, “Love you.”

“Come for me.”  I continued to curl my finger in him, pressing again and again on the bundle of nerves that was wrecking Gabriel.

I felt him shudder, walls quivering around my finger and I slid my hand up his cock to cup over him as he jerked his hips, come slicking my palm as he rode out his orgasm.

I hadn’t taken my eyes off his face, eyelids fluttering and mouth still open with the stuttered syllables of my name as I slid my finger free. I reached for my own neglected cock, slicking myself with my come-splattered hand. I shut my eyes and cupped my palm over myself, and with a few furious strokes I came as well, breathless and utterly satisfied.

I could feel Gabriel shifting under me. His knees rose, feet planted on the bed and I leaned back, resting my weigh on his thighs as I caught my breath.

Gabriel still hadn’t touched me again. He had let go of the headboard but his arms had fallen away from his body, careful not to brush against me accidentally.

I rose up on my knees, sparing a quick glance at my hands before shrugging and gripping the hem of my shirt. I pulled it over my head carefully, wiping as much of the come from my hands as I could and rolling the soiled shirt up before dropping it off the bed.

I had taken charge this time, and I felt it was my duty to continue as I carefully climbed off Gabriel, tucking myself back into my pants before ducking next door to find the wet wipes.

When I returned Gabriel was waiting for me, and he watched me silently as I pulled two wipes from the packet and began to gently clean him. I almost regretted not letting him come all over himself as I wiped him clean. There wasn’t much for me to do and I threw the balled-up wipes in the bin feeling disappointed that I didn’t get to wipe out his belly button, something I had been thinking about since the first time he had done it to me.

I turned my back to give myself a quick wipe clean before I went back out to the hall, washing my hands in the upstairs bathroom while carefully avoiding my reflection in the mirror over the sink.

What had started as a game, a joke that it wasn’t real but just a dream, had gotten seriously out of control. I was exhausted, and I didn’t want to talk about it now, but I knew that we were going to have to have a serious conversation. I made a vow to myself that at some point tomorrow Gabriel and I would have a talk about what we were doing. 

Gabriel was rolled over on his side, sheet drawn up and looking very passive when I returned. I crawled up from the end of the bed and slipped under the covers. Gabriel’s arm automatically reached out for me, and I relaxed as his warm hand settled over my hip. He pressed a kiss to the back of my head and soon his chest was once again rising and falling with the steady breaths of the blissfully unconscious. 

It was some time before I managed to follow him into a dreamless sleep.


	13. Friday: Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cultural Note: Australian students reported in a study that they didn’t expect to remain in touch with their host family, while Japanese host families expressed that they expected to cultivate a long-term relationship with their hosted student, even students that were only with them for a short stay of a few weeks or months.
> 
> Jin’s family, having agreed to host Gabriel for the entire school year, would most likely expect to welcome him into their family as a friend far into the future beyond his hosted stay. This doesn’t mean they would readily accept a romantic or physical relationship between Jin and Gabriel, just that they would think of him as another member of their family unless he seriously fucked up.

**Day 12: Reconciliation** (Friday)

Sleep had come to me eventually, although I had stared at the wall for hours, silently berating myself for not being a better person—for giving in when I should have resisted. My conscience told me that I should leave, but I reasoned with myself that what was already done was done, and leaving now was hardly going to make the betrayal any less. This wasn’t even the first time Gabriel had crawled into bed with me and, everything else aside, if I was perfectly honest with myself, I was happy he was here.

Not exactly reassured, I slept fitfully until my alarm woke me up, and I struggled upright to reach my phone.

The piercing alarm and my desperate attempts to silence it as I lunged over Gabriel hadn’t managed to wake him, and I slid back down to watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest. I knew I should get up soon, before he did wake up and I ended up doing something else to add to my list of regrets. With a heavy sigh, I slowly climbed out of bed and gathered my things to get ready. Early morning cold showers were becoming a habit of mine.

Despite Gabriel’s enthusiasm for real bacon I was not prepared to wake him early enough every day to appreciate it. Maybe we’d go again on the weekend when we had more time, but for today I just made our routine coffee and, against my better judgement, I carried both cups up to my room again.

“Oi. Coffee,” I told him brusquely, setting his down next to the bed before settling myself on my desk chair. Gabriel made an inarticulate moan and pulled the covers over his head in response. “Come on, Gabriel. I already let you sleep in.”  

He pulled the sheet down just enough to squint at me.

“Mornin’,” he yawned, rolling over to face me as I glared at him from across the room.

“Yes, good morning. Hurry up; we’re going to be late.” I bounced my foot impatiently, sipping at my coffee and frowning through the steam at him.

He grumbled a complaint, something that sounded like it could have been, “S’not _that_ late”, but he struggled upright to drink his coffee anyway.

I chose not to respond, and the silence stretched between us as we sipped our drinks. I had turned to look out the window as an alternative to watching Gabriel. I still felt guilty about last night, a voice was telling me I should have kicked him out immediately, and it was easier to block it out when I ignored Gabriel in favour of watching the scenery. I leaned heavily on the desk, propping my chin up as I felt my heavy eyelids closing.

“Why’re you so tired?”

I was startled by Gabriel’s question and I looked over at him guiltily. I didn’t want to admit I had been unable to sleep after last night, but by the lazy grin spreading over his features I thought he might have guessed already.

“No reason,” I lied, avoiding his gaze as he watched me get up and grab my empty cup.

“Well I slept great.” Gabriel announced, stretching luxuriously.  Amusement sparkled in his eyes when he looked at me again. “I had a fantastic dream.”

I could feel my pulse racing as a wave of embarrassment washed over me. I knew we had to talk, but suddenly when I was faced with the opportunity I didn’t feel ready for it.

“Hurry up and get ready, I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

I turned and left without a backwards glance.  

#

After rinsing out my cup I had stared into the fridge for the longest time, willing something to eat to appear. I hadn’t really eaten dinner last night. The leftover curry had disappeared; presumably my phantom mother had devoured it, and I’d only had soft drinks while at karaoke. I was starving. Although we had an impressive array of condiments, there didn’t appear to be anything to put them on, and I was about to close the door in disappointment when I spotted the beers on the bottom shelf.

I had reached for one on autopilot and cracked it open. Shutting the fridge, I raised the can to my nose and sniffed, feeling the bubbles fizz against my top lip as I inhaled the fresh aroma. I took an experimental sip, feeling the cool liquid flood my mouth before the warm sensation of alcohol burnt down my throat. Hadn’t I scolded Gabriel for this once before? That felt like a long time ago.

 _This is stupid_ , I thought, but I was feeling reckless. I was always the one who was well-behaved, who did the right thing, and I was sick of it. Just for once why couldn’t _I_ be the one everyone had to look out for? I was tired and strung out and feeling sorry for myself, and wasn’t this what people did when they were unhappy? Drinking was certainly what my mother did when she was unhappy.

I rested the cold can against my forehead and closed my eyes as I leaned heavily on the counter. I was so tired and the coolness was relaxing as I rolled it across my skin. I took a second, larger gulp, nearly gagging and having to wipe a dribble from my chin before I polished off the rest of the can quickly.

I didn’t feel any better and I binned the empty can before opening the fridge to grab a second. I had never been much for drinking; my first experience with alcohol I had gone way overboard, not really understanding the effect it would have, and the resulting mess had made me wary of it. Wanting to avoid waking up shivering and feeling like someone had stomped on my head had led me to be much more conservative after that and the occasional glass of champagne at social events would often last me the night. But I knew from my limited experience that a light buzz would make me feel good and I was in desperate need of some happy feelings, and chemically-induced seemed my only option today.

Three quarters of the way through my second can and I was starting to feel better. I wasn’t a huge fan of the taste but it was doing the job so I wasn’t complaining. My head felt different, kind of floaty. Maybe I did like drinking after all. Champagne usually made me feel dopey but this was a different kind of buzz and I greedily tipped the can up to drain the last of it. I jumped when I heard Gabriel come leaping down the stairs. He had got ready in record time.

“How come you’re so energetic this morning?” I asked, eying him suspiciously as he swept past me. I quietly hid my empty can on the counter behind me.

“No reason,” he replied airily, dumping his cup in the sink and brushing past me out into the hall. “Come on, I thought we were going to be late!” he called from the entrance, and I shook my head silently at him before retrieving my bag and following him to the front door. Something had clearly got him moving today, and whatever it was I guess I was grateful.

Despite his rush, I ended up walking faster than Gabriel as he spent most of his time with his eyes glued to his phone. I was feeling pleasantly buzzed from my stolen beers as we swept into the crowded station and made our way down to the platform.

Gabriel had his phone out the entire time and seemed to be texting back and forth with someone. I tried not to look but I couldn’t help glancing at the screen once we were packed onto the train. Gabriel noticed and tilted the screen away before I could make anything out. He was looking at me with a wicked grin.

“Jin, Nana wants to go somewhere on Sunday, where’s a good date spot in the city?”

I tightened my grip on the strap as I looked up at his stupidly grinning face. Why did he always have to be such an asshole?

“I don’t know Gabriel.” I said evenly, glaring up at him. “My virgin ass has never been on a date.” He leaned down, hand resting on top of my head as the swaying motion of the train caused me to rock towards him.  

“Now Jin, we both know your ass is no virgin,” he said in a low voice, patting me condescendingly on the head as I turned away, jaw clenched as I tried to ignore him. I had regretted my choice of words as soon as I said them. His crude speech must be rubbing off on me and with my inhibitions compromised I had the urge to let the vulgar expressions he often used pass my lips.

“Doesn’t change the fact that I can’t help you. Look it up on Google,” I told him petulantly, and he laughed out loud.

“Sweet Jin,” he said, voice still low as he bent towards me. “Jealousy really does look good on you.” I glared at him again and when he refused to back down I turned resolutely to face out the window. I knew I was being immature but if he couldn’t at least meet me halfway then I would just ignore him.

I had been expecting Iida to accost us at the station like she had yesterday, so I was surprised when we made it from the exit to the bakery without encountering her. Maybe running late had its advantages.

We grabbed our breakfast to go and wolfed it down on the walk up the hill. Eating was a good distraction because I was determined not to question Gabriel about the suspicious lack of Iida or the fact that he had barely looked up from his phone since we left the house, but frankly the urge to do so was overwhelming.  

By the time we got to our classroom my pleasant buzz was receding under a simmering anger for Gabriel and his lack of consideration for my feelings. I threw my bag down on my desk and glared at Inoue’s group when they jumped at the noise. I narrowed my eyes at them until they looked away.

 _Tch_. Just because I was normally quiet didn’t mean I never had to blow off steam. Did they think I was an emotionless robot? I sunk into my chair and hid my face under my arms, flinching when I heard Gabriel pull out his chair. 

“Hey Jin, something wrong?” Hiro had come over and I turned my face blindly towards his voice.

“No, I’m just tired,” I said crankily, opening my eyes to see his worried face hovering over me.

I saw his gaze flick over to Gabriel and I narrowed my eyes again as I saw Hiro nod and look back down at me. I wondered what Gabriel had told him.

He patted me on the shoulder sympathetically as the teacher walked in and I offered him a tired smile as I pushed myself to my feet to greet the teacher. Thank god this week was nearly over.

#

Drinking on an empty stomach when I was already weak to alcohol was turning out to be a Very Big Mistake. I had found it increasingly difficult to focus on the lesson and by the end of it I was struggling to keep my head up. All I wanted to do was put my head down and sleep.

My uncharacteristic behaviour didn’t go unnoticed and as the first break rolled around I watched Inoue duck over to Hiro, heads bent together as they spoke in low voices. I swung around to eyeball her group and it revealed a concerned Ayase looking over from behind her friends. A student bent over their desk and from the angle I was watching it looked like Ayase’s tiny head was attached to a giant body. Someone was giggling, and it took a second for me to realise that the sound was coming from me. 

“Let’s get out of here for a sec.” I looked up in surprise as Gabriel pulled me to my feet. I wanted to protest as he half-dragged me by the arm but once we reached the end of the hall he let me go. “Alright, spill. What’s up with you today?” he asked, and I glared at him, arms crossed and defensive.  

I didn’t want to have this conversation now. I could feel the words I wanted to say to him hovering on my tongue, and there was little resistance to me spilling them to him. A tiny voice in my head was telling me that I would regret it later, but the voice was already quite small and the rising indignation drowned it out as I opened my mouth to reply.  

“I think you know what’s wrong,” I told him, blinking up at him as his eyes searched mine. I continued when he didn’t reply. “You’ve been baiting me all week and I don’t appreciate it.”

“Lies and slander,” he retorted, arms folded across his chest as he gave me The Look. His sexy look. The one where he had the playful smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes that usually preceded things going either very well or very badly for me, depending on your perspective.

The tiny voice was saying something about pride or regret but neither of those things seemed more important than kissing Gabriel immediately.

I reached out for him with both hands, holding him still as I brought my lips crashing down on his. I was a little surprised that he responded immediately, his lips parted for me and I didn’t hesitate as I swept my tongue against him hungrily, rising up on my toes to meet him. I was disappointed when he pushed me away after a moment, holding me at arm’s length.

“Are you drunk?!” he asked incredulously, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Not _drunk_ ,” I countered, “tipsy, maybe.” The longer we stood the more unsteady I was beginning to feel, and I swayed on the spot, watching him shake his head at me. There was a slow smile spreading across his face.

“Yes you are.” He was grinning at me now, and I frowned as he continued to hold me at arm’s length. “Would you look at that: my sweet Jin, sloshed at school. You know, alcohol is never the answer.” 

“That depends on the question,” I told him, blinking up at him owlishly as he laughed at me. His hands on my shoulders felt warm and I relaxed, leaning into them and feeling him take my weight like it was nothing.   

“Jin!” I heard Hiro’s worried voice call me from the classroom door, and soon his hurried footsteps were rushing over.  “What’s wrong with you? You look terrible.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. Just what everyone wants to hear from their crush, current or otherwise. I felt a hand press against my forehead, but when my eyelids fluttered open it was Gabriel’s concerned face that swam into view.

“I think he’s got a temperature.” I heard him lie smoothly, just the right amount of concern edging into his voice as he turned me around to pull one arm over his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” I tried to tug my arm free but Gabriel had firmly grasped my wrist.

“Can you tell the teacher I’ve taken him to see the nurse?”

My eyes drifted closed again; it didn’t seem like a good idea to show up inebriated at the nurse’s office but I didn’t have a better plan.  

“I can take him.” I heard Hiro offer, and I felt a warm feeling bloom in my chest.  

“Yeah, Hiro can take me.” I tried to push Gabriel away but all I succeeded in doing was tripping over my feet and falling against his chest.

“Its fine, I’ve got him.” Gabriel had wrapped an arm around my waist and was leading me away. I couldn’t hear Hiro’s reply. My head suddenly felt very heavy and sleeping off my accidental drunkenness now seemed like a great idea.  

“Come on, Jin, one foot in front of the other.” Gabriel’s voice was breaking through the fog and I tried to comply, but each step felt like my foot was sinking too far into the floor and I stumbled into him again.

“I can walk, y’know,” I tried to tell him indignantly, but even as I said that I felt my knees weaken, my dead weight bowing Gabriel’s back as he supported me.  

“You sure about that? You don’t look very steady,” Gabriel countered gleefully as he scooped me up, two strong arms cradling me to his chest as he carried me up the stairs. My breath caught in my throat as I breathed in the warm spicy scent of Gabriel. I was in so much trouble. 

The nurse was absent when we arrived and Gabriel carried me to the bed on the far side, putting me down gently and sliding off my slippers as I felt myself go limp. A heavy blanket covered me and I couldn’t keep my eyes open as Gabriel brushed my hair back from my face.

“You’re a dumbass,” he whispered, and I forced my eyes open to glare at him.

“I don’t want to hear that from you.” I managed to shoot back, but my cross look melted when he smiled down at me.  

“I’ll stick around until the nurse gets back. Go to sleep.” He had pulled up a chair and I figured it was pointless arguing with him. Besides, I’d rather him telling the nurse one of his believable lies than me trying to convince her that I wasn’t _slightly_ intoxicated on school grounds.

“You shouldn’t talk to me,” I told him, eyes closing again as I settled back into the cool comfort of the bed.

“Why’s that?” he asked, amusement evident in his voice. I heard him pull his chair closer.

“I want to tell you a secret, but I don’t think I should.” My voice sounded like it was coming from someone else. I knew I needed to shut up but I felt powerless to stop.  

“That’s ok, there’s a code for these things.” Gabriel said soothingly. “Drunken confessions are taken to the grave.”

Oh. That sounded reassuring. I opened my eyes as I felt his hand smoothing back my hair again, but I kept my gaze trained on the ceiling for now.

“Sometimes I think about fucking you.” I felt a tiny thrill at revealing my secret and I turned my head to watch his reaction.

“Yeah? I think about stuff like that too.” He smiled easily, and I was gripped with the urge to wipe the smile from his face. He was supposed to be surprised. He must not have understood me.

“I mean I want to fuck you. Like you do to me.” I watched a look of dawning comprehension spread over his face, and my thrill turned into a warm feeling of satisfaction.

“Jesus, Jin. You sexy asshole.” He was gripping the sheet by my hand and I flexed my fingers to brush them over his knuckles. He leaned close, brushing his lips over mine quickly before pulling back. “Shut up and go to sleep. I need this boner to fuck off before the nurse gets here.”

I felt a laugh bubble up and escape as my eyelids slipped closed again. Gabriel’s reaction had been priceless. My consciousness faded and I was dimly aware of Gabriel’s fingers trailing through my hair before everything went dark.

#

 _Waking up in the nurse’s office is always disconcerting_ , I reflected as I turned my head to avoid the harsh overhead light. I wondered how long I had been asleep, and as I struggled upright I caught sight of the nurse.

“How’re you feeling, sweetie?” She asked, giving me a quick once-over as I swung my legs off the bed.

“Much better,” I replied vaguely. I had no idea what Gabriel had told her and I didn’t want to blow my cover by revealing my ignorance.

“Good. Make sure you eat and sleep properly in the future. There’s no point studying so hard that your body can’t keep up.” She smiled kindly as I pulled my slippers back on and grabbed my bag that had mysteriously appeared next to the bed.

“Thanks, Miss. I’ll try.” The clock on the wall told me the bell was about to ring for lunch, and as I stepped into the hall I heard the sound of hundreds of chairs scraping as students poured out of their classrooms.

I had a headache, probably from dehydration, and I made my way to the vending machine along the hall to find something with electrolytes in it before grabbing something from the lunch ladies. I assumed I would find my group on the roof and headed in that direction.

I stopped abruptly when I heard a girl laugh, followed by the murmur of low voices coming from the top of the stairs. I didn’t want to walk in on what sounded like a couple having a moment by the roof access. I had already turned around when I recognised Iida’s voice. I froze, glancing over my shoulder up the stairs. They were out of my line of sight but if that was Iida then Gabriel must be there too. I turned back around and quietly climbed the stairs, tucking my lunch into my bag in case I had to make a quick escape.

As I came around the landing I could hear both of them clearly as they came into view. Gabriel was leaning against the wall, his arm draped casually around Iida’s waist. I met Gabriel’s eyes over her shoulder and he pulled her closer. I glared at him as she fell against him, reaching up to steady herself by bracing her hands on his shoulders.  

“Ow,” Gabriel hissed. He had flinched and Iida sprang away in surprise, all concerned for her boyfriend as Gabriel let go of her to reach up and rub his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” I heard her ask worriedly.

“It’s nothing, just a bruise.” Gabriel rolled his shoulder, giving an Oscar-worthy performance as his face reflected that he was in pain. He watched me over her shoulder and caught my eye again before I deliberately looked away. My feet were frozen halfway up the stairs but thankfully Iida hadn’t noticed me yet.

“A bruise? Let me see,” Gabriel let her tug his hand away from his shoulder and she pulled back his shirt to reveal the hickey I had left there last night.

Suddenly it had got very quiet.

“What the hell is this?” I heard her ask in a calm, measured tone.

“What does it look like?” he shot back, and I wavered on the spot. I did not want to get caught in the middle of this but I also desperately needed to see what was happening.

“It looks new.” She narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him. “Is this why you won’t kiss me? You have someone else?” she pushed him roughly as she took a step backwards. “Do you even want to go out with me?” she asked angrily as Gabriel slouched against the wall, not bothering to fix his shirt.

“Not really.” His voice was flat and disinterested, and I took a tentative step back down the stairs. I needed to quietly retreat before Iida turned around and spotted me.

“…fine,” she said softly as she spun around. It was too late. Her eyes went wide when she saw me hovering.

“Something wrong?” I asked her hesitantly, expecting her to rip my head off. I was surprised to see tears shining in her eyes.

“Ask your friend,” she said darkly, fleeing down the steps as my eyes rose once more to Gabriel. He was still slouched against the wall, and my eyes were drawn to the mark peeking out from under his shirt. I slowly resumed walking up the stairs and Gabriel’s eyes followed me as I came to stand in front of him.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, sighing as I pulled his collar closed and fixed his tie, lightly palming over the bruise as I smoothed his shirt.

“Because you wanted me to break up with her,” he replied, sliding his arms around my waist. As soon as I had reached out to touch him, his petulant mood had melted away. He smiled down at me like he was pleased with himself. I felt a flash of annoyance that I seemed to be doing exactly what he wanted.

I wanted to push his arms away, to step out of his embrace and tell him he couldn’t treat people like that, but the warm weight of him holding me was too much for me to resist.

“Sobered up then?” He asked and I ignored his question as I stepped closer, my body moulding against his. I rested against his shoulder as he traced patterns on my back.

“You smell like her.” I wrinkled my nose and turned my face away. Gabriel just laughed and offered to remove his shirt. “How about we just eat lunch?” I suggested, pulling away from him and opening the door to the roof.

Gabriel had followed me out, complaining that he didn’t have anything to eat. I sat down in our usual spot and offered to share my lunch with him.

“You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep pulling stunts like that,” I told him mildly, and he quirked an eyebrow at me as I handed him half of my yakisoba bun.

“Why Jin, that almost sounds like a threat.” I took in his faux-innocent look and rolled my eyes.

“Whatever, idiot.” I ate slowly, my mind busy processing the earlier events.

I thought I knew what I wanted from Gabriel. If I was being completely honest with myself, I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I definitely didn’t want him screwing around with anyone else.

I looked over at him as he ate. Why did he have to be so difficult? I couldn’t help the niggling thought that Gabriel had been using Iida to make me jealous. It seemed a bit egotistical of me to assume, but no other theory for his behaviour this week was making sense to me.

I couldn’t just ask him. I wanted to go back to our original arrangement, but I needed to clarify with him that I didn’t want him dating anyone else. I supposed even the original arrangement was no guarantee that he wouldn’t get tired of me and leave either. What I really wanted was some kind of affirmation that I was special to him. But _was_ I special to him?

I looked down at my lunch, sighing as I took another bite.

Back to square one.

I saw Gabriel snag my half-drunk bottle and take a swig of the clear liquid.

“Bleh, gross,” he announced, sticking out his tongue before raising the bottle to read the label. “Why’re you drinking this shit? Where’s the coffee?”

I shook my head at him, downing the last of my lunch and standing up.

“Come on, let’s go down to the vending machine.”

He squinted up at me.

“You go. Iida hangs out there.”

Oh.

“Ok.”

I walked quickly back down to the vending machine and averted my gaze from the girls sitting across the hall as I pulled my wallet out.

“Isn’t that Gabriel’s?” I turned to see Iida eyeing me suspiciously. I looked down at my wallet then back up to her.

“No, it’s mine,” I said, flipping it open as I grabbed a note to feed into the machine.

“It looks the same as his,” she replied. I quickly hit the button for Gabriel’s black coffee.

“We got matching ones last week,” I told her, stooping to retrieve the can. I pocketed the change instead of fumbling with my wallet again. I wanted to get away from her as soon as possible. I felt her eyes following me as I returned down the hall. I didn’t know why I had done that. I could have said anything else and instead I chose to try and bait her. It was stupid of me. I didn’t really want to encourage rumours, and I certainly didn’t want her thinking I had tried to break them up.

_Or do I?_

I took the stairs two at a time and heard the sound of Saki and Miya stepping out and greeting Gabriel above me. The door hadn’t swung closed yet and I followed the girls out onto the roof.

Gabriel looked up as I approached and beamed at me when I tossed him the can.

“ _Jin,_ I _love_ you.” He announced dramatically, and the girls giggled as we sat down and I retrieved my own opened drink.

As I sipped my sports water I tried not to think about how red Iida’s eyes had been when I’d seen her downstairs. I had watched Gabriel callously toss her aside and my eyes rose to watch him as he chatted animatedly with the girls.

 _He should really come with a warning label_ , I thought as he looked up and caught me staring, his face lighting up with a mischievous grin. I sighed into my drink; I had handed my heart to a demon. And it looked like he was enjoying every minute as he slowly ripped it to shreds.

#

Saki had barely been able to contain her excitement as she asked why Gabriel wasn’t having lunch with Iida today.  He told her that they had split up, and the sparkle in her eyes was enough to confirm that she was definitely going to ask him out soon, before anyone else could. I resolved not to leave her alone with Gabriel until I could make him a better offer.

I couldn’t believe my ears when she didn’t bother to wait to ask him alone. Minutes after hearing the news, Saki brazenly asked Gabriel if he’d go out with her. Miya squealed, slapping her hands over her mouth as she blushed from second-hand embarrassment. I focused all my effort on breathing normally even though my heart was in my throat.

I risked a glance at Gabriel and I was surprised to see his eyes flick to me. I shook my head almost imperceptibly, but my mind was screaming “ _No!_ ” at full volume.

He turned to Saki and I held my breath as he opened his mouth to reply.

“Sorry, but I kinda already have something.”

The uproar this created was enormous, and I winced as I did a mental face-palm. Why couldn’t he have just said no like a normal person?

“Already? Even though you just broke up?” Saki asked, more curious than offended. Gabriel looked almost sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, it’s a bit embarrassing, but that’s why we broke up.”

Miya looked positively scandalised. “You weren’t cheating on her!” the innocent act continued as he held his hands up in defence.

“Would I do that?” To his credit it was a convincing performance; he looked genuinely offended at the suggestion. He turned to me imploringly. “Help me out here, Jin!”

I choked on the mouthful of water I had just started to swallow.

“Oh no, leave me out of this.” I waved the bottle at them, wiping my mouth and frowning as Gabriel pouted at me.

Saki leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she regarded him. “So who’s the lucky girl then?”

Gabriel winked at her, all his feigned meekness gone. “Secret,” he told her before tilting the can back and draining the last of his coffee.

The girls complained that wasn’t fair, Saki quite a bit more loudly than Miya, and I tried not to look at Gabriel as I sipped my drink.

 _What just happened_? I desperately wanted to be alone with Gabriel to ask him what he was up to now, but the girls didn’t look like they were going anywhere. I endured the rest of lunch, trying to participate in the conversation to avoid seeming suspiciously quiet. Saki kept pestering Gabriel about his secret girlfriend and he let her guess half the school, laughing as she became more and more resolute to find out.

Finally the bell rang and we picked ourselves up to return to our classrooms.

“Come on, Saki. You know we have P.E. now,” Miya grumbled, pulling Saki by the arm as she forced her to follow her down the stairs.

“Kobayashi?” Saki called up hopefully, and Gabriel laughed as he leaned on the railing.

“No.”

“Saki, if we’re late again Coach will make us run laps.”

“Tanaka?”

“Nope.”

They were almost completely out of sight now.

“Ueda!” Saki shouted from the floor below and Gabriel bent over the railing to call back.

“Nope, you’re way off!”

Saki must have lunged back to the stairs because I heard Miya’s frustrated voice calling back, “Twenty laps, Saki! It’s not worth it,” as she shouted up the stairs.

“Just tell me!”

I had hung back, closing the door behind us slowly as Gabriel cupped his hand to his mouth to shout back.

“Keep guessing!”

There were no more shouts and I assumed Miya had finally succeeded in dragging Saki away.

“You shouldn’t antagonise her; it’ll only make her more determined to find out,” I warned him and he glanced over his shoulder at me.

“Maybe I want her to find out.” He was looking at me through lowered eyelashes and it was making my knees feel weak. Leaning back against the door I stared at my feet as he turned to come closer.

“Don’t,” I said softly as he reached out to tilt my chin up.

“Don’t what?” he asked. He was so close and I automatically reached out to grab fistfuls of his shirt.

“Don’t tease me.”

“But I love the flustered face you make.” He brushed my hair from my eyes before leaning down to softly capture my lips. I let him push me against the wall as he ran his fingers through my hair. Even though I knew it meant something different when he said it my heart still pounded every time he said that word. “We could ditch,” he murmured against my lips, and I seriously wanted to do nothing else.

“No, we need to go to class,” I told him breathlessly before he pulled me closer.

“Why are you so sensible?” he moaned, tilting my head back to kiss down my neck as I slid my arms around his neck.

“I’m not _that_ sensible. I’m kissing you, aren’t I?”

He chuckled and nipped at my ear.

“I like sassy Jin.”

“Come on,” I drew back, smoothing out his shirt as best I could and straightening his tie. “We’re already late.”

#

We made it to class just behind the teacher and unfortunately they seemed to take it as a personal affront. I was picked on all lesson to give answers, but luckily it was one of my better subjects and I ended up showing off.

I was flocked with concerned visitors during the break. Hiro I had expected; buzzing around worriedly and asking me a million times why I hadn’t told him I was working so hard. Even Ayase came over to ask me if I was feeling better now and to offer me a copy of her notes she had made for me over lunch. I thanked her, feeling flustered as I realised she had handed me several hand-written pages.

I hated all the attention, and I couldn’t wait for the end of the day. As the last lesson began I risked a glance over at Gabriel. I had no idea what to expect from him in the future, but now that he was a free man again I was feeling excited to find out.

#

 _Finally free,_ I thought to myself as the teacher raised their voice to be heard over the scraping of chairs and conversation that exploded at the final bell. I was quickly stuffing my books into my bag when Hiro appeared at my desk.

“Jin, can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked, and I looked up in surprise.

“Of course, what about?” I asked, standing up and slinging my bag over my shoulder.

“Privately,” Hiro added, and I followed his gaze to Gabriel.

“Ok,” I agreed, shrugging at the look Gabriel was giving me before following Hiro out into the hall. I caught up to him and we walked in silence down to the shoe lockers. I wondered just how private this talk had to be if we needed to go outside for it, but I silently changed my shoes and followed him anyway.

We ended up in the courtyard where just last week Hiro had unintentionally encouraged me to confess my feelings for him. I squirmed uncomfortably as we took a seat on the same bench.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Hiro asked in a gentle voice, and I looked at him in surprise. “What really happened this morning, Jin?” Hiro pressed when I didn’t reply, and my mind raced to try and fit together the blurry puzzle of my memories from this morning.  

I couldn’t remember exactly what had transpired but unfortunately I did recall that at some point I had thrown myself at Gabriel.

“What do you mean?” I was going in for damage control. Until I knew what exactly he thought he’d seen I was just going to stick to the made up story. “I was just exhausted, you know how it-“

“No, I heard you and Gabriel in the hall.” He cut me off, almost sternly.

I froze: what had he heard _exactly_?

“He said you’d been drinking.”

Oh.

_Oh._

The look Hiro was giving me was pure concern. I felt a wave of affection for my best friend as he faced me.

“You’ve been a bit distant lately and I’m worried about you,” he told me, and I couldn’t meet his sincere gaze. “If something’s bothering you, you know you can tell me, right?” he continued, and I nodded, hands balled into fists in my lap.

“I know.” I swallowed and forced myself to look up at him. “I know,” I said again, more firmly this time. “I’m fine, really. I wasn’t _drunk_ drunk, I just drank some beer on an empty stomach. It didn’t agree with me,” I finished wryly.

Hiro was frowning at me like he didn’t think I was taking this seriously enough.

“But I don’t understand why?” Hiro had twisted on the seat to face me more fully, hands on the bench as he leaned closer. “That’s not like you at all,” he said earnestly, and I felt terribly guilty for how much I was enjoying him make a fuss over me.

“I’m fine,” I repeated. “ _Seriously_.” I stressed as he continued to watch me carefully. “I just made one stupid mistake, and believe me: I won’t be doing it again.”

Hiro looked a little relieved and I smiled reassuringly at him.

“I’m allowed to mess up occasionally. I’m not perfect.”

“I don’t know,” he smiled kindly, face finally looking worry-free. “You usually come pretty close.” I couldn’t help the grin spreading across my face and it wasn’t until I heard him speak that I realised Gabriel had followed us out.

“Jesus, just kiss already.”

My cheeks flushed as I rounded on him angrily, but seeing him standing with his arms crossed, a bored look on his face and rolling his eyes I couldn’t help but laugh.  

“Excuse me, but this is a _private_ conversation,” I told him with faux haughtiness, but Gabriel just grinned and sat down on the bench between us, Hiro was forced to slide over to make room for him.

“There’s no secrets between friends,” he said, throwing an arm around each of our shoulders and dragging us closer. “Don’t you worry; I’m keeping an eye on Jin,” he told Hiro, and I looked between their faces as they eyed each other.

“Maybe try not to let him drink first thing in the morning,” Hiro told him dryly as he shrugged Gabriel’s arm off to stand up. We both looked up at him as he thrust his hands into his pockets. “I’ve gotta go.” He looked over his shoulder before turning back to me. “Take care, ok? See ya.”

I watched Hiro go until he was out of sight, keenly aware of Gabriel’s arm still draped over my shoulder.

“Isn’t that sweet? He’s _worried_ about you,” Gabriel cooed, and I whacked him in the stomach with the back of my hand.

“At least someone is.” I shot back, but there was no heat in my words. It was nice that Hiro was worried about me. I guess I would have reacted the same if Hiro had shown up drunk to school. I cringed inwardly; I could not believe I had done that. My life really was spiralling out of control.

“I guess there’s no point sticking around here any longer. Are you ready to go home?” I asked.

Gabriel had fixed me with a wicked smirk. The arm around my shoulder that had started as a friendly gesture had turned into a caress as fingers trailed across my nape, sliding up into my hair for fingernails to scrape lightly along my scalp.  

“Absolutely ready. From top to bottom.” The smirk faded a little as I watched him in silent confusion.

“Well that’s....good?” I gave up trying to guess what he meant, and the smirk was replaced with an unreadable expression.

“Never mind.” Gabriel climbed to his feet. He almost looked a bit disappointed before he shook it off and offered me another smile.

#

Gabriel had steered the conversation to lighter topics, and as we made our way down the hill I was feeling happier than I had all week. I checked off the list, a silly smile plastering my face as I thought to myself: It was nearly the weekend, Gabriel wasn’t dating Iida anymore, and Hiro had finally shown an emotion beyond gratitude for Inoue’s existence. Yep, life was good.

Gabriel’s hand had wrapped around mine as we stood close together on the packed train and I let my fingers twine with his, thrilled that I didn’t have to feel guilty about stealing these close touches anymore.

Everything was working out perfectly. We arrived home to an empty house and without discussing it we both went straight up to my room.

Gabriel dumped his bag before collapsing on my bed face-first and I felt a smile tug at my lips as I put my bag against my desk, pulling my desk chair out ,and sitting backwards to face him as he looked over at me.

“I need to talk to you,” I told him, “about whatever the hell we’re doing.”

“I thought we did this. Haven’t we already done this?” He pushed up onto his elbows and rolled onto his side to face me properly as I shook my head.

“This is important so could you please just shut up and listen?” I said heatedly. I had been psyching myself up for this and I wasn’t about to let him derail me now. To my relief Gabriel complied, eyes trained on me as he patiently waited for me to continue. “You said once that you wanted me to be relaxed, not worrying about guilt and stuff.”

Despite my even and confident sounding tone I was fidgeting, twisting the chair from side to side as I spoke.

“I’ll feel guilty if you’re cheating on someone to do things with me.”

Gabriel listened to my explanation, that unreadable expression back as he waited for me to finish. 

“What do you suggest?” It seemed like a genuine question and I gave him the most straightforward answer I could.  

“Don’t date anyone else.” I faced him squarely, arms folded over the back of the chair as I watched him for a reaction. I wished I could see more of his face, but while he was lying on his stomach the pillow hid much of it from view.

“Are you asking me out?”

“No.” I shook my head a little too emphatically. “I’m asking you not to cheat on anyone to do things with me.”

“Oh. Ok,” he said brightly, propping his chin up with a hand as he began to scissor his feet playfully.

“Ok? Just like that?” I had expected more of a fight from him, but if he was agreeing with me then that made things easier.

“Sure. It’s a good point. I probably should have realised you wouldn’t want to share.”

“It’s not about…that. God.” I dropped my face onto my arms and shook my head slowly. “I’m seriously shocked no one has tried to murder you yet. How have you even survived up until now?”

“Enough talking. I want some compensation.” He patted the bed and I only hesitated for a moment before I complied. He had shuffled over to make room and as I lay down I let him roll over me, legs straddling my thighs as he bent down to nuzzle and kiss down my neck.

 _God he’s sexy_ , I thought as I watched him roll his body, sitting up and rocking his hips against me. He was gently tugging the knot of my tie down now, eyes locked on mine as the knot loosened and I raised my head to let him slip it off.

He threw it over his shoulder and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up as I reached for his own tie, pulling him back down to kiss me as he began to unbutton my shirt one handed.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” he murmured, breaking the kiss and turning my head to begin to kiss down my neck.

“Me, too,” I admitted, gasping as his lips travelled lower until they were teasing my nipple.

He soon sat up again as his hands slowly pushed my shirt fully open. Fingertips grazed over my bare chest, rubbing across my still-sensitive nipples before he pushed his palms flat and gently rocked his hips into me.

“Stop teasing,” I moaned, knocking his hands out of the way and reaching for his shirt. I pulled him closer, unbuttoning his shirt while bucking my own hips under him.

“Well, well. Someone’s eager.” I had enough buttons open to reach into his shirt and I slid my hands up his chest until I could reach his shoulders to pull him down further.  

Our lips met again and I moaned softly into his mouth as he settled on me, chests pressed together as we licked and sucked at each other. My hands found their way into his hair and I took control, pulling him down and tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Once he was where I wanted him I let my fingernails lightly rake through his hair, swallowing his moans as he tried to buck against me.  

He broke the kiss, pushing upright with one palm flat on my chest as I stared up at him breathlessly. With his messy hair, flushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips and rumpled shirt, he was finally starting to look as messy as he usually made me.

“See something you like?” he purred, leaning down to nip at my lips before moving to kiss and nibble down my neck.

“Yes.” I told him emphatically, sliding my hands up to tangle in his hair and drag him back up to my lips.

We were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice calling out from the front door, and with a sinking feeling I remembered it was Friday.

“It’s my sister, _god damn it_ ,” I told him, dropping my hands to the mattress so hard they bounced as a cloud of disappointment settled over me.  My breath hitched when he ground down again, my erection straining against the confines of my uniform.

I tried unsuccessfully to slide out from under him.

“Quick, move,” I told him as he sat up but stayed resolutely pinning me to the bed.

“I don’t think I can be that quick,” he said with a malicious grin, and I groaned as he continued to rock against me.

“ _Gabriel_ ,” I hissed warningly, and he finally slid off me with a sigh.

“Alright, fine.” He was tugging his shirt straight and running a hand though his hair while I fumbled with my buttons. I had managed to do them up wrong when I had a better idea and quickly started unbuttoning them again.

I dashed out to the landing to call down to my sister.

“Hey, I’m just changing. I’ll be downstairs in a sec!”

Hikari called back that she would wait in the living room and I leaned into the doorframe sighing with relief.

“That’s bought us some time, now go make yourself respectable.” I tried to shoo an amused-looking Gabriel out of my room but he pulled me closer with handfuls of my open shirt first, reaching up to push to it halfway down my arms as he kissed me in the open doorway.

“Go, hurry up,” I whispered between kisses, and finally pushed him out into the hall and shut the door behind him. I could hear him chuckle quietly as I quickly finished removing my uniform, changing into the first clothes I could find. Gabriel seemed like he was in an especially playful mood this afternoon, and I didn’t trust him to be alone with anyone, let alone Hikari (who my mother had told me thought Gabriel was handsome). Even though Gabriel had agreed not to date anyone, we hadn’t really talked about flirting and I didn’t doubt for a second that Gabriel wouldn’t consider her off-limits just because she had a husband.

#

“So how’s life, little brother?”

I had offered to make tea and had just set the tray down on the table.

“Same old,” I told her, pouring her a cup and placing it in front of her. I wondered when I had taken to lying to everyone I knew, probably about the same time I started lying to myself.

“Just wait, it’ll get crazier soon.” She shuddered, obviously remembering her own entrance exam hell, but then she sipped her tea and smiled. “But then again you’re a lot smarter than me, so I guess you’ll be fine.”

Gabriel was smirking at me as he sipped the tea I had given him.

“And I hear you’re aiming for T uni too.” Hikari cast an appraising glance at Gabriel.

“Sure am,” he replied, his eyes sliding away from me to face Hikari squarely and I decided I’d better change the subject. I sat down, pulling my own cup closer and blowing on the hot liquid.

“When’s dad back, do you know?”

My sister shrugged delicately. “Sometime this weekend is all I’ve heard.” Her attention drifted back to Gabriel.

“That reminds me, you should help Jin out with his English practice.” Gabriel tilted his head and waited for her to continue. “He’s always sucked but he needs to pick up his game if he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in the future.”

I flushed hotly under the critical gaze my sister tossed my way, but to my surprise Gabriel piped up in my defence.

“Nah, Jin only has trouble with pronunciation. He can read and write just fine. Besides,” I turned to him, colour draining from my face as he continued. “He won’t need it for uni anyway.”

Hikari looked politely puzzled as I desperately tried to warn Gabriel without words to shut the hell up.

“His major doesn’t require high English scores.”

Hikari blinked twice before turning to me.

“Something you’re not telling me, Jin?” she asked, and the fear must have been evident on my face because her look softened. “I know you don’t want to, but they expect it, you know?” She sighed as I remained tight-lipped. “It’s your life, little brother. Just be ready for a shit storm if you spring this on them at the last minute.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” I burst out, unable to keep silent anymore. “They won’t listen. I figured I’d just quietly apply where I wanted and hopefully by the time they find out it’ll be too late.”

Hikari was shaking her head at me and I fell silent.

“Well, at least you’re making your own decision. I’m actually proud of you.” Her gaze drifted over to Gabriel. “You must be a good influence on him. I never would have thought my baby brother would go against our parents.”

“He just needed a push,” Gabriel shrugged off the praise, “but I didn’t change his mind.” We locked eyes over the table as he continued, “Jin already knew what he wanted.”

#

I was grateful when Hikari let the subject drop after that, and we chatted about less volatile things, like the farm and the weather, until my mother arrived home with apologies for being caught up with PTA matters.

Hikari had brought more fresh produce, and I cheerfully helped set up the table for sukiyaki while my mother and sister prepared the ingredients in the kitchen.

Gabriel was excited about having “real” sukiyaki. He’d heard his mother talk about gathering around the table with her family and had always wanted to try it himself, but being an only child and living so far away from his Japanese relatives he had never had the chance before. I had watched in stunned fascination as my usually cold, absentee mother grew misty-eyed at Gabriel’s sob story. I had no doubt she would be pulling out all the stops tonight.

Dinner itself wasn’t nearly as awkward as I had expected it to be. Between Hikari and Gabriel the conversation was constant, and I mostly just sat back and watched how my mother doted on Gabriel, making sure he was offered everything and saving the best cuts of meat for him.

I was grateful that Hikari didn’t mention school at all, and even managed to deflect the subject when my mother brought up how we were starting prep school next week.

As I listened to my sister answer questions about the farm and her family, I started to wonder if everything was really alright with her. She was saying all the right things, but I couldn’t help noticing that sometimes her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

#

 _I love my sister_ , I chanted to myself as I read the next card in a bored monotone.

Gabriel and I were still stuck downstairs. Dinner was over; the dishes had long been cleared and put away. All I wanted was to escape to my room and do things in the dark with Gabriel while making as little noise as possible. Instead, I was stuck in the living room, leaning an elbow on the corner of the table as I watched Hikari teach my not-boyfriend how to play One Hundred Poets.

Even though she was beating the pants off him he still seemed to be having a good time. She’d even given herself handicaps: at first Hikari could only grab cards with her left hand, then she had to wait for five seconds before moving, and now in the last leg of the game we were only reading the second half of the poem. After this last rule took effect Gabriel had managed to grab his first three cards, but with less than ten to go it was a landslide victory for my sister.

“Again?” She asked, sweeping up her cards and tapping them together neatly as she gazed at us with shining eyes.

“I’ll pass.” Gabriel laughed, handing her his tiny collection of cards. “I think I’ve learned my lesson.”

“Jin?” she sounded so hopeful I couldn’t resist, and I shuffled the reading cards as I called Gabriel over.

“Come on, you can read for us.” I briefly explained how it usually worked. He needed to read the first half, wait a few seconds, and then read the second.

“Got it.”

Hikari divided up the deck and we arranged our cards, studying their positions before I nodded to Gabriel to begin.

It was a close game, and I enjoyed sneaking glances at Gabriel as the look of astonishment on his face grew. Hikari and I had grown up playing this game and it was still a favourite at New Years. We could both grab most of the cards on the first word and, while we weren’t sending cards flying like they do in competitions, we still looked pretty awesome as we slapped our hands down, fighting over whose fingers touched the card first.

#

Hikari, sore from losing against me, demanded a rematch and I let her beat me the second time. My mother had come in halfway through our second match and taking over reading duties, and with her melodious voice calling out the poems rhythmically it almost felt like we were a real family again.

After packing away the cards Hikari set out her futon and we started a bath rotation. I stayed downstairs to chat while Gabriel disappeared, and to my relief she didn’t try to bring up school or my future plans regarding uni.

I said goodnight on my way back upstairs after my bath and smiled happily at Hikari. In the end I was glad she had come to visit again. We had certainly drifted apart over the years, but it was comforting to know that deep down we still cared about each other.

I climbed the stairs eagerly and was surprised to see that my room was not as I left it. My door had been closed and my light switched off, and further down the hall I could see that Gabriel’s was still open. I bypassed my room, stopping to peer into Gabriel’s. He was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, and appeared to be absorbed in typing something on his phone. I must have made a noise because he looked up and smiled when he saw me watching.

“Come’re,” he said quietly, and I cast a glance over my shoulder before I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me. I padded softly over to the bed, crawling up to kneel between his legs as he put his phone aside. “Sleep here tonight?” he asked, hands smoothing up my sides.

“I shouldn’t,” I said softly before I leaned in to press my lips against his.  

Gabriel gently manoeuvred me until I was sitting sideways. I felt his knee lift behind me and I leant back, his arm securely around me as I lifted my legs to drape over his. He held up his hand and I pressed my palm to his before he locked our fingers together. I almost felt embarrassed at the intense way he was looking at me.

“…What?” I asked hesitantly when he remained silent. I watched him shake his head, his usual smile back in place.

“Just thinking about how badly you’d whip me at One Hundred Poets,” he said, adding drily, “remind me not to play you.”

I grinned, my free hand resting lightly on his neck as I leaned in to kiss him. 

We started slow and gentle, and I was surprised by how nice it felt to just kiss him without the sense of urgency our make outs usually carried. Our joined hands had lowered until they rested on my thighs, and my fingers teased lightly at the nape of his neck, twisting through his hair. The only sound in the room was the soft, wet smacks we were making as our mouths moved together.  

I felt like I could kiss Gabriel like this forever. My romantic fairy-tale heart craved this level of intimacy. and when Gabriel kissed me like this I felt like I’d found my Disney prince.  

“We were interrupted earlier,” he said, voice low and sexy as I shook my head, rubbing our noses together.  

“Too risky,” I whispered back before pressing my lips back to his. I had been thinking much the same thing, but I also thought it would be dangerous to get too carried away with Hikari only just downstairs.

“I want you,” Gabriel’s whisper sent a thrill through me that brought a new urgency to our kisses.

“Right now?” I asked breathlessly when he moved to kiss down my neck.

“Yes, right now.” He gradually lowered me back onto the bed, climbing on top of me and bending down to whisper against my lips again. “I haven’t had you in so long.”

I bit off a moan that threatened to spill as he reached between us to palm at the bulge in my pants.

“Whose fault it that, I wonder?” I was trying to be cute, but the effect was ruined somewhat by the way my breath hitched in my throat.

“We’ll be quiet,” he promised, sliding off of me to push my pants down. I gasped as he covered me immediately, sliding my hardening cock between his lips as I parted my legs for his wandering hands. 

I fisted my fingers in his hair as he bobbed on my cock, my deep, shaky breaths the loudest noise in the room. My eyes kept straying to the closed door. I felt very exposed in the brightly lit room.

Gabriel slowly slid back until just the tip of me was between his lips, his tongue licking smooth  strokes against me as his hand fisted around my shaft.

A strangled gasp escaped me when he looked up, catching my eye just as his tongue teased my slit. I watched him smile around my cock, giving me one last lick before moving back to pull my pyjamas from me entirely.

“The light,” I said, and he nodded before silently getting up to hit the switch. The soft light through the window was just enough to see by and I watched as Gabriel returned, snagging the lubricant from his bedside table as he climbed back up next to me.

My cock was throbbing almost painfully in the cool night air, my wet flesh sensitive after his tender ministrations. But Gabriel was ignoring it as he poured some gel onto his fingers, lying down next to me and pulling me closer until we our chests were flush together, my weeping cock nudging against his soft shirt.

His eyes were dark, what little light there was reflected in them like stars before he pulled me closer to kiss me again. I let my eyes drift closed and focused on the feeling of him sliding one leg between mine, his hand moving between my parted legs to stroke against me.

The lube had warmed in his hand and I felt a pleasant shudder run through me as he teased me, rubbing the gel against my twitching hole. Our lips were still locked together and he sucked my tongue into his mouth just before he pressed the first finger into me. I gasped at the overload of sensation as he began to move.

“Quiet, remember?” he nibbled at my lip, softly chastising me as I choked down the noises that threatened to escape.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

I heard him chuckle quietly in the dark before his lips closed over mine once more. I had adjusted already and tried to press closer, chasing friction against his hand.

“Patience,” he whispered, adding a second finger, still working me slowly and refusing to touch the one spot that would have me seeing stars.

He was clearly calling the shots and, as unfair as that was, I was pretty sure I could turn the tables on him. I let my hand slide lower, catching on his clothes as I reached for the tent in his pants. I grabbed his waistband and pushed it down, moving my hips away to let his erection bob free. Gabriel pulled me back again and I couldn’t stop the soft cry I made as his fingers curled inside me.

My fingers brushed his wrist as I reached to wrap my hands around both of us, at first matching the slow pace he had set as he stretched me to take a third finger. I wanted him to go faster and I tried to increase the pace, but as I sped up he slowed down.

I tried to covey my urgency, kissing him desperately as I bucked on his fingers, but he just laughed against my lips, returning my kisses and stroking my insides with the same maddeningly slow touch.

“Gabriel,” I growled, releasing my own cock to concentrate more fully on him. “I’m ready. Hurry up.”

“No.”

I whined wordlessly as he shushed me, kissing me with deliberate tenderness before he continued.  

“I’ve been waiting all week for this; I’m not rushing it now.”

My hand faltered as he curled his fingers again and I bucked helplessly.

“Please,” I tried to reach down further to tempt him, but Gabriel’s leg wedged between mine was effectively protecting him from that kind of attack. The next best thing I knew to get his blood boiling was becoming a weak mess for him, and as I became softer around his pumping fingers I was hardly even acting. “Please Gabriel,” I begged, digging my fingers into his hip for purchase as I ground against him. “I want you…inside me.”

I could felt him smiling, his bottom lip stretching even as I sucked at it.

“But I’m already inside you,” he countered, punctuating his sentence with a flick of his fingers. The coil in my belly was winding tighter and I had never before wanted so desperately to come.   

“Please…” I whispered desperately between breaths.“…want…to come.”

“You can come, Jin. I’ve got all night.”

I tried again, pushing away slightly to lessen the friction as I spoke.

“I want _you_ to come.”

He chuckled darkly as he chased me, scooping me back to his chest as I bucked against him again.

“I’ll do that too.”

“Inside me. Come inside me.”

I felt him falter for a second, but it was all I needed to know that I had almost won.

“Please Gabriel.” I chased him in the dark, pressing hungry kisses against his still lips between breathless words.

I reached up to hold his face tenderly, using every move on him he’d been using against me since the beginning.

“Please,” I whispered again, pressing our foreheads together as I stroked feather-light touches down his face.  “Please. I’m so ready for you.”

I knew I had won when Gabriel tilted his face to kiss me.  His hand had stilled and was pulling away from me now. While I missed the feeling of being stretched around his fingers I knew in a second I’d have something even better. I could feel his leg sliding away from me but I squeezed down with my thighs, trapping him in place.

“Jin,” He said, voice sounding strained as he tried to pull free. “If you want me to fuck you, you need to let me get a condom.”

“Don’t need it.” I told him, and he kissed me again, pushing me over until I was lying on my back. I had loosened my grip on his leg when he kissed me and now he was looming over me, eyes searching for mine in the darkness.

“It’s messy, Jin,” he said, and I couldn’t believe he was trying to talk me out of it when his voice was that strained with want. I smiled in reply before turning his head to lick from his collar up to his ear.

“Make a mess of me,” I whispered to him, and he made the tiniest, hungriest mewling sound that I had ever heard.

In an instant he had climbed off me, flipping me over before strong hands grabbed my hips and dragged me closer. I braced myself on my elbows, breathless with anticipation.

The hands left my hips and I heard the wet, slick sound of Gabriel readying himself and then more lubricant was wiped thickly against me. I pulled a pillow towards me, face pressing into the fabric as Gabriel positioned himself and began to push into me.

It felt different from the other times. Bigger. Even with the extra lube there was more friction as he slowly pressed in, and the pillow muffled the lewd sounds I failed at stifling. His hands had returned to my hips, fingers gripping me tight as he gradually filled me inch by inch.

When he was finally seated fully he leaned over me, chest pressed into my back as he kissed my shoulder blades and down my spine. 

“God Jin, you’re perfect,” he whispered, hands sliding over me, pulling my thighs flush with his as he leaned back again and began to move.

“Oh my god,” I choked, face still shoved into the pillow. The friction of him moving in me was indescribable as he pulled at my hips.

Gabriel was doing better than me at staying quiet, his deep breaths coming around soft exclamations and swallowed moans as he bucked into me.

I felt his hands slide down to cup my ass, fingers squeezing me gently before sliding up higher, over the small of my back and up my spine. A firm hand pushed me down as the other moved to splay across my stomach, and as I let him press my chest into the mattress he began to move faster.

“Oh _god_.” I was having trouble forming any thoughts more coherent than that. My eyes were open wide, but everything was black as I felt every bit of Gabriel moving in me, and now every stroke was dragging against that spot. The coil of my orgasm had wound too tight, and as I felt it begin to break I suddenly needed to tell Gabriel.

“Gabriel!” I gasped out, conscious that I had to be quiet but desperate for him to know how good he was making me feel. “Gabriel, I’m coming! So good! I’m coming!”

I felt myself break, clenching around Gabriel as my bouncing cock shot ropey strands everywhere from my stomach to the bed sheets. As the swell of my orgasm began to descend, his fingers bit into my hips as I literally felt him come inside me, the jerk of his contractions tugging at my walls as he filled me with his release.

I felt boneless and offered no resistance when Gabriel pushed me flat to the bed, rolling us over to wrap his arms around me and press urgent kisses down my neck.

We lay silently, each slowly getting our breath back, our warm bodies enough for each other for the moment. I tugged on Gabriel’s arms, pulling them more firmly around me like a blanket.

“That was incredible,” I said quietly, and Gabriel bucked gently against me, pressing close so that he stayed seated instead of slipping out.

“Mind-blowing,” he agreed, nuzzling closer and kissing along my jaw as I turned to look up at him.

“The best,” I said, as he leaned down to kiss my lips.

“Jin?” I opened my eyes to look at him. The soft way he had called my name surprised me, and it was making my heart feel like it was too big for my chest.

“Yes?” I waited, but a look was settling over his face, one of those unreadable masks that I was beginning to think he used to hide his true feelings.

“We should clean up.” He kissed me again, lips soft but greedy, and I tried not to feel disappointed as he slid his cock free, peppering me with more kisses before getting up to find the wet wipes in the dark.

Gabriel had told me to lie still while he wiped the excess lube from between my legs, and then with a smirk I didn’t like the look of had said I might want to keep the packet handy for a while. He shook his head at me looking very amused when I complained.

“I warned ya it was messy,” he said, resting his warm hand on my head and gently ruffling my hair.  “Maybe you’ll listen to me next time.” He leaned down to press a kiss to my cheek because I had turned my face away as I pouted, but he was grinning at me as he turned to go. “I’ll be back, just hitting the john,” he said, and I offered him a non-pouty smile before he ducked across the hall.

I looked down to survey the damage. Gabriel had helped me remove my shirt and wiped me clean, but the top sheet was a mess. I stripped the sheet from the bed and balled it up with my soiled shirt, chucking it across the room and making a mental note to deal with it tomorrow.

I could feel a strange sensation when I stood and I quickly grabbed a wet wipe as I felt a slickness on my thighs. A blush coloured my cheeks in the dark as I thought about the implications, wiping myself hurriedly and disposing of the wipes in the bin.

I met Gabriel at the door as he was returning, and I was surprised when his arm curled around my waist, holding me back when I tried to pass him.

“I don’t think so,” he whispered playfully, pulling me back into the room and kissing me until I was breathless.

“I was going to steal the sheet from my bed,” I told him when he finally let me breathe, “I was coming back.”

“Good.” He didn’t exactly release me, but he let me step out of his embrace as I tiptoed out the door.

I didn’t bother with the lights, just quickly stripped the top sheet from my bed before hurrying back to Gabriel. I was surprised when he helped me arrange it on the bed before stepping back to let me crawl in first.

When Gabriel got in next to me I had been expecting his arms around me and I wasn’t disappointed. As strange as it seemed, I was already used to him holding me close, pulling me to him as we lay together, but something about tonight felt different. His hands were moving slowly everywhere they could reach, soft touches smoothing down my arms and up my sides. I felt him press chaste kisses along my shoulder as he changed to a light teasing touch of fingertips dancing across my exposed skin.

“Aren’t you tired?” I asked eventually, arching back into his touch as his warm hand splayed on my stomach to pull me closer.

“Shhh, I’m recharging.” He nuzzled closer, nose and lips pressing into my neck as he continued his soft touches. I kind of knew what he meant; I had definitely missed this. I wanted to stay awake longer, enjoying the feeling of Gabriel wrapped around me and his tender touches, but my eyelids felt heavy and without meaning to I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

“Jin?”

Was I dreaming already? It sounded like Gabriel was calling me from far away, his quiet voice echoing in my mind. I wanted to wake up and answer him, but I couldn’t break through the heavy fog of sleep.

_“Do you love me?”_

#


	14. Saturday: City dates

**Day thirteen: City dates** (Saturday)

I woke quickly, a panicky feeling gripping my chest as my eyes flew open in the morning light. I had heard something: movement in the hall outside. I couldn’t believe I had thrown caution to the wind and let Gabriel convince me to sleep in his bed with both my mother _and_ Hikari in the house.

Ears straining for the slightest sound, I realised it must be Hikari in the upstairs bathroom. I hoped she wouldn’t peek in my room to try and wake me up. While I doubted she would open Gabriel’s door, if she found my room empty it probably wouldn’t take a genius to work out I was sleeping next door.

I held my breath, heart pounding as I heard the running tap shut off. I didn’t dare move as I willed her to go straight back downstairs. I heard a floorboard squeak and, when the sound of bare feet descending the stairs reached my ears, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, slumping back down as all the tension left me.

My early morning panic hadn’t disturbed Gabriel and I rolled over in his arms to press a kiss to his forehead. Now that I could breathe freely again, I was noticing all the little twinges from our night-time activities. I stretched as much as I could in the limited space. The feeling in my abused muscles, the tender bruises, and the dull ache between my hips were all pleasant, but I needed to get out of the danger zone and back to the safety of my room.

“Gabriel?” I called softly, running my fingers through his hair as I tried to gently wake him. “I’m going downstairs to shower, ok?” I felt his arm tighten around me in response.

“ _S’taay_ ,” was his sleepy mumble, and I couldn’t help smiling.

“Someone’s going to catch me in here, idiot.” I told him, and I wriggled out of his grasp, placating him with kisses as I pulled his arm off me.

I sat up and crawled to the end of the bed, casting around for a shirt to borrow. I was momentarily grateful that Gabriel was so messy when I located one quickly, pulling it on before I grabbed the discarded shirt and sheet from last night.  

Sneaking back to my room I left the soiled bundle at the foot of the bed before arranging the comforter so it looked like the bed had been slept in. After picking some clothes to change into, I headed downstairs. First things first, I needed a shower.

I could hear quiet voices coming from the living room so I assumed my mother must be awake as well. Racing to the bathroom to avoid them I showered quickly, lathering the soap to remove every last trace of our nocturnal activities. I would concede that Gabriel had been correct; it definitely was messy. But as I recalled how different it had felt, the way I had been able to feel him _more_ , I was happy to admit that it was worth any amount of mess.

I stuck my head in to say good morning before heading to the kitchen to make coffee. It didn’t look like anyone had made breakfast yet and I thought about the siphon café again. It had made Gabriel so happy and, despite my better judgement, making him happy seemed to be one of my priorities now. While the coffee percolated I returned to the living room to ask if anyone already had breakfast plans, and when I was met with negatives I extended the invitation.

“Sounds good, I’m in,” Hikari said, but my mother politely declined.

“I have to go out this morning, but you three have fun.”

“Ok,” I turned to listen for the coffee maker, it sounded like it was almost done. “I’ll go wake Gabriel up then. It usually takes a while, and it doesn’t work without coffee.”

Hikari laughed and said there was no rush. I was relieved it didn’t look like Hikari had noticed anything unusual about us, but I was still a bit on edge. I told her there was plenty of coffee in the kitchen before heading back to pour one for Gabriel and myself.

I made it back upstairs without incident, and although they probably wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway I made a show of knocking on Gabriel’s door before I went in. I hadn’t been expecting an answer and I wasn’t surprised that he was still curled up in bed. I shut the door behind me and put both cups down before climbing over and sitting back against the wall.

“Morning!” I announced brightly. I was resting my legs on him and I rocked my calves against his knees. His incoherent moan only spurred me on. “Don’t whinge. You’ve got coffee and we’re going to have a real breakfast again.”

“M’awake,” he mumbled, struggling upright and reaching automatically for the coffee.

“How did you sleep?” I asked, leaning forward and raising my knees to rest my arms on them as I watched him.

“Good.” He was blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes and I honestly thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “You?”

“Great!” I answered brightly. I was sure today was going to be a good day. It was only the start of the weekend, I had no unwanted plans or obligations, and Gabriel and I were back on agreeable terms—a trifecta perfecta.

Gabriel was looking more awake already; he had stopped inhaling his coffee long enough to pass me mine.

“So, breakfast at the café again?” Gabriel asked, and I nodded.

“Hikari’s coming too, is that ok?”

“The more the merrier,” he said, groaning a bit as he put his empty mug back on the bedside before turning to collapse face down on his pillow. “Ugh, I wish you could bring me breakfast in bed.”

I swatted him on the bum as I scooted off the bed.

“Don’t be lazy. Hurry up and get ready, I’m hungry.”

I checked over my shoulder to see if he was actually getting up. Instead he was eyeing me darkly, only one eye visible where he had raised his head from the pillow.

“Slave driver,” he groaned, but as he rose to his knees I could see that he was smiling. I let myself out so he could dress in peace.

#

It gave me a strange sense of satisfaction that Gabriel and Hikari were getting along well. Hikari was teasing me and Gabriel laughed along and encouraged my sister, and I had to keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t be getting my hopes up.

Gabriel had made himself very clear; he was not my boyfriend. While I was secretly harbouring the hope that he would see how nice it would be to just let himself get involved with me, I knew that what we had would only be temporary. Still, it didn’t hurt that Gabriel was getting along well with my family. Maybe that would help to prolong whatever it was that we were doing.

The American breakfast was amazing once again, but I only gave Gabriel one of my bacon rashers this time, noticing the odd look Hikari gave me when I had slid it onto his plate.

Apart from that, the mood was relaxed and pleasant as Hikari asked what we had planned for the weekend.

“I want to explore some more,” Gabriel told her between mouthfuls. “I haven’t really done much touristing yet.”

“We can start at the Skytree,” I suggested. “It’s the highest point in Tokyo. On a clear day like today you’ll get a great view of Mount Fuji; there’s nothing more touristy than that.”

“And you should definitely go to a museum.” Hikari had pulled up an app on her phone and was scrolling through museums in the city.

“We’re not all Art geeks, sis.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“But you are a manga geek bro,” she shot back, but she softened it with a smile. “Are you into anime and manga too Gabriel?” she asked, turning her phone to show the place she had found. I leaned over the table to hold the phone steady as I read the description. It sounded like a fun place.

“I’m definitely a fan.” Gabriel confirmed.

“Oh! And if you’re into that scene you _have_ to try a maid café!” she gushed, telling Gabriel all about the phenomenon as I took her phone and started searching for other things to do in the city. I found an aquarium, and there was a movie out at the moment I wanted to see. I wasn’t really sure what other touristy things Gabriel might want to do, but we’d probably find them if we wandered around the city long enough.

I could tell Hikari had fun helping us plan a tour of the city, but I was relieved she wasn’t going to be coming with us. Surprised as I was that I had enjoyed spending time with her, I didn’t want her tagging along with us all day. We parted outside the café. Hikari was heading back to the house to pack up for her trip home and Gabriel was keen to get started on our adventure. I froze at first when she hugged me, unaccustomed to the gesture from her. To my relief she released me quickly, ruffling my hair before calling her goodbyes.

I waved her off, still a bit weirded out by her unusual show of affection, before Gabriel draped an arm over my shoulder.

“Lead the way,” he said, and I grinned happily at him as we turned and headed towards the station.

#

We navigated the trains to Asakusa first. Of all the places we’d found to visit, Gabriel was most excited about the Skytree. He had gripped my hand tightly in the elevator and, as I watched the floor numbers zip by, I told myself the butterflies in my stomach were from the ascent. 

 _This is kind of like a date,_ I thought as I gazed over the city, my hand still wrapped up in Gabriel’s as he pointed excitedly at something on the touchscreen. I turned to watch him as he continued to babble enthusiastically about all the places we could see, pointing them out on the screen and then scanning out the windows to locate them in the real world. It was almost involuntary when I gave his hand a squeeze. He was just so happy and excited that his enthusiasm was affecting me.

“Come on,” I urged him when he looked over at me. “We’re not even at the top yet.”

I felt more exposed walking while holding his hand, and as we moved to the ramp I did try to pull my hand back, but Gabriel had a firm hold on me and he wasn’t letting me go.

“Someone will see.” I leaned closer to hiss in his ear, but he just shrugged and pulled me along.

“So? We’re not doing anything wrong.” I gave up fighting him about it. While I still felt self-conscious about the stares I knew we were attracting, it was also kind of nice that Gabriel was happy for people to see us and assume that we were together. I felt an almost silly grin tug at my lips as I realised that I liked the idea of Gabriel staking a claim on me.

We were ascending the ramp slowly, stopping to view the city from every angle. We had paused to look out at Mount Fuji in the distance when Gabriel let go of my hand in favour of sliding an arm around my waist. I immediately twisted away from him, putting my arm out to hold him back.

“Not in public,” I told him, darting a glance up and down the ramp.

“Relax,” he said, catching my hand and raising it to brush my knuckles against his lips. “There’s no one here.”

We did appear to be alone for the moment, but I still worried that someone might come around the corner at any moment.

“Gabriel,” I tried to sound stern, but he was pulling me closer and instead of pushing him away again I melted into his embrace, our lips meeting in the sweetest kiss. I was almost disappointed when he released me again, but I realised why when the sound of approaching feet reached my ears.

We continued to the top level with Gabriel stealing quick kisses whenever he felt like he could get away with it. When he started getting a bit too reckless I suggested we check out the café on a lower floor. While I was pretty sure he’d want to spoon-feed me dessert, I was more prepared to share cake than be caught with his tongue down my throat.

#

“Where should we go next?” I asked, knowing full well that we’d already planned the aquarium. I was hoping that Gabriel might have forgotten because in his current mood, deliberately going someplace dark seemed like a recipe for disaster. One look at him and I knew I was busted. He raised the spoon to his lips, eyes closing as he moaned softly, sucking the spoon clean before sticking it back in the glass and pushing it towards me.

This was the compromise I’d wrangled. Seated across the table from him in a bright, open space I had refused to let him hold the spoon for me. Instead, we were taking turns with the parfait, and Gabriel was making things as hard on me, in _every_ sense of the word, as he possibly could.

“I believe we decided the Aquarium was next.” The toe of his shoe was rubbing my ankle and I twisted in my seat to get away from him.

“Ok, alright, just _stop_ ,” I said, casting worried glances around the busy café.

“You’re so hot when you’re pissed at me.”

“I guess that solves the mystery of why you like me so much,” I said waspishly. “Because you’re always pissing me off.” I pulled the parfait closer and ate a bite, then a second as I tried to relax. I hadn’t looked up since I snapped at him and Gabriel hadn’t said a word. “Sorry.”

I didn’t sound sorry so I at least tried to look a bit contrite as I pushed the parfait back to his side of the table. He was watching me, head propped up on one hand as he dragged the glass closer one-handed.

“What’s got you so worked up?” I turned away from him so I didn’t have to watch him eat.

“Nothing,” I said, shifting in my seat uncomfortably and avoiding looking over at him until I heard the scrape of the glass on the table.

“Are you sure there isn’t something I can help you with?” he was leaning forward, hand still holding the glass and my fingers brushed against his as I pulled it closer.

“Not even in your wildest dreams.”

His grin widened as I confirmed his suspicions.

“Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. What do you think the bathrooms are like up here?”

“Absolutely not. _No_.” I shook my head emphatically before lowering my voice to continue. “You’ve got to be kidding. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” This was clearly the wrong thing to tell him, because he just grinned wider in response.

“Even better.”

“No, Gabriel.”

“Come on, Jin. How hot would it be? This tower is more than six hundred metres tall. That’s the highest I would have ever got off.”

“You’ve never done it on a plane?” I asked, my embarrassment temporarily forgotten as curiosity got the better of me.

“Not yet. We should try it sometime.” He winked and licked the spoon clean.

In my periphery I saw a waitress clearing a nearby table and I blushed automatically. She couldn’t possibly hear our low voices over the constant chatter in the café but I dropped my voice to a whisper anyway.

“I’d rather do it at home. It seems like it would be…uncomfortable.” I felt like I was getting my blush under control and to my relief Gabriel leaned back, releasing the parfait as I had another mouthful in peace.

“You raise a fair point,” he finally conceded, and I sighed in relief. As much as I loved the idea of relieving the pressure in my pants, the mere thought of getting caught in a public bathroom was enough to get my erection under control. I offered Gabriel the last of our dessert and soon after we rose to leave.

Thankfully, Gabriel was on his best behaviour at the aquarium, although he did insist on holding my hand again as we walked through the cool, dark exhibits. I had tried to pull away when we got to the brightly lit tunnel, but even though we were surrounded by couples and families Gabriel had steadfastly refused to let me go.

We had planned to do more in the city, but by the time we reached the outdoor exhibits I was ready to call it quits. To be honest, I would have been more than happy to spend all day at home with Gabriel, where I didn’t have to worry about being judged by strangers.

“Shall we head home?” I asked. We were walking towards the station and Gabriel cast a sideways glance at me, hands thrust in his pockets.

“Sure, if you want,” he replied easily, and I nodded as we turned down an alley.

“We can always finish the tour tomorrow,” I told him, and he shifted closer, letting his hand brush against mine. I reached for him and twined our fingers together as our steps slowed. There was no one here to see.

“Something you want to do at home?” Gabriel asked mischievously as we slowed to a stop, and I took hesitant steps as he began to back me towards the wall.

“Maybe,” I offered, letting his fingers slide from mine as he reached up to tilt my head back, his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. He didn’t have to wait long. My token resistance was crumbling as I opened to him. I let his tongue caress mine, taking his hungry kisses and giving them back as I slid my hands under his shirt.

The jarring sound of something hitting the ground startled us and as we sprang apart I spotted a rolling can spilling its fizzy contents onto the street. We both laughed at the unconventional interruption and Gabriel ran a hand through his hair as I brushed down my shirt.

“We should probably go.” I tugged on Gabriel’s shirt to get his attention and he turned back to me, a smile quickly replacing whatever face he had been making as he watched the street beyond the alley.

“Yeah,” he agreed, taking my hand again as we continued to the station.

#

We arrived back to an empty house, and I was happy, until I got up to my room and discovered to my horror that my bed sheets had been changed. The soiled sheet I had left this morning was gone. I had intended to deal with that mess sometime today, but it looked like my mother had beaten me to it.

 _Typical_ , I thought, blushing furiously. The one time she did the laundry a day early and it was today. I hoped to god she didn’t mention it to me. I would die of shame. At least I’d had the foresight to bring the sheet and shirt back to my room. I did not want her wondering what one of my spunk-covered shirts might have been doing in Gabriel’s room.

I pointed out the situation to Gabriel, who much to my annoyance found it hilarious. I didn’t see how it was funny and told him so, but it was hard to be mad at him when he tipped me backwards onto my new, clean sheets and started kissing me senseless.

“Nice to see you’re happy to be kissed again,” he said when we broke apart long enough to draw breath.

We were tangled together on my bed, my shirt rucked up and Gabriel’s wandering hand tracing patterns with his fingernails as they lightly raked over my exposed skin.  

“We’re not in public anymore, idiot. We can do what we want.”

“Have you noticed how your affectionate nickname for me is idiot?” He replied, rolling us so that I was on top as he bucked his hips under me.

“Who said it was affectionate?” I countered evilly.

“Don’t lie. You love me.”

“I love having sex with you.”

He shrugged, “Eh, I’ll take it.” And suddenly I found myself being flipped over again as he moved to undo my belt.

We were interrupted by a male voice calling from the front door, and with a sinking feeling I realised my father was finally home.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I moaned as I slapped my hands over my face.

Gabriel had collapsed flat on me with a groan of defeat and I moved to try and push him off.  

“I usually have good karma,” Gabriel complained as he rolled off me, flopping onto his back and pouting at the ceiling. 

I sat up and gave my clothes a once-over; Gabriel hadn’t even managed to get my belt unbuckled.

“Cosmic payback for messing with my life,” I told him flippantly, and he gave me a lopsided grin.

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I shrugged, refusing to acknowledge it was true, but I had to turn my back to hide my smile. He was right; I might not have signed up for it but this was my life now.

We traipsed downstairs and found my father in the living room. I shuffled my feet awkwardly as I asked how his trip had been and if he would like tea.

Italy had apparently been “very productive”, and tea would be “lovely, thank you”.

I left Gabriel with him while I grabbed the tea things. I felt a twinge of worry about leaving my father and Gabriel unattended, but as I left I had heard him asking all the customary questions about how he was settling in, did he like it so far, etcetera and Gabriel was answering him like a normal person, so maybe I was overreacting.

“What have you boys been up to?” I heard him ask loudly as I returned with a tray of tea. I hoped to god I wasn’t blushing, but my face felt suspiciously hot as I listened to Gabriel describe a G-rated version of our jaunt in the city that morning.

“Sounds like Jin’s doing a great job of taking care of you,” he said proudly, and I was unable to look him in the eye as he took the tea I offered.

“He sure is,” Gabriel agreed, flashing me a grin, and as I walked behind him I was tempted to whack him with the empty tea tray.

#

As mortifying as our reunion had begun, it soon settled down as Gabriel stopped teasing me. No doubt tired from his flight, it wasn’t long before my father excused himself for a nap, and we took the opportunity to flee back upstairs, although first I made Gabriel promise he would behave.

We ended up back in his room, his laptop open on the bedside table, and angled so that we could watch a movie while sitting on his bed. I had declined my favourite movie-watching position at first. I thought it would be too compromising if somebody walked in on us and I was sitting between his legs, but Gabriel talked me around with a solid argument that even if anyone came upstairs they would knock and wait before opening his door, and that would give us plenty of time to move.

As I settled back on Gabriel’s broad chest I was glad he had convinced me. There was something indescribably comforting about being wrapped up in his strong, warm arms, and I was relishing every minute of it. Gabriel had been nuzzling and kissing my neck for almost half of the movie, and while I was enjoying it immensely, it was quite distracting (not to mention uncomfortable considering that I was still wearing jeans).

“Gabriel?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you watching the movie?”

“Mmhm.”

“Are you sure you’re not missing it? There’s important plot stuff happening.”

“You’re important plot stuff,” he murmured, sucking lightly over my pulse.

 I rolled my eyes and pulled away to look at him over my shoulder.

“I’ve wondered this before but do you think you might have a sex addition?” I asked, and he bowed his head and heaved a sigh.

“Jin, I’m head over heels in lust with you, not a fucking sex addict. Jesus.”

Turning back, but unable to concentrate on the movie, I said almost to myself.

“That seems unrealistic.”

Gabriel’s hands were running lightly up my arms as he leaned closer again.

“Do you lust after me?”

“Yes,” I replied immediately. We both knew it was the truth, and there seemed little point in hiding it.

“If we were home alone would you be naked right now?”

“...probably.” I conceded, a light frown creasing my face as he put on a serious voice.

“And so, Your Honour, I present to you two perfectly ordinary teenagers with raging hormones. That is all. Case Closed.”

I smacked his arm lightly but the edges of my frown were twitching into a smile.

“Oi. No lawyer talk.”

I shifted against him, pulling his arms more firmly around me.

“Is that all this is? Hormones?” I pressed, still not satisfied with his explanation.

“You almost sound disappointed.”

I bit my lip, unsure if I wanted to plunge ahead. I had been shut down once before when I’d bared my feelings but lately Gabriel had seemed…different. Less cold.

“I think it might be more than that.” I tested the waters carefully, ready to back out if I needed to.

“Yeah?”

I sighed, feeling exasperation edging on annoyance that Gabriel was deliberately making me do all the work.

“Why do you want to sleep in my bed? Even when we’re not doing anything?” I pressed,

“I dunno.” He shrugged, but his arms tightened around me as he dropped a kiss to my shoulder. “I just feel more relaxed with you.”

“Because…?” I prompted, but he didn’t answer as he continued to press kisses slowly along my shoulder and neck until he was sucking lightly below my ear. “Gabriel.”

I wanted him to answer and I tried to twist towards him, but his hand moved to my chin to tilt my head back. I pressed my palm over his mouth before he could kiss me again and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Not until you give me an answer.”

He sighed and twisted away from my hand, letting go of me to scrub a hand over his face.

“Because you have a magic ass. I don’t know.”

I glared at him, hoping he could feel my disappointment as I shifted away from him.

“ _You’re_ an ass,” I replied childishly.

“Look, Jin. I’m not _trying_ to hurt you.”

“Really? Well you’re doing a shitty job.”

We locked eyes for a long moment before he sighed again, gaze dropping as he sighed, “I know.”

It wasn’t working, but if he wasn’t going to humour me, then maybe he’d be more forthcoming if it wasn’t about us. I leaned back again as I pulled his arms around me, settling back as he rested his chin on my shoulder. 

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked, fingers fidgeting, ghosting over his hands as he held me tight.

I felt him shift, turning away from me slightly before he replied.

“Do we have to talk about this?” His voice sounded a bit strained, not like his usual self at all.

“Yes,” I insisted, and he sighed. I wished I could see his face, but for the moment I was happy he was at least responding.  

“To answer that I’d need to know your definition of ‘love’.”

I frowned at that, turning to try and look at him as I answered.

“The normal definition. Love means love.”

Gabriel pulled his arms out from under mine, shifting until he closed his hands over mine and threaded our fingers together.

“When you say ‘love’ aren’t you also saying ‘forever’?” I felt my stomach flip as he hugged me close. “You have this mad ideal of love that once it’s yours, it’s yours until you die, or they die, but real life isn’t like that.” I had closed my eyes as I let Gabriel’s monotone voice wash over me. “Say two people meet. They get along well. Similar interests. Similar ethics. They’re physically compatible. Halleluiah: they’re in love.” I wondered if Gabriel could feel my heart pounding. Our arms were crossed over my chest and I was sure that my heartbeat was as obvious to him as it was to me as he continued.

“But every day you’re alive you’re changing. New interests replace old ones. Worldviews change. Bodies age. Suddenly you find you don’t fit together like you used too. Silences stretch from hours to days. You sit across from someone you once happily shared your life with and now they’re a stranger in your house, unwelcome, and reminding you every day that you’re not happy anymore. You’re alone again.”

Tears had filled my eyes as I listed to Gabriel’s soft voice explain what I was sure were his parents. I squeezed his fingers in mine, tugging his arms around me tighter as I leaned into him, trying to convey comfort.

“Relationships come with a time limit. It’s just that most people don’t let go when they’re done.”

“Ok,” I said softly when he fell silent, and I was shocked when I felt a tear splash on my shoulder. “It’s ok,” I said as I tried to turn around; Gabriel had released my hands but he was only holding me tighter now, face pressed into my shoulder as I felt hot tears soak into my shirt.

I wanted to hug him properly, and I was trying to pat his arms soothingly, gently pulling away so that I could turn around.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked as he finally let me go, and for a moment all I could do was watch the tears gathering and spilling unchecked down his cheeks before I reached up to brush them away.

“No.” he tried to smile but it was more of a grimace as I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck. I was relieved when he reciprocated, arms going around me as his head once again dropped to my shoulder. 

“That’s ok,” I tightened my grip as I stroked his hair. “But if you ever want to, I’ll listen. Ok?”

Gabriel didn’t respond immediately and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. We were pressed so tightly together I could feel the deep breath he took before responding.

“Thanks, Jin.”

I smiled as I continued to gently stroke his hair and he held me firmly. Just when I thought I’d seen it all, Gabriel had shown me yet another side of him and instead of being scared I was pleased. Something told me that Gabriel had shown me something he didn’t show very often, and I felt incredibly privileged to have witnessed him be so vulnerable.

As he slowly released me I got up to retrieve the tissue box from the desk, dabbing at his tear-streaked cheeks before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. We had missed a huge chunk of the movie and I skipped back a few scenes until the story looked familiar before settling back in my original spot, Gabriel’s arms once again securely around me.

My shoulder was still damp, the thin fabric of my shirt moulded to my skin proof of what had just happened.

Despite how we had been tipping into an argument, we had managed to remain mostly civil and in the end Gabriel had opened up to me. I didn’t care if Gabriel refused to acknowledge that what we had was a relationship. Label or not, this was exactly what that was, and I grinned happily to myself throughout the rest of the movie.

#

Gabriel had been silent and still until the credits and I had worried that he might still be upset, but I was reassured when he dropped a single kiss to my drying shoulder and urged me gently to move so he could pull a box over to the bed. I watched him curiously as he started to pull books out and stack them up on the floor.

“I didn’t know you were into manga too,” he said, and I watched dumbfounded as he revealed under the top layers of novels a collection of manga.

We spent the next twenty minutes pawing through his collection which were, “just my favourites, believe me this is only a tenth of what I own,” and swapping recommendations.

“Here, you’ll like this one.” I caught the volume he tossed to me and turned it over to read the cover.

“It’s in English,” I said, opening it to the first page before flicking through it a bit.

“So? You can read it.”

He wasn’t wrong, but it reminded me of my inadequacies and that always made me feel disappointed in myself.

“You’re never going to improve if you don’t push yourself to try.”

I looked up in surprise as I considered that he was right.

“Point taken.” I looked back down at the slim volume in my hand. “Can I borrow this?” His brilliant smile was infectious and I couldn’t help smiling back.

“Only if you recommend one of yours.”

We snuck downstairs, trying to be quiet in case my father was still asleep. I clicked on the light in the study and Gabriel gasped in delight when he spotted the wall-to-wall bookcase full of books and manga.

I ran a finger over the titles, searching for one that I thought would grab Gabriel’s interest. Given his collection upstairs I had one in mind for him to try: a bit of fantasy and horror with exceptional art that I had read and reread since middle school.

I waited nervously as he read the blurb, but the grin that spread across his face was reassuring. I was glad; I really liked that series and I hoped he’d enjoy it too. We grabbed an armload each to carry up to his room, and settled back on his bed to read together.

Occasionally I would stop to ask Gabriel about an unfamiliar word, and I was amazed each time at how easily he explained its meaning. We were still absorbed in reading when there was a knock on the door followed by my mother stepping into the room.  

“We’re going out for dinner tonight, can you be dressed and ready by seven, please?” My mother asked, and I nodded my confirmation as I looked up from my book.

I turned to Gabriel as she left the door hanging open.

“What were you saying earlier?” I needled quietly, “Something about ‘they’d knock and wait’?”

He grinned back and shrugged. “Guess I was wrong.”

I shook my head at him and gestured to his phone.

“What’s the time now?”

He checked it, a look of surprise flitting across his face before telling me we had half an hour.

“I’d better get ready then,” I said in disappointment. I closed the book reluctantly after checking my page number.

Gabriel watched me silently as I left, and as I turned to close his door behind me I wondered what had made his eyes look so serious just now.

#

Something was wrong.

I was sitting in the backseat of the car and I turned my head slightly to watch Gabriel out of the corner of my eye. From the moment we had piled into the car to go to dinner Gabriel’s phone hadn’t left his hand and I was burning with curiosity to know who he was texting with such a serious expression on his face.

He looked up and caught me staring again, but he only smiled, stretching out his leg to slide his phone back in his pocket before he let his hand rest lightly on the seat next to his thigh.

I unconsciously imitated him, my fingertips inching along the fabric of the seat as I wished I could reach over and hold his hand.

But that was impossible in our current situation. My parents were in the front seat and had exchanged a few polite words initially but had been silent for a while now, until my father caught my eye in the mirror.

“Your mother tells me you’re starting Preparatory courses this week.” he said, his pleasure obvious as I confirmed that was the case. “Excellent. You can never be too prepared.”

The conversation continued in a stilted fashion as we approached the city, but at least it seemed to distract Gabriel from whatever had been making him look so grave.

As we turned down into the parking area I reflected that I had only been to this restaurant once before and I was glad I had a vague idea of what to expect. I suspected that my father was showing off for Gabriel’s benefit, hence the car and the extravagant dinner reservation. I sighed to myself, hoping earnestly that I didn’t drop food everywhere as I navigated a plate with a knife and fork.

I had worried needlessly, as each course had been tiny in proportion and simple to consume. Gabriel and I were seated adjacent to each other around a small square table and the floor length tablecloth was a blessing as Gabriel’s knee moved to bump mine, attracting my attention to bestow warm smiles on me throughout the meal.

“What will your major be, Gabriel?” my blood froze as I slowly looked over to my father. “Are you going to be focused on a business degree like Jin?” he waited expectantly as I held my breath, unable to look at Gabriel but hoping fervently that he wouldn’t blurt out my secret intentions at the dinner table.

“I was thinking about applying to Letters,” he said, and my jaw dropped in amazement as he continued. “I’ve been considering it for a while now and I think I’d like to try working in translation.”

My father nodded approvingly as Gabriel spoke, darting a quick look at me before speaking directly to my father again.

“My parents have always encouraged me to think about my strengths and make them work for me. By combining my passion for reading and my strong language skills I think I’ll find my niche.”

“That’s very wise, Gabriel.” My mother smiled positively and I couldn’t wipe the shocked look from my face as I felt Gabriel’s hand seek out mine under the table. He squeezed my fingers once before letting me go, but he hadn’t looked over again as he resumed eating.

I relaxed again as I took up my own knife and fork. Gabriel was full of surprises today. I wondered just how many more might be in store.

#

I had been worried that spending time with both my parents and Gabriel would be awkward and unpleasant, but to my great surprise Gabriel had continued in the same way he started, earnestly winning them over with his thoughtful and charming remarks.

By the time we were handed dessert menus I was so relaxed that it was with a jolt of surprise that I remembered the parfait we had shared earlier today. I ordered the pie a la mode and Gabriel asked for lava cake and to my great relief he ate it politely and did not once offer or ask to share.

Which, on reflection, was actually a bit disappointing; the lava cake had looked delicious.

The car ride home was significantly less awkward. Gabriel had managed to warm my parents up and, while the conversation wasn’t constant, it was at least comfortable.

My mother disappeared to draw the bath and Gabriel and I returned to his room to continue reading while we waited for our turns. I picked up the discarded volume from earlier and sat down on his bed, nervously thumbing at the corner of the book as I tried to put my thoughts into words.

“Thanks for tonight.” I finally voiced, and Gabriel looked over from where he was sitting against the headboard. “For saying those things to my parents.” I clarified, and he smiled.

“Don’t mention it.” He shrugged lightly, eyes slowly dropping back to his own book.

I watched him for a few more silent moments before I climbed up to sit back and lean on the wall. He might not think it was a big deal, but he had planted a seed in their minds that I could water, a thought that I might decide to pursue a career outside of the one they expected from me, something that played to my strengths in a way that the world of business didn’t.

I grinned as I reopened my book to dive back into the story. Maybe Gabriel was boyfriend material after all. It might be worth asking him. Just in case.

Gabriel went down for his bath first and I stayed in his room reading. I had burnt through the first few volumes and ended up having to dig in the box for the next one. He returned not long after I’d settled back in place. I couldn’t help watching him as he moved around his room getting ready for bed. He must have pulled his shirt on while still slightly damp because it was sticking to him in the most distracting way.

“Your turn,” he said, returning to the bed and lying back on his pillow, an arm thrown over his eyes to block the overhead light.

“I’ll be back then,” I told him, closing my book carefully and putting it down next to the finished pile. I didn’t waste time in the bath. I washed as quickly as I could, just getting into the water to warm up a little before climbing out to get dressed.

I found my mother in the living room and let her know that Gabriel and I were turning in for the night. Maybe it was because we’d all been able to get along so well today, but I didn’t feel as awkward as I normally did when I wished her a goodnight.

 _It’s all thanks to Gabriel_ , I thought as I climbed the stairs, automatically bypassing my room and going straight to his. I opened his door, closing it quietly behind me. The lights were already off and I padded softly over to the bed as Gabriel rolled over to watch me approach.

“Hey.” He greeted me in a quiet whisper, and I smiled as he shuffled over to make room for me.

I climbed in and sighed as his arms wrapped around me, but after pressing a kiss to my temple he said the most unexpected thing.

“I think you should probably sleep in your own room tonight.” I was hurt but I tried not to let it show in my voice as I replied. “Why? It was fine yesterday.”

“Yes, but,” he explained patiently, stroking lightly up my arm. “Getting busted by your sister is something we could handle. The stakes are a bit higher tonight, dont’cha think?”

“Maybe…” I agreed reluctantly. I was annoyed that, for once, Gabriel seemed to be the sensible one. What had got into him today?

“I don’t want you to leave.” He whispered, holding me tighter against his chest as I relaxed into him.

“I don’t want to go,” I sighed, “But I think you’re right.”

His hold on me loosened and I rolled over to face him.

“Kiss me goodnight?” I asked hopefully, and he smiled as he leaned down, one hand gently resting on my cheek as he kissed me tenderly.

“Good night, sweet Jin.”

It had never been so hard to leave before, and it was Gabriel who gently untangled us to softly whisper “ _Go_.”

 _The world must be ending_ , I thought as I reluctantly climbed to my feet, bending down to kiss him one last time. I flew back to my room without a backwards glance. The sooner my father disappeared on his next trip the better.

#

**Saturday from the other side: Hiro makes a life-changing discovery**

Most high school students looked forward to the weekend, especially Meirin students who didn’t have Saturday morning classes. Hiro was not one of those students. For as long as he could remember, Hiro had been working in his spare time to supplement his family’s low income. In years past it had been small, insignificant amounts. His ma had always been grateful, praising him for his hard work and making sure he got enough to eat every night, even if that meant she ate less than her children.

These days he was pulling in a much better living. Once he was old enough to be hired as a waiter he had applied to every family restaurant in his suburb and, through hard work and diligence, he had quickly risen to weekend floor manager. It had been a co-worker at the restaurant that had mentioned a more lucrative weekend job. Overhearing her gushing to her friends about a new butler café that was opening in the city, he had looked it up online and decided to send in an application.

No one was more surprised than him when they called him for an interview.

He had realised quickly that it really wasn’t _that_ much different to being a normal waiter. Hiro had always been polite to customers, and he found that the women and occasional men who attended the café tended to be better behaved than regular restaurant goers. There was also less mess to clean up with the absence of small children.

The uniform and speech patterns had taken some getting used to, but the hourly rate was almost three times his previous wage, and he was in no position to be picky. It was the best job he’d ever had, although if he would die of shame if anyone from school ever caught him there.

But despite how fun it could be sometimes, a job was still a job, and as he walked down the street towards the café his footsteps were slow and hesitant.

He had been getting a drink from a nearby vending machine when he spotted his friends. Cracking open the can and raising it to his lips, the shock of blond hair had caught his attention. Hiro immediately recognised the black haired head of his best friend and, after taking a quick mouthful of soda, he rushed to catch up with them.

He had been about to call out when they had suddenly disappeared down an alley. Jogging to catch up, Hiro rounded the corner expecting them to be almost out of view, but he stopped abruptly at the sight that greeted him.

Jin, his best friend of three years, his partner in crime, and closest confidant, was leaning back against the wall and, as Hiro watched, he let Gabriel kiss him.

Time stood still for a moment, like the entire world had been paused. Everything was still and quiet as Hiro witnessed his best friend kiss another boy. There was a leaden feeling in his stomach, and as he watched helplessly the drink he carried slipped and fell from his numb fingers. Making a grab for it, but only succeeding in bumping it in the air, he turned and fled, terrified of being spotted after catching them doing…whatever it was they were doing.

_Kissing._

Why were Jin and Gabriel kissing?

Retreating back to the busy street, Hiro quickly crossed the road, his mind struggling to wrap around the scene he had just witnessed.

Hiro had been pestering Jin ever since he had admitted to liking someone, and now he wondered if it had been Gabriel all this time. _Although_ , he thought, stopping in the middle of the pavement and causing a woman to swerve to avoid crashing into him, _didn’t he say last time that he was over it_? Clearly, something had happened since.

Or had Jin had been lying to him?

Shaking his head, Hiro resumed walking. It didn’t make any sense. The more he thought back over the last two weeks the more hurt he felt. It had been pretty obvious that Jin spent less time with everyone since Gabriel arrived, but never had he once thought that it might be because Jin had been interested in Gabriel like that.

He stopped walking abruptly again as the realisation hit him.

_Jin likes a guy._

Someone bumped into him but Hiro didn’t react to their murmured apology.

Had Jin always been gay?

How had he not known that incredibly important fact about his best friend?

A feeling of shame was creeping over him, the heavy feeling in his stomach twisting as Hiro leaned against a shop wall.

Since the day they had met, Hiro had always felt that Jin was the person he knew best. The friend he trusted the most. They had been through so much together. _How could Jin have kept something like this from me?_

It was a rude shock when he realised that he had been guilty of the same thing. Hiro had hidden Rei from everyone, grateful for the excuse that Rei wanted to keep it a secret in the beginning. The feeling that he couldn’t tell his friends about the relationship because it seemed embarrassing, like it was something he should feel ashamed about. Was that how Jin felt? With his eyes closed Hiro could still see them in my mind, Jin reaching for Gabriel so easily as they had melded together. They had seemed so comfortable with each other. Just how long had this been going on?

He shook his head like he could shake the image free. He felt angry, like Gabriel had overstepped a boundary that even Hiro hadn’t known was there.

He didn’t like this.

Whatever was going on between them couldn’t be a good thing, not if Jin felt like he needed to lie about it. Hiro checked his watch, noting that he had better hurry if he wanted to start his shift on time, but he knew that this wasn’t something that he could ignore. He needed to sort this out, and the sooner the better.

It plagued him all afternoon, and by the time his shift was ending he knew he had to do something or he would be up all night. He had pulled his phone out to send a message but hesitated over the contact he had yet to use, thinking about what he should say.

_“I saw you with Jin today and I want to know what is going on”_

He read it through and backspaced over the message. Too abrupt.

_“What are your intentions towards Jin?”_

That was what he wanted to know, but he deleted that too. It made him sound like an overprotective parent.

_“As Jin’s best friend I feel it is my responsibility to watch out for him, and I’m starting to think you’re a bad influence. I would prefer if you kept your distance for the remainder of the year.”_

There. He still sounded like a sitcom dad but it got his point across without making it obvious he had caught them today. He sent the message and breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he could stop thinking about it. He changed quickly, hanging up his uniform and stuffing his belongings back into his bag before heading out into the dark street.

Hiro had checked his phone obsessively for a reply as he rode the train home, but so far he had not received a response. It was possible that Gabriel hadn’t seen his message yet; it had only been an hour since he sent it, but for some reason the anxious feeling plaguing Hiro had only gotten worse since then.

 _I’ll give him another hour_ , he thought, putting his phone down and opening the nearest textbook to try and study. After hours of broken concentration, and checking that his phone was charged and that it had reception, Hiro gave up in disgust and gathered his things for a shower.  

_Still no answer._

Well that was fine. If Gabriel didn’t want to listen to him then he would just take it up with Jin directly. Honestly he had intended to talk to Jin about it anyway. He grabbed his phone, surprised to see that it was almost two in the morning.

He opened his messages again, this time pulling up Jin’s contact, and with shaking fingers he quickly sent his message.

 

 

 


	15. Sunday and Monday

**Sunday: Complications**

Waking up without Gabriel, especially now that there was nothing keeping us apart, felt like a waste. I rolled over in my too-big bed, pressing my face into my pillow and wishing over and over that my father would be disappearing again soon.

I had slept in, not bothering to set an alarm because of the weekend and I grabbed my phone to check the time.

Squinting at the bright screen, I registered that it was still relatively early for a Sunday before noticing that I had two messages from Hiro.

That was unusual. Ever since the Inoue disaster, my daily messaging with Hiro had ceased and it gave me a melancholic feeling that I had definitely drifted apart from my best friend these last two weeks.

 _Not that I haven’t gained something in that time,_ I thought as I turned my head towards the wall separating my room from Gabriel’s.  Frowning at the plaster like I could see through it if I just concentrated hard enough, I thought about the last two weeks. Gabriel had been a typhoon, a destructive force of nature that had completely upended my monotonous daily life, but deep down I still craved intimacy. I wanted a real relationship of mutual love and trust, and that goal felt impossibly far from me as I swiped open the note to read Hiro’s texts.

            - I need to talk to you and it has to be in person. Can you meet me today?

            - Alone

I stared at the words, my mind going a million miles an hour as I tried to guess what Hiro might want to talk to me about. Was it about Gabriel, and that was why I had to come alone? I thought about the way Hiro had been acting around Gabriel recently. His attitude seemed to have changed since he had come over to study. Something Gabriel had done had made Hiro re-evaluate him, and he had been more reserved around him ever since.

 _He probably thinks he’s a bad influence on me,_ I reasoned, recalling the way Hiro had spoken to him after school on Friday. And it wasn’t like he was wrong; Gabriel was definitely having an effect on me. If my father ever found out that he had encouraged me to choose my own path at uni then he would probably kick him out.

I hesitated before replying, not sure how to word my response without being sure what Hiro wanted. I also felt like I wanted to keep this a secret from Gabriel, and I wasn’t sure how I could get away without him knowing it was to meet with Hiro. When did my life get this complicated?

In the end I decided to put the burden on Hiro.

            - Ok, where and when? What should I tell Gabriel?

I hit send and clicked off the screen, chucking my phone next to my pillow as I rolled on to my side. I was surprised when he replied straight away.

            - I can come to you. Can you meet me now? At the park.”

I stared at the words, wondering how urgent this was that Hiro would get on a train and come all the way out here for a conversation.

I could sneak away now; Gabriel was most likely still asleep and that would give me some time to think of a plausible excuse for my absence. I replied, confirming that I would wait for him there. I was already half-dressed when he texted back that he would see me there soon.

I shoved my phone in my pocket, quietly opening my door. I had dressed quickly and now I brushed my teeth, taking care to be quiet before padding softly down the stairs. I could hear movement in the kitchen and my heart sank when I realised if someone was awake I should really tell them I was going out. God damn it.

I stuck my head in the kitchen, greeting my mother as she searched through the fridge.

“Oh, good morning.” She called back absently as she pulled out various breakfast ingredients.

“I’m going out for a walk, do you want anything while I’m out?” I asked, bouncing on the balls of my feet. I was anxious to get away before Gabriel woke up.

“Yes!” I was surprised when she rounded on me suddenly, pointing to my chest with a leek. “Can you pick up a newspaper for your father? He’s useless without the morning news.”

I could not believe my good luck.

“Sure, I might be an hour or so. I was planning on walking around the park for a bit.”

“I think he’ll sleep in so there’s no rush. I’ll have breakfast ready by the time you get back.”

“’k.”

I thanked my good luck, hastily pulling on my shoes and ducking fugitively across the street. I walked up the hill to my favourite spot, settling my back against the tree to wait for Hiro. I had thought I would be waiting for at least half an hour, so I was surprised when Hiro appeared within five minutes, face flushed and glistening with a light sheen of sweat.

“How did you get here so fast?” I asked him as he came to a standstill, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

“Ran from-“ he said, between deep breaths, “-the station.”

That’s odd. He must have already caught the train here.

“Must be serious. So what’s on your mind?” I asked as he sunk to the ground, legs crossed and head bowed.

“I was worried about you,” he said, head still lowered.

“I told you I’m fine,” I clasped my knees to my chest, rocking back as I watched him. “I know I’ve been a bit weird lately but there’s really nothing to worry about.”

Hiro finally looked at me as I continued.

“And trust me: the drinking thing? I’ve learnt my lesson.” I grinned at him, but it faded as his serious look didn’t abate. “What’s wrong, Hiro?” I asked. Clearly this was about something else.

“What’s going on between you and Gabriel?” he asked point blank, and I froze, unable to answer or look away.

“N-nothing. What do you mean?” I stammered, trying to make my face reflect “politely puzzled” but no doubt doing “shocked and horrified”.

“I saw you,” he said quietly, gaze dropping again as he fidgeted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “In the city. Yesterday,” he added.

This could be bad. We did an awful lot of hand-holding yesterday. My best bet was probably the mistaken identity card. It was a big city after all.

“The city? Yesterday?”

I wanted to say “Couldn’t have been me, I was home all day.” But I couldn’t get the lie to pass my lips. Silence fell as I hesitated and I was startled when Hiro’s face flushed red again.  

“You were _kissing him_ ,” he said in a horrified whisper, and I felt my stomach drop.

_Oh shit._

Hiro must hate me now. He was looking away after dropping his bombshell, and rather than see how disappointed in me he was I hid my face behind my arms.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, and I shook my head, too mortified to respond. “Jin.” His voice was clearer now, and steadier. “I just want to know what’s going on.”

“Are you going to tell everyone now?” I mumbled into my chest.

“Tell them? Jin, what-?”

I looked up, relieved that he was at least looking at me again.

“That I like guys!” I said, watching Hiro’s eyes go wide.

“And you like Gabriel, is that it?” I couldn’t answer him. “Are you…” he hesitated; I could see him swallow before continuing. “Are you going out with him?”

 I shook my head.

“No, it’s not like that.”

“But I _saw_ you-“

“We just-“

I cut myself off abruptly. It was bad enough that Hiro knew I had been kissing Gabriel. If I _was_ in a real relationship with Gabriel then at least I would have something to defend. I would have been able to tell him that I was happy and that I hoped he could understand. As it was, I couldn’t admit that Gabriel and I were essentially just fuck buddies, no sappy love confessions or promises in the future for us. I was going to have to lie.

“It was just that one time.” Tears had gathered in my eyes and I brushed at them impatiently as I lied to my best friend. “It didn’t mean anything. We’re not dating. He just understands, that’s all.”

My heart was breaking all over again as I spun a web of lies. I was surprised that the part that hurt the most was voicing that it didn’t mean anything. To Gabriel I was sure it didn’t, but I had realised long ago that my heart was fully invested in the tenuous bond we had.

“I’m sorry.” Hiro’s voice had grown softer, and I risked a look up at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t know, Jin. I wish you’d told me.”

Hiro stood up and pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around me and patted me gently on the back as my silent tears soaked into his shoulder.

“You’re my best friend Jin. You’re supposed to be able to tell me anything.” I had reached up hesitantly to grab fistfuls of Hiro’s shirt as he started to rub my back soothingly. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore if I knew?”

I choked on a sob, shoulders still shaking as my tears fell. 

“It’s okay.” He soothed, “I’ll always be here for you Jin.”

My fingers tightened in his shirt as he moved to gently push me back, one hand reaching up to swipe at my tear-streaked face with his thumb.

“Look at you.” His smile was kind as he gently chastised me. “It’s nothing to cry over.”

I felt my lower lip tremble as another flood of tears splashed down my cheeks. Hiro’s eyes had held mine in a steady look, kind and open and impossibly gentle, but then they dropped lower and with a start I realised his gaze was now on my lips.

Surprised, my fresh onslaught of tears stopped and I licked my lips as I darted a look between his eyes, still lowered, and his own slightly parted lips.

Hiro grazed his thumb over my cheek again, palm cupping my jaw as he pulled me gently towards him, tilting my face and pressing our lips together briefly.

I was too stunned to react and didn’t resist when he pulled away again after a few seconds.

“See? It’s just a kiss, no big deal.”

I was staring at him in silent shock.

“But you still shouldn’t kiss just anyone, okay?” His eyes searched mine for a second before he added, “Save it for someone you love.” And then he was hugging me again briefly. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow. And remember, I’m your best friend, ok? You can talk to me.” He smiled brightly with the force of a sun, and I let go of the shirt I was holding as he turned around and jogged back down the hill.

I watched him until he disappeared on the path below, the trees obscuring his figure as he returned to the street. I sank back to the ground, lying flat in the grass and staring blankly into the blossom-less branches above me.

Hiro had just kissed me.

True, he had said it was no big deal, and it had barely been more than a brush of lips, but the point was that _Hiro_ had _kissed me._ I had been so worried that he wouldn’t want to be my friend after he found out about me, but it turned out the thing he seemed most bothered by was that I might have liked _Gabriel_. He didn’t care that I was gay.

I sat bolt upright. This changed things, didn’t it? Hiro was ok with me liking guys.

It was a lot to take in, and there was no way I was going to work through it all this morning. I stood up again, brushing my clothes off and slowly descending the hill.  I had made it all the way back to my front door before I realised I’d forgotten to buy the newspaper.

“Jin, is that you?” I followed the voice to the kitchen and watched my mother stirring the miso on the stove.

“Sorry I didn’t get the paper; I forgot my wallet.” It was actually the truth. In my haste to dress this morning I hadn’t bothered with accessories, and I had been so grateful for a legitimate excuse that I hadn’t stopped to think I would need money for the paper.

“That’s ok; your father is going into the office this morning anyway.”

“On a Sunday?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe and marvelling at how I was having a perfectly normal conversation even though the entire world had just changed.

“Yes, a debriefing about Italy. Breakfast will be ready in another fifteen or so.” She hadn’t even looked up from the soup yet. “And would you please let Gabriel know breakfast will be ready soon? He hasn’t been down yet this morning.”

I nodded, pushing myself upright again and walking upstairs mechanically. I knocked on Gabriel’s door but went straight in without waiting, closing the door softly behind me. He was still asleep, and I felt my stomach twist with guilt as I watched his peaceful face.

“Gabriel,” I called softly.

_I kissed Hiro._

“Gabriel,” I said a little louder, moving closer to rock his shoulder.

_I cheated on you with Hiro._

“Wake up, ma cooked breakfast.”

 He started to stretch and I moved back to avoid his arms reaching overhead.

“Hey,” he smiled lazily up at me, eyes twinkling behind dark lashes and my heart jumped into my throat.

“Come down when you’re ready,” I said again, and I slowly turned to go. I stopped when Gabriel’s hand closed around my wrist, and I let him pull me to the bed as he sat up and curled his arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides as he cradled me to his chest.

“How did you sleep without me?” he asked, nuzzling into my neck. I squirmed uncomfortably and I hoped he would just assume that he was tickling me.

“Fine,” I replied evasively, and he made a sound of mock indignation.

“ _Fine?_ ” he repeated incredulously. “Nice to know you missed me then.” He laughed to let me know he was joking, and I let myself relax in his arms. I felt so guilty I was sure it must be written all over my face but Gabriel was exactly the way he always was. “I couldn’t sleep without you,” He confessed softly, and I twisted so I could see his face.

Gabriel reached up to run his fingers through my hair, drifting around my ear and coming to settle on my jaw exactly where Hiro had been touching me less than fifteen minutes ago.

I panicked as he began to lean in. I couldn’t kiss him on the lips now, not just after I had kissed Hiro. It seemed wrong, and I was surprised that I felt such a strong sense of guilt about betraying Gabriel. In a panic I twisted out of his hold and pushed him back on the bed. A look of hurt confusion flashed across his face and I moved quickly, climbing up next to him and leaning down to kiss his neck, moving slowly down his bare chest with soft, open-mouthed kisses.

I heard Gabriel gasp softly when I reached his nipple and I swirled my tongue around the sensitive nub before closing my lips over it and sucking gently.

I kissed my way over to the other side, performing the same actions as Gabriel smoothed his hands over me, rubbing up my arms before tangling briefly in my hair. I continued to move downwards, dragging the sheet where it was pooled around his waist to reveal his hard length.

I took my time getting to it, kissing slowly down his belly and around the base, waiting until he was frenzied with desire before I finally closed my lips over the weeping tip. He sighed deeply as I pressed my tongue flat against him, hollowing my cheeks and wrapping my hand around the base to pump him into my mouth.

I slid my hand between his legs, marvelling at how readily they parted for me as I stroked him there. My eyes closed as I concentrated on pleasuring him, lips and tongue pulling at him as I worked him until he was bucking up into my mouth.

I could tell he was getting close already and I took him deeper, pumping faster as I felt the contraction of his release. I swallowed around him, eyes stinging as the bitter taste flooded my mouth. I slowed to a stop as I worked him through his orgasm, slowly pulling him from my lips and licking the last drizzle of come from his slit before sitting back and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

I had thought Gabriel had been unusually quiet, and I could see now that he had pulled the pillow over his face, only letting it fall away now as all the tension left his body.

I pulled the sheet back up over his thighs and dropped it so it covered him again before sliding down to lie half over his chest. I closed my eyes and relaxed as he began to play with my hair, one hand carding lazily through it as the other smoothed small circles over my shoulder blades.

“What did I do to deserve a morning BJ?” He asked, and I shrugged, sinking further into him as his tender touches relaxed me.

“Nothing. You owe me one,” I told him flatly.

He laughed, chest rumbling beneath me and I couldn’t help but smile as he pulled me over him more firmly, pressing kisses to my temple as he cradled my head to his chest.  

It had become so easy, being with Gabriel. I knew there were still hidden parts of him I didn’t know, but I also felt a lot closer to him lately. We had fun together; we could make each other laugh, and he clearly felt that he could trust me enough to open up to me a bit. But if he couldn’t make a commitment to me then it was all doomed to failure in the long run. I might as well cut and run now. The sooner my heart was broken, the more time it would have to heal.

But did my heart have to break? As I pulled Gabriel from the warm sheets and told him to dress for breakfast, I reflected that things were definitely changing between us lately. Sometimes he felt so close, like I was finally touching his heart. I just needed a bit more courage before I felt ready to tackle that conversation again.

#

Breakfast with my parents was less awkward then I remembered our past family meals. I always found it embarrassing that they could treat each other the way they did, with zero affection and little interest in anything the other was doing, but having Gabriel around seemed to give them something in common to focus on and the conversation was less stilted than normal.

Gabriel had sat next to me and my entire body was hyper aware of his presence. In a continuation of his new Sensible Gabriel character he wasn’t teasing me or acting inappropriately as he asked my father politely about his work. In fact, on reflection, he had behaved like a perfect gentleman in front of both my parents and Hikari. He only really teased when they were out of sight.

Lost in my own thoughts, I was startled when Gabriel nudged me with an elbow and I realised my father had been speaking to me.

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked what your plans were for the day.”

“Oh.” I darted a quick look at Gabriel as I replied. “We might head into the city again, show Gabriel the sights.”

My father nodded approvingly, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. If he had any idea about the things we got up to while seeing the sights he would blow a fuse.

I offered to clear the table and started the sink running to do the dishes. Doing household chores was the easiest way to get on my mother’s good side and I wanted her happy rather than asking me about the dirty laundry found in my room. It also excused me from having to make conversation with my father. So: two birds, one stone.

When I returned to the kitchen with the last of the dishes I saw to my surprise that Gabriel had pushed his long sleeves up to the elbow and was gingerly washing a plate, dabbing at the ceramic surface delicately with the sponge. I watched him in silent shock for a few moments before I burst out laughing. The offended look he turned on me just made me smile wider.

“You’re supposed to be cleaning it,” I said, stepping over and grabbing the hand that held the sponge. “ _Tickling_ it isn’t going to do anything.”

I tried to put more pressure on the plate, but he was holding it too limply. I slid my left arm around him to hold the plate steady and demonstrated the appropriate force with which to clean a plate.

“See? You have to scrub harder.”

I suddenly realised that I was pressed up very close to Gabriel and saying things like “harder” in his ear and I dropped my hands, stepping back and turning away to grab a tea towel.

“I’ll dry,” I said, waiting for him to hand me a soapy plate. We continued to wash the dishes in awkward silence. I watched Gabriel set the last dish in the draining rack and pull the plug, flicking the excess water from his hands before drying his palms on his jeans.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” he asked, turning to lean against the counter as I picked up another plate to dry.

“Anything you like I suppose.” I thought over the places we had planned to visit but didn’t get around to yesterday. “There’s still the Manga museum and we didn’t go to the cinema.” I started, but I fell silent as the sound of my father calling out his goodbyes from the front door.

“Your ma’s going out soon too,” Gabriel said quietly, and I bit my lip as I put the last dried dish away.

“We don’t have to go out,” I said hesitantly, looking up for confirmation that this was what Gabriel was getting at. My answer was a brilliant smile as he reached for the tea towel to pull me closer. “We can tour the study again. That’s kinda like a manga museum.”

I let myself be pulled towards him, his arm going around my waist as his lips gently met mine. I melted into his chest, tea towel sliding through my fingers as Gabriel lifted it up and tossed it over his shoulder. The gentle pressure of his mouth parted my lips and as his tongue began to gently stroke against mine I suddenly pulled away.

“I kissed Hiro.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Gabriel was still holding me close and I tried to twist myself free but he held me fast, eyes wide as they searched mine.

“What?” he sounded confused, unsure, like he didn’t quite trust that he had heard me right. I could understand. It was the most unlikely sentence for me to have uttered, and I couldn’t quite believe it myself. I hadn’t even meant to, but the guilty feeling that had settled in my stomach had only gotten heavier as the morning wore on. Before I could stop them more words had slipped out.

“This morning,” I couldn’t meet his gaze anymore and I turned my face away as I continued. “Hiro sent me a text. He saw us kissing yesterday and he came and asked about it and then he kissed me and said it was no big deal and-“ I knew I was babbling but the words just kept bubbling out of me until a sob cut me off. I glanced up, drawing back at the angry look that had settled on Gabriel’s face.

I was flinching and turning away to pull free just as I heard my mother calling out from the hall. Frozen on the spot, it was Gabriel who brushed past me to the kitchen doorway, leaning out into the hall to confirm that no, we would probably not be going out, yes we’d find our own lunch, and ok we’d see her when she got back later this afternoon.

I hid gratefully in the kitchen as I waited for the sound of the front door being pulled shut and Gabriel returned, sliding his arms around me and pulling me back into his chest as the occasional silent sob still wracked my chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and I shook my head firmly. He sighed and I could feel his chest expand and deflate again. “Let’s go upstairs then and you can not tell me what happened.”

I laughed in spite of myself; an abrupt hiccoughing sound and Gabriel squeezed me tighter for a second before releasing me. He followed me silently upstairs and I bypassed my room, stopping at Gabriel’s door in surprise when I noticed he wasn’t behind me anymore.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked, and he shook off his confusion, quickly crossing with a few long strides the distance between my door and his.

I crawled gratefully into his bed, pulling the sheet up over me and breathing in the scent of Gabriel on his pillow. My eyes were firmly closed but I could tell that Gabriel had sat on the edge of the bed. I stretched my legs out to feel him, pressing my toes into his thigh.

“I don’t know what happened,” I mumbled into the pillow, and I felt Gabriel begin to massage my calf lightly, thumb smoothly stroking as his hand warmed me through the sheet.

“I think I do,” he said, and I looked over at him in surprise. He met my gaze and I swallowed. He looked serious and almost…sad? “You should tell Hiroki how you really feel.”

I ducked my head back down to the pillow to hide.

There was no way I could tell Hiroki I had been falling in love with Gabriel, not after I’d just denied having feelings for him.

_But maybe I should tell Gabriel._

“Hiroki might not be quite as straight as I thought,” Gabriel continued, and I watched in confusion as Gabriel got out his phone, “he sent me this last night.”

I kept my head cushioned on the pillow as he found what he was looking for and held it out so I could read the text. Frowning at the words on the screen, I read the message while Gabriel scrubbed a hand over his face, eyes watching me in a sidelong glance.

“I’ve been wondering about it since you guys hung out while Inoue was away.” Gabriel had dropped the phone next to me and I picked it up to re-read the message. I noticed that Gabriel hadn’t replied. “I think Hiroki might have some unexplored feelings for you.”

I shook my head, pushing the phone down the mattress towards him.

“No way.” I said emphatically.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” he asked as I pulled the sheet over my head.

“Because it’s Hiro!” I shouted from under my protective layer. “He’s going out with Inoue!”

“So? I’ve kissed girls. Doesn’t mean I don’t like kissing boys too.”

“I still think you’re wrong.”

I could hear the shrug in his voice as he replied.

“I might be. You won’t know unless you ask.”

“Gabriel.” I sat up, pushing the sheet down to crawl over to him. “Kiss me.”

He looked at me sideways, hesitation written all over his face.

“I’m sorry I kissed Hiro,” I said earnestly. “Really it was more like a peck. Like this.” I leant forward and pressed my closed lips against his in an imitation of Hiro’s kiss. “See? He didn’t mean anything by it.” I crawled onto his lap, straddling him as I locked my arms around his neck. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt his arms go around me. “I felt so guilty because I’d specially asked you not to do things with other people and then I let that happen.”

I forced a smile on my face as I looked at him.

“Forgive me?” I asked, and I held my breath as I waited for his response.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said quickly. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

I melted into him as he pulled me closer to kiss him, sliding my knees further apart to sink lower as I kissed down his neck, dragging his shirt down to reveal more skin. Gabriel moaned as I rubbed at his nipple through the fabric and I leaned back to lift his shirt from him, dropping it to the floor as I dove back down to lave at the exposed nub.

Hands were caressing my back, sliding firmly up and lifting my shirt to slip under and press against my bare skin. I felt Gabriel twitching to life, his cock rising to press into me as I rocked my hips over him with just a light touch that denied him any true friction.

“ _Tease_.” Gabriel groaned, bucking up under me to search for relief.

I pulled back, lips twisting into a smirk as I placed a hand in the middle of his bare chest and pushed him flat on the bed.

“I’m just getting started.” I told him, the sultry tone of my voice almost taking _me_ by surprise, but the look on Gabriel’s face was keeping me grounded. Everything I was doing was well-received, that much was obvious. I slid backwards, deliberately dragging myself over his tented pants as I stepped down off the bed. 

Reaching down to slip the button of his jeans open I looked up to catch his eye as I unzipped his fly. He had raised his head to watch me and I licked my lips, enjoying the way it made his chest hitch with his sharp intake of breath.

He let me slip his jeans from him and I glided both them and his boxers down his legs, gently lifting each foot free. Gabriel had grabbed a pillow to stuff under his head and I locked eyes with him again as I placed a palm on each knee, pushing them further apart and slowly sliding my hands up his legs.

As I reached the apex of his thighs I dropped my gaze to his erection standing tall, twitching for attention, which I happily gave it. With the lightest touch, I dragged my fingertips down his length, closing my mouth over the tip and gently, carefully, sucking his foreskin.

I flicked a gaze back up to check his reaction. As I watched, he reached down to hold himself firmly for me, and I swirled my tongue around him as he pulled down to unsheathe the swollen head. The first press of my tongue in his slit elicited a gasp and I looked up to see that he had dropped his head back to the pillow, eyes closed in bliss as I teased him with tongue and lips.

His fist had begun a slow drag and I laved at him matching his pace for a few counts before hollowing my cheeks to suck on him.

“ _Jiiiin_ ,” he called, drawing out the syllable on a long breath. “Oh god, Jin, that feels amazing.”

I smiled around his cock, releasing him gently as I pulled away.  

“Come out a little bit,” I encouraged, hands under his knees as I urged him to slide closer to the edge of the bed. He complied and I stood up to rearrange his pillow, leaning down to kiss him as he settled his head back down. It was hard to pull away again; Gabriel hands were holding me in place as he licked into my mouth. I turned away and Gabriel immediately switched to kissing along my jaw.

“Are you comfortable?” I asked, nervousness twisting in my stomach as Gabriel settled back on the pillow.

“Very,” he replied, and he let me pull away as I climbed back off the bed.

I watched him as I sunk back between his open legs, shifting forwards until my knees were under the bed. Gabriel must have known exactly what was coming because he lifted his feet off the floor to rest his heels on the bedframe as I raised my hands to touch him.

He was already spread open for me and I pressed my finger down on the smooth skin between his legs, stroking down over his twitching hole. Replacing my finger with my tongue, I could feel him begin to tremble as I licked him slowly.

I slid my hands under him to lift him higher off the mattress. Locking my lips around him, I sucked gently and couldn’t help the smile that broke my suction when he swore loudly.

“Jesus fucking Christ Jin!” I moved back, staying low to avoid his gaze in case he was watching, but I rubbed him gently with my finger as he continued. “Don’t stop! Please.”

I moved back in, closing my mouth over him and cutting him off as I began to suck gently at him again.

“Do that aga-“ He couldn’t finish, his sentence devolving into wordless cries that sounded muffled as I probed at him with my tongue, feeling the muscle soften and relax under my tender caresses.

This was definitely helping to get him ready, but I knew I would need to stretch him further if I didn’t want to hurt him. I felt a thrill of excitement as I realised just how close I was to fucking Gabriel.

I broke contact, rocking back to sit on my heels to admire my handiwork. Gabriel was pink and soft, and when I slid my finger lightly over him it seemed like he wanted to suck me in.

I pressed a kiss to the inside of each thigh before I pulled myself to my feet.

“Stay there,” I told him bossily before marching over to the bedside to retrieve the lube. My jeans had become uncomfortably tight and I took this moment to quickly divest myself of my own clothes.

As I returned I noticed that Gabriel had pulled the pillow out from under his head and was holding it over his face with both hands held flat on top of it. I dropped the lube next to his thigh and leaned over to grab the pillow.

“None of that,” I said, pulling it away and throwing to towards the head of the bed.

I picked up the lube and poured some out into my hand.

“You have to watch and tell me if I’m doing it right,” I said as I went back down on my knees.

Gabriel had covered his eyes, hands pressed to his face before he rose back up to prop himself on his elbows.

“Good boy,” I told him, smiling as that pulled another moan from him. I hadn’t even touched him yet. I had been rubbing my fingers together, warming the lube as I coated them and now I slid the tip of my finger from his sack down to his waiting entrance, rubbing it in a small circle before I began to press in slowly.

“ _Yes._ ”

I flicked my eyes up to check Gabriel’s reaction as he spoke, but quickly looked back to watch as my finger disappeared into Gabriel. There was the barest trace of resistance and soon I was buried to the knuckle. I moved slowly, feeling out his insides. The soft heat that wrapped around me was wonderful and I curled my finger slowly, searching for the bundle of nerves that I knew would soon have Gabriel writhing for me again.

I felt it under the pad of my finger and I pressed into it, reaching up to take hold of his dick and pump slowly in time with my finger. 

“Fuck Jin _yes_!” Gabriel had dropped back to the mattress again, legs trembling around me as I slid out to add a second finger.

I felt more resistance this time and I slowed down to allow him to stretch around me, giving him time to adjust fully before I started to move again.

One foot slid from the bed frame and I let go of his cock to lift his leg over my shoulder. His hand had automatically reached down to replace mine around his cock and I slid my hand under his ass to hold him up as I added a third finger.

I felt him grip around my bunched fingers, muscle sucking me in as I slowly stroked him to insanity.

I had been ignoring my own cock out of necessity. I didn’t have a free hand with which to touch myself, and even if I did I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate fully if I was being taken care of in a similar manner, so I had been content to wait my turn. That is, until I felt Gabriel sit up, sliding his leg off my shoulder as he reached for me.

“Fuck me,” He said, no trace of embarrassment on his face as he looked me in the eyes. With a flick of my fingers I had him on his back again, chest heaving as he called for me again. “ _Please_ Jin, I can’t wait any longer.”

He couldn’t possibly ask any nicer than that.

I withdrew my fingers slowly, lowering him back to the bed as I moved to get a condom. Watching Gabriel falling apart and knowing that it was because of what I was doing was the only thing that was allowing me to stay so controlled. It was fun to tease him, and as I stopped at the bedside to pick up the strip I turned slightly so that Gabriel could watch me slowly bend the foil squares, tearing carefully along the perforation.

His long frustrated moan brought a smile to my face and when I glanced over he chuckled darkly at me.

“You’re a bastard,” He said, our smiles each growing wider as I turned to the bed.

“Come up here,” I patted the bed and Gabriel was moving as quickly as he could to comply, sitting up and crawling over to me. “Lie down,” I urged, hands gently guiding him to lie back, propping up the pillows to support him. I tucked the corner of the foil square between my teeth as I turned to grab the lube from the end of the bed.

“You’re so goddamn sexy,” Gabriel sighed, bending his knees and reaching down to stroke himself as he watched me crawl towards him. I smiled wordlessly, settling back on my heels between his parted legs as I carefully tore the condom wrapper open. I quickly rolled it on, pouring out more lube and matching Gabriel’s pace as I stroked to coat myself.

“Are you ready?” I asked, a little hesitant now that I was finally here.

“Yes! Hurry up!”

I smiled at his enthusiasm, which was definitely making this easier for me. Gabriel helped me by lifting his hips and I spread my slicked fingers against him, feeling how soft for me he had become.

“Stop teasing Jin, please.” He bucked up impatiently and I held myself steady, lining the tip up and rubbing it against him. “Please, I want you in me.” Gabriel bucked again and I slipped inside, moaning at the sensation of his wet heat engulfing me. “Yes! More!” Gabriel cried as I began to push into him, marvelling at the feeling of his soft walls gripping me and pulling me in deeper.

My knees slid further apart as I gripped his hips, pulling him down on to me even as I pushed forward. In just a few seconds I had slid all the way in and I fell forwards, pressing kisses across Gabriel’s chest as I sucked in deep breaths.

This had been worth waiting for. It was so hot, so tight. I was waiting for him to adjust as much as I was trying to regain my own self-control.

I braced my hands against the mattress to sit up, watching Gabriel as his chest rose and fell with the effort of breathing. His hands had fallen to the bed and were resting palm up by the pillows and I reached for them now, locking my fingers through his as he squeezed my hands in reply. His eyes fluttered open, dark with desire, as he bucked his hips up, and I took that as my cue to move. With my wrists locked I began a steady pace, pumping into him with a rock of my hips that he matched.

“God Jin that feels so good.”

He stretched up for a kiss and I bent my elbows to reach him, each slide of my hips becoming longer and more drawn out at the lower angle.

“You feel good too,” I told him between kisses, and with a burst of confidence I pushed against him, pressing him back into the pillows as I nudged his head to the side to reach his neck. “You’re so hot around my cock.” I whispered.

My voice was strained but the effect my words had on Gabriel was immediate as he locked his legs around me, bucking faster. I sped up to match the new pace as I nosed at his neck, enjoying the whimpering sounds he made as I teased him with a light scrape of teeth, kissing and licking down to the fading bruise on his shoulder.

This was _intense_.

I had imagined this so many times but I hadn’t been prepared for just how overwhelming it felt to be buried in Gabriel.

I wasn’t going to last much longer, but I _needed_ Gabriel to come first.

“Gabriel,” I breathed against his neck, pressing my tongue against the hickey and feeling his reaction in the loss of rhythm in his hips. “Gabriel, I’m so close.” Hands squeezed mine tightly before pulling free to reach up, stroking up my back and pulling me closer. “It’s so hot, so tight,” I could feel his cock pressing into my stomach, leaking tip making my skin slick as it rubbed between us. “I’m glad you were my first,” I whispered, before sucking over the bruise as Gabriel cried out.

I felt Gabriel squeeze down around me, walls fluttering around my cock as hot spurts slicked my stomach. The sensations had pulled me over the edge and I pushed upright with a cry as I snapped my hips into him, coming to a shuddering stop after riding out my orgasm.

For a moment I sat still, one arm up to cover my eyes as I drew deep gulping breaths, my pulse racing in the aftermath of our exertions. Soon strong arms were pulling me back down, Gabriel’s legs locked behind me keeping me in place as he kissed me.   

“You’re perfect,” He whispered against my lips, and I felt like the tide was pulling me out to sea as his hands rubbed circles over my back, whispering over and over again “You’re perfect,” “So perfect”.

As relaxing as it was to lie on Gabriel’s chest being quietly adored I desperately wanted a shower, or at the very least to get clean. I could feel the sticky mess caking my stomach and I pushed up to my elbows, pressing a kiss to Gabriel’s shoulder as I did so he knew I wasn’t abandoning him. Reaching down to hold the condom on my softening cock I pulled out slowly. I saw Gabriel’s hips shift and heard his small sigh. I smiled to myself, knowing exactly how satisfying that felt. I climbed off of him and disposed of the condom before retrieving the wet wipes.

Gabriel’s hands had slid from me as I moved and fallen by his sides, and as I turned back to the bed I could see he was watching me through half-lidded eyes.

I knew I was a mess and my cheeks flushed as I kneeled beside him, beginning to clean him carefully. Despite my bashfulness I couldn’t help the grin tugging at my lips as I realised I would need to wipe out his belly button this time and I saved that for last. It took five wipes to cover everything but finally I had finished and pressed a kiss to his soft, clean belly.

“Your turn,” Gabriel said, sitting up as I tossed the last wipe in the bin. He guided me to lie back and I held the packet up for him as he took a few wipes and began to gently wipe me.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed, and I felt my eyes widen in surprise as I looked up at him. ‘Beautiful’ was not a complement I often received, and I told him so. He just shook his head at me, a smile twitching at his lips. “Well you are.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that so I remained silent as he continued cleaning me. Once he had me spotless again he collapsed beside me, one arm heavy across my chest as he curled into my side. I reached up to touch his arm gently as my mind raced. This was a perfect moment to tell him. I could just turn my head, press closer to his ear and whisper, “ _I love you_.”

It would take two seconds.

 _Come on, just do it!_ I thought to myself furiously, my heart in my throat as I concentrated on breathing normally.

But Gabriel was already moving, rolling away to stretch, and I mentally berated myself for wasting my opportunity.

“Was that…okay?” I asked, hating the way my voice came out sounding hesitant. Gabriel was looking back over at me and smiling reassuringly before patting the bed next to him. I shuffled over and let him pull me towards him, moulding my back to his chest as he wrapped and arm around me firmly.

“Fucking _incredible_.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say what I truly wanted but from the swirling storm of thoughts currently plaguing me I was at least able to draw on something to mention.

“Did you mean what you said last night about working in translation?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” Gabriel sounded a bit distant, like I had brought him back from miles away.

“What do you want to translate?”

“Maybe manga. Light novels. Stuff I like reading.” I nodded and relaxed as Gabriel continued, fingers trailing lightly up my arm and down my chest as he spoke. “I want to help spread Japanese culture and make the stories I like more accessible to a wider audience.”

“Since when?”

“Since always, really. I used to translate manga for my friends at school until they started asking for entire series.” He chuckled and I could feel the rumble where we were connected. “That’s when I switched to buying the English versions to loan out.”

“So Letters is the right place for you anyway.” I commented, a feeling of disappointment stealing over me as I recalled the way he had said last week he would apply wherever I applied.

“Yeah, seems like it.” I was annoyed with myself for feeling this way. I had been really happy to think that Gabriel was applying just so he could stay close to me. I knew it was unrealistic, Gabriel would probably be finished with me by the time we would be graduating, but for the moment I didn’t care.

I disentangled myself from Gabriel’s embrace and I kept my gaze averted as I got up to locate my clothes.

“Jin?” his voice sounded so unsure that I couldn’t help but look back at him. “Something wrong?”

“No,” I answered far too quickly. “Just cold.”

“Hmm.”

I picked up Gabriel’s shirt and threw it at him and I was relieved when he laughed, pulling it down from where it had landed over his head and sitting up to pull it on.

“What should we do with our last day of freedom?” he asked, and I shrugged.

“Whatever you want. I don’t care.” _As long as I spend it with you._

Gabriel reached for his phone and checked the time.

“It’s almost lunchtime. Wanna go out?”

It took me a moment before I could reply, his phrasing making my heart skip in a way that I was almost used to by now.

“…sure.”

#

We didn’t go far for lunch. Neither of us were particularly hungry so we just hung out at a café in the station eating cake while Gabriel imbibed his daily dose of caffeine.

I had worried that things might feel awkward between us but to my surprise I was feeling at ease with Gabriel. As we waited for our coffees Gabriel had reached over the table and I had pressed my palm against his, smiling helplessly when his fingers intertwined with mine. I didn’t even pull my hand away when the waitress delivered our order, although I was unable to meet her eye as she arranged our food on the table.

Gabriel had hardly stopped talking all morning, going on at length about everything from the manga I had lent him to starting prep tomorrow. I was grateful for the distraction, and by the time we had left the events from earlier this morning with Hiro felt like the distant past.

“We’re home!” I called out, toeing my shoes off and nudging them to the side as I stepped up into the hall. No answer. Where was everybody?

There was an envelope on the fridge and I hardly dared to hope as I opened it, but I was greeted with the sight I wanted the most: an excuse and a wad of cash.

            - I’ll be out late tonight, please sort out dinner for yourself and Gabriel. Your father is attending the Osaka branch until Wednesday.

I waved the note at Gabriel as he followed me into the kitchen.

“House to ourselves!” I announced, taking out the cash and splitting it.

“Here,” I pressed half the bundle into his hand and he pushed it back, an alarmed look on his face.

“No, that’s yours.”

I shrugged. “I don’t need it all. They’re always doing this.”

He had pushed the cash back so I dropped my hand, reaching around to tuck it into his back pocket as I distracted him by handing him the note to read.

“Hey, do you want to go out for dinner?” I asked suddenly, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked.

“Nothing fancy.” I clarified, “Yakiniku? We can invite everyone.”

“Yeah, let’s see if they’re available. That sounds like fun.” He agreed quickly and I watched him silently for a moment. It would be good to get everyone together, and I had more than enough to treat everyone to dinner.

As I typed an invitation I was reminded vividly of last week, Hiro’s last minute dating party plan, and the aftermath that train wreck had caused. I hit send and looked up at Gabriel who was watching me carefully.

“You ok?” he asked, taking me by surprise as I slid my phone back into my pocket.

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, then, “Listen, I think I’ll tell everyone the truth tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hiro knows now. That I like guys, I mean. The thing that always held me back from confessing was the fear that my friends might reject me.”

Gabriel’s face was carefully blank as I hesitantly explained.

“But Hiro was so supportive, I feel like if he can accept me then the others might too. And even if they don’t,” I shrugged, “At least I’ll still have Hiro.”

“That’s very brave, Jin. I’m-” He stopped, avoiding my gaze as he continued. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” I grinned. “Come on, I’m only up to book six and I have to know what happens next.”

I was relieved when Gabriel smiled again and we spent the rest of the afternoon being lazy, sharing aloud sections of dialogue and laughing together.

By half past five everyone had messaged me back to say they would be at dinner and I slid off Gabriel’s bed, noting my page number as I closed my book.

“Where are you going?” Gabriel was watching me, his book lowered to his lap.

“To get changed. I have no idea what to wear tonight.”

“Need help again?” He asked, book tossed aside as he climbed to his feet.

“If you want…” I replied hesitantly, but he was already moving to his closet.

“Hang on, I’ve got the perfect jacket for you.”

I turned to watch as he extracted a bomber jacket, swinging around to hold it up to me. I reached out to touch the sleeve; the leather was soft and the colour was a deep red.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous.” I said, fiddling with the zips on the front.

“Try it on. I’ll bet it suits you better than me.”

I slipped it on over my t-shirt and I couldn’t stop touching it, smoothing my hands down the front and tugging at the collar.

“Wow Gabriel.” I turned to admire it in the mirror. “Can I really wear this tonight?”

“Keep it. It doesn’t really fit me anymore, I was just hanging on to it for nostalgia,” he called over his shoulder, already digging through his clothes again.

“I can’t keep it,” I told him, cheeks flushing as I spun around to watch him. “I’ll just borrow it.”

He shrugged, straightening up as he turned back to me.

“Here, this too.” He was holding out a black t-shirt and I took it from him, folding it over my arm.

“Thanks. I might go down and shower first,” I told him, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

“Sure,” Gabriel said brightly, and I turned to go. Honestly his moods were all over the place today. I was having trouble keeping up.

I stopped by my room quickly. I had shrugged out of the jacket and I crushed it to my chest briefly before laying it on my bed. It was beautiful. A quick search of my room turned up a pair of jeans and fresh underwear, with those and the shirt Gabriel had loaned me I skipped down the stairs to the bathroom.

_I’m nervous._

I sat under the shower spray, scrubbing my skin until it was pink for a distraction as my stomach churned uncomfortably.

 _You’ll be fine_ , I told myself sternly. _They’re your friends and they love you, there’s nothing to be scared of._

I dried off; the butterflies in my stomach still making me feel ill as I dressed. Once I’d fastened my jeans I grabbed Gabriel’s shirt and slid it over my head. Instantly, the scent of Gabriel filled my nose, that warm and sweet scent of cinnamon that had been one of the first things I’d noticed about him two whole weeks ago when he’d pinned me to the ground and changed my entire life.

I smiled, lifting the fabric up to inhale deeply.

_Everything was going to be fine._

I stopped by my room to grab the jacket, sliding it on and checking my appearance in the mirror. I looked good, but not perfect. I headed next door to ask Gabriel if he’d do my hair again. I stopped dead in his doorway when I spotted him.

“Woah.”

He turned around, his surprised look quickly morphing into a grin when he spotted me standing dumbfounded in the doorway.

“Surprised?” he said teasingly, spinning on the spot before striking a pose. “I can be a hottie too.”

I gulped, eyes raking over his hair, low-necked shirt and ripped jeans. Striking against his tanned skin was the silver pendant he had loaned me last week.

“You look gorgeous.”

“I know.” Was he blushing? His tone had been full of confidence but for a moment I thought I’d seen a flush of pink in his cheeks. It must have just been the light. I remembered why I’d come in the first place when my eyes fell on the pot of hair wax, still open on the desk.

“Will you do my hair again?” I asked, and he grinned at me.

“Sure thing.” He picked up the small container and gestured me over to the desk chair. “Com’ere and sit.” His hands rested lightly on the backrest as he turned the chair towards the mirror.

I moved over and sat down hesitantly, avoiding my reflection as he began to rake his fingers through my hair.

“Same as last time, or something different?” he asked, and I raised my eyes to watch him in the mirror.

“You can do different things?”

He laughed at me, reaching for a comb and parting my hair as I watched in fascination.

“Yes, I can do different things.” He was still chuckling as he continued. “My best friend back home? Her brother’s a stylist.” I relaxed into the chair as he began to distribute the sweet-smelling product through my hair, teasing it and pulling it gently. I closed my eyes to listen. “I used to let him practice on me all the time, picked up a few tricks. I’ve been well compensated too; I haven’t paid for a haircut in years.”

I felt a hand pat me on the shoulder and I opened my eyes guiltily. It wasn’t often Gabriel spoke about his life in Australia in such an unguarded way and I had been enjoying that far too much.

“There, you’re all done.”

I rose to my feet to do a mirror check. My hair normally just fell straight down towards my eyes but this time instead of pushing my hair back, Gabriel had swept it to the side. I turned my head to admire how he’d tucked it behind on ear, pushing my fringe to the other side and giving it a roughed up look.  

“Thanks, I love it.”

“Don’t mention it.”

I hovered by the door, uncertain as I watched Gabriel grab his navy blue jacket from the bed and sling it over one shoulder.

“Ready to go?” he asked, and I nodded stiffly.

The butterflies were back, and I tried to ignore them as we chatted about random things on the way to the station. I knew I was rambling in my nervousness when I realised I was doing most of the talking. As we approached the statue we had arranged to meet everyone at I forced myself to take a deep breath and stop talking.

The silence that fell felt deeper than our silences usually ran, and my fingers twitched in the pocket of my jacket. I took my hands out, clenching them into fists as I counted to ten and prepared to reach out and hold Gabriel’s hand, but before I had gotten to five I saw Hiro wave as he made his way over to us.

“Hi! Did you guys wait long?” he asked breathlessly as we shook our heads.

“Nah, just got here.” Gabriel answered for us, moving to stand between Hiro and I. Over his shoulder I spotted Takuya’s head above the crowd as he quickly approached.  

“Just Saki and Miya to go.” I bounced nervously as we waited, tuning out the chatter as it turned to soccer and Takuya began filling us in on the brutal training Coach was putting him through.

“Sorry we’re late, _somebody_ was texting their _boyfriend_.” Saki’s voice cut through the soccer talk and we all turned to congratulate a blushing Miya.

“Since when?” I asked, and Miya beamed as she told me about how she had been texting Hayashida since last Sunday and he had asked her out on Friday afternoon.

“Yes, it’s wonderful! Now can we eat? I’m starving!” Saki announced, pushing through the middle of our group to lead the way. I shook my head as I watched her before turning back to Miya.

“Jealous?” I asked her quietly, and she nodded.

“Just a bit.” I saw her eyes flick to Takuya for a second and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Miya had noticed Takuya’s pining for Saki then I no longer felt any pressure to do something about it. I could probably leave that mess in Miya’s capable hands.

Despite her earlier abruptness, Saki seemed happy as we settled into our booth and the conversation was lively as we ordered and caught up. Gabriel had slid into the booth next to me and at first I was too distracted by the feeling of him pressing up close along my thigh, but in the general clamour of everyone taking their seats I noticed with amusement that Miya managed to get Saki sitting across from Takuya. Gabriel caught my eye and I grinned at him, but I was surprised that he only offered me a small smile in return.

Once the food started arriving I couldn’t keep track of everyone else. We had all ditched our jackets in the warm restaurant and sitting next to Gabriel I was very distracted by his tanned skin set off by his white shirt.

Surprisingly he was turning out to be a yakiniku expert as he curated bite sized combinations for me to try.

“Here, try this one,” he was holding out a piece of beef, spring onion and eggplant and without thinking I leant forward to take the mouthful from his chopsticks.

“Mmh!” my eyes went wide as the spring onion melted in my mouth. “That’s amazing!”

He grinned, turning the next batch of meat as it quickly cooked.

“You haven’t even tried the shiitake yet.” He teased, and soon everyone was vying for combo recommendations. We stuffed ourselves silly for an hour, too busy eating to really talk much and as the last of the dishes were emptied I felt my earlier nervousness return with a vengeance.

Now that I was here and it was time I wasn’t sure how to begin, but under the table Gabriel was gripping my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. I cleared my throat, calling everyone to attention as I announced that there was something I wanted to say to everyone.

I couldn’t look up for a moment, my eyes tracing a burn on the table as I drew in a deep breath. I looked up to face everyone squarely and thanked them for making time for me tonight.

“I wanted to tell you guys something, because it’s important to me, and it’s something I don’t want to hide from you anymore.”

I saw Saki and Miya exchange glances but I powered on. Now that I’d started I needed to get it over with quickly.

“I’m not really sure how exactly to say this, so I’m just going to say it.” I paused, locking eyes with each of them slowly, their expectant faces staring back at me not helping to abate my nerves. I turned to Gabriel last and while his face was carefully blank, he squeezed my hand again before changing his grip, winding his fingers through mine. I couldn’t help the small smile this brought to my face.

“Ok, so the thing I’ve been hiding is: I’m gay.” I had closed my eyes after making my announcement, and opened them again in surprise as I felt Gabriel pull away from me. My disappointment was replaced with surprised elation when I realised Saki and Miya were fighting their way towards me and two pairs of arms were suddenly cutting off my air supply.

“Jin!”

“We know!”

“We’re so proud of you!”

I was staring over them dumbfounded, nervously looking over at Takuya for his reaction, and to my relief he was smiling reassuringly, offering me a silent thumbs up as I began to try and pull away from the girls.

“What do you mean, you knew?” I asked them suspiciously, and they both laughed at me.

“Well I mean, we were pretty sure…” Miya offered shyly as Saki rolled her eyes at her.

“Jin, we’ve been sleeping over each other’s houses forever. And you have _never_ checked us out. You were either gay or asexual, and given certain _longing looks_ -”

Miya elbowed her in the ribs and Saki stopped talking suddenly, darting a look to the other girl before turning back to me.

“I mean, congrats on coming out! I really am proud of you.” She hugged me once more and I felt tears pricking behind my eyes as I gazed out over my friends.

“Thanks, all of you.”

I spotted Gabriel hovering at the end of the table, mask carefully hiding whatever emotion he might be feeling as watched me. I wiped impatiently at my eyes as Saki finally released me.

“This went better than I ever dreamed it would. Thank you.”

#

My nervous butterflies had turned into a warm happy feeling in my chest. We had stood to leave and Gabriel grabbed the check before I could, waving off my complaints.

“You shouldn’t pay for dinner,” I protested, but he spun me around by the shoulders and gave me a little push towards the door.

“I’m not; you gave me half our dinner money, remember?” I had looked back over my shoulder and caught him smiling at me. “Go talk with your friends, I’ll be out in a sec.”

I waited another moment before nodding silently and following my friends outside and into the chilly night air.

“So Gabriel already knew, huh?” Saki asked, arm linked with mine as she manoeuvred us over to lean against a low railing.

“Yeah,” I felt a laugh bubble up as I remembered. “He busted me on the first day.” I told her ruefully, my giddiness causing me to throw caution to the wind.

“Listen,” Saki darted a look back to confirm Gabriel was still caught up at the register. “I think it was very brave what you did tonight.” She patted me on the arm, obviously choosing her words with care as she continued. “We’re all here for you, Jin. So, just take a chance, ok?” She released me suddenly, grabbing Miya as she called her goodbyes over her shoulder.

I was hit with another wave of butterflies as she darted a quick look back at the restaurant where Gabriel was still lining up.

“Thanks for dinner! We’ll see you tomorrow!”

I waved the girls out of sight as Hiro sighed and stepped closer. I looked up at him before my eyes slid over to Takuya hovering nervously behind him. As our eyes met he offered me a smile and I returned it easily.

“Don’t you think it’s your turn to be brave?” I asked him, and he flushed from the base of his neck to his ears.

Hiro laughed and turned to slap him on the back.

“It looks like we’ve all noticed, Tak!”

He dropped his gaze as he plunged his hands into his pockets.

“Am I really that obvious?”

I could help the eye roll as I chuckled at that.

“If Hiro noticed, then yes.”

He sighed but smiled when he looked up.

“Well if you could be brave I guess I can too.” He looked over where the girls had disappeared.

“Maybe I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

“You should,” I told him earnestly as Gabriel stepped out to join us.

We waved goodbye as Takuya took his leave and then it was just Hiro, Gabriel, and I.

“I’m so proud of you, Jin.” Hiro told me, and I beamed at him. Gabriel was looking between Hiro and I, and I noticed him take half a step closer to me.

“Thanks Hiro. It’s really thanks to you.” Hiro’s easy acceptance this morning had given me hope that I didn’t have to keep hiding a part of myself from my friends, but never in my wildest dreams had I dared to think that it would have been as easy as everyone had made it for me. I really did have the best friends.

“Nah, I didn’t do anything special.” Hiro shrugged. “I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” he said, pushing off from the railing and brushing down his jeans.

“Wait, Hiroki.” Gabriel had been unusually quiet and it took us both by surprise when he suddenly threw out a hand to stop Hiro, eyes questioning as we waited for Gabriel to continue. “There’s still something we need to clear up.”

But Gabriel was looking straight at me, and with a sinking feeling I realised he wanted me to tell Hiro now.

“Jin?” Hiro asked hesitantly, and I reluctantly raised my eyes to meet his questioning gaze.

“Gabriel’s right, there is something I need to tell you.”  

I took a step closer, summoning up all of my courage as I faced Hiro squarely.

“I…didn’t tell you the whole truth this morning.” I began nervously, playing with the zipper of my jacket as I formed words.

“I told you that what you saw had been a one-time thing: it wasn’t.” I kept my gaze fixed on Hiro. I could see Gabriel watching me and I was so close to losing my nerve. “I also told you that it didn’t mean anything, but that was a lie. At least,” I paused, finally looking over to meet Gabriel’s eyes as I said, “It means something to me.”

Gabriel had taken half a step forward, a stunned look on his face.

“Well that’s a relief!” I looked back at Hiro in surprise to see his face had split into a huge grin. “Looks like I was worried for nothing.” He turned and slapped a hand down on Gabriel’s shoulder, and I watched as Gabriel looked at Hiro in surprise. “Remember, Jin’s still my best friend. If you hurt him, I’ll hurt you.” He warned him sternly, but there was amusement in his voice.

Gabriel swallowed, a smile slowly lighting up his face as he looked between Hiro and me.

“Yes, sir,” he told him, and Hiro patted him on the shoulder before turning back to me. “And you, don’t stay up too late. It’s a school night.” Hiro reached out and hugged me quickly as he whispered in my ear; “I’m happy if you’re happy Jin.” I locked eyes with Gabriel over his shoulder and I nodded once.

“I’m happy.” I confirmed, and he let me go.

We both watched Hiro disappear and for a moment I wasn’t sure where to look. Gabriel had drifted closer and I turned to look up at him.

“That went well,” I commented lightly, and Gabriel jumped like he’d forgotten I was there.

“…yeah,” he began hesitantly. “So listen, I’m confused…” He started to say as I reached up to take his hands, letting our fingers intertwine as he stepped closer. “No, wait a sec.” He pulled back, eyes searching mine. “Aren’t you in love with Hiroki?”

“Not since about, I don’t know, two weeks ago now.” I said wryly.

The slow smile was back, and he squeezed my hands tighter.

#

Gabriel refused to let go of my hand the entire train ride home. I could see people were staring but I couldn’t bring myself to care when we kept looking at each other and breaking out into dumb smiles.

By the time we got home my cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. We kicked off our shoes and climbed the stairs together. Gabriel still wouldn’t let go of my hand so while I opened his door he pushed it open for me, hanging back for me to walk in first.

I pulled him in after me, finally tugging my hand free and pushing his jacket off his shoulders as I pressed kisses to his bare neck.

“So is there something you want to say to me?” I asked mischievously as Gabriel helped me shrug out of my jacket and throw it over the chair.

“Congrats on finally coming out to your friends.” He replied cheekily, tipping me back onto the bed and pinning me down.

“Nope, try again,” I told him, fingers lightly stroking against his smooth skin as he bent down to nuzzle at my neck.

“You looked so hot tonight wearing my clothes,” he growled, lips nipping over my pulse as I rolled my eyes.

“Thanks, but that’s not it either.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Gabriel said softly, and I reached up to cup his cheek.

“Really?” I asked, my face splitting into a wide grin again as he stared down at me, my smile mirrored on his face.

“Yes, you tease! Now can you please say it back?”

“I think I love you too.”

Gabriel was radiant, a smile lighting up his face as I drew him closer to kiss him. Gabriel rolled off me, pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me as he crushed me to his chest. I could hear his heart pounding under my ear as I rested my head on his chest.

“So what happens now?” I asked nervously.

“I guess I’m your boyfriend now.”

I grinned as I felt his heart beat sped up.

“You don’t get to just _announce_ you’re someone’s boyfriend, Gabriel.” I said as I pushed free to watch his reaction, trying desperately to keep the smile off my face as I watched the emotions flit over his.

“What? But I thought-” he looked so lost and forlorn but it was so much fun to tease him.

I started to shake my head slowly, having to look away as to hide the smile that persisted as I continued.

“Besides, I happen to know you’re a _terrible_ boyfriend.” I told him, and he reached up to gently hold my chin, turning my face back so he could see me properly. He chuckled at the grin I was failing to supress, leaning back in to press a chaste kiss to my lips before he spoke.

“To be fair, I’ve never really tried before.”

His fingers trailed lightly through my hair, tucking it behind my ear and I could see myself reflected in his pupils as he smiled at me.

“I’ve never even asked anyone out before.”

I held my breath. This was it. _Finally_.

His fingers were still ghosting through my hair and across my cheek in light, reverent touches as he asked in a soft voice barely above a whisper.

“Please go out with me?”

He wasn’t waiting for an answer, his fingers cupping the back of my head and drawing me closer until our lips met once more.

“Yes,” I whispered back, letting him control the kiss as his tongue gently begged entrance. I sighed happily, sinking further into the kiss as I slipped my arms around him.

As much as I was enjoying this, we did have school tomorrow and we were supposed to start prep in the afternoon. I suggested we get ready for bed and it was with some difficulty that I pulled away to go and run the bath.

“You’re leaving me already!” Gabriel whined from the bed, pouting as he wrapped himself in the sheet like a straightjacket. I sighed at his theatrics, moving closer to ruffle his hair.

“I’m running the bath, Gabriel. I’m not even leaving the house.”

“I’m coming with you,” he insisted, but he had reached out and tackled me to the bed again. I lay there pinned for a moment, just letting him lie half on me as I wrapped my arms around him. He had fallen silent again and I was just about to insist that I needed to get up when he spoke again.

“I thought you were gonna confess to Hiroki tonight.”

I froze. He sounded sad, almost defeated, and I reached higher to cradle his head as he snuggled closer, hiding his face in my chest.

“I tried to sabotage you,” he admitted, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that was bubbling up.

“How?” I asked, pushing gently on his shoulders so I could see his face.

“By making you wear red and the shirt I was wearing yesterday,” he said, still avoiding my gaze. “I wanted Hiroki to assume we were sharing a wardrobe.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of ‘if you love something, let it go’?” I gave him a playful push and he finally cracked a smile.

“I’m not familiar with that saying,” he told me airily, pushing up to lean closer, lips brushing against mine softly. “And I’m not letting you go.”

“Can I ask you a question?” He had settled back down, head cushioned on my chest as I stroked lazily up his back.

“Sure,” he answered. He was heavy with relaxation as I trailed my hand up his spine, reaching higher to card my fingers through his hair.

“Why did you go out with Iida?” I knew that it didn’t really matter, but I had to know before I could let it go entirely. I felt him tense as he replied.

“Honestly?” He almost sounded embarrassed as he confessed. “I wanted to make you jealous. You were so fixated on Hiroki it was driving me insane.”

I laughed and Gabriel lifted his head to look down at me, trying to frown but unable to supress his grin.

“Idiot.” I leaned in to kiss him again and he smiled against my lips.

“I love it when you call me that.”

#

Eventually we parted long enough for us to both bathe, and I waited for him curled up in his bed, lights off, and hiding naked under the sheets.

I wondered how much I might have changed our dynamic by my actions earlier today. I had enjoyed everything we had done together so far, and I didn’t really prefer one way over another. I had started to feel nervous again by the time Gabriel reappeared, hair still wet from the bath and with only a towel wrapped around his hips.

I watched him as he removed the towel, laying it over the desk chair before coming over to the bed. I slid over to make room and he crawled in, arms out to hold me close. I felt his hesitation for a moment when his fingers encountered bare skin, but after just a few seconds he was pulling me to him, growling in my ear in a low voice.

“Are you trying to kill me Jin?”

I smiled as he nipped at my ear before moving lower to nuzzle against my neck.

“I just thought I’d make it easier for you,” I said, sliding my leg over his as I pressed myself closer to him. I was twitching to life, the sight of his naked body and the feel of his lips against my neck enough to get my blood pumping.

“I’m going to wreck you,” He muttered, hand sliding down my back to press me closer to him.

“Not if I wreck you first.”

“God you are so _perfect_.” Gabriel moaned into my neck, clutching me tighter as he spoke, “There’s no way I deserve you.”

I shrugged, grinning evilly. “Probably not, but I chose you anyway.”

I chuckled as Gabriel groaned before pushing back to look me in the eye.

“Why do I get the feeling I’ve unleashed a monster?” He lamented, but he had caught my smile.

“Reap what you sow, Gabriel.”

“Shut up and let me adore you.”

I watched silently, breath caught in my throat as he pushed the sheet back to move further down my body. My legs had parted almost unconsciously as he settled between my knees, hands ghosting over my stomach to tease me with light touches of his fingertips.

My eyelids fluttered closed at the first touch of his lips on my cock. Wet, open-mouthed kisses covered my hard length and I fisted my hands in the sheet as I arched closer to him, chasing friction even as he danced further away.

His hands settled on me more firmly, one pressing down below my belly button and the other holding my hip firmly as he sucked just the tip past his lips, tongue teasing as he rolled me in his mouth. I couldn’t help bucking against his hands and crying out. I felt him smile around my cock as he continued to suck.

I gasped as I felt his tongue probe, pushing past the soft folds of skin to touch the swollen head of my cock. I reached down to fist a hand around myself, pulling down firmly to expose the pink head. Gabriel responded with a low moan that sent vibrations through me, the wet heat of his mouth sinking lower as he settled his hand over mine, beginning a torturous pace that had me straining against the hand still gripping my hip.

Heat was leeching into the back of my hand where Gabriel’s palm pressed against me and I was lost in the overwhelming warmth rolling through me as I trembled beneath his skilful mouth.

I had been gripping the sheet tightly but I flexed my fingers, reaching instead to card them through Gabriel’s hair as he began to bob on my cock. Every time my fingernails scraped lightly over his scalp he would moan and I wasn’t sure what was more delicious, the pleasurable sounds he was making or the vibrations that left me twitching beneath him.

He changed the angle suddenly, taking me deeper.

“Wait,” I tried to sit up but the hand on my hip moved to push me down, now firmly pressed against my chest as I felt Gabriel pull my hand away, giving it a squeeze before he returned his own hand to my cock and began to pump me faster.

“Gabriel-“ I didn’t try to move again, sinking back into the mattress as Gabriel quickly brought me undone.

I trembled as I came, his throat working around me to swallow as I writhed beneath him. My hips shuddered reflexively as he licked me clean. I was still struggling to catch my breath.

“Not…fair,” I told him, narrowing my eyes as he grinned down at me.

“Don’t care.” I watched him as he rolled onto his back, arm thrown out across my chest as he closed his eyes. My eyes strayed down his naked body and I lifted his arm off me as I rolled closer to fit myself against him.

“Time for a little payback,” I murmured, and he twitched as my fingers ghosted over his hip to brush lightly along his erection.

“Are you going to punish me?” As Gabriel’s light, teasing tone reached my ears I felt them burn with a blush.

“Maybe,” I mumbled, bending down to capture him between my lips, half to hide my burning face and half to shut him up. My ploy worked and I couldn’t help my grin as he gasped in surprise. Sucking him down deeper, I felt his blunt tip brush against the back of my throat and I swallowed around him automatically, fighting the reflex to gag as I pumped him into my mouth.

“ _God_ Jin,” Gabriel moaned from behind me. I could feel the sheet slipping from under my knees as he grabbed at the bed. “Fuck that feels so good.”

With my weight balanced on one arm I released his cock to drop lower, humming in pleasure around him as his legs fell open for me. I let my thumb slide down between his legs, brushing over him with just a teasing touch, and I was rewarded with a helpless buck of his hips.

Slowing my pace, I slid him from my mouth and leaned lower, letting my tongue drag down over his sack and into the soft valley below. As I began to lick him I could feel his reactions, every breathy moan causing his chest to rise and fall pressed against me, pinning his now weeping cock between us as I rocked against him.

I hadn’t really thought about how my new position was causing my ass to wave in the air, so I was surprised at first when I felt a hand smoothing up my thigh, gently pulling on my leg until I was straddling Gabriel’s chest.

I sighed deeply as the first warm breath caressed me, followed soon by an equally warm mouth as strong hands pulled me down, holding me firmly in place as Gabriel began to lick me.

I shivered as a jolt of pleasure ran through me, my cock twitching back to life as he pulled down on my hips. Unable to resist his strong hands, or perhaps unwilling, I let him pull me away from my mission, propping myself up on my elbows as I returned my attentions to his throbbing dick.

I had only managed one broad stroke, the salty taste of his precome covering my tongue before I cried out as his tongue pushed into me.

Half-words and bitten-off moans fell from my lips incoherently as I writhed in pleasure, Gabriel’s tongue thrusting wetly into me. Taking just the glistening tip of him in my mouth, I sucked as hard as could in time with his rhythm. I was pleased when I felt him falter, until the empty sensation washed over me and I was pressing closer, begging him silently to continue, my cheeks still hollowed around his cock.

I sunk lower on his cock, a moan deep in my throat vibrating along his length as he licked me again. I hadn’t heard him retrieving the lube but he must have at some point because a slick finger was caressing me gently, sliding down to press against my entrance as he licked higher, sucking the soft skin of my sack gently as he slid into my hot passage.

It was getting harder to concentrate on pleasuring Gabriel as he worked at me, and when his hand snaked between my legs to wrap around my own cock I trembled helplessly, hips bucking weakly under his skilful hands.

The finger teasing my insides withdrew and I took the momentary reprieve to swallow Gabriel deeper, one hand wrapped around him to cover what I couldn’t fit as I worked at him.

I could feel wet, open-mouthed kisses being pressed to my cheeks and thighs before I felt the graze of teeth and the shock of a hickey being sucked into my flesh.

I retaliated with some suction of my own, earning a low moan as Gabriel fumbled for something on the bed. There was a rub of more cool gel before he was pressing into me again and I bucked down desperately, fucking myself open on his fingers even as his lube-slicked hand returned to my dick, fisting around me and using my own momentum to pump me.

Bracing my weight on one arm, I reached down to close my hand over Gabriel’s, slicking my palm before reaching back to pump at Gabriel while sucking just the tip of him, my tongue laving at his leaking slit.

“ _Jesus_ , Jin.” Gabriel sounded almost broken as he curled his fingers, searching for the bundle of nerves he knew would unravel me.

My back arched as he swept his fingers against that spot, my breath coming in pants as I quivered, fisted hand sinking lower to brush lube-slicked fingers between his legs.

“Feels so good,” I murmured bravely, gliding my fingers against him as his knees bent, legs parting for me. “Want you to feel good too.”

“ _Jiiiin,_ ” Gabriel called out as I slipped into him, chest sinking lower to press his cock between us as I curled my finger inside him. “ _God_ -“ I felt Gabriel tense under me, pace stuttering as he bucked against my finger. “That’s cheating!” he complained, hands once again finding a steady pace as I rocked back on his fingers.

“I-“ my breath hitched as he swept at that spot again, and I continued between breaths,

“don’t,”

“Care!” I finished triumphantly.

To my surprise Gabriel seemed to give up. His grip on me loosened and fell away as I dragged myself further down his body. I had found the lube on the bed beside us and I quickly poured more out as I stretched him to take a second finger.

I was close enough to take his cock in my mouth again and I teased him with my tongue as I began to scissor my fingers, enjoying the gentle glide of Gabriel sliding in and out of me.

Gabriel’s free hand was roaming up my thighs, over my hips and across my stomach. I keened in the back of my throat as he squeezed my hip, unable to resist chasing more friction against his hand as he continued to slowly fuck into me.

Gabriel was so soft now I could slide three fingers into him, the muscle sucking me in as I stroked his insides.

I was so confident I had him under control that I didn’t notice the slow withdrawal of his finger, or the hands moving to hold my hips. Suddenly I felt myself being pushed over, and I automatically reached out to balance myself, releasing Gabriel from the slow torture as he climbed to his knees.

“I’m going to ride you into the mattress,” he whispered darkly, pulling me towards him as he straddled my lap.

Words failed me as he sat on my stomach, stretching to reach a condom on the bedside before sitting back, my erection rubbing in the cleft between his cheeks as he collected the lube next.

I watched in stunned fascination as he rose to his knees, moving back to let the head of my cock slide wetly against him before he rolled a condom down over the weeping member, quickly slicking it with more lube before tossing the bottle aside. 

He spread himself over me, one hand holding my sheathed cock steady as he found his entrance. My hands flew to his hips, fingers gripping him tightly as he began to sink down, heat wrapping around my cock as he bottomed out.

“Fuck!” I cursed, feet digging into the mattress as he rocked his hips once, settling into position.

His head had been thrown back, mouth open with a blissful sigh until I had let the foul word fall from my lips. He was looking down now with what could only be described as a satisfied smirk.

“Oh Jin,” he crooned, one hand sweeping back over my thigh to raise my knees behind him. “I haven’t even started yet.”

He ground his hips into me and my fingers dug in deeper as he began to fuck himself on my cock. It was all I could do to just hang on as he raised himself up before slamming back down.

I didn’t want to curse again but my vocabulary was failing me. It was overwhelming. Everything was hot and tight and wet and now Gabriel was leaning forward, every slide of his hips gripping my length. Slippery fingers were caressing me before I was suddenly filled again, two long fingers sliding deep to curl up into that spot that had me writhing between Gabriel’s thighs.

“Does that feel good Jin?” he asked, voice breathy as he rode me.

“So…good” I managed to reply between breaths. My chest was heaving with the exertion and I could tell I wasn’t going to last much longer.  “Coming…I’m…comin-“

My back arched off the bed, hips straining as Gabriel rocked into me, milking me as I emptied myself, the fingers inside me fluttering against that spot before slowly withdrawing.

My eyes had snapped shut the second my orgasm crashed into me, but as I flopped back onto the bed I saw Gabriel had two fingers wrapped tightly around the base of his cock, hips still as he held himself tightly against me.

I felt the last shudder of my release move through me before he slid off my softening cock, lifting himself off of me and sweeping my legs up and over his shoulders.

My hands had fallen uselessly to my sides as he moved and I twisted my fingers in the sheets as he held himself steady at my entrance, pushing the blunt head past the slick muscle and sliding deeper as he folded me in half.

I cried out wordlessly as he filled me, sparks of pleasure zipping down my spine as I stretched around his hard length. It only took a few strokes before he was coming, cock buried in me as his hips stuttered and stopped.

Every muscle in my body relaxed as the tension drained from me, leaving me heavy and languid, so that when Gabriel finally lowered my legs they fell to the bed. I couldn’t move when he collapsed next to me, breath still heavy and uneven.

A tremor ran through my legs again and Gabriel laughed, rolling closer to press a kiss to my shoulder as we gradually collected ourselves. I let my eyes close as I felt Gabriel move off the bed to clean me up with tender touches and soft kisses to my cooling skin.

I opened my eyes to watch as he gently parted my legs, soothing the newly made bruise on my cheek with the cool wipe before cleaning the mess he had made.

When he was finished I sat up and guided him to lie down, taking the packet of wipes to return the favour. He watched me through half-lidded eyes as I carefully cleaned him, pressing a kiss over his heart as I finished and straddling him to press our chests together as I nuzzled into his neck.

“Gabriel.”

There were things I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to begin. I felt his arms wrap around me, hands smoothing down my back as I clung to him desperately. His words from yesterday were swirling through my mind. I wanted to tell him to stay here forever, but I knew that generic platitude wasn’t what Gabriel wanted to hear.

“For as long as you want me,” my heart was beating so loudly, I wondered if he could even hear me whispering over the sound of it. “I want to be yours.”

Arms tightened around me and I felt a press of lips to my neck.

“For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours,” he replied.

I couldn’t keep my eyes from closing and soon I was drifting off into sleep.

**Monday: Epilogue**

My eyes blinked open and for a moment I just relaxed into Gabriel’s embrace as I remembered the night before and everything that had happened. I pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s chest looking up at his relaxed and sleeping face as I felt my irrepressible grin from yesterday tug at my lips again.

My phone buzzed on the bedside, and as I looked over at the glowing screen I realised that it was what had woken me in the first place. I reached over, leaning all of my weight on Gabriel as I snatched up the phone and squinted at the notification.

Oh. It wasn’t my phone; it was Gabriel’s, and he had a message from somebody called Monique. I darted a quick look at him before curiosity got the better of me and I swiped the message open, turning to sit up against the headboard as the English text message came into focus.

\- Gabe hunny I’m so fucking happy for you!! Tell your bae I want to meet him and I love him already and just give him the biggest fucking hug from his auntie Nique and omg I’m just so proud of you ^O^

Intrigued, I scrolled to read the message above, and realised as I saw the time stamp that Gabriel had sent this last night. There was a warm feeling in my chest that felt like my heart was expanding. I looked down at Gabriel, still curled into my side and leant down to kiss the top of his head. It looked like there were a lot of messages before this, and now I _had_ to read them.

My jaw fell open as I continued to scroll higher, skimming over their back and forth conversation until I reached an outgoing message on the 16th of April, the day I had met Gabriel, I realized with a start. I read in stunned silence, and as I read the last message again I clicked off the screen, setting the device back on the table where it had sat innocuously, no indication on the outside of the treasure it had contained.

I stroked Gabriel’s hair tenderly, sliding back down next to him and wrapping my arms around my boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

I pressed kisses to his cheeks, his nose, everywhere as Gabriel stirred, blinking in the morning light, his beautiful mouth stretched into a smile.

“G’mornin,” he murmured, and I kissed him before replying.

“Morning.” I leant forward, head bowed to press my forehead to his as I reached down to find his hand to hold.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked, and I squeezed his hand as I replied, “I love you.”

He smiled wider, rolling us so I was lying on top of him.

“I love you, too.”

“I really love you.”

“What’s got into you all of a sudden?”

“Just making up for lost time.”

“We have all the time in the world Jin.”

I smiled as our lips met, and I kissed him gently before pulling back to tell him.

“You’ll have to tell Monique I said thank you, _Genjiro_.” And I watched his face flush red across his cheeks before the colour drained suddenly to leave him the palest I had ever seen him. I chuckled at his expression, and as I dipped down to kiss him again I told him smugly, “I did warn you to lock your phone.”

#

Gabriel had asked me to take a photo with him, and as he pulled me closer I couldn’t help from turning my head to look up at him. He was finally mine, really mine, and as I watched his silly grin I smiled happily.

He quickly typed up a message to send through with the photo, and he turned the phone to show me after he had hit send.

It was perfect. _He_ was perfect.

I wasn’t going to let anything come between us again.

 

 

 

 

Message to Monique Becker <niikabeek@ozmail.com>:

0727 160417

Count mon Niikabeek,

Finally made it. Might just stay here forevs now

12 hours on a plane is not as fun as it sounds T^T

I get to meet the host fam tonight but I’m overnighting at the Prince

No pics coz you’d hate me

The toilet is like a gundam robot. It’s fucking awesome here - G

 

Reply to Gabriel Hamilton < Hamiltondazzle99@hotmail.com>:

1622 160417

Cry me a river Gabe babe, you know it takes me like 24 hours to get to Heathrow -_-

Fuck you and your fancy hotel/robot toilet

Schools gonna suck tomo w/out you mate T_T

You’re supposed to be my best friend

I can’t believe you’re really abandoning me for a year

You suck

 

1859 160417

hot guy at 12 o clock holy shit Nique i’m in lust

 

2311 160417

Hot Guy™ is my host brother! I knew this year was going to be epic 

 

2317 160417

Omg Gabe you’ve only been there 1 day don’t be such a slut (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

But send me a pic I wanna know whos stealing my best boy（｡>‿‿<｡）

 

 

0024 170417

hes so beautiful

<attachment.jpeg032>

<attachment.jpeg033>

 <attachment.jpeg036>

 <attachment.mov001>

we made out down by a fountain

 I was suave as fuck

 

0027 170417

Omg

Jesus fuck that is so romantic

You realise you have to marry him now??

Its like a fairy tale, meeting your prince at the ball *swoons*

What’s my new sons name??

 

0030 170417

It’s Jin with the kanji for “virtue” <3

Which seems appropriate coz I was all like “I have a hotel room”

and he was all *cute head tilt* *does not compute*

 

0035 170417

aww (>-<) Precious Cinnamon Roll™

 

0028 180417

Shit shit shit

 He’s playing hard to get and he’s kinda into this guy at school

but I did trick him into being makeout buddies so maybe it’s not so bad??

 I made a wish at a real shrine today

 I asked for him to like me (>_<); 

 

0935 180417

Gabe don’t be a fucking moron

If you like the guy just tell him don’t play games or he’ll think you’re not serious

I can’t believe you’re trying to invoke a gods intervention smh

He probs wouldn’t be making out with you if he was way into someone else so just relax!

But fr dude I miss you and your bants

Send me all of the updates, I live vicariously thru you

 

2310 180417

DISAPPOINTED T-T wheres my update??

 

0926 190417

Dude. You better not be too busy making heart eyes at your new bf to talk to me

 

0944 190417

Here’s your update: he woke me up with coffee this morning

 If I don’t bang this guy soon my nuts are going to explode

 

1741 190417

thanks for the mental picture Gabe *shudders*

_God_

When I said updates I didn’t mean make this your porn blog!

 

2326 190417

Fucking hell Nique this guy is goddamn sexy

No explicit details for your virginal eyes but just know that

I Came…

to Japan.  Also check out his lovebite. I am a marked man now <attachment.jpeg127>

 

0624 200417

Fuck you Gabe and your shitty jokes

But congrats, you look like you survived a bear attack

When can I meet your new bf?

 

0750 200417

Nique he’s avoiding me now what do I do??

 

1213 200417

nvm hes just shy

And fucking sexy as hell

I can’t give in to his charms yet tho

I’m gonna get a confession outta this boy if it’s the last thing I do

 

1524 200417

you’re such a sap lol I’m glad youre happy babe

 

2259 200417

No confession yet

What’s wrong with me why doesn’t he like me?

 

0714 210417

There’s nothing wrong with you Gabe babe

just be patient and BE YOURSELF

 

0941 220417

I am so smitten he is perfect I live in his ass now

 

1050 220417

jfc Gabe. THE FUCK.

 

1142 220417

I’m not even sorry

Can’t talk now I’m busy playing with cats

<attachment.142jpeg>

Ps just bought Jin and I matching wallets I’m so gone for this boy

just bury me now

 

1217 220417

Teh KITTIES o(*≧□≦)o

you lucky bastard!

And you are such a sappy fuck lol

 

2218 220417

Nique I’m way into this guy but I think he’s gonna break my heart

He’s still got this huge crush on his friend but he’s still also kinda into me and idk

 I feel like I can’t steal him away y’know?

He’s not mine to keep

Shit this is fucked up

 

2230 220417

Gabe, you’re a great guy. Fuck his crush. Like, not literally. That would be gross

Just tell him you have a big gay crush on his ass and let him make up his own mind how he feels

Also, tell me about him already!!

I know hes fucking hot, but whats he like??

Sweet?

Geeky?

Hes not another one of your emo crushes is he??

Fav movie?

Does he give you all of the hugs??

You know you’re a cuddle monster he better fucken hug you

 

2235 220417

He’s perfect Nique

He makes me laugh and he’s really smart but not obnoxious about it

 He has this close group of friends that all really care about each other and he’s like their Mom Friend and today I think I fell for him a little bit more

Idk he’s just perfect

2237 220417

Tell! Him! That!

 

2341 230417

I fucked up

 

0055 240417

seriously fucked up

 

0327 240417

I’m scared nique I really like this guy and he’s still in love with Hiroki

 

0625 240417

dude holy shit whats wrong?

Did you get any sleep or were you moping all night?

Tell mama Monique what happened

 

0719 240417

okay so I finally get this guy to open up a bit

Everythings cool, the sex is super hot

 House to ourselves all weekend, its fucking amazing

But I did the whole not-boyfriends thing thinking that would be cool because he’s still all

“Hiro this, Hiro that” but hes clearly NOT cool about it

bc ever since everything I say just seems to piss him off and im a mess babe

He needs to tell Hiroki bc he clearly loves him and I’m trying to help but I just want him all to myself and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore

send help ToT

 

0722 240417

Babe. You are like my brother and ily but…

are you seriously telling me you did the “romance is a chemically induced illusion all relationships are doomed to fail” speech to the GUY YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING HAVE FEELINGS FOR??

And then you tried to hook him up with SOMEONE ELSE??

_WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???_

I mean bitch, don’t make me come up there coz I will slap you.

And then hug you coz you know you’re my dude but _DUDE_.

Yes, you’ve got some baggage but maybe you could just check the baggage. For a bit

I know where you’re coming from and yes some relationships fail but you’re having feelings amirite?

Just go with them

Jesus fuck I’m so mad at you rn 

 

1201 240417

Don’t ignore me Gabe, whats happening?

 

1645 240417

Are you making it worse because that’s what you usually do >_<

 

 

2317 240417

I’m not telling you jack shit if you’re just going to yell at me T_T;;

I’m handling it. It’s being handled. I have a Plan™

 

 

0630 250417

your Plans™ are certified shit.

Stop what you’re doing and let me help you before you fuck this up for good

 

1712 250417

Gabe I’m genuinely freaking out here

 

1928 250417

Same nique. Same.

 

1935 250417

Ready to admit you need my help?

 

2123 250417

Are you fucking ignoring me now??

 

0748 260417

I may have made it worse

 

0751 260417

Ofc you did. Damage report?

 

0752 260417

Won’t even look at me anymore

 

0753 260417

Whatever you did, _apologise for it._ _NOW_.

 

0812 260417

Am I to assume from your silence that you are apologising?

 

2149 260417

it’s okay I fixed it

And I don’t mean to gloat but my Plan™ is totally working btw so apology accepted ^^

Check out the dinner he cooked for us! And I helped!

<attachment.170jpeg>

#domesticbliss #husbands

 

 

2203 260417

Istg you’re a fucking rollercoaster of emotions But I’m glad everythings ok ^^

 

2223 270417

Nique I may have fucked up again

 

2248 270417

Gabe youre killing me (-_-)

What did you do this time?

 

2253 270417

Idk

One minute he’s pissed at me (hot) and the next he’s jumping me (super hot) but idk if he likes me or not

 

2255 270417

I’m sure he likes you Gabe

The important thing is does he know that _you_ like _him_??

 

 

0732 280417

I think we’re okay

 

0740 280417

I’m glad babe

I want to meet this guy that’s managed to whip you so quick

Do you call him daddy yet?

 

0742 280417

keep your dirty kinks away from me

I did call him master tho ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °)

he blindfolded me too

 

 

0745 280417

omg ugh (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) why do I ask you things??

fr tho congrats babe

Do your nasty thing

Ugh I’m gonna go confess for your sins now

Jesus my eyes

 

0749 280417

I’d rather you send some good luck vibes my way

 Last step of the Plan™ is in motion

 

0755 280417

Gabe STOP

Whatever edgelord theatrics you have planned DON’T DO IT

Just hold his hand and say “I really like you but I’m a huge fucking loser and I’m too scared to use the big L word first”

and then wait for him to say “I love you too”

 

0759 280417

Screw you Monique

this is going to work

 

0803 280417

You’re going to die alone aren’t you

 

0912 280417

lookit my drunk bae

<attachment187.jpeg>

 

1022 280417

wtf Gabe??

wdy mean drunk??

 

1155 280417

I mean sloshed

Soaked

Sozzled

 He is the cutest fucking drunk

You should have heard him before he passed out tho

Straight to the spank bank

1205 280417

Sinner

Why do I get the impression

you have been a bad influence on this

poor, _virtuous_ boy smh

 

2237 280417

Virtuous my fucking ASS (¬‿¬)

He might not remember his drunken confessions but he is absolutely perfect and holy fucking shit Nique I thihjk

 

 

2245 280417

Excuse you!

If you’re going to text me you could at least have the decency to finish your message before you send it (>.<)

But I’m glad it sounds like everything worked out I had my fingers and toes crossed for you!

 

0925 290417

Sorry Niquebeek duty called…

…and then screamed my name ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °)

 

0939 290417

TMI GABE TMI

I don’t want to hear about your dirty sexploits (//>.<//)

1832 290417

Shit Monique I need your help.

We were on a sort of date earlier and it was amazing and I’ll tell you all about it later but first real quick

 I thought I saw Hiroki in the city just after we’d been making out and now Hiroki’s just messaged me to back the fuck off his friend

Advice??

 

1845 290417

Maybe this is the push you guys needed

I know you can’t or won’t tell your lover boy you’re whipped for him but come clean to Hiroki at least

Just tell him the truth

He’s probably just worried you’re going to break Jin’s poor innocent heart

 

1849 290417

Hmm dunno

Feels like I should tell Jin before I tell anyone else

 

1853 290417

Well now you’re just being needlessly romantic bc _I_ already know

You big dummy

*sigh* I can’t be mad at you

 

1855 290417

I knew you’d understand babe.

 So what do??

 

1859 290417

You need to talk to Jin.

Fr babe.

Like

 _Right_.

 _Now_.

Clear this whole thing up

before your rival-in-love swoops in and makes a mess of it.

 

1902 290417

I’d love to but we’re kinda out at dinner with his rents at the mo

1903 290417

Gabriel

Genjiro

Hamilton

you put your goddamn phone away THIS INSTANT and behave yourself in front of that poor boys parents.

You hear me??

You make a good impression on them or so help me god I will be on the next flight out to whoop your ass

Do not reply

Just put your phone down and OBEY

 

2217 290417

I can’t believe you pulled out the full name T-T

I behaved

Dinner went really well

I’m gonna tell him tomo

 

2230 290417

tg bc you’re giving me grey hair over this

I’m never having children

raising you is hard enough

Good luck babe

 

2326 300417

Nique I did it

It was the hardest fucking thing in the world but I looked him in the eye and I said the

“I love you”

I’ve been wanting to say this whole time and then he said it back and I was fucking _terrified_ but I did it

I can’t stop smiling now

 

 

 

0605 010517

Gabe hunny I’m so fucking happy for you!!

Tell your bae I want to meet him

and I love him already and just give him

the biggest fucking hug from his auntie Nique

and omg I’m just so proud of you ^O^

 

0615 010517

<attachment.jpeg255>

Good morning from the lovebirds

Jin says “arigatou”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who gave this story a chance, but especially thank you to those who commented! And in particular to the anon on the early chapters and AnneSilverfire: you guys helped feed the motivation monster to keep me working on this to completion and I can’t thank you enough. May your OTPs become canon and your fanfic prayers be answered.  
> Peace out - Eva


End file.
